Nickieluv

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Postby Carrie » February 11th, 2007, 5:09 pm

Nickie,

I'm glad you're feeling so positive - isn't it wonderful!

I think keeping our goal in mind consistently is very important, we have to keep thinking about why we're doing this - that way when the hard times come we can think through them. And having your mind on where you're going is going to help you get there.

I think using the calendar would be a good tool for you, it's another form of accountability.

Oh, and my parents honeymooned at Niagra Falls...........39 years ago!
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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Postby DonicaB » February 11th, 2007, 5:42 pm

nickieluv wrote:I used to think it was impossible for people (like Jo) to just go on program and stay there until reaching goal. I thought it could never happen to me. But I feel so amazing and so strong that I really believe I can do it. This is just what my life will be like as I journey to thindom, and into maintenance beyond.


Nickie~ I used to think the same thing.....until I came here. I'm sure you will agree that it is so helpful to have folks like Jo, who have shown us it can be done. I just really want to stay on program until I reach my goal.

You're doing great, Nickie. I'm gladly you are doing so well.

DonicaB :bananadance:
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Postby nickieluv » February 12th, 2007, 7:09 am

bikipatra wrote:As they say in AA, don't get too well too soon. But you sound like you are doing really well.


Biki, I gotta tell ya, at first I was upset with you for this comment. Something like 'I'm doing great, how dare she rain on my parade?' But I didn't post last night and instead thought about it quite a bit, and I think I know what you were getting at.

So don't worry - I'm not sitting here singing happy songs and thinking I will never have another struggle again. Even yesterday I almost had an Oreo moment because for some reason I felt really hungry in the afternoon. I am staying aware and on the lookout for possible setbacks, and I am ready to fight for what I want. I don't believe I am 'cured' of all my attitudes and habits that got me fat - and I think while the diet may go relatively smoothly, maintenance will be an even bigger struggle. But there have been changes and I'm happy with them.

So I'm sorry for being upset with you even though you didn't know it - and I hope that I got your meaning correctly.

Also - up .7lb today. I really want to go all week without weighing in until Sunday. I only have to resist the scale once a day, first thing in the morning, so that's going to be my goal today - no weighing until Sunday and of course, still 100% compliance.
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Postby KeleeGrl » February 12th, 2007, 7:15 am

Nickie, I can't believe the mind transformation you have had....you are doing totally awesome. I don't always post, but read everyone's journals and I just love hearing how positive you are. Keep up the great work and you will melt away!
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Postby bikipatra » February 12th, 2007, 10:17 am

nickieluv wrote:
bikipatra wrote:As they say in AA, don't get too well too soon. But you sound like you are doing really well.


Biki, I gotta tell ya, at first I was upset with you for this comment. Something like 'I'm doing great, how dare she rain on my parade?' But I didn't post last night and instead thought about it quite a bit, and I think I know what you were getting at.

.

Nickie, sorry my remark was upsetting to you. I can only share my experience, strength and hope in this program and other recovery programs I am involved in. I share what I experienced, just like Jo does, and what was told to me in early recovery. I hope you got my true meaning. You are indeed doing very well.
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby Carrie » February 12th, 2007, 7:15 pm

Heya Nic,

I've been thinking the same thing - I'm not sure I do myself any favors by weighing every day - but I'm also not sure how I'm gonna keep myself off the bleepin thing. Maybe put it away in the closet and only get it out on Sunday morning to weigh????

I'm thinking that doing it every day might just make things more difficult mind-game wise by reinforcing the idea of immediacy - which I don't want to do - this is gonna take awhile and I'm gonna have to be able summon a lot of patience to get there..........

oh yuck, it's kinda sinking in that maybe I REALLY need to put the thing away.......that's gonna be tough.

Glad you had another successful day, see you tomorrow!
Now: 2/5/07: 233.6/220.0/145
1st time: 3/1/04, from 266.5 to 195.4
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Postby nickieluv » February 12th, 2007, 8:32 pm

Carrie wrote:I'm thinking that doing it every day might just make things more difficult mind-game wise by reinforcing the idea of immediacy....


Carrie, that's exactly what I've been thinking. So far I have been surprising myself by not putting too much stock in the numbers, but I am on the lookout for that becoming a dangerous behavior. I am so undecided about it, though. On the one hand, if I see a gain one day I MIGHT go off the deep end, whereas weighing only once a week I would hopefully be more likely to see a bigger loss each week and stay motivated. On the other hand, suppose I weigh in on Sunday and that turns out to be the one day I'm up, when all the other days I was down? I can see myself getting really discouraged about that.

