The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[katesmom]

Lasi,
I liked what you said about the weight is sometimes about "feeling and behaviors !!" You are so right... Attitiude is everything !!

You have helped me so much today !

[Lasi]

Thanks, you never know what you say will affect someone.

[nickieluv]

Yes, Lasi, the behaviors and emotions are all part of this - a big part. And even when you think you've conquered something, it can rear its head in a different way later on.

More of what I learned this time....

Momentum can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I remember, working on all those days of compliance, the first bite off-plan was really hard. I thought and thought and thought, walked away numerous times, but eventually ate what I shouldn't. Now getting back on track feels just as hard. I came home and wasn't even going to eat my bar, I was planning on an RTD - but almost as soon as I got home I was thinking 'you've only had one MF meal today, you can take another day off, what do you feel like eating?' I did have a bar because I thought the bulk of it might be more helpful than an RTD.

Staying compliant/getting compliant is a conscious decision every moment of the day. You don't just decide one morning that you're going to be compliant and go sailing through the day - I don't, at least. Each meal that I have today I will be arguing with myself. Probably for the next week or so, even. I have to WANT to make good choices and I have to keep that in mind ALL the time. After a while, momentum will help me, and I will practically sail through my compliant days with no thought. And that's encouraging. After a long time on transition, maybe I can sail through my maintenance days without a lot of thought, too, using the momentum of my healthy eating to keep me going. And being aware that I can win the arguments with myself about poor choices - I don't have to give in to past bad habits!

Well, I feel like I want to finish up my project today with my journal, so while the baby is napping I'll see how far I can get with that. Hopefully pretty far, if not finished. I'm eager to print out those motivational pages in my own words and read them today, start to finish - and to know that they are handy as another thing to do when I feel like eating off-plan.

Oh, and did I mention I made myself sick? Whenever I carb/sugar overload myself, I get a cold. I've got one. My throat hurts and I'm tired and basically icky-feeling. I used to go through this all the time, sometimes staying sick for weeks (even though I considered myself a relatively healthy fat person). One day of bad choices is not the end of the world. But I always think that, and I forget that one day turns into a week most of the time for me - a couple of times, it became a whole month.

I want to get into an exercise schedule when I start work again. Doing that walking program in the transition guide. But I say that a lot and haven't done it yet. Again, I have to WANT it. Off to do my project.

[nickieluv]

I still think this project is a great idea but it's taking FOREVER. I've now finished up to page 32. A third of the way done. But I can't sit here any longer, so I'll have to do more later.

Interestingly, though, I now have more positives than negatives, whereas last time I stopped (page 16) I had twice as many negatives as positives. It's all positive, really, if it helps me. But you know what I mean.

OK, I'm going to go - I don't know - drink some water, read maybe?

[nickieluv]

I am hoping someone with experience in clothing matters can comment here.

I tried on all my sweaters from last winter (the ones I kept - I threw out the ones I thought were hideous already) and all of them still fit. We are talking 2x here. They're all knits or ribbed/cabled that kind of thing, but really - to still fit?

So the way I see it is - I was wearing them too small before, or they just had a lot of stretch, or they actually don't fit now but I don't realize it. How do you know if something is too big? I lifted my arms to the sides and if there was a lot of fabric I figured it didn't fit - but most of them didn't have extra fabric. Well, not a lot of extra fabric.

I'm due for my third supplement (stew - it's cooling in the microwave right now) and I'm on my third 16oz bottle of water. Not stellar but so much better than I've been doing this week! I know I'll make it today and be compliant - not sure how I can be so calmly assured, but I am. My mind is in a different place today. I know what I have to do, and no amount of stalling is going to make it different. I have a long way to go still, and I can get there, but only if I stop getting in my own way. It sure is making me nervous about goal, though. Will I go hog wild when I get there? Will I have learned enough to make good choices? Thank goodness I have 50 pounds of buffer before I have to find out.

[Mickeyz]

I am hoping someone with experience in clothing matters can comment here.

I tried on all my sweaters from last winter (the ones I kept - I threw out the ones I thought were hideous already) and all of them still fit. We are talking 2x here. They're all knits or ribbed/cabled that kind of thing, but really - to still fit?

So the way I see it is - I was wearing them too small before, or they just had a lot of stretch, or they actually don't fit now but I don't realize it. How do you know if something is too big? I lifted my arms to the sides and if there was a lot of fabric I figured it didn't fit - but most of them didn't have extra fabric. Well, not a lot of extra fabric.

