The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[bikipatra]

Glad you made it through a tough day, Nickie. They do have computers in my hotel in Hong Kong and I will be checking in, so I will know if you have been compliant or not....

[bikipatra]

Nickie, I wanted to add on the exercise deal, don't let it freak you out and start when you are ready. It is not a requirement in the early days. I am not sure it speeds up weight loss that much anyway. I walk up to 2 miles a day and you wouldn't exactly call me Speedy Gonzalez when it comes to the scale. I do it more to get out of the house and help with my depression. I don't exactly have the busy lifestyle you do. Take your time.

[katieb920]

Nickie,

I totally agree with you about the whole exercise thing. I keep saying to myself that I am going to But then I dont. I read alot of the post saying you do not need to exercise through out this whole program. Nancy did not exercise until she hit goal. I think we have it stuck in our minds that the only way to do it is limit our food intake and exercise................. I have been told that for years and years.

I also feel that we should do one thing at a time. I think if i exercised and did medifast that it would hurt me in the long run. Because in my mind i would say well I am exercising. I can have a little bit of that. I think you should do it when you are good and ready.

I love reading your post

[nickieluv]

I thought Mike's post about that research study on exercise and weight loss was very timely. It was just what I needed to hear.

I am going to take exercise as it comes. Maybe some day I will want to ride the bike - so I will. If I get on it, that doesn't mean I have to do it every day and if I don't I'm a failure and may as well give up. I am being all-or-nothing about this again and that's not good. I feel that as I lose weight I will want to leave the house more, and that will lead to a more active lifestyle. Apparently there's a YMCA nearby, too, that I never heard of, and they have lots of neat classes I might want to take when I don't feel so self-conscious. And we have several Curves in the area, too, that I might want to try someday. I will listen to myself and I will know when the time is right. Or when the time has come to stop avoiding it - because maybe I will never really WANT to exercise.

Another trigger for me - being tired. I did not get much sleep last night because I stayed up late, thinking my husband was going to get up with the baby and let me sleep in today. He did not. Claims that was never the deal, although I swear it was. So I was pissy about that in the first place, but then I was just tired and irritable and my daughter was in a very clingy and whiny mood today - it was not good. I got her a snack of Nilla wafers and they smelled so good, and I wanted to just take the whole box in the living room and inhale it. But I didn't, and when I got into the living room and sat down, I was thinking about it and realized that I only wanted to eat because I was tired. I was not hungry at all at the time. I continue to be amazed at the strength of my denial - for years I saw no evidence that I was an emotional eater. Now that I'm seeing these things, it's a wonder I didn't weigh twice as much.

Compliant again today. Not doing great on the water this week but I expected that, not being at work. I did have 6 bottles Monday, 6 on Tuesday, so that was good. Yesterday I think I had 3 but they were drink mixes. Today I had 2 bottles of plain water. There's time to have more, and I'll probably take a bottle up to bed and read for a while. But I average 5 bottles a day usually, so I'm behind quite a bit.

Speaking of drink mixes - why shouldn't you have them instead of plain water? I have the Walmart brand and there are no calories. Is it the artificial sweetener or something? I know plain water is best but can I count it as water if I'm having a mix? I use them mostly like treats, but there are some days I just can't stand plain water and everything I drink is flavored. I've never gone over on the soda allottment, though, and most days I don't have any soda at all. If you knew me before, you'd know what an amazing statement that is. I could go through a 12-pack in 2 days. In college I would go through 24 cans in one weekend - by myself. And it was not diet soda back then, my friends.

Well, I'm going to go read some more tonight. I'm enjoying the book a lot - it's just the right pace to keep you turning the pages, but it gives you little lulls to put the book down, too. I don't know how long I'll make it - and really I should just go right to sleep because I need the rest and there are no guarantees I can sleep in tomorrow - but I miss reading. A lot.

This was day 3 of compliance. I am so grateful that I made it back on plan so quickly. I am also only 1.5 pounds over where I was before my binge. I'm hoping to be back to even by Sunday. It was so not worth it to cheat. I think sometimes I just need a clearer picture of why I am doing this - making these changes.

