The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[bikipatra]

Congrats on the loss Nickie! What a great way to start the morning! Have a great day!

[Mike]

Great job Nickie. Keep it up.

[nickieluv]

Yesterday was a good day on-plan. I did get my order, and had a chocolate mint bar and some apple cinnamon soy crisps. I didn't really need a snack but I wanted to taste them. I don't plan to have a snack every day, only when I need it, which will probably be the weekends. But they're going to be nice to have on hand as long as I'm responsible with them. That chocolate mint bar was like candy and I could picture myself going back and eating the whole box in the past - not going to happen this time around.

Stepped on the scale - I felt heavy today so I would not have been surprised to see a gain because I did have a snack and I only got in 60% of my water yesterday - down to 247.8. How long can this go on? It's starting to freak me out - not that I want to slow or gain, but I know that will happen so every day I see another loss, it's kind of like I'm waiting for that other shoe to drop. Plus, losing weight so fast at this point is kind of strange for me - I'm used to it just creeping off. Also I'm feeling a little shaky this morning - but I had to get up extra early for a blood draw so maybe that's all it is. I think I'm going to go pack some medi-crackers in my lunch box for in case it gets worse. Is that a good idea?

Another mini-NSV - I bought a new sweater on Saturday in a size smaller than I usually do, but I usually buy them big so I thought it would fit me. I put it on Monday morning and it fit, but was pulling just a little across the belly. This morning I decided to wear it to work and there was no pull! Already! This really is fantastic - I have all kinds of visions of success and that's never happened before, that I've been so mentally positive of a victory. Thank you MediFast!

[bikipatra]

Nickie, you're melting. Don't question it. Just got with the flow! Now when you weigh less than I do this sh&* better stop.

[Karli]

Nickie, you are doing great !! I completely understand about the weightloss being a little freaky. But, that's what you signed up for, remember ? So, as Biki says, go with the flow .


Cheers to you and congrats on your NSV. Plus, it does indeed sound like you would want to pack your MF cracker snack (trust yourself).

Karli

[DogMa]

Yep, what everyone else said. It probably WILL slow at some point, so enjoy it as long as you can! And congrats on the loss AND the new top!!

[Carrie]

Nickie!

You Rock!

Just appreciate the speediness while it lasts, but be prepared to tough it out when things slow down. You can do this girl.

[nickieluv]

Well, yesterday was day 12 of complete compliance. It's starting to feel natural, and I am hardly having any cravings - although sometimes certain foody commercials will pique my interest, I'm not taking that step of going to get anything, and I am able to live with 'someday if I still want it' as a response. I think that's like what Biki told me once in my January slump about an alcoholic's mantra - not today - tomorrow if I have to, but not today.

I feel really, really good. I am mostly just so proud of what I'm doing, but also I feel physically good. I wake up in the morning and feel smaller most days. Pants that were starting to get really tight are now comfortable. I actually can't wait until I have to buy new ones, because almost every pair has pins holding up the hems because they always rip out on me, and I'm too lazy to sew them up, but the pants I like aren't in my size currently - up where I am they all seem to be stretch pants. Now tell me, why would a fat person want to buy stretch pants to wear in public? So I have that one pair of goal pants in an 18W and when those fit, I'm giving myself permission to buy a few more pair and frickin' burn the ones I have now.

I'm hoping this weekend to buy a new pair of jeans a size smaller than my current pair - not two sizes like the work pants I bought - and that will give me an in-between goal. I'm going to keep my current jeans, though - I like it when they come right out of the dryer and you don't have to lay down to zip them up, I feel like I've accomplished something then. And I've always liked my jeans a little baggy anyway, but the bigger I've gotten the tighter they've gotten - although perhaps that will change as my body changes. I used to only buy men's 32/32 - I was so depressed the day I finally had to give in and buy the big women's jeans, because with my fat the men's jeans were just not flattering at all anymore (if they ever were, but in college I liked to think so).

I'm talking a lot about clothes today - they've been a big part of my memories. I have a box of clothes that haven't fit in years, but they were things I wore on a certain day or to a certain event and I can't bear to get rid of them. Some I would never wear in public again, but it would be nice to put them on one day for the mirror and just remember, you know? I look at them in the box sometimes and they seem so little, and I remember thinking when I wore them how fat I was - I have made a vow to myself to never do that again.

When I reach goal I will accept that I am at a healthy weight. I know there will be days I feel fat, but I will not let myself believe that it's true and not just a temporary feeling. And I will not sabotage my maintenance when the time comes, either. I will not be obsessed about my weight but I will monitor it, and if my clothes feel too tight then I will cut back and not let it get out of control. I will be a success story and I will remain a success story.

