The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Unca_Tim]

Hi Nickie,
Good luck with whatever you do.
You'll always have your place here in the forum.
All the best to you....

[Karli]

Best Wishes to you, Nickieluv. You know where to find us . And, I for one would like to hear from you when you feel the desire.

Karli

[Janae]

Nickieluv-

Just wanted to say I wish you all the best in whatever path you pursue concerning your weight loss. Every step is a learning process and, though you don't feel Medifast is for you at this time, I'm sure you will take some good things from your experience with it.

I am having some of my own challenges with the program...and it certainly is not for everyone, in every case. I trust you will find a path that can give you a sense of well-being as you move toward the best health possible.

Hugs to you and your precious little one!

[nickieluv]

Hi - I'm just checking in and I thought this would be the place to do it, rather than cluttering up the member boards with my definitely off-topic, off-Medifast tales.

I have maintained the weight I lost on my few weeks on Medifast - about 5 pounds, given that I initially lost 8 and then snuck on a few more bit by bit. So I am solidly under 260, and that's nice.

What am I doing? Well, I still haven't gotten in to see a counselor - my husband's EAP has to call him back to schedule something, and apparently they're just far too busy to actually be helpful. But in the meantime, I'm trying to make some positive changes on my own.

First off, I'm not worrying too much about calories or exercise at the moment. My number one goal is not to eat fast food - my previous taskmaster. The deal is that I can't eat anything I didn't buy and make at home - even if it's a freakin' pop tart, that counts at the moment. Not that we can't ever go out - we just can't order in. It's too easy. So if we don't feel like cooking, we have to actually pack ourselves up, and the baby, and go to a REAL restaurant that serves sit-down meals that someone actually cooks, not just heats up - that is, if anyplace has chefs anymore, I don't know. My point is, no burger joints. We have to at least have the option to get real food - if we choose a burger at the sit-down place, well, that's another battle.

My next step, after feeling more in control of the fast-food issue, is to get more home-cooked meals, and less microwaveable ones. That one is going to take some time. One of the main reasons I'm not cooking meals is that my husband is on nights and I'm on days - so we only eat together on the weekends. With the baby still eating baby food, it seems silly to cook for one. Hence all the ordering in. But now, I'm eating at home - it's just still mostly prepackaged stuff. So I know that will be a hard step, but I'm willing to try it and see what happens.

I am eating breakfast most days - once this week it was Capri Sun and a 3 Musketeers bar because I was running late, but it was something. I'm not being very judgmental of myself right now, I'm keeping the rules simple. And today I gave piano lessons and I did NOT buy food with the money.

Actually, I was thinking, we're going to save a lot of money this way. Before we would spend a bunch on groceries that we didn't eat and ended up tossing in the trash, and we'd spend a bunch more on fast food, eating out, and ordering in. So our food budget was really twice what we actually budgeted FOR. This way, we're eating the food we bought at the store, and saving a ton on the other stuff. I get fifty dollars a week right now with the number of piano students I have. Add that to the food savings, I think I might have discovered another $400 or so in our budget. And as tight as we are, that will really help us out! It might make my dream of being a full-time stay-at-home mom come true that much faster.

The last time I was successful, baby steps worked the best for me. I was impatient with myself so I turned to Medifast for a quick fix - and that backfired. I'm not saying Medifast is a bad plan - there are so many people here to attest that it's a great way of eating - but for my issues and personality, it didn't help. I need to be more in control of myself first. Maybe in a few months, I'll feel ready for a more extreme diet of the Medifast variety - but for now, I'm taking it VERY slowly, one little change at a time. And I won't move to the next change until the first one is no longer a big thought process for me.

Well, I'll check back in from time to time, as I said. Maybe when school starts in September, or when my summer job ends mid-August. We'll see. But I will be back, I promise. Thank you for letting me stay here even though I'm not using the supplements right now. Talk to you later!

[Karli]

Hi nickieluv, it's absolutely great to hear from you. It sounds like you are doing quite well. I just get a calmer vibe from your writing. And, I think all of your ideas are great. If you have the time to do your cooking, and you enjoy it, then why not ?

Keep up the good work and I'll be watching for future updates from you .


Karli

[nickieluv]

Hello. I'm sneaking back on. I don't know if anyone will catch this thread but it's mostly for me anyway.

I have (sort of) maintained my weight. Depending on what day I weigh in I've gained all of it back or only two pounds. I call that sort of maintaining because I haven't gone over 265 at all, and I don't think I'll ever see 273 again (which is where I was - 278 according to the doctor's office - after my baby was born). So that's something at least.

