The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

It's that time of month again - the time when I look in the cupboard and can't find anything I want and I whine 'when is my next order going to get here?' Thankfully I've got a trade going on and my new order will be in before the weekend if all goes well, too. It's funny, I really liked the minestrone once upon a time (last time around it was my favorite, but they didn't have beef stew then) and now I can't even imagine eating it. My order is really boring this month - I'm only getting like 5 different things. I really miss my RTDs - I've only been out since Friday but man, they are handy! Probably going up to 3 cases of them is too much, but maybe not - I just hope it's not a problem to have so many of them in one day.

I am not having a second bar today, I did well on water, and I have to eat one more time before bed and I'm thinking stew. It should not be hard to have only one bar a day - and really, it's not - but since I allowed myself to have a 2nd one a few times after my last cheat to keep me going, now I have one sometimes even when I don't need it because I have that mental permission to do so. But I am really proud of myself for seeing last night for what it was and trying right away to get control.

In general I feel more confident that I can make it to goal. That comes and goes, though. But while it's here, I'm glad to feel it. Now, I'm going to go make that yummy stew and watch Desperate Housewives and go to bed.

[Serendipity]

Good for you nickie! Sweet dreams.

[nickieluv]

I'm feeling a little amazed at myself lately - in a good way. I keep seeing my ticker and I cannot believe I'm almost out of the 220s already. I have less than 23 pounds to go before I hit onederland - already! Sometimes I get discouraged (especially about three weeks ago) and I feel like I'm losing so slowly - and then I see that ticker and think about where I started and it's pretty great.

I have been on the plan a little over 4 months (3 months if you don't count January, when I cheated almost every day) and I've lost over 40 pounds. Even in this last month with a lot of cheats I still managed to lose 9 pounds. And as I look ahead I think I might still make onederland before school gets out, with compliance and luck. I would have to lose 2-3 pounds a week to meet that goal - that is SO possible on this plan!!

Reading Tawanda's journal today reminded me to be grateful for everyone here, and even for the existence of MF. I know that a lot of things had to align for me to be able to have success, and I'm glad that it all came together. And is still coming together and being refined as I continue on.

I forgot about my resolution to find something to be grateful for every day in terms of the weight loss. Today I have 2 already. My administrator said something about my loss today - she had GB several years ago, not that it matters. And I was doing a clapping move with one of my 2nd grades this morning and whereas before (we're talking last week even) my stomach was getting in the way, today I noticed it wasn't. Over the weekend I noticed that when sitting, my breasts are not hanging down and touching my body anymore - there is air getting under them now! I have to be wearing a bra for this phenomenon to happen, but before even when I was standing they were resting on a shelf of fat there. I think the last ten pounds came off entirely in my arms because while still jiggly, they are getting so much better. And my horrible rolls on my back, while still in existence, are much much smaller.

Sometimes I wish I could, for a moment, experience my body as it felt before starting MF. I think I would be startled and almost unable to move myself around. Imagine if at goal you could have all the weight back for a brief moment whenever you felt tempted, to remind you of how awful it was.

I am really looking forward to the changes that are going to happen to my body. I was afraid before - now I welcome it. Sorry if this is icky, but in the shower I spend more time, feeling my legs and arms and body, learning what I feel like now. It's a different me already. I want to appreciate and love my body for what it is and what it does for me. Even now, still fat, I don't want to say 'I hate my legs' or anything like that. This poor body has been through enough - it deserves careful treatment. My wish is that when I get to goal, whatever that goal may be, and through however many pregnancies I am blessed with, I will love my body and not hide from the stretch marks and the loose skin and the sags. I want to be comfortable in my skin and feel connected to myself instead of at war with myself.

Well, I'll probably read this later and wonder what I was smoking. For now - kids to teach.

[Pashta]

LOL! Nickie I think you should re-read that post later when you're feeling in the cheatin' mood or feeling down. That's a wonderful way to look at yourself so remember it's there when you do get to feeling that way.

[MerryMary]

Like Tonia said

And to quote the psalmist: I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. ~Psalm 139:14

Mary

[nickieluv]

Like Tonia said

And to quote the psalmist: I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. ~Psalm 139:14

Mary

Thanks Tonia and Mary - at least I didn't sound too crazy!

Mary, thanks for the verse. Our bodies are amazing, and an amazing testament to God. Mine has been abused and I have not been able to do what He has planned for me in the best way possible. I wonder how my life will change in that respect with the weightloss. Perhaps I will feel called to do more, be a better worship leader, go on mission trips. There are no accidents - maybe I'm being prepared for something on this weight loss journey. Even if it is simply to be a better mother to my (hopefully many) children, that's a worthy job. But it will be interesting to see what unfolds.

