The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Meal timing will work out so I don't need to eat at the recital - that'll be easier. And I was down about 3 pounds this morning from yesterday so I guess I'm doing OK. Shooting for a real MF day today - 5&1 or 6&0, no extra supplements.

On Disney - I don't know - it might be hard to resist the off-plan foods there. I found some Disney sites saying what you can 'spend' your snack credits on. I thought it was just the basic ice cream pops and soda, which are a piece of cake to say 'no' to because they are just something you can get at home, you know? But it turns out you can use the credits for all sorts of things, especially at Epcot. Maybe I'll save up my snack credits and just snack my way around the world for one day, but follow my original plan the rest of the time. We're heading to the World Showcase on Friday, the day before we leave. Well anyway, we'll see. I think it depends on how I'm feeling about things when we go, after all - I can't predict what I'll want to do two months in advance! But trying some unique foods from other countries is not something I can do any old time at home. And I don't like the idea of going totally off MF for 8-10 days - it reminds me too much of the total loss of control I usually experience around food.

So for right now, the plan is MF every day, except during our table-service meals, and no snacks until Friday at which point I can take advantage of things that I don't ever have the opportunity to sample. Sounds good to me for right now.

Anyway - on to the next day of my no-cheat (which I interpret as nothing off-plan and not bingeing) challenge to myself - my journey through these 110 days is going to be just as close to perfect as I can make it. As long as I can remember why I'm doing this (because it is hard to remember sometimes, when even though you lose 5 pounds in a week you still are enormous) I can keep myself from bingeing. Because I think really, that's my problem. Not cheating, but wanting to stuff myself as full as possible. Obviously trying to make up for some kind of emptiness, which is what the counseling is supposed to be helping with. And I could in theory binge on shakes or bars, but they are so expensive that I can't bring myself to do it. So, no crazy eating!

[nickieluv]

I'd forgotten that I changed my ticker goal weight, too - in case anybody was wondering, it's not my final goal, just my conception goal. And really, 180 would feel even better, because then I'd have a good chance of going the whole pregnancy without getting back over 200. Who knows what can happen in 110 days if you're on plan more than you're off? I've never done it before!

[nickieluv]

Doing fine today - but man am I tired. (Gross-out alert) I haven't taken a shower since Monday night just before bed (so it was like 1am Tuesday, really). I'm in one of those moods where it just sounds like so much work. And of course now I really need one, since I have an event tonight. Anybody else ever get this way? Probably not. I really do like being fresh and clean, and when I'm working I'd never dream of not showering daily. Must be the gloomy weather we've been having or something. Anyway, I'm headed up now to clean up, and maybe it will perk me up a bit or something.

[nickieluv]

The recital went VERY well. Usually there are two groups - the kids who practice, and the kids who don't, and you can totally tell who is in which group. But today the 'don't practice' group seemed a heck of a lot smaller - with only two members, actually, brother and sister, and every recital I hope that those two in particular will see what can be done if you are willing to put in the time. They mean well, but piano is not a priority for them - it's more of a way to pass the time once a week, you know what I mean?

Today for the first time I can remember, I felt proud of not only the kids, but myself as well. I allowed myself to accept that I had done a good job preparing the kids for the recital, and setting it all up - even though I still acknowledge that the kids have to do the actual work, I can see that I have made a difference. I'm sure my counselor will think that is a breakthrough of some sort. I hope I didn't go over the line into egotistical - I just was thinking that I'm a good piano teacher, and I'm doing right by these kids. But to have those kinds of thoughts feels like a sin of vanity or something. That's why this work is so hard for me.

I still haven't done my page of affirmations. I had a ton of good ideas a couple of weeks ago when I was sitting in the counselor's office, but I didn't write them down right away and now they are gone. I will have to do my homework soon, though - my next appointment is the 25th. It still feels goofy as heck to me, but I'll just get something down on paper and then I'm sure I'll get better ideas.

So - recital. Goodies. I had none. But there were cookies left over that I had to bring home, and I was SO thinking 'it's only been a couple of days, having these cookies won't hurt anything, you can just eat them tonight and be right back on plan tomorrow.' Total BS monster, right, Karli?! Well, I decided that I was going to ask my husband to take the cookies to his rehearsal tonight, so they weren't in the house tempting me. Before I could get home, I ran into my nephew and a friend of his, and I gave them the cookies and soda. Teenage boys can handle those kinds of calories. They were pleased and grateful for the goodies, and I felt good for giving someone a gift, and tomorrow I will feel good for staying on plan.