So part of me thinks I should put away the scale because in the past it's been a problem for me - but part of me thinks weighing every day is showing me that it's normal for weight to fluctuate and it's the overall pattern of downward movement that is important.

Every so often this comes up for me and I try to make it an issue before it really is one, to be proactive. But I suppose I will just see what each day brings and react accordingly. Maybe in the future if I am stalled or on a plateau I will put away the scale for a while and keep my focus on compliance, but as long as I am seeing good numbers and feeling strong on plan then I should leave well enough alone.

Late night tonight again - I've been trying to do so well about getting to bed early, but I always find something (meaningless) to do instead. It's like I hate to surrender the day, like I think there's something more I could do - but there never is. Or rather, there is, but I don't really want to do what I need to do so I end up wasting time and being too tired the next day to do what needs to be done. Plus this is the week of my 1st grade musical at work and I'm stressed that we're going to have a snow day and have to cancel it. The show is going to be great, and the kids are ready - but the weather could blow us out of the water and I really, really don't want to have to reschedule it for after vacation. I want it to be over already! And I'm sure the kids do, too - they're enjoying it but they've been rehearsing for almost two months and I know they'd like to kick back and do something else in music class for a change!

Anyway - another day of compliance - another cookie issue - it was someone's birthday at school and the kids brought me a cookie. I took one to be polite but I of course couldn't eat it, and no one else wanted it. It sat on my desk almost all day and I hated to waste it (the thought even entered my mind that it was 'just one little cookie') but into the trash it went. And I didn't feel as hungry today, and really didn't need a snack, but I put some crackers in my beef stew (MF of course!). It tasted just wonderful - I put tons of pepper on the stew and it reminds me of my dad's recipe - but I said a while back I didn't want to have a snack every day, and so far I have been. Sometimes it's really due to feeling hungry, but more often than not it's just because I can. I know that's an attitude I need to fix. The soy crisps and crackers just seem like such a treat, and it feels like a safe indulgence. I haven't been tempted to rip open every package and eat them all at once - I've been satisfied with the amount in one bag, and that's progress. Even my absolute favorite chocolate mint bars have not derailed me in any way, and usually that's happened by now with anything remotely dessert-ish.

My mother and sister have commented in the last two days on my loss being noticeable. I still don't see anything - but I feel things, and my clothes are fitting better. I'm unofficially waiting for 30# gone to take pictures again. I'm looking forward to doing that this time, unlike my 'before' set which are hideous. Maybe I'll ditch the glasses and wear something nicer. Don't count on makeup, though - that only happens once in a blue moon.

Oh - for the last three or four visits here I've been meaning to say this - I realized the other night that since I've been compliant, I have not bitten my nails once. I looked down at them and realized they actually had some white on the tips, so I polished them up and have been retouching them every day. I like looking at them - like another badge of change. It's always been sad to me that because I play piano, I can't have those long gorgeous nails. But I'm not playing a lot lately except at church, so I'm going to see how long they can go before it's a problem. They're tapping on the keyboard keys a little as I type so it may not be much longer - but I'd really like enough length to do a French manicure. I've always wanted one of those, for real, on my own nails, not plastic ones from Wal-mart. Something about nice nails makes me feel thin and sexy. Strange, but true.
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Postby Tawanda » February 12th, 2007, 9:05 pm

Nickiluv, I spent some time today wondering about how often to weigh and how I'd feel weighing daily versus weekly. After reading your post, I'm thinking I need to change my thought process and not worry about the numbers as much as I should be contemplating how to change my focus regarding how I use food.

Thank you for the food for thought that you've shared!
Began MediFast 2/10/07 212#
Reached Goal 3/15/08 147#
Renewed commitment 9/20/09-after regaining 38# (185#)
Reached Goal 1/25/10 147# Maintaining :)
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Postby bikipatra » February 13th, 2007, 3:02 am

The daily numbers do nothing to my motivation except make it stronger. This is just the way it is for me. I am in this for the long haul. I am not quitting so even if I gained 5 pounds while being compliant is it not changing my committment. It would make me want to work out more, be extra careful when measuring my L&G, watch my water. My committment is to better health and putting humpty dumpty back together again and I decided that 84 days ago and it hasn't changed. Medifast is just one part of it, but a very important one.
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
12/31/09 226.8
226.8/218/135
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Postby nickieluv » February 13th, 2007, 6:22 am

bikipatra wrote:I am not quitting so even if I gained 5 pounds while being compliant is it not changing my committment.


