The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Thanks for the encouragment, Biki! I'm sure my husband would love for me to be a teenager again - I was when we met, actually, so that's a little pervy too, eh? I have a feeling when I reach goal I'm going to be acting even more like a kid than I did then - in terms of having the kind of energy and desire to get out and do things that young people are supposed to have, and I never did, even at my smallest (when of course I still thought I was enormous).

Tawanda - as of today, that's exactly my plan with the bar. On my current schedule I only eat twice at home on days I work - one is my L&G, and one is a supplement right before bed. So it might not be ideal to have the bar then, but that's when I will save it for. It will give me something to 'fall back on' as it were in case of cravings. And some days, like last night, if I don't feel I need the bar, I just won't have one that day. This could be very helpful in curbing my sweet tooth, too, and being more responsible about that stuff when maintenance comes along. Maybe someday I'll be like Jo and Lizabette and turn down dessert because I WANT to, not because I think I should.

I also realized just after I submitted my last post - although I don't want to make it official until Sunday roll call - I'm in the 40# club with my weight today! And I got another comment at work today about my weight loss, even in the fatty pants. Sort of makes up for the sunshine being gone today, as far as my mood.

[MerryMary]

<img src="http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w153/maizak/yeehaaqg3.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">

and Congrats on the 40# club (unofficially )!

[bikipatra]

Congrats Nickie!!!

[nickieluv]

Well, I walked two laps - pretty sad, I was almost ready for 4 when I quit walking however many weeks ago. It was something anyway.

I complimented the member of our staff who did the gastric bypass thing last fall - she really looks like a totally different person and I haven't said anything since she first started losing. I figured she knew she was losing, she didn't need my input. See? I just don't think sometimes. I know how good it feels when someone says something and yet I was being silent. I'm really hoping it wasn't jealousy.... Anyway, she was very appreciative and said it's always nice to hear that. And she feels completely different and loves the change in her body.

It seems like she's lost so quickly - to look at her I'd think she's at a healthy weight right now, but I know if I was her size I'd think I needed to be a stick figure to be healthy. But it's something to consider. At goal, I may still be a size 12. Unless they've changed sizes since I last wore that size at my lowest weight. Maybe I could squeeze into a 10. But I hope when I get there, I can be honest about how I look and not feel that I need to keep going and going until I weigh too little. I think I should pick a number that's realistic, and then see how I look/feel at that number, and if anything pick up the exercise to get the rest of the way while starting to transition. I will never be a stick figure. I have curves. I have substance. I can have a flatter tummy maybe, smaller arms and legs - but I'm not going to be a supermodel.

I'm just not sure how realistic my mental picture of my thin self is. I guess I really just have to wait and see what she looks like as she's uncovered.

[holberry]

hip hip hooray for the 40's You go !
Tha's a lot of lbs, good for you!!
hb

[Pashta]

Sizes *have* changed recently. It's called "vanity sizing" hehe.

The 40# club, congrats!!

Me, I update my ticker whenever I see a loss. I don't update on the little gains cause I know by weigh-in they will be gone. If I ever did gain and it stayed I'd update it on weigh-in for sure!

[MerryMary]

At goal, I may still be a size 12. Unless they've changed sizes since I last wore that size at my lowest weight. Maybe I could squeeze into a 10. But I hope when I get there, I can be honest about how I look and not feel that I need to keep going and going until I weigh too little. I think I should pick a number that's realistic, and then see how I look/feel at that number, and if anything pick up the exercise to get the rest of the way while starting to transition. I will never be a stick figure. I have curves. I have substance. I can have a flatter tummy maybe, smaller arms and legs - but I'm not going to be a supermodel.

What is your ultimate goal, Nickie? I don't recall seeing it.

I've got my goal on my ticker and, like you, I'm not sure it will stick. I may drop it some when I get there but that will depend upon how I feel physically. By the time I'm 60 I hope I am where I need to be!

Mary

[nickieluv]

Thanks for all the congrats!

