The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Serendipity]

I've never been able to even taste one of those little boogers - it turns my stomache just to think of them, even tho I am a serious chocaholic from way back.

I thought I was the only one.......could never bring myself to taste them.

[nickieluv]

Yes, I think I am getting close to knowing what my favorites are. Although I always order some things I only sort of like, in case I get bored with hot cocoa, beef stew, and chocolate mint bars. Some days you just want something different, you know?

I am feeling good today. I saw a loss today, and I'm wearing new clothes, and I even did my hair differently today. I woke up at 6:30 and couldn't get back to sleep - which is odd for me on a weekday, usually I can't drag myself out of bed. I think I felt lighter just having that show over with. There were lots of compliments from parents and teachers - several people told me this show was the best in their experience at this school - which is really nice to hear when it's your first year!

A possible discovery ahead. The two days that I had Atkins bars, the next day's weight loss was only 1/10lb. Yesterday, I almost had one - even touched them in the cupboard - but I did not eat one. And today, I was down 9/10lb. Perhaps coincidental - maybe not. I've been thinking about the great loss I had last week, and how I was out of bars - and maybe the bars have been slowing me down, even though with them I still do well. I think I will try not to have one every day. I went through a phase of having a snack every day, and now it's gotten so I'm only having one when I'm extra hungry or munchy - which happens only 2 or 3 times a week now. So maybe when my bars first arrive, I'll be having one every day, but then I'll back off. Or maybe I'll only have them on work days, when they are really convenient, but skip them on the weekends. I also ordered some RTDs for work again. The convenience really can't be beat, but I will have to watch this month and see if either those or the bars slow me down. As Jo says, with this much weight to lose it seems like I would want to take the fastest route - and if that means no bars and no RTDs, I'm willing to do that.

I am all about numerical goals lately, and I think that's OK because I feel that I am past the stage of the numbers completely ruling my life - although they still have an effect. I counted on my graph today, and it took me 10 weeks to lose 25 pounds. That includes the weeks in January when I was partially or completely off plan. So another ten weeks takes me to my birthday, and I am mentally shooting for 50 pounds gone by then. I mentioned it last night in response to Karli, but it really is amazing that losing weight has gone from 'impossible' to 'just a matter of time.' I know I will reach goal eventually, if I can stay compliant. Going off plan loses it's pull on me a little more each time I successfully abstain. I no longer think of reaching goal as permission to go back to the way I always ate. These are big strides and I think now I'm ready for my life to be the best it can be. No more hiding. I'm even strutting a little sometimes as I walk down the hall at work, getting my old confident gait back. It's nice to feel good about yourself.

[Serendipity]

Nickie, Don't misunderstand me. I had a bar every day and still do. I don't think you should continue to become more strict with yourself at least until you are really really stable in the program. Depriving yourself of the allowed food could completely backfire and send you off where you really don't want to go.

You regularly talk of cravings and of wanting to eat off program foods....that's why I say, think before you make the program too hard to stick to.

[nickieluv]

Thanks, Jo. I did have a bar last night, and will continue to as long as I think I need/want one. I had a snack, too - I was on a sugar kick with the apple cinnamon soy crisps. But if some days I can get by without one, I will try to. I already packed one for work today - so I'm not ready yet I guess to give them up!

Mostly what I'm trying to do is pay more attention to my hunger/cravings. I don't want to just eat something because I can - I want to really know I want it. It's a skill I need, because in the past off-plan, I would just eat whatever, whenever, and usually just because it was sitting in front of me, not because I really was hungry or wanted it. It's been working out that some days I don't even think about a snack. So if someday I'm not even thinking about a bar, I won't have one. And I'll see where that takes me.

I have no desire whatsoever to erect roadblocks for myself on this journey. But I'm trying to be more aware.

[Karli]

Mostly what I'm trying to do is pay more attention to my hunger/cravings. I don't want to just eat something because I can - I want to really know I want it. It's a skill I need (...)

I have no desire whatsoever to erect roadblocks for myself on this journey. But I'm trying to be more aware.

Oh, yes, this is very smart. It will only serve you to it's best when you are in transi and maintenance, and why not take these days in the fat burning part to prepare and train for the rest of your life ?

