The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[BabyTrace]

Compliance isn't glamorous or exciting but it sure does get results.

That's so true Nickie. And it's simple, not easy, but definitely simple. I guess these Medifast people really do know what they are talking about.

I admire your determination to get back on plan and finish the journey.

Tracy

[queenielou]

Hey Nickie,

Glad to hear you made it through yesterday. Hope today is much easier for you

[bikipatra]

I think getting results is definitely exciting, and getting results is due to compliance.

[nickieluv]

I think getting results is definitely exciting, and getting results is due to compliance.

I agree - after I typed that sentence I realized my mistake. The results sure as heck-fie are exciting!!

I'll make it today but I am hungrier than I was yesterday. That's pretty common for me, that day 2 is worse than day 1. I actually had oatmeal to try to fill me up some more, and curb the sweet tooth. In fact, I'll probably have oatmeal again before bed. Might not make my loss the best tomorrow, but it'll be better than eating ice cream!

Very sad - I saw an ice cream spoon from my McDonald's trips earlier and boy did I want ice cream all of a sudden. I think if there was still some on the spoon I would have licked it. OK, that's gross, and I PROBABLY wouldn't have done that. But I for a split second considered eating off-plan. It's seductive, that kind of thinking. I can't wait to be back at school for the structure - but I'll have to watch the stress factor. I just realized that the first day of school is a Thursday, and that means on day 1 I'll have the entire 2nd grade in the afternoon. What in heaven's name am I going to do with that many kids on the first blasted day of school? I'm thinking I'll be going through last year's lesson plans to find songs they already know, and we'll have a sing-along the first day. The first sing with the Kindergartners will be rough - I won't have seen them all yet to have taught them anything. Oh well, I'll survive.

Well, I'm off to put the baby to bed in a few minutes, and then I'll read for a bit, have some more oatmeal and water, and head to bed. At least that water thing isn't a problem for me - it so used to be, and I guess that should give me hope. If the Dr. Pepper queen can learn to like water, what's to stop me from learning to eat healthier long-term, too?

Okey-doke - hope everyone is well, and talk to you tomorrow!

[nickieluv]

I actually had an RTD last night, but the rest of the my evening went as planned. I've read three books in the last three days, but it's keeping me away from animal crackers so I'll take the tired eyes.

I didn't get as much sleep last night - but still about 8 hours. I'll have to try to get to bed earlier tonight.

I'm headed into work again today as soon as my husband wakes up. He wants me to stay home tomorrow so we can have some family time together - it's been like school is in session this week because I've been gone every day. So I have to see how much I can get done, and whether or not the time I'll get next week on conference days is enough to finish up, or if I do need to go in again tomorrow. Maybe he can come with me tomorrow - I'll need help decorating (I don't climb things if I can help it).

I'm starting to dread leaving the baby every day - I've been doing it all summer, and that's part of the problem I'm having. The good news is we have vacations (little ones) throughout the year, and days off here and there, and I won't have anything else to fill my time on those days, so there is some quality time in the future to look forward to.

I haven't broached this with my husband yet, at least not officially, but we are definitely going to have to cancel that vacation. I'll still wait until the deadline just in case, but from reading the financial books I see that we are fooling ourselves to say we are tackling debt, and then spend 4 grand on a vacation. According to the figures, we'll be in much better shape in just 2 years. That's not so long to wait for a vacation - 2 years from September, then we can start planning something. I'll probably be back at work then - actually, scratch that two years, because me going on leave will put a big stop to the plan for several months. And yet I can't bear the thought of waiting even longer for my next baby, just in the name of money. That seems like having my priorities skewed.

Oh, who knows what will happen. All this future-tripping I've been advised against. One day at a time, one month at a time, just see where our plan takes us. You never know what will happen anyway. One of us could lose a job, and that scares me. There's a real possibility that my church is going to fold soon, and there goes like 12% of our income. Plus you never know when layoffs are going to hit my husband's company, and there goes 40% of our income - actually more, because that's only take-home, and he pays several things directly out of his check. We'd be selling the house, moving in with my mother, and eating dog food.

Anyway - why am I even talking about that? God will take care of us, if we are trying very hard to take care of ourselves. We are making good, mature steps and that's the right thing to do. It's like a diet for our spending.

And the diet for my eating is going well. I have no reason to believe today will be a problem, as long as I keep my focus and don't get sidetracked by perceived convenience or being tired. I can do this. I've proven that I can. Now comes the hard part of actually doing it.

[Serendipity]

And yet I can't bear the thought of waiting even longer for my next baby, just in the name of money. That seems like having my priorities skewed.

Nickie, I would never say your priorities are skewed if you put off having a baby until you take care of your money woes and thus can afford to stay at home with him/her! So many parents think of themselves first as in "I need another baby" instead of waiting until they can provide for said baby.