I'm thinking about coming back to the program for a couple of reasons. One, I'm working full time again and both the money I'm earning and the structure of my days will make the program a little easier to stick to - I'm busier so I don't have so much time at home to think about what I could gobble up (besides my adorable little one's toes, of course!). Reason two is that I left because I thought the supplements were "cheating" and setting a bad example for my baby - but I'm still not eating regular meals, although she is. She's entered the picky toddler stage so my meals at home are usually whatever she doesn't eat and some chips. Oh so nutritious.

Now I'm thinking, what's the worse example - having to eat supplements to stay in control of my weight, or eating "normal" chips and fast food in front of her while she eats healthy meals and saying things like "when you're a grown-up you can eat like this." Heaven help me, I don't WANT her eating the way I do!!!! And her "healthy" meals are all prepackaged stuff anyway (Gerber Graduates, single-serve applesauce and yogurt, and Chef Boyardee for example) so it's not like she's eating organic freshly harvested golden apples every day or something. I hope I'm feeding her good food - I do worry about preservatives and things in all her prepackaged fare - but I don't worry that she's getting too much or not enough. And to date not one McDonald's fry has passed her lips, when we eat out at restaurants I make healthy choices for her (not myself of course!) and I'm proud of that (her food, not mine ).

So anyway, here I sit, thinking my dropping the program may have just been something I alluded to in earlier posts - fear of success. I never did make it to counseling - but now I'm back to work and can go through my own EAP, which is much more efficient than my husband's (according to him they never called to set up anything, and I guess that's how it works over there. Good thing I wasn't suicidal ). I know I have many, many emotional issues to deal with. And even though it's false hope, I do believe (I can't help it) that if I could lose some weight I'd feel better about myself. Maybe it's not false - I know it won't cure my marital problems or my anger issues or my self-loathing - but I could sure use some good feelings and I don't see how losing a few pounds could make me feel any worse.

I haven't placed an order - we're still paycheck-to-paycheck while we dig out of the maternity leave financial hole we got into - but I do know what I'm going to order if I take the plunge again and I'm just waiting for payday.

And one last thing on the "supplements are a crutch and I need to address the bigger problem" issue - people use crutches while they're healing. Why can't I? If I broke my leg I wouldn't scoff at crutches and a cast - I wouldn't lock myself in my bedroom and sleep until it healed either. I'd go about my daily life as best I could with my injury. My body is injured - my heart is obviously injured - my self-esteem is in peril - maybe a crutch is just what I need right now. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

I thought using the supplements made me weak and kept me from doing what I needed to do to get healthy. Maybe they will be my support while my injuries heal.

You know, I don't really talk the way I write. As much as this is for me it's always in the back of my mind that someone might read it, so although I can say I've been honest, I've also been a little wordy. Like a bad romance novel or something, drawing out the simplest phrase with colorful adjectives and verbose verbage. So I apologize for my high-falutin' self-indulgent narration.

[hulagirlfromhawaii]

Hi there!

I was reading through the journal entries and I came across yours.
I just wanted to let you know that I wish you the best with MF. I know that it has helped me tremendously with my food issues( you can read my first journa entry to get a better idea... too long to post here )

I have been in that place of starting MF with some success and then, quitting and then re-starting about a hundred times before finally realizing that I am worth it all. My issues run very deep and I realized that I needed to forgive myself first, if I really wanted to lose the fat that was slowly suffocating me. With MF I am freeing myself from my food addiction, and it is the best feeling in the world. I still have a long way to go as far as reaching my weightloss goal. but I am truly in a better place, emotionally, mentally,and physically since making a committment to do this program. I owe Medifast, and the Makemethinner website family so much, because I am sooo much happier now.

Sorry this post is so long, but I just wanted to let you know that you have someone here that can understand exactly where you are coming from... and there are many of us on this forum who can. All the best to you as you continue on your MF journey!!!! We can do this!!!!!

[nickieluv]

Below is what I posted today - I don't know how much I'll use this journal - I never know what will happen from one moment to the next - but at least it's a sort of record, right?

Hi all. I wasn't a big name around here or anything but a few months ago I was trying Medifast for the first time, and then quit, then planned a restart but didn't have the funds to do it.

I'm very "all or nothing" and thought I was setting a bad example for my daughter by not eating "real food." But in the past month I have eaten out/ordered in so many times - I can't remember the last time I had a real home-cooked meal, unless the turkey sandwich I made tonight counts - anyway, I'm still not eating "real food." And now my daughter's habits are suffering. She's only 17 months old but she's already showing signs of over-loving food, stuffing herself until her little belly is so hard, and what a sweet tooth! So much like her Mommy and not in the good ways. So I really think the way I've been eating lately is skewing her nutrition, too, even though I've tried to keep the really bad stuff from her.

