What to say, what to say?
I wanted animal crackers slathered in peanut butter today in the worst way. We had the cookies, but not the PB - just as well. I don't want to cheat, it's just the last time I cheated I had that a couple of times and it was good. Might sound gross, but I loved it. Funny, and there was no chocolate involved - that's not like me. My tastes must be changing.
I'm not speaking to my scale until it shapes up.
2.5 pounds to onederland. Yes, it could happen this week - but I've been thinking that for three weeks now, ever since I started being compliant. I talk a good game but inside I'm always thinking about hitting that goal every week. Again, though, I saw my ticker as I was reading an old post and was amazed at the number of days I've been compliant. That really is something to be proud of for me. I've gone longer, but not in this structured way, just trying to see how far I could get.
I will continue to do what I'm doing - I feel good and that's something. Actually, that's not exactly true. Physically I feel good - but every morning that I'm stuck, I look flabbier and flabbier to myself in the mirror. That 'what's the point' attitude threatens. But the thing is, I know me - and even if I woke up tomorrow in onederland, that attitude would still be threatening. I'm going to have to be very vigilant this week, being home alone all night long. Might need to go to bed at the same time as the baby every night to keep myself from munching. Extra rest might not be such a bad thing anyway, I've been running myself a bit thin lately with all these rehearsals (the show is over!!!!!!).
And I'm already thinking of the next project that needs to be done at church. I've already got all the music chosen for the entire 2007-2008 church year, every week, every service - all set until September of 2008. So now I want to get through the filing cabinets and see what's really in there, organize the mess from the last two years of just putting things wherever they end up, and get an inventory made in Excel, as well as making one 'conductor's folder' with a single copy of every single piece for perusal. It's a big job but with the pastor gone now, I'm going to have lots of time during office hours to get that done. And if I can finish that in a few weeks, I will feel so light and wonderful to have the church aspect of my life all cleaned up and planned out. Then it's on to school and getting that part of my life in tip-top shape for September.
There's lots to do but I'm just thinking right now of how I will feel in October - church all set, school all set and rolling, back in the swing of things, and then finishing the 100-day challenge - I feel 20 pounds lighter just thinking of having all that off my shoulders, being free, moving forward in the debt situation and getting that cleared up - so many things falling into place in that month!
Oh, and Biki - I've been looking at my toes way more than is normal. I think pedicures are going to have be a semi-regular occurrence from now on. You wouldn't think it could happen, but I feel sexier whenever I look down at my toes. Silly, huh? But there you have it.
Well, I'm up almost an hour later than I meant to be. Time to sign off and get some rest. As worried as I am about being alone tomorrow night, I'm also thrilled at the prospect of not having to go anywhere for the first time in four weeks. I'll be husband-less but not project-less. I already feel tired, so I'll have to be sure my meals are all on time and I'm getting quality time with the baby so I won't feel hungry or lonely - and as for angry - well, I think being done with the show will help that, since I'm not so stressed any more.
I said I was going - typical me.