Just MHO, everyone, don't attack me, pleaseeeee.

[katieb920]

I 100% agree with Jo. I think that you are being responsible about your future. About the trip it will always be there. Dont rush things.

Great job on being compliant. You and me girl. We can do this together. (and everyone else on this board)

Katie

[katieb920]

Hiya girlie, just checking on you.

What part of New York do you live in. My sister is moving back to New york the Bingmington Area. Do you live near there.

Katie

[nickieluv]

Nickie, I would never say your priorities are skewed if you put off having a baby until you take care of your money woes and thus can afford to stay at home with him/her! So many parents think of themselves first as in "I need another baby" instead of waiting until they can provide for said baby.

Actually, Jo, I thought I was being selfish by waiting. I guess you could look at it either way, because either way I have something to gain. If I wait longer, until we can truly afford for me to be out for a year or two and not lose any ground financially, then I gain peace of mind and possibly the ability to quit, period. If we have a baby sooner, and have to struggle through another year of leave, then I gain the joy of bringing another little person into the world.

I guess I just thought that by waiting, I was being selfish by not allowing my son or daughter to be born.

There are things to lose, too. If we wait, then I will be older and possibly have a harder time getting pregnant - and I may not be able to have as big a family as I'd like. If we hurry, then my time on leave will be filled with stress about money.

Of course, in the end, I will get pregnant when God wants me to - no matter how careful I am or how hard I try. My first baby was an accident and you might even say she was conceived at a horrible time - it certainly was the lowest spot in our marriage - but God brought her along anyway in His infinite wisdom. So I really should just let go. I could use 17 kinds of protection at once and if God wants me pregnant, I will be. And I can chart my cycle all I want, and if God doesn't want me pregnant, I won't be. Things are not done on my schedule, but his.

I will continue to talk this out with my husband. Eventually we'll know what the best thing is to do. In the meantime, there's plenty to keep me busy right this minute without making up other stuff to worry about.

I was back in my classroom today, for about 6 hours - it's getting there. The room itself is almost done - arranged and decorated - and I have my paperwork in place for the beginning of the year. I need to create sub plans, finish sticking up a few decorations, and put away just a couple more things. I can't decide if I want to go in tomorrow or not. I think I do - but only if my husband will come in to help me. I really, really hate climbing on things - and even when I do, I'm often still too short to reach anything. Plus, another set of eyes usually helps. The sub plans can probably wait until next week. I will have time in my room each afternoon on the conference days to work on those.

I had wanted, at the end of last year, to start this year with a month of lesson plans already completed, and the church completely organized. I didn't quite make it, but having such big goals enabled me to get a lot more done than I would have if I'd aimed lower. I've got the entire year's worth of church music planned and organized, the filing cabinets have been cleaned up - all that remains is the little piddly stuff like putting away old music and things like that. December break, or Thanksgiving break, I'll tackle that. As for school - I have everything sorted out, I've tossed a lot of stuff, and I've chosen the materials I'll be using this year so that I'm not overwhelmed by the dozens - maybe hundreds - of books I have to choose from. I don't have any lesson plans done yet, but I'm in a good place to start and all my organization is in place - and getting those sub plans done will be a load off my mind, knowing that if I have to be out because I'm sick or the baby is sick, my students will be taken care of properly. At least, they'll have proper plans. I guess I can't really control what the sub actually does, but I can control what I provide.

So - I'm tired. I pretty much hated going to work all this week - but on the bright side, school itself will seem like a vacation after all the work I've done already. I've set things up well. It should be a good year.

Oh, and Katie - I didn't forget about your question - I have an aunt who lives in Vestal, which is quite near Binghamton but about 2 hours away from me. I'm more centrally located, not so much south.

[katieb920]

Well when I get up there would love to meet cha.

[nickieluv]

Absolutely, Katie!

I am so glad today is day 3. If it was day 1 I know I would have cheated because it was 'only day 1.'

I went to the church at 5 for what I thought would be a 90-minute job - and it took me twice that long. Ugh. My daughter just got to bed, 2 hours past her bedtime, because I was out so late working. And I forgot to have her brush her teeth because it was so late.

To top it off, since I didn't think I would be too long, I didn't bring a meal - and I didn't have my L&G before I left because I thought I could have it after - and now it's 9 and I have to eat twice more for the day. I'm taking 2 RTDs upstairs and a bottle of water, reading for a bit and then calling it quits. What a long, hot, sweaty day - it cooled down outside, but not INSIDE any of the buildings I was working in.

Still not sure if I'm going in tomorrow - part of me hopes so, because I can't do the decorating by myself - and part of me says 'take a long weekend and do it on Tuesday.' Guess which part I think is going to win?

[nickieluv]

Well, I did my 6/0 yesterday out of necessity but I am quite hungry today. I'll have to watch out. I'm already having oatmeal for breakfast instead of my usual RTD to try to fill myself up early on - and water, of course!