When I first started the program, one of my favorite outlooks was that it was buying me time to really deal with the things I needed to deal with surrounding my food and eating issues. All of these things that you are being so conscious and aware of now, are going to serve you well in your future, too, as your growth does not exist in a vaccuum and you actually DO start to gain a sense of control over these things that will help to ground you, and will carry over into your days to come.

I am so happy that your show was such a success !! GEEZ I bet that feels great . Especially since it was so silly with the snow days leading up to it. Look at how well you did with your eating, too, with the extra stress of the show ! I bet you actually felt more grounded BECAUSE you had an eating plan than if you didn't and were running everywhere when you had moments here or moments there, ending up with food that doesn't give you what you need.

I don't know if it's similar for you, but I used to not be able to eat hardly anything on the days of a performace, and especially not within a few hours of it because my experience was that it was upsetting to my stomach and distracting for me to have in my body. Well, I have noticed that being on program is absolutely PERFECT for concert days, as well as every other day of the week ! That is HUGE to me. Nothing I eat on program, including my L/G, is distracting to me or bothersome in my system, PLUS, I get so nurished by it my performance state-of-mind is SO MUCH BETTER than if I hadn't been eating much that day.

Well, okay. A bit of a tangent but it's a subject that means a lot to me .

Nickie, Nickie, Nickie ... so glad to have you here .


Cheers,
Karli

[nickieluv]

I hadn't thought of the performance aspect of eating, because it's been so long since I had to do a show or a concert what with being on maternity leave last year. But yes, now that I think about it, in the past my show day eating would have been - disgusting. I would have not eaten all day long at work (because I never used to in the past even on a normal day - no breakfast, no nothing until about 5pm). Then, since it was an extra long day, I would have gotten home with only 45 minutes before heading back at night, and with no idea what to eat I would have probably had a soda and some chips. Then, after the show, by then I would have been tired and starving and would have just picked up the phone or, since the baby was spending the night at Grandma's, headed to 2 or 3 different fast food restaurants to get fries, cheeseburgers, tacos, nachos, and ice cream. Then I would have eaten about half of what I bought and not been hungry any more, but eaten the rest because I couldn't waste it. Then feeling gross, tired, and a little sick, I would have stumbled to bed and woken up the next morning feeling the same as always - icky and fat.

This time - I ate as usual at work, came home and even with only 45 minutes, was able to change clothes, cook and eat my L&G, and even call to check on the baby before going back out. And when I got home, I had my two remaining supplements about 90 minutes apart, and got to bed relatively early. The next morning when I woke up, I felt fantastic. I felt so much lighter with the stress of the show gone - stress I hadn't even realized I was carrying around the past month - and there was nothing to feel guilty about. I never would have thought of it, but I'm glad Karli pointed it out. It's another thing to add to the list about why MF is so great. I'm running out of paper for that list!

Well, it's Friday, and that's always good. I weighed in this morning up 7/10lb. Maybe it was because I had my bar right before bed last night. But whereas not so long ago that would be a reason to be very depressed and to have a binge off-plan, today I just saw the number, said "that sucks," and went about my day. I feel confident that the number will go back down in time. I know I did what I was supposed to do yesterday, so the only explanation for gaining is that my body is just choosing to gain. I will keep working the program and the weight will come off. Gaining for a day is not a disaster as long as I know I was compliant. It's not my fault I gained. And it will work itself out when my body is ready.

I believe that means my scale-neediness is gone. I mean, I still weigh once a day, but the number no longer has any impact on my life. Even a good number. If I was feeling bad before I weighed, I still feel bad. If I was in a good mood, I'm still in a good mood. I am free, I think, of at least that much!

[nickieluv]

Well, my evening didn't go quite as I'd planned - but in the spirit of a post I made on Karli's journal earlier today, that's OK.

I started the process of putting the baby to bed about 15 minutes later than usual - because I was waiting for her cue. She came up to me without any prompting asking to go night-night. However, after all of our bedtime routine was completed, she wouldn't lay down. I rocked her three times before finally having to just lay her down and leave the room. She cried for a few minutes but now all is quiet - but I came on the boards to kill a little time before making noise downstairs cooking a supplement. And now I think I'm just going to mix a shake instead and go upstairs to read some more. It's become a nice bedtime routine of my own - shake, water (and/or maybe my one soda of the day, depending on my mood) while I read, and then sleep.