The not-so-good part - well, the silly part - I was sad to give away the cookies. They were oatmeal raisin, my favorite, and chocolate chip, my daughter's favorite. I thought of keeping the chocolate chip ones for her, but I didn't trust myself, and she had already had three cookies. She was just a little upset I was giving away her cookies, but when I told her that her cousin was hungry and we needed to be nice and share, she was OK with it. Plus, I kept the Hawaiian Punch for her - I can trust myself around that kind of thing. Chocolate is another story.

I had a L&G today - cooked onions and peppers in ICBINB spray, then added in 3 eggs. Everytime I do that the eggs are watery from the excess water in the vegetables - how do I get that to stop happening? Not that I have it a lot - I prefer other veggies - but I was trying to use up what was in the freezer. Now I'm wondering if those are on-plan veggies or not - too late to worry about that now I guess. One more supplement, and then, to bed.

I was not good with water today - it was a diet soda day. Every so often I have one of those days. It was about 32-34oz of soda spread throughout the day. I'll be back on the water tomorrow though, and shooting for 3 liters finally.

Lost another pound during the day, between my weigh in and my shower. That was nice to see. If I can just keep winning these small battles, like the cookie thing, then I can be victorious in the end. Not sure what it says about me that I was sad to give away cookies that didn't cost me anything in the first place - but I'm sure I'm not alone in that feeling. Whenever it seems hopeless, I try to remember that Robin can now control herself around ice cream, and the way she tells it that's a miracle - so someday maybe I can be trusted around chocolate.

[nickieluv]

Hey, check that ticker - I've lost a BMI point already!!

I am updating that darn ticker way too much - I've changed it twice today. I used to only move it on the 'official' weigh-in day. I'll probably go back to that as things slow down - but for now it's fun to see that little bunny hop in the right direction.

[oksoonergirl26]

Good job with resisting the cookies! I am not sure I would have caved and had a chocolate chip one.

[Karli]

Hey Nickie, yep, that's the BS monster for sure ! Seems like you're doing greatly ! I understand the seeming-need to be having an idea on how you will handle Disney, because having some kind of plan for then probably helps your plan right now. But, no matter what you do then, you are better off with what you are doing now.

Anyway, wishing you a rockin' day !!

[nickieluv]

I know I'm not supposed to post until the new site is up - I'll just hope this makes it.

Just wanted to say to Karli - I think having a plan does help. Because if my plan is to just go off completely, I am likely to think that there's no point in even trying these next two months. And right now, I think I'll want to eat once a day and have snacks one day. By the time we go, the plan might be different. But it helps me to remember that there is a purpose to the next two months and there is no reason to give up already!

Today is going just fine. I'm doing better with water - going to go fill up the bottle again now. I'm not feeling too hungry, so I might forego the L&G today. We shall see. Whatever is easier is what I will do.

[nickieluv]

Yesterday was a no L&G day, and finally 3 liters of water!! Yay me!! No water today, though - and I'm headed up for a nap with my oldest while the baby is sleeping and I've only had 2 supplements today - I need to chug a shake before I head upstairs. I did have a 7th supplement last night - I went to bed, but my daughter wanted to come in bed with us, and she wouldn't lie still. I couldn't fall asleep, and then my stomach started feeling like something was gnawing a hole through it (it had been almost 5 hours since I'd eaten) so I got up to have a shake. I stayed up for about an hour, wide awake, and then when I went to bed I transferred my daughter to her own bed so I could sleep!

So, in short, things are still going well. I REALLY wanted to eat last night - I was very stressed because the baby just cried ALL DAY LONG with the (short) exception of her nap. I wanted to crunch big time. I had my last two supplements too close together, because I was munchy - but I was very proud that I didn't throw in the towel. My husband wanted to order a pizza but I asked him not to because I knew it would be extra hard for me to resist in the mood I was in. He was nice and did without - but he says if I'm in a better mood today he wants some pizza for dinner! Today, though, I could deal with it.

Well, I must go have that quick shake and then head up for my nap. I hope it's a long one.

[Karli]

Hi Nickie,

I have been meaning to post about having an extra supplement. I had learned originally that basically you shouldn't go longer than 4 hours without a meal, and that if you are up for so long that you would have another, that you have another. I have had to do that a number of times before, because I would wake up so early (like 3am) and I would try to have my first suppy around 4am, and then stick to the rest of my normal schedule as usual. Or, if I am up too late and feeling hungry to the point where I know I won't sleep, then I have another. I am not sure the PB snacks are still allowed, but a table spoon of that has 100 calories (but no carbs) ... so, I figure if that is allowed in a normal day, I sure as heck am not going to get too up in arms about an extended day needing an extra supplement.