I've thought a lot about what my REAL goal will be. I initially had it at 145 I think, but it seemed too daunting so that's why I changed my ticker to only go to onederland. I think 145 is a good starting point. I was 142-ish at my lowest weight in college, but I was not toned or in good shape then - and of course I hadn't had a baby yet! So I think I'll say 145 to start, and see what happens. I definitely want to wait until onederland to change my ticker goal to 145, though. Then I'll have 65 pounds gone and 54 to go - more than halfway - and I know that will make it seem really doable.

Pashta - I had a feeling sizes had changed. No way was I in an 18 at 230 before. I remember being in a 16 at 180 when I got married. So maybe I will be a 10 - who knows? In a way it seems unfair - like cheating - like the sizes aren't 'real' or 'correct' somehow. On the other hand - I have a dress in a size 12 that I wore ages ago and it seems a lot bigger than the other 12s I have - so I'm just completely baffled by sizing!

I had too much protein today, but I don't know by how much. My husband made pork chops but they had bones, and I didn't know if he had accounted for that when he weighed it for me, and it didn't seem like much meat (I don't eat the fat - ick) so I also had the breakfast steak he made me yesterday. I didn't eat the fat on that either, but still I know it was too much to eat. I'm not worried though. I don't do this all the time (major cheats notwithstanding of course!) and I was hungry. Although if I'd waited I probably would have been OK. So I guess this was a binge because I was craving something salty so I put a ton of salt on the meat tonight and had too much - and I know I could have made a better choice. Still, if that's my binge, it's an improvement. Not perfect yet, though. No binges at all is the goal.

Baby is with Grandma tonight. It always sounds like a nice idea to have the house to myself - but I always miss her and am very lonely. I did not have two bars today, although I thought about it. I had stew for my last supp and I'm headed up to bed right after this. I watched 2 movies and had a piano lesson and basically had a lazy night. I have a little work to do before retiring for the evening though (I'm trying to keep the house clean every day instead of letting it get awful again) so I'm going to go. My NSV today - I crossed my arms while watching the movies, and they felt A LOT smaller. I kept crossing them over and over because it felt so weird - grabbing them above the elbow - arms akimbo I think they call it? - and feeling tendon and bone and not just squishy fat. They're still quite big (why do I always feel I have to negate a compliment by saying that!!! Seems to be a theme around here lately in journals) but it's a definite NSV. 'Night!

[Lizabette]

NICKI,
40# CLUB. WTG!!!!

[nickieluv]

Thanks Lizabette!

I am noticing something odd today - actually all week. I've been very short with the kids - I'm raising my voice a lot more than I usually do and I'm getting quickly frustrated when they are not paying attention. I know they need to learn how to act appropriately in school but usually I can calmly make corrections to their behavior and move on. I feel on edge.

I'm back on plan and feeling good about that. I'm actually getting a good amount of sleep each night and not staying up until all hours. The house is clean and neat and that makes me feel good. So I don't know yet what could be making me so cranky at work. Spring fever? After this week there are only 8 weeks left of school. Things are wrapping up, end-of-year celebrations are going to start, my days will be thrown off schedule. Am I just sick of being here and ready to be home for the summer?

Well, I have a class on the way so I need to go. Just thought I'd throw this out there and maybe see if anyone else - or any of the teachers on the board - have any ideas about this?

[DogMa]

No help from here, except that I'm hugely cranky today, too. I've barely spoken to my co-workers, and for no reason. So maybe it's something in the air.

[nickieluv]

Well I'm sort of glad to know it's not just me, although I'm sorry you're feeling this way too, Robin! Usually when I feel out of control it's about my food choices, but this week it's all emotional. I was aware of it for my last class though and I tried to do better. You know, maybe it's just my lesson plan. The kids are enjoying it, but it's partner and group work so it leads to more noise. They're doing well and getting the point, so I guess the noise level is just rubbing me the wrong way and I'll have to deal with it.

I'm happy to be seeing little losses every day on the scale - but in the back of my mind I'm waiting for it to end and the scale to creep back up again. I had two very slow weeks of less than a pound lost each time, and last week with my cheat I showed a gain (although during the week I gained ten pounds and lost 8 again), so this week to see the scale moving down almost every day is something I'm not used to anymore. I forgot how nice it is, and how much easier it makes it to be positive and stick to plan. And I'm dreading the end of this streak.

