The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Mike]

Tomorrow my monthly order will be here with bookoo RTDs so I can finally stop rationing the darn things. I'm up to 4 cases per order now - I love 'em! I couldn't dream of taking THOSE away from myself.

At any rate, I'm not compliant but I still haven't broken down and ordered in or had Goldfish. It is a small victory.

I hear ya Nickie...... we order 3 cases chocolate and 1 vanilla each month. I do 2-3 RTD's a day, an oatmeal or eggs, hot cocoa and a bar and I'm set.

Glad the Goldfish are nowhere to be found. Perhaps white cheddar soy crisps would be a better thing for you.

[nickieluv]

Well whatever it was, it's gone. I am not hungry now, and it's about when I would normally be having a supplement before bed. I feel that maybe I should have a salad or veggies since I didn't earlier, but I think I'm going to leave that binge well enough alone. Might as well admit, it was a binge. I just wanted to eat and eat. It is progress that I made better choices, but binging on cookies is the same as binging on celery - you might do less physical damage with the celery, but giving in to binging on anything does not help heal the emotional issues that caused it.

I think I'm just still stressed. Yes things are slowing down, but there are still two performances coming up and until they are in my past, I will still have this shadow hanging over me. I am actually not worried about my piano students' recital anymore - they have all finally got their pieces ready to go and it's still two weeks away, so I think they are in good shape. But that still leaves the Kindergarten and 2nd grade performances. I do think they will go well, but still, it's a stressor. What if I forget something? What if the kids choke? What if everyone hates it? The answer, of course, is that the show will go on, life will go on, we will all adjust, and in a year no one will remember what did or did not happen on that night. I know that in my head, but my heart takes everything too seriously.

I am kind of killing time here - I'm burning CDs for the cast of the musical I'm working on, and I have two more to go. There are no more new posts for me to read, I have no pressing questions to start my own post - so here I am. Decidedly not hungry but very tired. As soon as these CDs are done I'm going to grab myself a diet soda (I only allow myself to have one after I've gotten in my 100oz of pure water for the day) and go upstairs to read a couple of chapters before going to sleep.

I just thought I wouldn't weigh in tomorrow, but who am I kidding? I need to know what that stupid number is, and I've even started weighing multiple times a day. I can't give it up entirely, but I CAN control myself enough to only weigh once, in the morning. I will NOT weigh myself tonight before bed. I will not weigh myself in the middle of the day every time I go to the bathroom. Once a day. I will exert some modicum of control over that piece of whatever-it-is - plastic, metal, whatever.

OK, we're onto the last CD. Good night, John Boy.

[nickieluv]

I did manage not to weigh myself last night, but it was a close call, especially since I showered at night and I always step on the scale before and after my shower. I'm going to stop that, too - just step on before from now on.

So, either today's weight was a fluke or yesterday's weight was a fluke, because I'm back down below ticker today. Yet, I feel frumpy and fat today. Not sure why - again, my pants fit better than they used to, I'm wearing a sweater that I kept even when it was way too small and now it fits well - everything matches and I'm presentable - but I just feel off.

I would like a day off but it's silly to take one at this time of year. As far as I know there is nothing planned for the weekend, except what we might choose to do for my husband's birthday - and he's going to be out golfing Saturday morning so I'll have the baby and the house all to myself, so that will be nice. Maybe I can get the kitchen cleaned up, and the baby's toys.

I think all my talk about wanting to have an end in sight wasn't really about MF at all, but more about the hectic pace of my life. I just keep adding more and more things to it, and they seem very necessary because they bring in extra money, but I feel pulled in all directions. I'm getting this summer church secretarial position, and already trying to find a way to make it permanent because it's another $400 a month that we could really use. But then I wonder how on earth I will do that, plus my normal church music job, piano lessons, side business and teach full time.

Someone in the church leadership said on Sunday that with our pastor retiring, the Presbytery may decide not to send us another one and instead close the church, because we are having such trouble making ends meet. Part of me would be relieved at that, but I also don't know how we would pay our bills without that money. There don't tend to be a lot of church jobs available because when someone gets one, they keep it for life practically. Spiritually I have not been happy with our church for some time, and neither has my husband, and we would welcome the chance to 'shop around' some more and find another church home.

I just have never liked having things up in the air. I want dates, times, places, agendas. And at the moment, what I really want is a break. Well, one more week. A week from today is the day of the 2nd grade show, and that's the big one I worry about. For better or for worse it will all be over in 8 days, and I imagine on Friday the 15th I will wake up feeling like a new woman. So there's something to look forward to.

Well, I may be on once more today but for the most part I am booked solid today, so my random thoughts will have to keep swimming in my head instead of being poured out here. Perhaps not a bad thing, you never know.

[nickieluv]

Okay, I had something for dinner that I thought was legal based on reading around here, but it tasted so good that maybe it wasn't.

I had ground beef with taco seasoning and melted cheese, measured out 5 ounces, and used romaine leaves as the taco shells. But again, it tasted too good, so I'm thinking something was wrong with it. We'll find out this week, I guess.