I think you did *really* well ! Very good in not having pizza delivered when you think you have may been more tempted !

[nickieluv]

Hmmm. We did do the pizza thing today after all, but I got a salad. I'd never gotten a salad from this place before, so I didn't know what to expect. Sometimes they have hardly any meat on the salads. So I got extra meat - chicken, ham, and also mozzarella (sometimes I will short my protein by 1/3 and have a bit of cheese on my veggie) to try to be safe. Well, it was a lot. And they melted the cheese on the meat, instead of just sprinkling it on top. I should have taken the meat off and measured it - but of course I didn't. I was hungry and in the long run I didn't really care! I know, that's the wrong thing to say. It was pretty salty and I'm sure I've probably hurt my weigh-in tomorrow, but not by as much as I would have if I'd had some pizza (which we all know by now, would have been like half the pie!).

I did learn, though, that this is a good meal for me to get in terms of portion size as it relates to L&G guidelines - just next time I should just get double chicken and no cheese or ham. I did get it without dressing of any kind, and ate it without dressing - but who needs dressing when you have melted cheese?

Well, so, not a great dinner. I'll have one more supplement today, and more water, and I'll go to bed early, and maybe tomorrow my weight won't be so bad. The test will be - will I have any trouble tomorrow with hunger? I was off on my supplement timing today being out of the house this morning - even though I brought a bar, I lost track of time and ate it two hours late. Then supplement 4 and dinner were pretty close together - maybe an hour apart. I plan to have my last shake just before bedtime - probably will have a capuccino actually. But I think as long as tomorrow I do well, things should be fine.

I admire all of you who are following Unca's directions and resisting the urge to post. Even if my posts of the last two days all disappear, I feel the need to type it all out anyway! Hope we're up and running for Roll Call tomorrow....

[Karli]

Hi Nickie, sounds like you avoided the pizza pretty nicely. Pizza's a pretty tough one for me, too, but I actually really like it a lot, too, along with its convenience. One good thing at the moment is that us ordering that is completely off limits because of money as well, not just because I especially don't need to be eating it ! I made a list the other day on ways to save some money and eating less is definitely on that list ! Haven't done a great job of that in these past few days, but being on program can actually potentially save us money when I am really sticking to it !

Anyway, I hope you're cruisin' today . Cheers !

[nickieluv]

Yes, it's funny but MF does really save us money. What is the most expensive, though, is MF'ing for a while and then being off for a while - because my 'off' usually involves lots of eating out or ordering in, and that adds up on the waistline and the checkbook!

Today was just about a perfect day. I felt wonderful, the girls were wonderful, I had a fun day of piano lessons now that the pressure of the recital is over - but some craziness happened in the family with my sister, and the boards were down, and I used those things as an excuse to go off a bit. I was so proud of myself, too, because yesterday I wanted to eat and I told myself 'wait till tomorrow' and then today came and I just wanted to stay on plan - but I talked myself into eating instead. Didn't dodge that last one.

But I am here and on till 10/4 and I'm going to be great tomorrow and I'm going to be back in the 250s by Sunday's roll call. It's just one day, one meal even, and for once in my life it's going to stop at that. It feels so good to have ankles again. I want to keep them visible and not let them swell all up again.

So I am prepared for a 2 to 4 pound increase on the scale tomorrow, I'm chugging water tonight, and tomorrow will be awesome on all fronts - home, family, MF, everything. And if it's not - at least I'll be proud of what I eat.

[nickieluv]

Well - eek - the gain was a bit more than I was prepared for. I guess 2 liters wasn't really enough water to flush everything out - especially when I added to the total with some peanut butter mixed with chocolate syrup, popcorn, and 8 pieces of toast with butter. Yes, 8 pieces, but that is showing restraint - I've been known to have almost a whole loaf before.

The good news is that after being up for an hour I was already down .8 of the 5.2 (assuming 1 pound for clothing) that I gained overnight - mostly water weight I know, but probably some real weight in there with all that food. I've already had my first shake of the day and I've prepared my first 64 ounces of water with an infuser and SF drink mix - yet to drink any of that but as thirsty as I feel it will go fast. The next 64 I'll make with an infuser only - I just thought I wanted some additional flavor first thing this morning. I'm shooting for 3 64-oz bottles of water today - double my usual goal.

I have no worries about being on plan today - I feel like I know how to do it, I know how to make the right choices, and yesterday I feel that I chose to binge off-plan - I was not carried away, I didn't do it 'accidentally' - so today I can choose not to eat that way. And I will make that choice.

[DogMa]

That's still just ... what? One day of binging? Which still seems like an improvement from before, if you stay on plan today.