The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Ha! No, the one night I ordered in the delivery guy was an ex-boyfriend of one of my students. I'm not THAT crazy!!!

BTW, that was for Biki's comment about picking up the pizza boy - has nothing to do with Donica's post, which I didn't see until after I posted the above.

Donica - I did go right to the library site and request that book last night like I said I would. It'll probably take a few days to come in, since it's being held at a different library and they'll have to ship it. I'm a great reader, but sometimes I don't internalize what I read. So I'm going to try to take my time with this one and not just zip through it.

Motivation is an interesting word. I don't think I've been unmotivated during this cheat - but I've been motivated by the wrong things and have therefore made the wrong choices. But I know what you mean, definitely. And I did want to just 'disappear' for the rest of the week, stay in my little binge mode, and start over on Sunday. But the first day is the thing I've got to get through right now - and that's today. Then I'll worry about the second day.

I have been on MF for basically 4 months. I've been compliant more than half of that time. I have had both minor (short) and major binge episodes - but I have not given up on myself and I have not quit the program. That is something I've never done before on any diet. I have smashed my old weight-loss record of about 7 pounds - I've lost 5 TIMES that much weight (not counting what I 'found' again this week). MF works and I can do it and the plan itself is not a struggle - the problem is that I still make food too important.

OK, so maybe if I say this here it will help me stick to it. When I get home I am going to have a supplement. After my doctor's appointment and before church choir, I will have my lean and green meal (probably turkey burgers with pickles (snack) on romaine lettuce, because it always makes me feel the most full and I may need the help - that or salmon, if the grill is dirty and I don't feel like cleaning it). I will take a bottle of water to choir (making my total today about 135oz) and when I get home, I will have one last supplement and go straight to bed.

Therefore, tomorrow I will be able to post that I completed a compliant day. And from there, it will get easier as I have the momentum of compliance on my side day by day.

I would like to make the 40# club by the weigh-in on May 6th. And I want to start exercising - doing my laps at school didn't last but I think I want to try getting up early and riding the bike in the morning for a few minutes. Or, now that the weather is much improved, taking a walk with the baby after dinner. Something to get me moving, because I know it will make me feel good.

[DonicaB]

Motivation is an interesting word. I don't think I've been unmotivated during this cheat - but I've been motivated by the wrong things and have therefore made the wrong choices.

I can see what you mean, Nickie, and hadn't really thought of that. For me, if I was cheating, I also felt like I wasn't motivated, but now I wonder if, like you, I was just motivated by the wrong things. You've given me something to think about.

I have smashed my old weight-loss record of about 7 pounds - I've lost 5 TIMES that much weight (not counting what I 'found' again this week).

I'm like you, Nickie, I have totally surpassed any weight loss I have had in the past. This struck me quite funny, but then I really began to look at why I always got stuck at 20# lost and then would fail every time. I have some ideas, but I'll save them for my journal.

Keep striving forward, Nickie. I know you will succeed.

DonicaB

[nickieluv]

I just had to come on and say I feel terrific. I have been compliant and am still in the process of complying since my day is not over. My plan didn't go exactly as I outlined it - I had a supplement instead of my L&G because at the time I didn't feel like eating any of my options. After choir, though, I was very hungry, so I'm making the L&G right now. Plus, I didn't want to do a full fast and set myself up for crazy hunger tomorrow.

Nothing has changed, I have not lost 80 pounds during the day, but since getting home from choir I feel thin and sexy again. Part of it may be the gorgeous weather - and another part the fulfullment of rehearsal tonight, which went really well for a change - but mostly I think it's being compliant. I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders now that I'm done being stupid.

And the damn doctor didn't even think to weigh me. And the really ironic thing is that the one thing he was worried about was my blood pressure being slightly elevated - and he asked if I ate a lot of salt - well, brother, I almost marinated in the stuff over the last four days!!! So how funny is that - I'm afraid he'll be upset by my weight loss so I cheat, and instead he's worried about my blood pressure CAUSED BY THE CHEATING!!!!

[Pashta]

One thing I'd like to know Nickie, why do you think your doctor wouldn't like you on Medifast? It was made by a doctor and lots of doctors recommend it. You should ease your mind and print out the sheet to take to your doctor to look over, it's available on the medifast website under Tools & Community, then Downloads.

