The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[katesmom]

Good Morning Nickie...
Have a great day no matter what !
You have a great vacation soon and focus on that for now...
So much to look forward to:

SUN, SURF, RELAXATION, PLAY, RELAX MORE !!!

Make it a super day for YOU !!!

[nickieluv]

Here I am. I want to lose the weight, but I guess I'm not ready mentally at the moment. I know, I should just give myself a lobotomy and then I'd be fine. But they frown on doing that as an at-home procedure I think.

Super Bowl goodies were rampant at the party we went to - I had some, but I don't feel all full and yucky. I ate light all day before going there, too.

I look forward to being back on MF. Sometimes I wonder if it's not such a good thing to have roll call here. Reading about Pam's 11 pounds in 10 days can be disheartening. It makes me want to get back on plan to see a loss like that - except I WON'T see a loss like that, and then I'll get discouraged. I can't seem to keep myself from making it about the numbers.

Well, the Steelers have won the Super Bowl. And my husband has, for the umpteenth year in a row, thrown away good money on a $50 per square Super Bowl pool. The man will never learn. The good news is that I won $10 in our family pool, even though I didn't even pay for a square. But I have to share it, I suppose. Maybe I should be playing his $50 pool. I seem to have better luck.

Baby girl seems to have had some sort of problem upstairs - maybe an accident - my husband is throwing things around up there so I'm going to go see what's up. See you all tomorrow.

[nickieluv]

OK, so he WAS stomping - because she saw a bug. Don't ask me why she's still awake at quarter past ten - little stinker.

Part of me wants to start tomorrow, but I'm afraid that maybe I haven't given myself enough recovery time and I'll just be setting myself up for a bad day. I am looking forward to getting up and trying the new workout tomorrow. And after vacation, we're going to keep it up, doing three days a week cardio and two days weight training. My husband will probably do weights on Saturdays, too, but I'm sticking to 5 days a week. Some weeks it's only 4 days, but I make sure it's never less than that. I have some cardio workouts that I'm really looking forward to doing again. My husband will probably just do the treadmill - I can't see him doing a ballet or belly-dancing workout, and those dance-type cardio things are my favorites.

I think part of my problem was that with the exercise, I felt like I should be losing a ton of weight every week. I was also using the Momentum products. I wanted to see 5 pounds a week gone. I suppose I might have, too, if I ever kept it up for more than a few days at a time - eating right, I mean. I know from past experience that if you just exercise and still eat the same, you won't lose any weight at all.

I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow. Maybe I'll start. I just need to get my head in the game - or out of the game, maybe. It's not like there's anything else in the house to eat, anyway, so I might as well be on plan, right?

[katesmom]

Hey Nickie !
Glad to see you here ! You will get back to business when you're ready...Only you know when that will be...But we will all be here to be supportive...I think my 4 pounds off came from a "whoosh" from my TOM that I just finished this past week...That used to always happen when I did MF in the past..

I did not see all of the Superbowl and only made my DH a frozen pizza for food...That way I would not be tempted...

Off to bed as work comes all too early tomorrow !

Have a great night ! Sweet Dreams !!

[ChynnaDoll]

Hey Nicks!! so GOOD to see'ya girl:+)

Chyna

[katesmom]

Good Morning Nickie !

Starting to get ready for your trip??????

Just wanted to say "hi" and hope you have a great day !

[nickieluv]

Thanks Pam and Chyna. And thanks, Leigh, for the PM offer. I have a hard time using the support that is offered to me. I feel like I should be able to do it all on my own.

I didn't start today. I figured I would gauge my mood when I woke up - and my mood was awful. I took a nap yesterday, which was great, but then I was up late. And even when I finally went to bed, I could not get to sleep - I was cold, the baby kept waking up - so I did not get up to exercise with my husband this morning. Three hours was not enough sleep for me. And then my girls decided to be awake at 7 - so that was only 5 hours of sleep total, still not enough. I'm not sure that I'll work out today after all - but if I don't, I will make up for it on Saturday. It's a point of honor with me now. I don't know what was up yesterday, but I really hope I can fall asleep earlier and easier tonight. I'm a miserable old codger when I don't get enough sleep.

So I won't be on today. I'm going to keep taking it day by day. I know I should be on the diet, but I figure it's not really good for my body to keep gaining and losing the same 5 to 8 pounds with me being on and then off and then on and then off. So if I gain some while I'm off, I gain some. I'll need to buy another pair of jeans for Florida. And I'll be the only fat person in our family. But it's MY vacation, not other people's, and if they don't want to see a fat person they can close their eyes. The only thing is that I might not fit on some of the rides with my daughter, but my husband or stepson can go on those with her.

When I start, I want it to be the last time. This round, anyway. I've been wondering if maybe that's part of my problem. I worked hard to lose those almost 70 pounds, and then I got pregnant and they ALL came back on. It's awful. And maybe I don't want to go through that again - losing a bunch of weight, just to have to do it all over again.