Oh, and my husband has decided to start low-carbing. It worked for him in the past, and my mom and sister are doing it, too, so he'll have his own support network. MF is perfect for me but it has also taught me that each person will have a plan that works best for them, and it is not the same for all people. The nice thing is, with him low-carbing, we will not have to keep all the junk food in the house. I've been great at avoiding temptations at home - I go get my binge foods in the moment - but still it will be nice to open the cupboards and not even have to look at that stuff. Or smell it while he's eating it.

Sheesh, I never can just up and go. I really am now, I swear.

[bikipatra]

Congrats on day 3 of compliance. They say in my 12 step program HALT. Never get too Hungry, Angry Lonely or Tired or you might take a drink. It might apply here for you too.

[nickieluv]

Today I am spending the morning in bed - as soon as I'm done here. I had my hot cocoa and I'm taking water and a bar upstairs so I don't have to come back down to eat again until afternoon. My husband took the baby on errands with him and did let me sleep in - I just can't seem to sleep past 9 anymore, and this is the girl who used to sleep until 1 in the afternoon and then three hours later take a nap. Maybe it's the thyroid thing - I never considered that before but, could be. Anyway, the plan is to read read read. I'll probably finish the book today and then I have two more lined up after that.

But, since I was downstairs anyway I wanted to check in and say that this morning I was .5lb below ticker. Hooray!!!!! .3lb away from the 20# club. Not that that means anything - last week I only lost .1lb in the two days before weigh-in. But it's possible I could make it this week. I would consider that such a victory after what happened on Monday - a personal victory, that I could pick right up and move on and not turn it into a week or a month of binging. And it would mean I did not get too far off track, while still learning a valuable lesson about food and my attitudes and how not worth it going off-plan is.

Thanks for the HALT, Biki. I have heard that before but I could never remember what all the letters meant. It certainly does apply to me and eating - now that I've admitted that, I need to memorize the acronym and use it to self-evaluate myself when I feel the urge to eat. And also to keep myself from getting into any one of those conditions - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. At least, from getting too far into one of them and putting myself at risk for a binge.

Warning - I feel great again today. I have to remember that does not mean I'm cured forever. I'm just having a good day. And I can have a lot more of them, and every day can be a great day, but it still won't mean I'm not susceptible to the same triggers. I hope I've learned that I am not cured, and that food still has a big pull on me, and I need to stay on top of my emotions especially to stay compliant. But I still feel great!

[nickieluv]

I'm doing well - I've been trying to do more posting elsewhere than here, because I don't seem to have so much to say as I used to in my journal. Not sure what that means....

This makes day 5 of my new compliance record. Pizza was ordered tonight - not for me - and I will admit I was tired and stressed and vulnerable and actually mad that I couldn't have any. But I know what I want and I was able to resist. Then I found a new post in recipes just now about snacks and I learned that 1 tsp PB is a snack, and 1c lowfat cheese is a lean. I am so excited about that! I am totally having cheese on my salad tonight for my lean. I LOVE cheese. I didn't think I could have it at all on plan. So I'll be eating pretty soon, my last meal, and then heading to bed. I want to start a new book, plus drink some water before bed, and I am excited about weighing in tomorrow. I may not see as low a number as I did this morning, for whatever reason, but I am reasonably sure I'll be below ticker. And I can't even express how proud that makes me, after Monday. Only having that one binge and not turning it into days and weeks of bad choices is so huge for me. I'd like to not have had the binge in the first place, but this runs a close second.

Oh - and I've spent HOURS on this week of vacation getting things sorted out for my home business - getting organized, really taking steps to get it going again. I feel very good about that, too. I know I will feel amazing once I am really working it instead of abandoning it - another thing to be proud of myself for.

I am actually looking forward to this summer - being thinner, being in less debt. I feel like I am really taking control of my life and starting to make things happen for myself, instead of wallowing in my laziness and apathy and self-loathing. Who knew a diet could change so much about a person? Or at least, make a person so aware of things that have nothing to do with eating. Although in my case, everything was in some way connected to my eating. I'm realizing that - but also working to change that.

OK - I'm really going now.

[Carrie]

Hi Nickie,
just checking in with you and glad to see you are firmly back on track....

[nickieluv]

I've posted all this in various places on the board but wanted to put it all together for myself.

I was down to 242.2 yesterday. Then I had the PB snack and cheese on my veggies - up 1.1lb today for roll call. Still made the 20# club and that is great - but I can't help feeling foolish for messing up last night and gaining so much. I'm hoping it was a temporary gain.

