The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Thanks Katie and Mary - obviously you two are no slouches either, look at your own weight loss! Not as many bumps in the road as me, I bet.

Well, my baby is gone and I'm alone this morning. This is the first day of my husband switching to day shift, which means I have to get myself and the baby ready in the mornings now. The baby decided to wake up at quarter to six today - usually she sleeps till 7:30. There went my nice lazy morning. But I wound up really glad it happened that way, because my sister came to pick her up at only 7:20. It would have been so much worse to have to wake her up and ship her out the door right away. We've had to do that - ONCE - and once was enough, my husband and I were both broken-hearted.

I am wondering how things will change with this new routine, for the next 8 weeks. Mornings will be quieter, I can tell that much already. My husband will be home for a couple of hours in the evening before he goes to his own musical rehearsals (the reason for his schedule switch), and he should be home around 10 at night, give or take 30 minutes. It will be nice to go to sleep together again. I do miss that. And we'll be able most nights to have a family dinner, which will be a nice change. Of course in my usual pessimistic fashion I'm wondering how it will be at the end of 8 weeks when he goes back to nights. Can't just enjoy it while it lasts, have to look to the end. There's a parallel with my weight loss, too - big or small, loss or gain, I'm not really in the moment with it and I'm always looking to the next club or the next mini-goal or whatever.

I also feel that despite our conversation this weekend, he is going to expect me to do more around the house because now he is adding something else to his schedule and won't have much time at all to be home and get anything done. I don't have rehearsal tonight, although I do have piano lessons for two hours, but maybe I can clean up the downstairs tonight while he's gone, after the baby is asleep. I know he would appreciate it. And if I'm going to be alone like this most mornings, I could probably get some things straightened up then, too, instead of coming on here. But this is important, too. Not so much that I come here, but that I'm not AVOIDING coming here. I've been off and on all week but still compliant (minus the fishies episode but I got right back on track after that for a change), and I think it's because when I'm not here, it really is because I'm busy and ONLY because I'm busy. It's not also because I want to go it alone or something.

Well, I need to get to work early for a meeting today. I hope everyone is well and wonderful.

[MerryMary]

Of course in my usual pessimistic fashion I'm wondering how it will be at the end of 8 weeks when he goes back to nights. Can't just enjoy it while it lasts, have to look to the end. There's a parallel with my weight loss, too - big or small, loss or gain, I'm not really in the moment with it and I'm always looking to the next club or the next mini-goal or whatever.

Hi Nickie ...
When you spoke about not being able to live "in the moment" you reminded me so much of myself about 10 years ago. It was a time when I was discerning what direction the rest of my life would take--would I reesablish my accounting practice or would I follow my call to ministry. I worried about many things ... was I too old to return to college? What would formation be like? Being a woman, what struggles would I encounter? A very dear friend suggested that I was stressing so much about the "what ifs" of the future I was not enjoying the present!

Later, I found this verse that I've kept handy for times when I begin to drift back into the "what ifs" of my life ... thought I'd share it with you. I hope you like it

Your life is a sacred journey. And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.~~Caroline Adams

[Tawanda]

Nickie, just popping in to say 'hi'. You are often on my mind.

[nickieluv]

Thanks, Tawanda, it's nice to know I'm thought of. Silly maybe, but I felt secure knowing you are thinking about me.

Mary, the same goes for you! I always appreciate your perspective. "Living in the moment" is a phrase that sometimes doesn't have a lot of meaning for me, because I say it so much and do it so seldom. But I see that I really need to SLOW DOWN and enjoy what I have. I may be busy as can be, but there are moments in each day that I can relax - if there weren't, I'd be off a cliff by now. I want to try to relish those moments - a quiet snuggle on the couch with my husband, the peace of my daughter's bedtime ritual, the taste and texture of a really good cut of meat (it's not a sin to enjoy food, I think, it's a sin to make it too important), an adult conversation, physical activity on the golf course or working outside.

I really noticed this weekend how much more active I can be now that I've lost some weight. 50 pounds ago I would have been so sore, so tired, barely able to move today after all the work and play that went on for the last four days. In fact, I never would have done half of it in the first place. I may never be a big exercise person, but I believe I'm going to become an ever more ACTIVE person as the months go by on this plan. I walked everywhere, when before I would have taken the car even less than a mile. I was able to keep up and go to all those picnics and events without burning out physically (mentally is another matter). I'm starting to see how life can be when you're taking care of yourself.

I have four weeks until my surprise romantic weekend that my husband is planning for us. My goal is to be under 205 by then. I had originally hoped for onederland but I've gotten blown off course by fishies one too many times for that to be realistic anymore. But really, no matter what I weigh on that particular weekend, I know that I'm in better shape and that I'm on the right track for me.

I am a capable person. Things will get done, I will do them, and I don't have to fret, worry, and agonize over every detail all day long. Slow down, I tell myself, even if it's only one big, deep breath.

Well, off to piano lessons now. Thank you all for being here, whether you post or just read. You are needed and appreciated.

[SuzyQ66]

Nickie - Look at how much weight you have lost so far...that is so fantastic. You are doing a great job. Everything you are going through is part of your journey. It will all come together and as you work these things out you will get closer and closer to your goal.

[nickieluv]

Just a little bitty 'yay me' moment.

I brought a bar upstairs to have while I was working on some business stuff. It would have been my second of the day - convenience factor again. But I got busier than I expected and did not eat it - had an RTD instead when I got back downstairs.

