The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

My night was passable, Biki. I still need to catch up on sleep from the last - oh, year! But I'm making it through the days.

Thank, Karli, about the naughty tickle. I am pretty impressed with yesterday myself. Before I would have just given in, I think - if not yesterday, today or tomorrow. But I never put a plan in place to try to help myself get through the day, I just white-knuckled it. Yesterday I was proactive and that feels good. It feels like a good skill to have, and important for maintenance. I always would say that if I had that feeling, it must be because my body needed food - so in the past, and in my mind on maintenance, yesterday would have been a day I just ate whatever I wanted all day long. Now I know it's because my MIND needed food, and that I can overcome.

196. Never to see 200 again.

I have to go change my ticker (goal weight, too!) and then eat and practice a song for church. I AM pretty much walking on air today - I've more been creeping on air all week, nervous - but today it is official - I am in onederland and there is no going back now!!!!

[Tawanda]

Good going Nickie!

[bikipatra]

Welcome to Onederland. I am so proud of you! The day I reached it is still my most joyous day on MF so far. I imagine reaching goal will top it, but I'm not there yet. Ask me in 18.5 pounds!

[holberry]

OH what a feeling eh??
You did it girlie, you did!

[nickieluv]

Thanks you guys! I think I cheated myself out of the elation somewhat by seeing it on Tuesday but not letting myself trust it. This was the most consistent week of loss I think I've had - a little something everyday, up a touch yesterday but because I ate 'real food' so late at night - almost a textbook week you could say.

I feel a little stuck externally right now. Compliance is working and that's wonderful. But I'm feeling the urge to start buying work clothes, and I really can't justify a single purchase. I don't want to buy a whole lot of 16s, because I think by the time school starts they'll be too big. But I don't want to go for 14s because what if they're still not big enough in a month? I hate waiting until the last minute - and then, I know I'm going to want a whole new wardrobe and I'm going to have to really hold myself to some basic pieces with a lot of forgiveness in the fabric. I don't want to be buying all new clothes every couple of months. And then, for the first time I'm feeling some regret about losing all this weight and then immediately getting pregnant. It's selfish, but I won't be able to enjoy my new smaller size before I'm all ballooned up again. I am looking forward to much cuter maternity clothes this time around - I keep checking out eBay - but it's not quite the same, you know?

I've just about decided to do the 14 thing, though. I was wearing a 22/24W and the first new clothes I bought were Misses 18 - they were a squeeze at first but not too bad, and they fit the whole rest of the school year and have taken me most of the way through the summer (they are finally getting too big, and I know I need new pants now). So if I go for 14s, I imagine at my smallest I'll still be a 12 and that's not too different, so the clothes could probably last me a while. Then in the early months of pregnancy, they'll get to where they're snug again and then I'll be buying maternity wear I guess.

It seems like that's the way to go. Not fun, but not wasteful, either - and on the other side of this adventure, I'll need the 14s while I'm holding on to some baby weight, right?

Clothes are just fun, now. And I could get in lots of financial trouble here. We're not even talking about shoes and jewelry yet. So I guess I need to shift my newfound control from how I eat, and apply it to how I want to spend money.

So - 31 pounds till baby-goal. I'll find out next week (I have appointments with doctors for almost every part of the body on Friday) what the feeling is about continuing MF until I have a confirmed pregnancy - if it takes a few months to conceive, I may even reach goal after all. THAT I'm pretty excited about. I'm more than halfway there so that must mean it's downhill from here, right? I hope I hope I hope.

[queenielou]

Congratulations, Nickie, on a great week! Can't wait to join you in onederland



I think you'll be in and out of 14s pretty quickly at this rate so maybe you should budget for some 12s early in the fall.

[nickieluv]

When I weighed 145 before - 12-odd years ago - I was wearing 12s and occasionally a 10. Not sure what'll happen now since sizes are so obviously different - or else my body shape is very different, that could be too. I guess I just won't buy much at a time - maybe a few pieces every 10 pounds or so. I'll be saving a spot for you here in onederland, Queenie.

[Mike]

Awesome Nickie. Congrats.

[nickieluv]

Thanks, Mike. Takes some people longer than others but I'm on a mission now!

I forgot to add a little NSV today. It's something I noticed earlier this summer but it really was neat today to notice it again.

Last year, when I would fold a towel around me after swimming, I could just barely tuck it around my chest and there was a huge gaping flap just underneath my waist. I could never find a towel big enough to actually wrap around me. Today when I got out of the pool I wrapped the towel and not only did it close - there were probably about 4-5 inches of overlap around my hips. I've noticed the same thing with my bath towels, too. Funny, I always thought they made towels too small - guess I was just too big and in major denial (you're shocked, right?).

[bikipatra]

Nice NSV. I had a similar one in the hospital with the gowns. They made me wear them in the ER. You know how you have to put two on? One backwards, one forewards? I didn't almost flash people walking around. They actually wrapped around me and tied very securely!

[holberry]

can I jump in here? How about at the hair salon, the black numbers they have you wear. I never could tie mine. Now I can

[bikipatra]

can I jump in here? How about at the hair salon, the black numbers they have you wear. I never could tie mine. Now I can

I had forgotten that one! But I experienced that one too!

[nickieluv]

What I remember from hair salons is thinking I wanted my hair a certain way, but then realizing I wanted to look like that person in the picture, and no haircut was going to make me look thin.

Down more than a pound today - very close to the next club. I am so excited about this. I feel like compliance is really making things happen! (duh) A hard lesson to learn for some reason.