I feel the same way, Biki. I would not quit, but I would get an attitude about it I'm sure. :D

After weighing in this morning (yes, I did it) I was down a pound so I think I will keep weighing in every day. There are fluctuations, and right now it's teaching me even more not to put much stock in the numbers - because they are pretty fickle and change quickly. Biki is right, the scale should just be a tool for tweaking my routine. When I showed a gain yesterday, I drank more water, and whether that was it or not, today there was a loss. The important thing is that I feel better, and there are already a whole lot of NSVs stacking up, so I know this is working.

I've decided to tell my doctor I'm on a diet. We are still adjusting my thyroid dosage so now that I'm losing weight and not just playing around with MF, I feel I should tell him in case the weight change affects my dosage at all. I have an appointment on Thursday. My biggest fear is that he'll be against MF and tell me to stop - not that I will, no matter what he says, and I won't lie about it - but that's one little hurdle to get over. Hopefully he'll be supportive and happy that I'm finally doing something.

Thoughts - maybe I should post this on the exercise board. I'm approaching the end of week 3 on program and need to start moving. I'm not going walking in this weather, but we have a Gazelle, stationary bike, weight machine, and workout DVDs. What sounds best? It should be low-intensity right now, right? Should I be breaking a sweat or just elevating my heart rate some?
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Postby bikipatra » February 13th, 2007, 6:29 am

I am so proud of you for being honest with your doctor. I am honest with mine too but that doesn't mean I always do what they say. They are MD's not GOD, although some have that confused. If I were you I might start on that stationary bike. Seems it would be easiest on the joints and a good way to start moving. Remember not to overdo it or you could stall your losses. Maybe try 15-20 minutes at first unless it is too easy and work up from there if you haven't been doing anything physical. JMO. I walk if I can but realize the weather is still permitting me to do that. Oh, and on your off days, start a little weight training. MODERATION is key.
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Postby DonicaB » February 13th, 2007, 8:04 am

Nickie~ you were talking about your fingernails and I realized that I have experienced the same thing. I'm not really a nail-bitter, more of a nail picker. I usually keep my nails short because of all of the typing that I do. My nails have been looking great lately.

Something I have discovered is uddercream. I'm talking the real stuff that you buy at a farm store. It doesn't smell the greatest, but it is amazing on the hands. The hands are so much smoother and softer. I know.....I know.....some of you just went.....YUCK! And I definitely just showed I am a midwest girl since we actually have farm stores around here. But, it really is great for the skin and nails.

I completely agree Nickie, that nice nails makes you feel thin and sexy. I'm really going to work hard at keeping my nails nice.

We are just making all kinds of improvements to ourselves. ;)

DonicaB :bananadance:
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Postby bikipatra » February 13th, 2007, 8:06 am

When I was manic I was giving myself almost daily manicures. I am out of that phase now but need to do a little something because my hands and cuticles are so dry with this weather!
Restart Date: January 1, 2010
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Postby jlaman79 » February 13th, 2007, 8:25 am

Nickie,
You've come a long way and I'm so glad to see your confidence growing! Take it one day at a time, and this will continue to work for you.
Start 285 05/24/06
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Postby nickieluv » February 14th, 2007, 7:31 am

Well, we have a snow day. I was hoping not to because of the musical we're supposed to have tomorrow, but whatever happens we'll deal with it. Even if it means doing the musical on a different day after vacation next week. Life goes on, and it's not worth stressing about, especially since that won't change anything anyway. I was pretty upset about it yesterday, but then I had to accept the storm was really coming and I just got calm about it. I realized I worry too much still about things I can't change.

So, I'm just going to enjoy my day home with my baby and husband and hopefully get the downstairs looking presentable. And actually, apparently it's not too cold out, so we're going to go outside and play in the snow for the first time in her life! Pretty exciting - so why am I hanging around here? :D

I weighed the same today, but that was with my really heavy socks and underwear on so I probably lost 17 pounds overnight. :mrgreen: Just kidding, but seriously, I can't wait to buy non-grandma underwear (no offense to grandmas everywhere - who probably wear sexier drawers than me anyway!!). I have my eye on some lacey ones - can't wait for that day!
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