I think the way clothes fit is a personal taste thing, but you should be able to see your body under it all and not be swimming in it. I find my tops that are too large typically have extra fabric under the arms and also sort of an extra fold of fabric from the breast up to the shoulder. I doubt you were wearing your sweaters so small they would fit now. I don't see any way you could be a 2x! Maybe you are in a bit of a mood to hide under your clothes right now. Try them on again and see if you can see your body under them. Then, get yourself some pretty new sweaters for the winter. You deserve them!

[nickieluv]

I did wonder, Mickey, if I was looking at myself with 'fat eyes' because of my recent binge-fest. I'll try them on again at a later date to be sure. But I did get rid of one shirt that I had previously loved (it was an 'old standby') because it honestly did seem too big, and had too many fat memories. But I don't know - some of those 2x sweaters seemed pretty form-fitting. There was a lot of give involved in them from the get-go - one shirt I didn't even wear for the longest time, and now it fits like a cotton t-shirt instead of like a spandex nightmare. I'll keep that one. Odder still - there's a long sweater-jacket I have that is a 2x (supposedly) and it STILL doesn't go around me - it's about 2 inches from meeting in the middle. I wonder if it was mis-tagged or something because that's just odd.

Well, I'm on page 50 of my journal project - 10 pages of good excerpts, 9 pages of bad. Even just seeing that is encouraging - that I've had a lot of successes so far, not just failures. I was not really compliant today, but I'm on my way. I had too much lean, no green, and 2 bars - but it was basically a 5-1, just the wrong details, but no pizza, no pasta, no sugary goodness. I even had a beef stew and a hot cocoa today, not just RTDs. I'm looking forward to tomorrow being a truly compliant day. And I did pretty well with water - not quite 100oz but getting there!

The poor baby is coughing upstairs. I hate that she's sick - it makes me feel terrible. We had a little chilly spell for a couple of days and while I put jeans on her, I didn't add a sweater, so I'm sure it's my fault she came down with something. It's sometimes hard for me to remember, now that she's older, that she still needs an extra layer - especially in the middle of August, who expects 65 degrees?

I still feel icky from my carb overdose - the water is helping but I've got a ways to go. Piano lessons tomorrow, but nothing else. Tuesday we're golfing in the morning and my sister is coming over afterwards for a couple of days (my younger sister, not quite 13). Wednesday I have a workshop all day for school. I think we'll probably take my sister home Thursday night, so on Friday I'll finally get into the school, if I don't make it in for a little bit tomorrow - although they've waxed the main hallway today so maybe I should stay away till the end of the week after all. There's lots to do, but I have a full week next week to go in every day if I want to - and also, I feel like summer is ending (which it is) and I've missed every bit of it, so I'm in no rush to start work again - as much as I am looking forward to certain aspects of it.

Well, I'm headed off to bed - to try to sleep while my baby coughs - I hate it that there's nothing I can do! At least she is sleeping, eating, drinking, acting normally, and has no fever - but she sounds terrible and that's tough to listen to. Well, off to bed, and to a compliant day tomorrow.

[bikipatra]

On the sweater issue, I think it just differs from sweater to sweater and how they are knit. I can wear a medium sweater but while purging my closet, I tried on an 18/20 sweater yesterday and it still fit quite well. It wasn't too long or too loose. I think it was just designed to fit snuggly. I was thrilled to be able to keep it since it is lavender with metallic lavender threads going through it. I swear I didn't let that affect my choice. Another factor to consider when throwing sweaters out is if they would be good for layering on top of other items. Then they would need to be slightly larger.

[nickieluv]

Layering - I never really did that in the past, I always thought more bulk was a bad idea on my frame. And all my clothes were pretty bulky because of the amount of fabric you need to wrap around a person of a certain size.

I think there are some that were just designed to fit snugly, certainly - there's one green one I'm on the fence about but I'll think about that layering thing.

I got to sleep in a little bit today - until almost 9. The baby seems to be sounding much better, but I sound worse. I guess it has to get worse before it gets better - or maybe I graduated from a carb-cold and caught her summer cold. Anyway, I've had my RTD and am planning on a fully compliant day - no extras. I did change my ticker so now I'm still going for 6 weeks, but I wanted it to end on the same day, so technically it's only 41 days now instead of 42. It ends with the weigh-in on September 30th. And all you teachers know how September flies by!

I also lost 3.5# today. Gotta love the instant gratification of water weight going away. I know the sleep helped, and the water I finally got in yesterday - even though I was not perfect, it did help and I feel more comfortable making good decisions today.