So we are going "healthy food shopping" for her this weekend, and I've ordered again and based on the shipping speed of last time, I figure I'll have it by Saturday - or if not, certainly just after Christmas, which is when I want to start anyway. I've read a lot tonight about the full fast or complete plan, and while I thought it seemed like a great idea at first, I don't think I should do it long-term based on all the advice about doctor's supervision etc. So I'll probably just try it for a few days, then add in a L&G, or try to, anyway. I didn't realize how extremely low-calorie having only 6 supplements a day would be, but I was attracted to the idea because I wouldn't have to prepare any meals for myself and I wouldn't have to even think about food for a while.

I tend to write with a lot of "buts" in my sentences. I think that's part of my problems in life in general. And I babble. Overthink, overexplain, overeat - over-rationalize bad behavior.

Anyway - where was I?

I am starting Medifast. I am not going to cheat. I may not always have my lean and green. If this happens it will not be a travesty or an excuse to give up. I can have extra supplements if I miss my L&G. I do not have to have ice cream to increase my calorie level.

Now, my question, for all who have been eagerly searching for a point to all this - in all my reading tonight I came across, frequently, mentions of Certified Health Advisors (with very impressive capital letters) and I wondered what that was and if there was some other helpful service here I should be clued into.

Sorry if this seemed too sarcastic. I do respect this plan but I'm scared and I tend to hide what I really feel behind this joking wall. I can't be alone in that, I'm sure - actually I know I'm not, if only because my whole family does this. This is my third time here in 4 or 5 months and I haven't made any real changes, so I'm doubting myself right now. I'm afraid of posting this and then disappearing again for a few months only to return later saying yet again that "this time I'll really stick with it." So here I am, as I am, and I guess we'll see what happens this time.

[bikipatra]

Welcome back!!!!

[nickieluv]

This is kind of random, and I really should be asleep by now, but I've been looking at before-and-afters today and the main things that gets me is how much younger people seem after losing weight. What is it? Is it some internal glow from accomplishing a goal? Is it literally the size factor - we think of smaller beings as younger, like kids? Both? Something else?

It hit me mostly because I feel so old, and I'm not even 30 yet - many others my age are still out partying all night, and here I am married, fat, and boring. Not that I want to party all night, but knowing I couldn't even if I tried is a little sad. No energy, no self-esteem, no desire to do anything but sleep and eat most of the time.

I feel my life ticking away. I know people are active now much later in life, and I pray I'll be a feisty 90-year-old cutting up the dance floor, but right now a corpse has more energy than me. I don't want to miss out. I want all the years I have coming to me. What if I died tomorrow? Ironically, that's what family says to me about losing weight. If I died tomorrow, who would care that I was fat, so I should have my cake or whatever. How come nobody says "what if you died in ten years?" That's a good amount of time. So much can happen in ten years. And even if I only have a month left, why spend it miserably unhealthy?

Ugh, I'm tired - of a lot of things, but right now I just mean physically tired. I've been getting too little sleep the past couple of weeks, getting geared up for Christmas. So I'm probably not making any sense and I'll read this tomorrow and laugh my fool head off at myself.

I just want to have a youth. A prime. A wonderful time of living that will sustain me when I can't have my independence anymore. What I have now, while filled with some wonderful moments and people, is not life as I imagine it. Not fully.

Goodnight to anyone who may be out there reading....

[Karli]

Hi nickieluv... wow. Well, I have to say that I am *so* happy to see you back here again. And, you mentioned that you feel settled when you read my posts, which I really appreciate, but, I think this also has a lot to do with you and where you are at. It seems like you are really coming to terms with some important things in your life.

You mentioned the jist of not wanting to post too much about what you are going to do and then not do it. I understand that feeling very much. I went off program for a few months and had a really difficult time restarting for reals... I came back several times and said "hey I am here and I am back on plan, yahoo !!" but then I would disappear again. Until one time it finally stuck again. I needed to learn some things in the time between.

It seems that you are clarifying for yourself what really matters to you, and that will only serve your purpose in a positive way (and these will be things you will not be able to forget about, even if you try). The thing about what we are working to deal with is that it is not going to just go away on it's own. It might actually be easy sometimes if one finds the right program at the right time (MF for me), but sometimes it will really take some work and commitment to push through to the next side of whatever wall we seem to be facing. But, you are strong and you can do this, and that's what we are all here for, too.

I just want to have a youth. A prime. A wonderful time of living that will sustain me when I can't have my independence anymore. What I have now, while filled with some wonderful moments and people, is not life as I imagine it. Not fully.