[KellyC]

I like not being hungry but on the other hand, it makes me spread out my supplements more during the day so that I'm eating too many of them at night too close together. I guess I need to get a watch with an alarm to remind me to eat on time.

I'm having a huge problem with this as well.. almost every day it's like all of a sudden I find myself at 7pm and still have to have my L&G and 2 MF's. I'm trying to fix this.. my cell phone holds up to 5 alarms.. so I eat w/in 30 mins of waking, then the set the phone to ring for the remaining daily meals.

It's helping some, though I am worried about causing a Pavlov's dog effect!

[DonicaB]

Nickie~ It's amazing how God puts things in front of us that we need to hear. Even though I've been on cloud nine lately and feeling so good, I have been saying how much I hate my legs and even making fun of myself for having thunder thighs. I feel so guilty after reading your post.

I need to learn to be more grateful for the things God has given me. I need to learn to stop comparing myself to others and just be thankful for who I am.

Thank you for your words, Nickie.

Donica

[Pashta]

My hunger was gone for a while but since I started exercising it seems to be back fairly often. It's pretty uncomfortable.

[bikipatra]

My hunger was gone for a while but since I started exercising it seems to be back fairly often. It's pretty uncomfortable.

I am hungry one or two days a week and it annoys me too. I am sometimes hungry when I wake up, especially if I did a 6-0, but I am not counting that. I mean when I am checking the clock every few minutes to see when I can have my next supplement. I hate it! The best thing about this diet is NOT being hungry. The days I am NOT hungry have been when I have stayed home and had something to drink (water/decaf tea) at all times and been smoking regularly. (Sorry, bad answer!)

[nickieluv]

Nickie~ It's amazing how God puts things in front of us that we need to hear. Even though I've been on cloud nine lately and feeling so good, I have been saying how much I hate my legs and even making fun of myself for having thunder thighs. I feel so guilty after reading your post.

I need to learn to be more grateful for the things God has given me. I need to learn to stop comparing myself to others and just be thankful for who I am.

Thank you for your words, Nickie.

Donica

You're welcome, Donica. I can't tell you how many times I've read something here that I really needed to hear at that moment. I don't always listen and change, but I read it anyway and that's a start.

Now, Pashta, you jinxed me or something! I was hungry tonight again. But I think, to be fair to you, it was probably not your fault. Probably, I said.

After dinner (and I think this was mentioned recently?) seems to be when I get hungry, if I'm going to. Yesterday I didn't have time to feel hungry but tonight my L&G was my last meal of the day. I should be having another supplement probably because I ate kind of early and I'm up late. I can't quite do it. At first I was really proud of myself for not having a snack when I figured I wasn't really hungry because I just ate. But now I'm feeling bad for not having another supp because it's been almost 3 hours and my tummy is growling. So my solution is to not stay up any longer. Tomorrow is a new day (and Wednesday already, how did that happen? Yesterday dragged on forever, today work dragged on but once I got home the time flew - and before you know it Friday will be here. It occurs to me that since the weeks are going to fly by anyway, I may as well be compliant and have something to show for the passing of time).

No second bar today - I'm working on not doing that anymore. I still reserve the right to do it (so I can't rebel against myself for saying 'no') but I think with the RTDs I'll be able to resist. The RTDs are convenient and sweet, too, both of the things I love the bars for.

Maybe this weekend I'll try the cookie thing with the apple cinnamon oatmeal. Do you have to have all the ingredients for it to work? 'Cause if it takes more than a packet and water I'll have to go shopping.

[bikipatra]

Yesterday dragged on forever, today work dragged on but once I got home the time flew - and before you know it Friday will be here. It occurs to me that since the weeks are going to fly by anyway, I may as well be compliant and have something to show for the passing of time).

No second bar today - I'm working on not doing that anymore. I still reserve the right to do it (so I can't rebel against myself for saying 'no') but I think with the RTDs I'll be able to resist. The RTDs are convenient and sweet, too, both of the things I love the bars for.

.

Congrats on only one bar today. Just remember being compliant doesn't always mean that Santa will come and give us a pressie for the "passing of time." I have been the same weight for 4 days, and that is after gaining then losing 1.5 pounds. All while being compliant.(Before Joleen can get her cute socks in a knot, yes, I do remember I lost 5 pounds last week and Nickie over 4.) In the short term there are no guarantees. But I hope the pudge just rolls off you Nickie so you can feel even better doing your little strut on the catwalk.