[nickieluv]

I'm not sure why I think he wouldn't like it. I told him I was on it back in February (or the appointment before that one, I don't remember for sure), and took him one of the supplement boxes to look at the nutritional information, and he didn't have a problem with it. I think the real issue is that even though losing quickly is what I say I want, I worry about it because for years I've been told 'eat less, exercise more, lose weight at a reasonable pace' - and that reasonable pace would be 1 to 2 pounds a week and my average is more like 3 pounds a week, so in my mind I worry that it's too fast. And that my doctor will think so, too.

Anyway, it's apparent that he is not concerned. And I'm not going back for three months now that he thinks we've got the dosage right on my thyroid meds. So by July I could be really close to 200 and I'm not going to screw it up anymore. If he does weigh me then, and thinks I'm losing too quickly, then too bad. As long as I'm doing well and not feeling strange then I don't see any reason to stop even if he tells me it's too fast. But really, I have no reason to think he would say that. I guess I'm working so hard to get myself straightened out and lose the weight that I'm seeing problems where there aren't any, and worrying that it will be someone else who tries to sabotage my weight loss.

Of course, I'm sabotaging pretty well on my own lately. But not today! All compliant all the time and now I'm headed to bed - not early as I'd hoped but I got interested in a movie et cetera, et cetera....

One day down. I feel a sigh of relief coming on....

[Mike]

Well, glad you are compliant. We all struggle with it.... some more than others, but alas, why are we here if we don't.
Like Nancy says, Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Hang in there, tomorrow is a better day.

[nickieluv]

Thanks Mike - sorry for not turning to you and Diana in this latest crisis - I actually wanted to bury my head in the sand and tell no one. I'm doing better. The sun is helping ENORMOUSLY today. The baby and I played on the playground last night and we're going to again today - the fresh air feels wonderful and the fact that I can fit through the spaces to play with her (and I am not confident I could have done that 30 pounds ago) helps me to remember why I am doing this still. Now, in another 30 pounds maybe I can crawl down the little tunnels with her - and 30 pounds after that I can go down the slides.... It's a cool playground, makes me wish I was a kid again.

[ChynnaDoll]

GIRLLLLL you can DO'IT!!!..i KNOW you can...just by what you are now saying, says to me that the positive results you are striving to acheive, are verrrry imminent:+))) Shucks, before you know'it you'll be out there sliding down that side right along with your precious little girl. You're doing GREAT!...and i truly believe that the sun DOES play a very important role in how we feel sometimes. I'm so glad you are going out to ENJOY it today!!!!

Keep on shakin my friend!:-P...and remember my favorite affirmation.."Tough times never last, tough people do."

Love,
Chynna

[nickieluv]

Thanks Chynna. Keep me posted on those lunch arrangements here in CNY. I thought everybody on the boards was in someplace far, far away like California, Texas, DC, China, Timbuktu - it's nice to know someone is at least in the same state!

I'm chugging my water and chugging along. I just can't describe how much better I feel being on plan again. I don't have anxiety about what I will eat tonight, how I will feel in the morning, what my weight will be - actually that last one is nice. Since I know there's no way I'm going to be anywhere near ticker, the pressure is off of my scale for once. I'll be happy to just see it moving down instead of up. As I said I would like to be back in the 220s by roll call - but the way I FEEL is really the neatest thing right now. I never would think I'd be HAPPY to be going back on a diet.

Spring is FINALLY in the air around here - and even summer hints - it's supposed to be near 70 for the weekend if not slightly above. That helps me to have the proper focus, too - I usually eat lighter in the summer even when not on a diet, so I think that will makes things easier - although I'll probably lay off the soups more and order more shakes and drinks. Always hot cocoa, though, always. I can imagine sipping a cup out on the porch, listening to the cars go by on Main St., rocking peacefully with my husband after the baby is in bed....

Oo, I forgot to say - hubby may be coming back to days! They are doing a round of job eliminations, and he is actually hoping his job is eliminated because that means he could possibly bump someone on days and start Monday! The whole reason for him to go to nights was our childcare situation, but that has been straightened out for the remainder of this year. And next year, the baby will be 26 months in September and I won't feel so bad sending her to a sitter if we have to. In fact, one of her playdate friends goes to a sitter about three streets over from our house so maybe she'd be able to get in there, and be with someone she knows!

I would love for him to be back on days. Pure selfishness - I'm lonely at night, especially after the baby goes to bed. And when I'm not working in the summer, it's nicer to have the baby to myself. Right now I get a couple of good hours with her before bedtime and it's not enough - and her best times, mornings, I always have to share her with daddy. So keep your fingers crossed for us - he won't find out until tonight, the suspense is going to be rough. I must remember not to stress-eat.

Toodle-oo for now. I hope all of you are also enjoying good weather today and for the weekend - get outside! It's fabulous!! Especially in a smaller body and with a healthier outlook on yourself and life. Play!