See, I ate the wrong kind of cheese - and too much of it. Neither one was done on purpose, so I am still counting yesterday as a day of compliance. I guess I need to realize that when my mind and body rejoices at the prospect of having a certain food, that means I shouldn't have it. At least not until maintenance. And in the proper amounts. I had 1c of shredded mozzarella on my broccoli last night as my L&G. Because I read on the Lean Cuisine board that it was OK. But I mistakenly ate the wrong kind of cheese - and didn't read until this morning that there are different kinds of mozzarella and my plain old store brand was NOT, in fact, OK to eat.

I am trying not to beat myself up about it but there was the gain today, and then I just feel foolish that I was so ignorant about the cheese.

Anyway, I can't order more food until the middle of this week (still planning to set up a BeSlim order - woohoo!) so this week will be pretty much all shakes, as that's all I have left at the moment. And I'm going to try to not have a snack every day - I've been getting better about only having one when I feel I need it, and not just having one every day because I can. Between those two things and getting back to work (therefore getting more water in again) I'm hoping for a nice loss this week. And as always, full compliance!

[nickieluv]

They say no news is good news.

Work was fine today - I still look forward to a day I can quit and stay home full-time, but I always say if I have to work, I've got the best job there is.

Looking forward to placing my BeSlim club order by Friday. I can't believe I'm running out of food already - you know, it doesn't last long when you're not cheating every day!!

We are slowly getting caught up on bills - that makes me really happy. I see light at the end of the tunnel. And I know we have learned lessons about credit that will save us from these mistakes again. Does anyone else feel sick when they see how much money a month goes to credit card bills? Ugh.

Oddly I weighed in today and did not realize I had lost weight. The numbers are all kind of blurred together lately. I see 242 and I expect to see 142. Maybe it's a product of my mind finally accepting that I am going to succeed this time. I have to watch it, though, that I don't get discouraged and remember to celebrate the mini-goals I reach.

I've been thinking about that old box of clothes a lot lately, too. I want to go through them and see if I have anything close to my current size. There are some things, I think, that I bought and outgrew before I had a chance to wear them. And of course when I fit into the 18W goal pants I bought, I am headed out to buy more work pants. That alone can keep me compliant - looking at the crap I have to wear everyday that is slowly getting bigger and baggier and worse-looking all the time.

I don't really feel in a bad mood today, but I feel like I'm being negative somehow. I know I'm tired and need to get to bed early. Vacation was great but it was not restful. Productive, though. And those two rarely go together in my world. So anyway, rather than spew more babble I'm going to go get some rest.

[DogMa]

Sounds like you're back in the groove, again, Nickie, so that's a good thing. I'm a little late chiming in here, but re: the exercise, part of it is rethinking your definition of exercise. It doesn't mean you have to jump on a treadmill and run for an hour. Just taking a walk down the block is fine, or parking a little farther from the store instead of looking for the closest spot.

Does it help with weight loss? Probably not very much. But it starts getting to be a habit, which is a good thing. And, as Biki alluded to, it's great for your mood.

But if you're just not up to it, don't sweat it. I couldn't work out at all while I was on the program, because I stopped losing every time I did. I didn't start till the very end.

[nickieluv]

Well, so far I'm still looking for the closest parking spots. Too cold!!!

But, I am looking forward to nicer weather, and especially summer vacation. I would like to start taking the baby for a walk every day after work when it gets warmer (like 50s at least). And then when I'm home for the summer we can go outside and play on her swing set, etc. I'm very excited about being under 200 pounds this summer and being able to keep up with her as she runs around the house and yard. What a boring mom I've been, sitting on the couch all the time. But she's very active and independent as a result, because my laziness leads me to teach her how to do things for herself so I don't have to get up! I know, that's terrible. It's not the kind of mom I want to be and is part of the many reasons for making this change in my life.

But my little girl is tall and thin for her age and I hope to keep her on the right track and set a good example. With my husband on Atkins, almost all the junk is out of the house - and when it's gone, I don't see the need to buy more. She loves fruits and vegetables just as much as cookies and chips, so why even offer her the unhealthy choices? It's mainly because those are the things *I* prefer and miss on this diet, and I also would feel like she was missing out. But I have to remember she can have those things on playdates and special occasions, and that's a better example than having them available every day. I also make sure she only has a small amount as a treat - but she can have as much healthy fare as she wants. Her favorite foods? Broccoli and apples. So we must be doing something right!