I'm hoping to sleep in tomorrow. I try, every Saturday, and my husband is always willing to let me, but somehow it never works out. I know that means I should just go to bed sooner - but the nighttime is my only quiet and alone time, no people, no baby, just me and whatever hobby I want to do. I go through times when I really need this time, and even though I need sleep, I have to enjoy the peace and quiet. I imagine in a few days or weeks I will start another round of this cycle and want to go to bed early. But for now - I've said all I can think to say. Till tomorrow, then.

[nickieluv]

Arrrrggghhhh!

Up another 1/2lb today. My timing of meals was off the past three days, but I still got them all in and didn't have to cram any together. I got in my water - 64oz. The only other thing is I've added back in the bars and RTDs. I'm not panicking and it's not ruining my day - but should I be changing something? Or keep riding this out?

[Karli]

Well, I would say just keep going and try to get on more of an exact schedule if possible -- sometimes those alterations to your norm can cause a little upset. What is it, again, that you are concerned about in the RTD's ? They have less carbs, less sodium, less sugars than in the regular shakes. Also, you were losing weight with the bars IN your diet before, so I don't think that's it. Maybe it's a snack ? If you have been having a snack, try cutting that out if you don't feel like that would cause bigger problems for you.

Other than that, it may just be "one of those things." If there is nothing you can change in your eating, maybe you would like to try just a gentle walk outside ? You know, nothing too serious, just a stroll or a mosey

[nickieluv]

Ah, the exercise beast. Well, I have been doing laps at work on my lunch break - although in the last 8 work days I've only done it 4 times.

I have been hitting the apple cinnamon soy crisps the last two days, in addition to bars. And the RTDs - they taste sweeter, so I assumed they had more sugar. Guess I should check the labels. I'll try to choose between a bar and a snack in the coming days, instead of both. I know, there was just a post about that a little while ago, but I didn't want to admit the truth of it since bars and snacks in the same day had never been a problem for me before.

Well, I may tweak things, or I may not - I don't want to trigger a binge by depriving myself of any on-plan foods right now. I'll see how I am feeling throughout the day. And we'll see what tomorrows weigh-in brings. *Sigh*

[Karli]

I have been hitting the apple cinnamon soy crisps the last two days, in addition to bars. (...) I'll try to choose between a bar and a snack in the coming days, instead of both. I know, there was just a post about that a little while ago, but I didn't want to admit the truth of it since bars and snacks in the same day had never been a problem for me before.

Well, yeah, I read that post. And, there may be something to it for some people, but, it was --I believe-- talking primarily of the soy crisps themselves because they have a little higher carb content than, say, PB. So, you might want to just try switching snacks .

Well, I may tweak things, or I may not - I don't want to trigger a binge by depriving myself of any on-plan foods right now. I'll see how I am feeling throughout the day.

Yes, this is smart. You know, because our MF eating is not an exact science, no matter what, learning how to cope with it individually and how our body individually reacts to it is some-what of an experiment. There is really no way around that. So, while it is definitely wise to not get into the kind of "experiment-mode" that would tempt us to push the limits to see just what we can "get away with," this is really all still a learning process for each of us -- and I *think* that can actually be really fun .

And we'll see what tomorrows weigh-in brings. *Sigh*

Yes, you seem a little intimidated, perhaps, by this. I understand this very much. Sometimes "Roll Call" has been something of a stress for me rather than a help (and that can backfire big time, I have learned ... LOL). Though, admittedly, that is primarily mental and something that I am bringing on myself. All the same, you know that you are in this for the long-haul, no matter what the numbers read, no matter what a particular Roll Call brings, no matter what the past says, no matter what the future might try to show us ... no matter what, you are in this. THAT much, you do KNOW.

[nickieluv]

Apparently patience is still a lesson I need to learn, because God keeps throwing it up to me. Today before my shower I weighed in and I was back down all I'd gained in the last two days. "Not an exact science" may be an understatement.