[bikipatra]

I like not being hungry but on the other hand, it makes me spread out my supplements more during the day so that I'm eating too many of them at night too close together. I guess I need to get a watch with an alarm to remind me to eat on time.

I'm having a huge problem with this as well.. almost every day it's like all of a sudden I find myself at 7pm and still have to have my L&G and 2 MF's. I'm trying to fix this.. my cell phone holds up to 5 alarms.. so I eat w/in 30 mins of waking, then the set the phone to ring for the remaining daily meals.

It's helping some, though I am worried about causing a Pavlov's dog effect!

Get up at 4:30 every morning and I PROMISE you that you will have enough time to work in those supplemements!

[Pashta]

Oh I'm so sorry Nickie! I didn't mean to jinx you!

I could have eaten my own hand last night I was so hungry. lol.. instead though, I had a cup of green mint tea and a packet of splenda and more water.

I was curious as to if my 92 carbs yesterday knocked me out of ketosis but sure enough, there was a trace showing on the ketostick so that wasn't the case.

Thankfully I'm not hungry today! *crosses her fingers*

[nickieluv]

Just remember being compliant doesn't always mean that Santa will come and give us a pressie for the "passing of time."

Yeah, that's true in the short term, you're right. I'm shooting for making it from now to June 22nd (and beyond, of course, but that's my immediate goal). If I go 8 weeks compliant and lose nothing there will be terror in the streets! Of course, if I go 8 weeks compliant period there will be dancing in the streets. That'll kill my old record of 5 1/2 weeks.

This morning I got on the scale and saw the weight and said 'oh, man! Come ON!' But then I looked again and realized I had lost from yesterday. I'm just so focused on wanting to see a 21-.- number that the weight I saw seemed enormous. I'm only a teensy bit under ticker but I have to remember that it's only Wednesday, and I did have a 2nd bar on Sunday PLUS a snack and I gained the next day. So it may still happen by Sunday that I see a teen number.

I know I'm obsessing about the bar thing - but I really think it helped me to be less strict for several days. This is day 14 since my last cheat and it's been a relatively easy 2 weeks. I find myself much less tempted by off-plan foods. It's starting to feel natural to pass things up. I was looking at the treats in the faculty room today (I had to go in to get something from the printer) and there were cookies and fruit and crackers and cheese. And I thought that even if I were in maintenance, it wouldn't be so hard to choose the fruit over the cookies. If I had anything at all, that is. The thought of that juicy sweetness seemed much more appealing than the dry chocolatey taste of a cookie. Maybe it's the season and in winter I'll want the sweets. But anyway, it was a glimpse of a different future.

That said, and back to the original bar subject, I'm focusing on only having one a day. And possibly none if I don't want one. Can you imagine not wanting a bar? Well, some of you probably can, but I never could. Not bringing them to work has really helped. I am learning this week though that I need to make time to have oatmeal in the morning, because just having the tea and fruit punch all day is not satisfying me. I need something more substantial first thing in the morning if I'm not going to have a bar as my second supplement anymore. And I'm finding it handy to have my bar still available as a choice when I'm home, because I'm not always in the mood to nuke something or shake something up, but I'm more hungry than just an RTD can handle. I don't know why it took 4 months to come up with the idea in the first place.

I just did the math and goal by Christmas means losing 2.241 pounds per week between now and then. It's 34 weeks and I am only 76.2# from goal. I'm so much closer than I thought! Part of me does want to change my ticker right now to show my real goal. But I'll still wait and enjoy onederland for a week or so before I move it. I know I can get myself in trouble thinking too far ahead. But I really thought I was being ridiculous to hope for goal by Christmas still, after all the damage I've done and the time I've wasted by cheating. To know that it's still a realistic goal gives me so much hope! I really want to get all the way to goal before having another baby, but I also didn't want to wait forever. I can still do it by Christmas! That's HUGE!

OK, but I must remind myself that 'possible' doesn't mean it's a guarantee. I may have a big slow-down somewhere along the line. Right now that's all I can think of because I am NOT quitting and right now I can't imagine cheating. I'm too excited to cheat. But I have not yet endured the summer barbecues and outdoor parties that used to be a food-fest for me. Plan - to save bar for said parties and eat it slowly. Or - have a hamburger without the bun and always bring my own green-approved salad as the dish-to-pass. Or do both, if it's a very long afternoon.

Sheesh, can you tell I'm bored today or what? I just keep babbling on and making no sense. To sum up - I'm happy. I'm in a good place. I'm not cheating. I'm not even being 'reasonably compliant.' (Boy did Nancy chew me a new one on that today!) It's sunny and bright today. I am hopeful that I can learn to have a life without binges. On a day like today, nothing seems impossible. Except working.