My new order came today - and I don't like the diabetic PB bars. But I'm just going to keep them and eat them because it will be OK to have something different. Not ordering them again, though - mostly I only got them because they were on sale this month. I hope the S'mores bars are yummy or I'm going to be sorely missing my chocolate mint this month.

[Mike]

I had ground beef with taco seasoning and melted cheese, measured out 5 ounces, and used romaine leaves as the taco shells.

My new order came today - and I don't like the diabetic PB bars.

Umm, 5 oz ground beef would be the lean without the cheese. The cheese would put the protein over (I'm sure it wasn't much cheese though - right?).

As for the Diab PB bars.... I enjoy them much more than the regular PB bars... I think they have more of a PB taste (although its not as good as regular PB).

[nickieluv]

Yeah, I guess I was hoping for Reese's taste with the PB bars - as far as diet bars go it tasted OK. And it IS good to have some variety.

As for dinner - my husband melted the cheese into the meat before it was measured out - but it wasn't much cheese to begin with. He cooked over a pound of meat and melted in about 1 1/2 cups of cheese. It sort of just made the meat gooey.

But I am thinking that while I shouldn't have it every day, it was OK, because I lost 2 pounds overnight! Hope it sticks!

[bikipatra]

Congrats on the weight loss! 2 pounds is awesome!!! Maybe I should have some cheese like at Burger King or something to get my scale moving....

[nickieluv]

Funny, Biki. I did think of that this morning, though - that maybe there was more fat or something in my meal and you know Pashta always swore by that BK thing....

Now I'm spending all day afraid of weighing in tomorrow and Sunday, because I very often see a nice loss and then am back up the next day or two for some reason. I really do hate my scale. But I can't break away.

I'm just going to be my semi-usual compliant self today and drink all my water like a good girl and hopefully I will at least weigh the same tomorrow. Hey - maybe we're drinking so much water, Biki, that the moon is have a tidal pull effect on our bodies and making us weigh more? Is it a full moon or something?

[SuzyQ66]

I was thinking of making myself a taco salad tonight - but without the cheese. I have not had that yet but between you and Lizabette posting something about a taco salad - it just sounds too good to pass up.

Biki - no Burger King...bad...bad...bad....LOL!! I know you would never do it anyways...

[Mike]

Great news on the 2 lbs Nickie.
I bet the taco meat tasted yummy. Sounds like you did okay with all of that.
Hope the last few days go well for you at school/work. Hope the church secretary position works out for you also, I know you can do it
We have 4 half days (one being 8th promotion - so I have an easy day that day). Can't wait for summer.

BTW, Di and I are thinking of a trip to NY, we have 4 folks to visit (1 being you), so maybe sometime this summer - if we can get it together by then).

[bikipatra]

Biki - no Burger King...bad...bad...bad....LOL!! I know you would never do it anyways...

I hope it was very obviously a joke.

[nickieluv]

Well, I think I'm all caught up on the action around here - I didn't get on once yesterday. I cleaned/sorted/tossed/organized/straightened the ENTIRE house yesterday and it felt really nice this morning to come downstairs to cleanliness. I also paid bills yesterday and was able to do more than I thought, which is always nice. I get my big summer check in two weeks and with that we are going to do a clean sweep and get everything current - which will probably wipe out my whole check, hence needing the church job. But summer is only 10 weeks and I'm sure we will make it through, and the good news is that next fall we won't be starting things off in the hole, which should make all of next year more productive.

I don't want to say anything until I find out how taxing this second church job is, but I don't think I will continue it into the fall. It will be a nice summer job but I am already stressing about how I will do so much - so I'm just not going to do it. I only signed on for July and August, so I'm not letting the church down. I just kept thinking of having office hours every night after work, seeing my daughter even less, or having office hours only on Saturday and then having NO days off in a week, EVER - and it's not how I want to live my life for a few hundred dollars more a month. My side business is starting to get on a roll again, so I'm just going to focus on keeping that more active and let that be my extra income, since I can set my own schedule for that one. I was thinking I had to do it, because if they'd let me keep the job long-term it would be great while on maternity leave - but you know what? If it's meant to be, then God will make the job available again when I am on leave. I don't have to kill myself trying to hang on to it. Or He will have some other solution that will become apparent later. I don't have to micromanage and plot out every detail all the time - I drive myself crazy!

Oh yes, and I lost 4.5 pounds this week - VERY excited about that. In order to "earn" my weekend away in two weeks I am supposed to be under 205, and I was in doubt of that happening. But now I've got a chance again, though a slim one. Just stay compliant, kiddo, make it through this week without giving in to stress eating, you can do it!

Well, it's time to have breakfast now, and I want to spend some time with the baby before church - I hope everyone has a great day and sees great losses!

[holberry]

way to go Nickie, 4.5.
super. have a great week.
hb

[MerryMary]

<img src="http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u215/krross2001/congratulations.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">50# Club .... WOO HOO!!! You are workin' this program!!

[bikipatra]

Congrats on a great week, Nicks!