Good news - no second bar today. Bad news - last supplement wound up 4.5 hours from the previous one. I'll get there!

[ChynnaDoll]

WOW, Nickie!!!...50 pounds gone:+)...that is totally AWESOME girl! Keep on trucking...you'll be at goal before you know'it:+)

Boy, a romantic surprise weekend coming soon..what a sweet husband you have:+)))

I love the bars too Nickie, and just discovered the Chocolate Mint ones...OMG they are sooooo good! That's all i'll order from now on...lol! It is very tempting to have more than one in a day..i'm feelin'ya girl, but glad you didn't:+)

Chynna

[Diana]

Hey, Beautiful!!

You're doing so well, Nickie, I could just hug your neck and squeal with joy! I can't wait to hear about the romantic mystery trip. Mike plans those once in a while (used to be for our anniversary), and it makes me feel so loved and cherished.

Go get 'em, girl!!

[Tawanda]

Good for you Nickie on walking away from the second bar (made me think of a skit--- "Step away from the Medifast bar.......", okay so not funny in writing but it was good in my mind........ ).

RTDs nothing could be simpler than those, too bad they aren't in a bar shape.....I'd be a happy camper! Stash those RTDs all over your house, in your purse, at school.......have them handy so that it is easy to have your supplements (note to self---'take your own advice and tuck one in your purse today').

Hope you have a great day and keep your eye on your goal!

[nickieluv]

I feel that I am looking smaller today. Fewer rolls that I can see, too.

I'm still feeling busy but with the school stuff we are rapidly approaching the "you've done all you can now just ride it out" stage of the performances coming up - so I'm actually feeling less stress at the moment. We are starting the full grade level rehearsals this week, and I just looked at my calendar and realized that I need to start reviewing with the first graders the week of the 11th, because I won't see most of them for the official last week of school. So it really is almost over.

I can't believe how fast the year went by. And I'm really grateful that because of MF (and my own gumption of course) I am almost 50 pounds lighter now than I was at Christmas time. I have to remember this. Another 50 pounds could be gone by Christmas, or more, if I stick with it and don't get caught up in my own head so much.

I feel that I am approaching actually looking like the picture I've had in my head for so many years. Which is both good and bad, because now I don't know what I'm supposed to look like at goal. See, when I was thin I saw myself as fat, and at my highest weight I never really saw myself as more than a size 18 (which I now am again). So now the outside matches my mental image. But I'm not sure how to create a new mental image of a thinner body - this is just me, as I've always known me. But I want to lose more weight, and I'm afraid that without a mental image to guide me I won't be able to stay focused on the goal.

Sheesh, wasn't I just saying I needed to stay out of my own head so much? Well, I have to run and get rid of the 33.8 oz of water I've already drunk this morning - too much too fast!!!

[bikipatra]

Stop thinking. If you follow the program, your expectations may be exceeded. I bet they are! It's a wonderful mystery and I think quite exciting.

[holberry]

Nikie,
You have some awesome energy coming through here.
Just think how different you would feel with those nasty 50lbs hanging on you... you are doing well, keep remembering that.
breath
hb

[nickieluv]

Stop thinking. If you follow the program, your expectations may be exceeded. I bet they are! It's a wonderful mystery and I think quite exciting.

Well, that's a nice way to look at it that I hadn't considered. I was so worried about what I would look like, that I didn't see it as an exciting mystery, but as a foreboding one. So it's like I'm unwrapping myself - I'm my own gift, right?

Part of it is that I feel so good, so much better than before, that I wonder if I can actually feel even better than this. Back when I was thin, in college, I was also miserably unhealthy - I would not eat for several days, then shovel in as much food as I could for one meal, then start again. And the food I did eat was junk - tons of soda, nachos, burgers, just garbage. No to mention all the alcohol. So I sort of remember being thin as being hungry all the time and throwing up blood. Yeah, lovely, I know. I think if you put that girl next to me, I would definitely be the happier and healthier one. So I try to remind myself that being thin does not mean being that person. I had to go through this whole thing with the 'will thin-me cheat on my husband' issue I had a while back.

But the idea that I could be so happy is kind of scary. That I could have a beautiful family, a comfortable lifestyle, friends, a safe home, a good job, AND be thin? Won't that be pushing my luck? And then again, right now I think my weight is the only negative in my life - what if there's some deep-seated negative hanging in the background yet to be uncovered? I've just always been a lucky person in so many ways, so blessed, way more than I deserve - so I feel like losing weight will put my life dangerously close to perfect, and that doesn't seem fair.

Anyway, these things flit across my mind, but I'm not spending any more time on them today. I have work to do and it's a nice day and I should just enjoy the fact that I am so blessed and not be waiting for the other shoe to drop. I will try (in vain, I'm sure) not to get online again today. I think I went through withdrawals having so much to do lately - I've been on more today I think than all last week!

[bikipatra]

Nicks, I would spend all the time online I needed. I am always happy to read your posts although I do go and get a glass of water first.

[Mavesse]

Nickie,

Please keep telling us that school is almost over, because for me, the past six weeks have been some of the longest of my life! This is only my second year teaching. Last year, I laughed my way through it, thanking God every day that I decided to switch careers. This year, not so much

I am just in awe of the idea of your losing 50 pounds since Christmas. And I'm so glad to hear how wonderful you're feeling!

Mavesse