So of course that made me feel better. But I'm not going to change my plan of watching how things affect me and maybe changing up my supplements/snacks. I could have pickles instead of crisps, too, thank you for reminding me of that. Or SF Jello?

And I'm also going to try laying off the red meat for a couple of days. It occurred to me that with my husband on Atkins, he cooks almost all steak, and I've been eating that all week. So I'm going to try some seafood or chicken for the weekend instead.

Weigh-in - yes, if this were happening early on in the week, I would not be so worried - the idea of posting a gain for an official roll call is unpleasant. Hopefully I won't have to. But this is for the long haul, and what happens will happen, and as long as I am controlling the things I CAN control, that needs to be enough.

[Karli]

Apparently patience is still a lesson I need to learn, because God keeps throwing it up to me. Today before my shower I weighed in and I was back down all I'd gained in the last two days. "Not an exact science" may be an understatement.

Yeah, and actually this reminds me of something. I don't know when exactly you weigh, but, for me anyway (and it's probably different for everybody), my weight normally goes down at about 15-30 mins after I wake up (if I haven't consumed *anything* more yet). And, yes, I do go potty right when I wake up, so my first weigh in right after potty and waking is sometimes even a pound or more up from where it goes after I give it the magic minutes (and it's almost ALWAYS higher to some degree before I wait the magic minutes), so you may want to experiment with or be more aware of that if you're not already. And, of course, I always count my lowest after it seems to stabilize .

Or SF Jello?

Yep, that's in. However, you will want to check on the portions. I know that you can get those little cups of already-made in the store, but it's cheaper to buy a little box and make it yourself (and then portion it out). I think the already-made cups are a snack serving size, but you would want to do the math if you make a bowl.

And I'm also going to try laying off the red meat for a couple of days. It occurred to me that with my husband on Atkins, he cooks almost all steak, and I've been eating that all week. So I'm going to try some seafood or chicken for the weekend instead.

Yeah, I have always found that fish and poultry sit SO much lighter for me. I rarely eat red meat and pork, so I can't say that I know exactly what it has done for my weightloss, but I always feel better with the lighter stuff. And, actually, now that I think about it, I do seem to remember that I felt it slowed me down a bit when eating darker meats. But, maybe I am just imagining that I remember that .

Anyway, you are doing great .
Cheers,
Karli

[Mike]

Just to chime in... everything Karli said is perfect
With all things... moderation. The soy crisps have a little more sugar and more calories snackwise than non-MF snacks, so perhaps consider SF popsicle, SF jello, pickles, celery, etc.
As for the RTD, I prefer them although they are designed for the 55 program (and diabetic approved) - and have 90 calories instead of the 100 that most other products have. I just make sure that I get in a little protein elsewhere.

You are doing great, and don't stress about the daily fluctuation in weight. Sometimes its just a daily adjustment your body makes with whatever it is doing.

[nickieluv]

I'm sure come summer there will be some SF popsicles inhabiting my freezer. I didn't know those were OK until I heard them mentioned on the boards here a while ago, somewhere - but I'll wait till warmer weather. I don't suppose Jello pudding pops count? There's "jello" and "pops" in the name, right? Actually, I don't know if I've even seen those in the stores in a while - not that I've been looking for the last couple of months. But that's neither here nor there.

No bar today - it just worked out that way. I ate dinner kind of early, but I felt really hungry. I had salmon so of course there was a ton of it - but I still feel hungry. It's really odd that I know I'm not - because I just ate. So obviously I'm tired. I think I've been tired for a while now, and that's why I've been snacking every day. Just eating emotionally again without really thinking about it. But I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight. We wanted to watch movies but I am dragging. There's always tomorrow.

I am optimistic again about weigh-in. You never know what you'll see in the morning. I'll be weighing right after waking up, though, because that's just my routine. And even if it's a gain, it's OK. I'm being compliant and that's what's important. Que sera sera.

Thank you for checking in on me today, Mike and Karli. Today is day 19 on my calendar. When I get to Easter, it will have been 47 days of compliance. In my emotional state today I am thinking about having one off-plan meal then, but it's just because I'm tired and I think stuffing myself sounds good. What I want most is to stay compliant all the way to goal. At least my first goal of 199. (There's my brain hedging again, so as not to scare myself off plan.)