[holberry]

Niki,
Just the idea of sun makes me smile these days. Honestly this has been a long long winter. You too enjoy
hb

[SuzyQ66]

Nicki - you sound so happy today. That is so wonderful and I am glad that you stopped kicking yourself in the butt and just decided enough was enouhg - BACK TO PLAN!! I think sometimes we kick ourselves too much that it prevents us from getting back on plan.

You typed in your journal your plan for day - maybe you should do that everyday first thing in the morning. They say if you write it down or have in your mind what your day will be like foodwise - you tend to stick with it. When I receive my MF shipments - I break them open and put 5 supplements into a ziplock sandwich bag and I just grab one each day and run. At the beginning of the week I will grab four or the baggies and keep them in my desk at work since I work from home on Fridays. This really helps me.

My hubby works nights too because of the kids. 3 girls and my baby boy. The two oldest girls are 19 years old and 17 years old - the 19 year old does not live at home and is pregnant with my first grandbaby - due in July..I don't talk about that much because...well I guess just because...very hard to describe my feelings without people getting the wrong idea. Then we waited 8 years and had another little girl who is now 8 and my baby boy who is 6. Childcare would kill us so we have typically worked opposite shifts. Not easy in any way but I am so used to being by myself at night that when my hubby is here - it sometimes get annoying. Do not recommend opposite shifts for any length of period of time.

Continue doing what you are doing - staying compliant - and know that we are all rooting for you.

[nickieluv]

Sue - thanks. I know what you mean about you and hubby annoying each other when you do have time together. So far we're about 50/50 with that - half the time we get along great because we missed each other, the other half we're just in each other's way because we're so used to being alone. In a couple of weeks it will have been a year with us on opposite shifts. He did not in fact get to switch jobs yesterday and come back to days - and the lay offs have made it iffy that he'll even get the temporary transfer to days. Maybe we should talk about him going back to his old position. It means a drop in pay, though, but if it's not too much, it might be worth it for our mental health and our marriage to take the cut and be back on days. And he'll always hold his higher level classification, so if a job opens on days at the higher level he can bid for it. I don't know. We should talk.

I was compliant yesterday but it was touch and go for a while. After work I took the baby to the playground. When we left I was starving, but it was no where near time to eat again, so we went for a drive down by the lake. When we got home it was still about 30 minutes too early to eat, but I knew if I waited I'd cheat. So I had my L&G right away. That was followed by a soda and soy crisps. And then at 7 I had a second bar as my last supplement because the urge to cheat was still really strong - and before I've wanted a second bar and not let myself have one, and it leads to problems.

So I had my bar and was still hungry but it was mentally satisfying to have the chocolate. Then when the baby went to bed, so did I, even though it was only 8:30. It was what I had to do yesterday to stay compliant.

This morning I've had to nuke the water for my hot cocoa twice and it's still sitting in front of me - I'm way past the one hour from getting up rule. But I'm just finishing up here (I always go to my own journal last) and then I'll drink the cocoa with my vitamins and get through the day. I'm hoping it will be easier today - day 2 is always the hardest for me, and this is day 3, so it should be better.

Oh, and Sue - thanks for the recommendation to parcel out the supps for each day. Being an emotional eater, I like to browse the cupboard and see what I'm 'in the mood' for. Maybe I should stop doing that - but I know if I had ziploc bags of food and I had soup left when I wanted cocoa, I would think I couldn't have the cocoa, and I would cheat sooner or later. I have a lot of rules in my head that I put on things - it's my neurosis I guess. I'm working on it but I think at this point, for me, it's better to have the choice every day. Now if I could eat all chocolate mint bars all the time, the baggies would be perfect. But, I will try to make a plan for myself on days when I am feeling tempted or deprived, so that I don't give in.

That's me today - it's just beautiful today and is supposed to be tomorrow, too, so I'm planning to get outside a lot. Hooray, finally! The porch furniture is coming out of the garage!!!

[Pashta]

Hey Nickie, I like to pick out what I'm in the mood for too, and I am not an emotional eater. I just like to go with what my body tells me to.

[bikipatra]

Hey Nickie, I like to pick out what I'm in the mood for too, and I am not an emotional eater. I just like to go with what my body tells me to.

I do too. When it's supplement time I choose then what I want. There is no way that at 4 in the morning I am going to know what I want at 7pm.

[ChynnaDoll]

I like to be sort of impromptu as well when picking them out at each meal.

Hope you doing well today Nickie!

Love,
Chynna