My sister is coming over tomorrow and I was thinking how easy it is to make an excuse to eat poorly. The last time she visited I stayed on-plan 100%, even with more food choices in the house. I'll do that this time as well - but of course I am so tied up with food that I think of things like taking her out to dinner, or a movie, and getting ice cream, all that jazz. I think she's happy just to be here - she hasn't entered the sulky teen phase of her life yet - so I don't need to worry so much about doing a bunch of things. She's a homebody like me after all. But it's insidious, this 'special occasion' train of thought. I know some things really ARE special, but I see that my definition has to be severely narrowed.

Piano lessons will be here soon - I'm looking forward to getting that money in the bank. I have so many things to reserve and buy for my husband's Christmas/Anniversary present that I plan to decide which tickets I think will be the hardest to get, and buy those first. I am really excited about that present. Now THAT will be a special occasion - but the whole three days doesn't have to be about food. I have to remember that - occasions are special for other reasons. I may remember the view at a restaurant, but you know, I don't remember anything I've ever eaten there. So why not make healthy choices? Don't stuff, lady!

That's all for now. Not sure what the day will bring in terms of finishing my journal project, but for now I'm enjoying my sort-of vacation for the next two weeks. There's work to do but at least I'm home with my daughter.

[Mickeyz]

Sorry to hear about your cold. Summer colds can be so nasty. But glad to hear about the weight loss!

6 weeks sounds like a good amount of time. You did it before and you can do it again.

[Karli]

Okay, Nickie. Day 2, here we come !! .

[Lasi]

I hope you and the little one gets better soon. You really sound like you have a grip on things. You have a busy week and are doing great on your journaling.

Congrats on the loss, Keep it up.

[nickieluv]

Hi! Thanks for the good wishes about the cold - I did it to myself and in a way I deserve it. Even with the baby sick and giving me snuggles all the time, I bet I wouldn't have caught her cold if I'd been compliant last week. Eating junk makes everything break down. Funny how we turn to junk when we're over-stressed anyway, and really what we need is a good nutritious meal and a nap. Getting the nap is not likely, but nutrition - that I can do a better job of, certainly.

I'm hungry today - no big surprise there. I've already had 3 bottles of water and three supplements today - which basically means I'm on schedule, but I'm feeling munchy and have to wait at least another hour before I eat again. So I'm here, and drinking lots of water. I know what to do - there's some relief in knowing that today I am finally doing it. My sister invited me to Pizza Hut tonight but I couldn't go - it's my first day of compliance and I didn't want to test myself, even though I know I could do it - I just don't want to work that hard today. They are coming to get the baby after they eat, so she can spend the night with them because we have to go golfing so early tomorrow - so I wonder what I'll do tonight. Will I stay up late? Will I go to bed early? Will I veg out and watch TV? Will I finish my journal project? I guess I just have to wait and see what mood hits me.

I might try on all my school clothes again - make piles of 'fits,' 'almost fits,' and 'try on in November.' In a way, it's nice to have so many sizes - every month or so I can try things on and get brand new wardrobe options. Wonder if I'll get to the point where my 12s are big and I have to go buy 10s? Why do I always look so far ahead? I have all kinds of plans and contingency plans floating around in my head, and in the meantime there's no room up there for what is important TODAY. I've got to work on chilling out - no more 'future tripping' as Biki called it once.

Well, I'm hearing little bumps upstairs so I think my daughter might be up from her nap - and besides, all that water, I have to go upstairs anyway....

[ChynnaDoll]

Seems like your plan for TODAY is good:+)...you mentioned alot of different yet positive possibilities gosh thats'a LONG word lol! Hey i'm here if ya'wanna talk to keep busy..will send you my email.

I don't think in my humble opinion, that eating off plan caused your cold..a cold is a cold and it's gonna come to'ya if it was meant to be REGARDLESS..so don't beat yourself upon that:+)
Then school is about start again and your mind focus will be on that...a brand new year to look forward to and maybe some brand new students to meet..how EXCITING!..you won't even have time in your mind to think about whether you'll intermittently eat off-plan
or not..just trying to give'ya a boost here my friend cuz i love you:+)

Ok signing off now!

Love,
Chynna

[katieb920]

Awesome job on staying compliant. ONe thing that has really helped me in the past 40 days is when I feel the muchies coming on. I drink a glass of water then put a piece of any peppermint or cinnamon gum in my mouth. Because you really can not eat after you have that in your mouth.
Katie