But there's no need for that behavior - I've proven that I can stay compliant even when I'm gaining, or losing slowly, and that the scale does not affect my day negatively most of the time when that happens. So I guess I'm just being emotional about this, too. And I'm impatient for weigh-in, to make the loss official and get it on the books before the end comes. Next class - potty break.

[nickieluv]

I learned something last night about pork chops - my husband cooked some a couple of nights ago and weighed one for me, but I didn't know if it included the bone, and after I ate it I still felt hungry so I had a piece of very thin steak he'd cooked for me the night before. Well last night I had the remaining 2 pork chops, because I cut the meat off the bone and weighed it - and it was 2.5oz per chop. So I don't feel badly about eating that extra steak two nights ago because probably I was really close to the right portion size between the two things.

Today I was compliant but I had two bars. I also did a 6/0 today so I'm not too concerned about it. I ate the second bar as my last supplement because I am just beat and I didn't want to even shake a fruit punch together. We were working around the house and outside all evening because we've got a table at the church yard sale tomorrow (indoors) and we were trying to dig out every possible thing we could think of to try to sell. But of course it never stops there with me so we also worked in the yard for a couple of hours. Nothing strenuous, really, but it was tiring getting all that fresh air, you know?

So that's the plan for tomorrow. I'm out of RTDs so that might be tricky but my husband and I are planning to work the sale in shifts so that the baby can still get her regular lunch and nap on schedule - so hopefully my shifts can coincide with when I have to eat something.

I was down a bit more today - not sure how much because I was up 6/10 after my shower and that's a lot - usually if I'm up or down, it's only by 1 or 2 tenths of a pound. I have a little cheerleader in the back of my mind rooting for 219.9 by weigh-in, but I'll be pleased with whatever I get. The numbers are going down and that's enough!

Well, I'm headed to bed now - but first I'm going to go see if I can make 199.9 my goal weight on my ticker instead of just 199. I know, I know - but I'm impatient and I don't want to wait any longer than I have to!

[Serendipity]

Today I was compliant but I had two bars. I also did a 6/0 today so I'm not too concerned about it.

Nickie, Today you were compliant with Nickie's plan. When you vary the Medifast plan, it is no longer the Medifast plan. I just want to make that clear for any newbies out there reading your journal. If this is working for you, it's fine for you, but others should know that the easiest and fastest way is to stay compliant with the Medifast program as written in the Quick Start Guide.

Personally, I believe that you are making things more difficult for yourself with all of these rationalizations. I understand the way you think, because I have a mind like that, too. I can talk myself into anything! It is a struggle. That's why you need to remind yourself every day of why you are doing this. Read that book you got out of the library, make lists, whatever it takes to get focused and get this job done.

Lol, I am starting to have sympathy anxiety every time I read your journal, young lady, so this lecture is for me, too, hehehe.

Waiver: As per usual, these are just my own very humble opinions.

[nickieluv]

Point well made and point taken, Jo. I've coined my own term - reasonably compliant. What keeps happening is that being too strict triggers my rebellion and after a few days or weeks I get overwhelmed with rules and I cheat. I know MF does not have that many rules - I make up my own and make it harder on myself. So for now I have loosened things up considerably. It's only because I'm trying to rid myself of the 'I blew it, let's eat cake' mentality.

You newbies out there - and oldies - do the plan as written. I never meant to suggest that having 2 bars is what MF recommends. And I know editing the plan is never recommended. For me, this is working so far. This will be day 10 of 'Nickie compliance' and I have not felt that strong pull for off-plan foods. In fact, yesterday my sister brought Taco Bell into the house and ate it right in front of me, and I had no interest whatsoever. I don't have two bars every day, I don't skip my L&G every day, I don't eat too much protein every day. My plan is just that IF I DO one of those things, I keep right on going with the plan as written from that moment and I do not turn it into a binge. In order to do that, I can't label those things as non-compliance (even though they are, I know) because in my mind that is license to binge - or to feel like a failure, which leads to a binge.

I'm just forgiving myself more easily for small slips that are not the end of the world, and calling it compliance so that it doesn't turn into the end of the world. Every time I've done something that's not 100% compliant I've noted it here. But in my world I'm still compliant. So I should think of a different word. Because I'm not compliant, but I am being true to my goals. I'll work on that.