Well, I have to get back to work. I'm so darn efficient lately that I have more time to get on here - not that I should, but I do. I'm really accomplishing things and I feel like it's all due to the change in my focus and behaviors. I'm not wasting time eating or bemoaning my fatness. I love how MF has been working. And I have not thought once about cheating during this Lent-compliance challenge. I'm even going to take it right to Easter, 4/8. Can't wait to see where I am in two more months!!!!

[DogMa]

She's definitely not being deprived if you don't keep that stuff around. And heck, if she ASKS for something, you can always get her a small amount when she wants it, rather than having it available all the time. That way she learns to have a healthier relationship with food than WE do.

I forgot about the cold and the snow, since it's about 80 here today. I'd be taking the closer spots, too!! But maybe parking at the opposite end of the mall, so I have to walk all the way through it to get to the right store. Something like that. Not that I go the mall all that much.

I've even started taking my own advice. In addition to my run this morning, I've taken the stairs at work all day today, even this morning when I had my lunch cooler with me (which is heavy because it usually has three bottles of water in addition to my day's food). And I keep walking to the far restroom. Every little bit helps, and it's all "exercise."

[nickieluv]

Thanks for the good ideas, Robin. We're one floor here so I can't do stairs, but I certainly could be walking to the farthest faculty bathroom instead of using the one right in my classroom (when I have time, that is - usually I have to rush between classes!!). And, there's no reason why I couldn't have walked some laps around the building today during lunch instead of sitting here online. I don't actually eat at lunch because it's not time for a supplement. I think I'll start doing that this week. Maybe start with just once around the building, then gradually increase it. I'll need to start wearing a watch, though, so I don't miss my classes while I'm out for my stroll. And when the weather gets nicer, I could walk outside, too.

I just have always felt that exercise means just what you said, sweating and torture for an hour a day. They say to find something fun to do - and there are some sports I like - but I'm terrible, so I can't join a team or anything, and we're not a big enough area to have 'just for fun' things. I've thought about dance classes - but maybe when I don't feel like the ballerina hippo in Fantasia I'll look into that more seriously.

In the meantime, I'm hoping that as I lose the weight, my energy will increase and I will WANT to be more active. I already have noticed (when I'm getting enough sleep, that is) that I have increased stamina with the kids at work. Just before vacation I was jumping and dancing with them and I wasn't out of breath. I feel taller, or maybe it's just that I'm holding myself up more proudly because of MF. I am looking to the future and seeing wonderful things instead of feeling hopeless.

I have never had this kind of success before. And I know that more will come. I'm getting back into the groove where I'm just eating the way I have to eat to reach my goals - I'm not struggling with what I really want. Being thin and healthy and attractive and active is what I really want. And now I know how to get there, and I know I can.

It seems like every few days I go through this again - this affirmation of MF and where I am going. It's like pinching myself to make sure it's real. I don't remember ever feeling so good about myself. I am taking control of more than just food and not feeling like a failure every day.

Can anyone relate? Am I the only one who has trouble accepting that success is going to happen? That I am going to make it happen? I've always had this fear that if I tried, really tried, at anything, I would fail. And so I never wanted to try. It was better to have partial success than to risk failure. Now I feel like if I try, I will reach my goals. Like I have the tools to be a terrific teacher, mother, businesswoman, musician - whatever I choose. And to think that I have always had these tools, but just needed to allow myself to use them and not be afraid - it's amazing.

I owe my life to MF, and to all of you who are supporting me. What I have today is what I always could have had. I needed this journey to open my eyes to the possibilities of life that I have been denying myself. What I have is amazing. I am only just now appreciating it.

[DogMa]

Throughout my time on Medifast, I kept thinking it was going to stop working. I'd lost all the weight before, but I'd had such a hard time for so many years since then, I really thought I'd lose a few pounds and then it would stop, no matter how hard I tried. It did slow down, but I still made it.

As for the exercise, I think the more you do it, the more you WANT to do it. I used to HATE taking stairs or going down the hall to use the bathroom - all of that - but now I actually look for ways to get in a few more steps because I don't like to sit still for so long.