I am thinking about food some - more than I have been - foods I shouldn't have. But I'll make it. This is going so well, even with my bit of a stall week before last. I thought I was doing awful, but then to see that I've lost over 14# since being compliant - it's a lot of weight. It's hard to think of it as a lot when you started with almost ten times that much to lose, but I am really filled with hope that I will make it to goal in record time! That's my current goal of 165 I mean - only 29.9# to go to get there after what I weighed this morning. That's a little over 60 days at the rate I'm going.

I know - don't put a time line on it. But I can't help it. I'm not going to get discouraged (not enough to blow it, anyway) if I don't make it in that amount of time. 164 will get me to the 100# club, so I should probably move my goal to that, since I very badly want to have lost that much. It's such a huge number, and seemed so daunting at first, and also I'd convinced myself I wasn't THAT fat - but now - I don't know, I just love MF!

OK, so I'm going to change my ticker goal to 164, even though it's not a nice round number like 165, and plan to get there by the end of the 100-day challenge (or really, really close would be nice).

Then again, maybe I'm still on a high from continuing to lose when usually I gain on Monday and Tuesday before starting to lose again. I can't see into the future but the present is a lot more fun lately.

[nickieluv]

OK, twice today I've been doing something and just started thinking how hungry I was, and maybe I should have a snack today - and both times it's been time for a supplement and I just didn't realize it. So no snacks - time for my last meal today and I think I might be in the mood for stew, since I've felt a little extra hungry today despite all the water. Oh, and more water while I'm at it!

Maybe I should go to bed but I'm going to watch a movie I rented that my husband has no interest in, then go to bed. It was so nice not having to leave the house today - my piano lessons all come to me, so I had to be clean, but not running around. Tomorrow I have church work but only until 2, and then nothing at night - no show, no rehearsal, no nothing. It will be my first 'normal' week all summer.

Also, the church said my last day as secretary can be Thursday next week - although if they haven't found anyone, I'll feel obligated to keep going until they do. But that leaves me only two weeks to get into my classroom as it is - and I have no idea what I'll find there when I do go in, since I had to switch rooms and all my things could be God knows where instead of where I wanted them. Not to mention I don't have my schedule yet, and the last time I talked to my principal she said she was thinking of changing the whole thing - how often I see the kids, and for how long, and how many of them at a time - so all my lesson plans from last year may be completely useless. I mean, I do new ones every year anyway, but still, the idea of not even being able to have a bad day and pull out an old lesson once in a while - ugh.

I still haven't done a thing about organizing the church music files - I don't know when that's going to happen. Things always take me longer than I think they're going to, so if I think it'll take a day or two, it'll take a week. And the files are too far away from the office for me to hear the phone, or to take the cordless - so I can't do anything with it while working. I don't know - it's not the end of the world if it doesn't get done - I can always go in and work on Christmas break when my husband and I each get 10 days off. So I guess I won't stress about that one - but I really wanted it off my shoulders before fall. We'll see what happens.

I just spent about an hour browsing online and ordering some pants and skirts for work - size 14. All on clearance - and I ordered some dark brown leather pants. Yeah, I know - I'll probably be sending them back - but it's something I've always been curious about - leather pants. And two of the skirts I ordered were knee-length - always before I've done ankle-length. I'll have to see if I can move around in them - I do lots of dancing and playing on the floor with the little kids - but at the very least they can be used for church.

I figured online was the place to go for pants and skirts, so I can get things that are somewhat unique and different from what I can find in Wal-mart. And Wal-mart itself is a fine place for sweaters and tops - and that way, I can get new ones fairly often if need be. I don't know what I'm going to do with all my 18s and XLs as I outgrow them - my mom and sister took all my women's sizes but these won't fit them, and I don't think I know anybody else that size. Not exactly something you come right out and ask a person, you know? Although my mom MIGHT be doing MF - she has seen from me that it works, and she's always been a good dieter (horrible maintainer), and her doctor wants her to lose some weight. So she says after she moves and gets the new house set up, she might try it for a couple of months.

I don't know what it is with people - everyone thinks MF is too expensive, or too restrictive, or not enough variety - my stars, people, if it works, who the hell cares? I suppose they are just afraid to try something else in case it doesn't work - I remember feeling that way, too. But it seems like it'd be different if someone you KNEW had success - someone you KNOW has struggled with their weight all their life. I'd love to help someone else succeed but no one is ever willing to take the plunge.

Oh, well. What is meant to be will be. Time for me to have some stew and some water and watch a little light movie. It's probably going to make me cry - it's "Freedom Writers" and all those inspirational school-flicks get me weepy - even though they're usually all Hollywooded-up and not even close to reality anymore. Teachers do care but we are not independently wealthy miracle-workers - we have to follow the school rules and work within our budgets, even given the HUGE tax deduction you get for 'educator expenses.' Ha. I'm not really bitter, just tired. I guess I still have ill feelings stored up from my last job. Even though I love where I am now. My husband said today that he sees a big difference this year. I don't want to go to work and leave the baby, but I'm not getting all uptight about it and dreading it like I used to when I worked with - (shudder) - middle school kids. All you MS educators out there, I salute you! It's probably the hardest job there is with kids.

OK, I said I was going - I'm probably going to get that spammer message. What I don't get is why you only get it if it takes you forever to type your message. Wouldn't automatic spamming measures happen really quickly?

[Joy]

Welcome to Onderland!

sfjoy