I am down today to 196.1 - from a high this week of 203.6 (yikes!). It's nice to be moving back down again, but it won't feel like real progress until I get under 193.9, which is the lowest number I've seen so far. But I'm quite sure that I'm done derailing myself. I wanted to reach my goal in a year, which is December 28th, and with all my cheats the projection is up to March 30th. Kind of stinky. Especially when you consider how much easier and cheaper life is when I'm compliant. Wasteful behavior, and it must end!

I'm off to eat my oatmeal now, and fill up the water bottle. I may be checking in more than usual if I keep feeling this hungry. I may also have my L&G for lunch, too. But I'll make it!

[nickieluv]

The oatmeal seems to have done its job. I'm feeling OK, not starving like I was when I woke up. That's a relief. Not sure what today will being - seems like a 'wait and see' kind of day so far.

I was talking with a colleague at work yesterday and she asked some questions about my weight loss. Kind of personal questions, actually, but she's a little odd anyway and besides, I don't really mind talking about it. I mean, it's no secret I was a porker.

Anyway, she says she watches what she eats constantly. And I told her that part of what I'm starting to realize is that it is actually normal to be careful of what you eat. I always thought thin people just ate whatever they wanted - but I am realizing that the few people who can actually do that are the exception to the rule - and also, it seems that for most of them it is a phase they grow out of, and eventually they have to be careful, too. So my quest for normal eating has really already been won. The way I used to eat whatever I wanted, in whatever quantities, because I thought I deserved to be like all the 'normal' people, was really abnormal in point of fact. Now I'm normal - I worry about what goes in my mouth, and I try to make the best choice that I can.

This puts maintenance in a new light. It really will be harder than losing the weight, because there will be nothing off-limits, and I will have to choose the fruit for dessert instead of the chocolate, or skip dessert altogether, most of the time. And that might be hard when there's no real reason for me to make the good choice - what I mean is, when I'm not on a diet. I know how diets work, especially this one after 8 months, and I'm comfortable with it. But I don't know how healthy eating works, and that's going to be a big learning curve for me.

Thank goodness that transition guide is so detailed, and that I'll have lost so much that I'll need to use it for 3 or 4 months. It will be a long transition, gradually adding in foods, and by the end of it I will hopefully have a really good idea of what normal, healthy eating looks like.

I'm afraid to gain it all back. And Lauren and Jo say that fear is a good thing. Maintenance is going to be a whole new, harder adventure - and one that will never end, unlike the weight-loss phase. Not something to obsess about, right now - but certainly something to keep in mind. I still have more to learn about how to maintain - I know how to gain and how to lose, but who wants to be in that endless cycle? Not me, not anymore.

[Karli]

Hi, Nickie. This is really a great post and these realizations you are having are superb and right on !!

Keep going .

[nickieluv]

Thanks, Karli. They are tough realizations, and it does not make me happy to think about them one bit. I am definitely going to have to be careful with my inner child on this one. She is going to want to go bonkers and eat everything in sight once she truly realizes that she's not EVER allowed to do that. Maybe I will need to put in something like the 'free meal' concept in maintenance. The hard part is making it just a free meal, and not a free month. I don't know if denial until I can't take it anymore is the way to go, or scheduling treat days. I just don't know if food will ever be in its proper place in my mind and heart - I don't know if these thoughts of deprivation will ever go away.

I used to think that if I was only thin, I would eat carrots and yogurt and never want another junky food again. After losing 70 pounds-ish, and this latest off-plan string, I realize that losing weight has only made me feel that I have more of a buffer and can eat the wrong foods risk-free.

On the other hand - months and months of saying 'no' to temptation will have to be helpful, right? For instance, at school events there is almost always food. Right now I've been having nothing at all. How hard is it for a teacher to pass up free food? Pretty hard. On maintenance, I could have some of the vegetables and a diet soda or water, for example, and pass up the huge muffins and bagels. Or, if I'm really craving the muffin and a regular Coke, I could have that - and just know how many calories that is, and adjust for the rest of the day. When the kids have brought me their birthday treats, I've always had to say 'it looks delicious, but no thank you.' I can just keep saying that. Maintenance doesn't have to be THAT much different from the weight-loss phase - different only in quantity, not quality. I can have more food overall, but there's no reason to trade in all my calories for the day on a muffin and Coke (and yeah, they're big muffins, and I can easily see that taking up all my calories for a day) when I know that means I have to go hungry all day long. Much better to make the healthy choices.

Soon I'll be like Lauren with her gallon bags of veggies everywhere I go. Hey, if it works, if it keeps the weight off AND is good for me, I guess it's not so bad.

At the rate I'm going I'll be in the weight-loss phase forever, though. But I'm starting to see how people can be scared of maintenance. I guess I was in some denial about what maintenance would really be like.