Anyway, this all came out of nowhere sort of. I only meant to pop in and say I'd still been reading everything, but not feeling moved to post too much lately. So I just wanted to make it clear that if I'm not around in my journal too much, it's only because my journal is for conflict and crisis usually, and right now things are just going so well I don't need it as much. But I will keep checking in every day, and giving help and encouragement to others as I can.

I have so much appreciated everyone here. I know you are what brought me through January without just quitting for good. Yes, I had to do my own work as well, but knowing there were real people out there who were rooting for me kept me from disappearing, even when I really wanted to. I am here to stay and I will reach goal - and I can't wait!

[bikipatra]

Nickie, glad you are doing so well. Keep up the good work!

[Karli]

Hi, Nickie . Sounds like you are doing very well, and as Biki said, keep it up !!

Post as you like, but just so you know, it's really helpful and inspiring for me to read your thoughts !

Cheers,
Karli

[Serendipity]

Ahhhh, the Medizone. Don'tcha just love it?

Nickie, I used to like my jeans baggie, too, but now, I can't stand extra baggy stuff anywhere. I like my clothes to be fitted. I even wear my sweaters more fitted and don't buy big bulky ones anymore.

[Carrie]

Hi Nickie,

I hope you have a fun time shopping, and I'm glad to hear you're 'in the groove'.

I have that same box of clothes! I look at some of those jeans and I CANNOT believe I ever wore them. It's funny, they say it helps to visualize your goal to achieve it, but I cannot visualize myself thin - I can't get that picture into my head because it's been so long I guess.

Hope you're having a good weekend!
Carrie

[bikipatra]

Ahhhh, the Medizone. Don'tcha just love it?

Nickie, I used to like my jeans baggie, too, but now, I can't stand extra baggy stuff anywhere. I like my clothes to be fitted. I even wear my sweaters more fitted and don't buy big bulky ones anymore.

I usually like my sweaters fitted even at this weight. Makes me have a bustier figure and smaller waist. Too much fabric gathers around my belly. Uh, no.

[nickieluv]

The MediZone, eh? Is that where I am? Well, it feels good here.

I've been very hungry this weekend, and I know it's been that I'm not getting enough water at home. Although at the moment it's because I actually do need to eat. So I'll try to be quick here.

I still feel unshakable. After today is over that will be 14 days of compliance. I know that thread kind of died, for the challenge, but I made it and I'm on board for 14 more. I suppose at some point I'll lose track of how many days I've been 'good,' but for now it's nice to have a number. Actually, I have this little pocket calendar I'm not using for anything and I think I might use it to count compliance. I'm just now imagining the feeling of flipping through the pages and seeing month after month of no cheating!

I've had some subtle shifts in my thinking lately. I remember thinking about Chinese food the other night as I was falling asleep. I imagined being in the restaurant, walking along the buffet, eating the food - and all I could feel was indifference. I had no desire for it because I could remember the 'too full' feeling I always got after stuffing myself and I just don't want to feel like that anymore. I love waking up, experiencing my day, and going to bed feeling comfortable.

Then in a movie my husband and I were watching, there was a scene involving Niagara Falls (Canadian side). That's where we honeymooned, and we go back sometimes on our anniversary but haven't in 3 years. So I was thinking how nice it would be to go back this summer, and of course my thoughts drifted to restaurants. But I actually, again, imagined eating out every meal and it wasn't appetizing. I instead was picturing myself packing MF meals, asking for water at restaurants, and once a day having a L&G.

I don't know what's going on - I still can't pinpoint what's different. I only know that I feel so good, and that every bone in my body is primed for success and reaching my goal. I can't wait to get there, but I'm trying not to be impatient. I just want to stay compliant - and have my little compliance calendar filled up every month. I feel hope - but more than that - I feel no doubts. I can do this. I will do this. And I just don't think I can say that enough, because it is so foreign for me to feel this way. I want to enjoy these feelings and enjoy the ride and not forget about it.

I used to think it was impossible for people (like Jo) to just go on program and stay there until reaching goal. I thought it could never happen to me. But I feel so amazing and so strong that I really believe I can do it. This is just what my life will be like as I journey to thindom, and into maintenance beyond.

So, I know it must get old to hear me being so positive and mushy about MF, but I have to keep saying it. I'm still in shock and awe that it's ME saying and feeling these things. I love it. And now, for some chili (mmmm).

[bikipatra]

As they say in AA, don't get too well too soon. But you sound like you are doing really well.