You know... I think you would be surprised how much youth you will feel as you begin to experience your weight melting away. It's amazing !! You can have that back, you really, truly can !! It's yours to have, afterall, it's within your grasp . It's full, and beautiful, and it's yours .

I have to digress for one moment. When I first entered University to study piano, I began working with an instructor that I completely respected and felt extremely self-conscious in front of. I use to play the piano like that, too. I would apologize for making sound... apologize for thinking I could touch the keys, apologize for living, basically. My favorite word was "sorry" for a lot of my life, actually. But, my instructor really helped me to see the need to change this, and I accepted his helping me change it, too. For some reason I just feel like bringing this up. Does any of this resonate with you ?

I don't know you beyond what you have posted here, but I get the sense that you are a truly remarkable person with *so* much happiness and success in store for you. I also feel that you are a blessing to those around you and to those you choose to open up to -- you are very thoughtful and generous. I love your thoughts, I love your "ramblings" (though, I mean this in a wonderful way -- I do not take them as "ramblings" but as your honest expression from wherever you are at), and I love seeing your growth... you are beautiful (even if not perfect (nobody is -- remember ?)) !! And, you are not alone.

Cheers to you,
Karli

[Karli]

PS -- sorry, I forgot to answer. An HA, or Health Advisor, is somebody whom has decided to serve and help other individuals on their MF journey to optimal health. They are something like a coach; they are there to encourage and support, do a little butt-kicking if needed, and can answer questions and so on. They can also be a friend.

[Mike]

Nickie,
Hope you have a restful sleep, and feel recharged for the upcoming holiday.
Remember, we are all here to help you, so please write and let us know how things are going with the restart.

[Diana]

Oh, Nickie!! Your post on Thursday really resonated with me!

Less than a year ago, I had literally given up! I figured I'd lived the best years of my life and, at the age of 41, I was hoping the end wouldn't take too long to get here because the downhill slide was beginning to feel unbearable.

Like you, I had no energy; my skin, my hair, my personality were all completely flat. I was over 300 lbs, depressed, often sick, didn't care what I looked like, didn't WANT to be social, had to convince myself to get up and go to work each day...

My sister, though, was suddenly annoyingly effervescent and she wanted me to try this program. As soon as I ordered it, I called her and told her I think I made a mistake. What if I just spent $275 on another gimmic? This one was going to fail, too.

It's not always been easy; I've not always felt successful. But here I am, 9 months later and down 90 lbs. My students don't believe I'm in my 40s. And to be honest I don't feel middle-aged anymore. This I know: If you commit yourself not just to the 5&1 program but the BeSlim philosophy, it can completely change your life.

So, hang in there, girl!! I know this is a restart for you which many report as more difficult than the first time (head's up!). But join our Red Rover line here. Link arms with us and do this thing one choice at a time! (That part about extra supplements instead of ice cream? You bet! You're COMPLETELY on the right track! More of those and viola you're successful!)

[nickieluv]

I'm calling this a restart but I don't know if that's really accurate when I was only faithful to the program about three days in a row last time. :-) So hopefully it won't be too terrible to get going again. The first time I really liked the way I was feeling but this little voice told me I had to have Chinese, McDonald's, whatever drug of choice at the moment, and even though I really didn't want it, I gave in to my old habits. That's what I KNOW I have to watch out for - ironically, I usually think way too much about things, but when it comes to food I just stuff now and think later. I need to think first and not let myself get sucked in to evil fries. :-)

I still have the goal of getting pregnant again. I'm not going to make it to my final goal of 140 probably, at this time. But my smaller goal is to be less than 200 pounds by June if I can, so that we can start trying to conceive. Then with that baby, after I'm done breastfeeding, I'll start up Medifast again and try to get to goal. Don't worry, I know and I will not be doing Medifast while pregnant - but hopefully it will be good practice for maintenance someday. I was very good last time I was pregnant - I cut out anything and everything that could possibly be the teensiest bit harmful - I wouldn't even eat pepperoni pizza because of the nitrates - I got made fun of a lot. But I ate breakfast every day and ate smaller, more frequent meals, and I only gained about 10 pounds the whole pregnancy. I actually lost weight in the beginning because I so radically changed my habits. So I know I can make big changes with a big enough incentive.

Thank you all for the comments and support. I won't know for sure I think until I really get into the program, but I think I'm ready. Of course, otherwise I wouldn't have spent all this money already - but I really want to commit to this. Do I have fantasies of losing 120 pounds by June? Of course. But I'll stay realistic. I do know that if I stick with it, it will work - you all have proven it to me. I want to join you on the "after" pages. :-)