But I can be more careful next time. I can watch what I eat better during the pregnancy. I'll be used to exercising by then, so I can keep that up at a lower intensity while I'm pregnant. I won't make the same mistakes with breastfeeding next time, I'll be wiser about that after two babies, so maybe losing the weight will be easier then. And I won't have to stare 100 pounds in the face again.

There are never any guarantees in this weight-loss business. Even if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I might have gained all the weight back. I was already struggling with the diet before conceiving. I only gained 15 pounds with my first baby, 45 with the second - maybe I can hold at the medically approved 30 with the third and not have so much to lose afterwards.

But I won't let myself get pregnant this heavy again. I got lucky the first time. I wanted to be at 160 before the next baby. But I also wanted to get pregnant in August. I can't lose 90 pounds in 6 months, can I? Not at this rate, anyway.

I just want to be sure. I want to know that it's for real. Maybe I'll wait until after vacation, maybe not. One day at a time. It's not today. But it might be tomorrow. I will just wait and see.

[ChynnaDoll]

Hey there Nickie girl! I think it's great that you really wanna be sure this time before actually starting again..GOOD judgement:+)
Now as far as exercising goes..you certainly will get PLENTY of that while at Disneyworld i never walked so much in my life when i went 2 years ago, and i actually loss about 10 pounds..sure did.
Hope you get to go on "Tower Of Terror"..if'ya don'tlose weight walking, you'll lose it ALL just on that ride...LOL!

Have a great day girl!

Chyna

[nickieluv]

NEVER! My husband loves those kinds of rides - he'll go on it with my stepson - but I hate anything that involves falling. If I ever fell out of a plane, it wouldn't be the landing that killed me, it would literally be the fall. I would have a heart attack from fear, I know it. Of course, I'd never be on a plane in the first place. So I don't have to worry about that.

He actually took me on a roller coaster once - made me try it before saying I didn't like it - and I shook and cried like crazy when it was over and the shock wore off. AWFUL.

But I will walk and walk, I promise!

[Joy]

Hi there

Joy here!

I wanted to send you some of the wonderful encouragement you have showered on me ...

I hope you will have a fabulous time on your upcoming trip!

best wishes.
Joy

[nickieluv]

Well, I'm on today. Haven't had my first supplement yet (naughty me) but I did exercise and have water with an infuser. I just wasn't sure what I was waiting for. And all my thoughts of vacation (brace yourselves, this is weird!) had me staying on plan. I literally could not picture myself eating a lot of junk. That's quite bizarre. But if I waited until vacation to try to start, I know I wouldn't make it.

I'm going to try to do what Lauren is always swearing by - mummy. Eat. Exercise. Go to bed. There is no food but MF. I don't know if I can do that. But it's worth a shot.

I feel sort of blah today. Like I'm on plan because I can't think of anything better to do. But I've done a lot of thinking about babies and whether it's a good reason or not, I know I can't be pregnant at this size and my husband won't wait forever to have this third child. He already feels old and crappy and it was a miracle that he agreed to consider a third at all. We have a limited window where he's willing. And I want to conceive in August because then the baby will be born in May and my mother's ring would have two rubies and an emerald. The symmetry appeals to me. Plus the Christmas colors are nice. I know that's a silly reason probably but I know me, and it would bother me to have stones that don't match. Like ruby and citrine or something - yuck! I know, I'm nutty.

So I found a new wedding ring wrap. I traded another ring and earrings that I never wore for it. And it needs to be sized. (I love jewelry, in case you hadn't noticed.) I was thinking that I didn't want to size it twice, so I should just wait until goal to have it done. But then I thought, why am I punishing myself again? Waiting and putting things off until I'm thin? Who cares if I have to size it twice, or three times, or a hundred times? It is something I've wanted for years and there is no good reason to wait a few more years to wear it. I might step out the door tonight and get hit by a car, so why am I waiting to be happy? The jewelry thing is kind of a metaphor here, I'm not saying that's all that will make me happy. But I do that with lots of things. I've been looking for food to make me happy - that's the only thing I haven't put off for later. I keep trying to buy more stuff to be happy, but I don't need stuff - I need life. I need experiences.

I'm kind of babbling again. Sorry. So much for mummy.

So my new resolution is to celebrate success. When I weigh in, if I'm only down a tenth of a pound, I'm going to celebrate that tenth. Instead of saying 'I ONLY lost thus-and-such' I'm going to say 'Yay!! I lost thus-and-such!!' I'm going to stop looking at how far I have to go, and instead look at each little step forward as a big victory. If I stay the same, I can celebrate that I haven't gained. And if I gain, I'll just ignore it.

Well, baby wants another bottle now. Have to run. I've been noticing lately that when I post in other journals, I tend to write something about me, too. I mean that to sound encouraging, like I relate to the person. But does it sound like I can't talk about anything but myself? Sorry if it does - that's not how I mean it.

Off I go.

[nickieluv]

Thanks, too, everybody for your patience and support. And thanks, Joy, I WILL enjoy the trip!

[DogMa]

I don't think it's that you're self-centered at all. Heck, I do it, too (re: the posting your own experiences in other people's journals). Like there, I just did it!!

[Lauren]

Hey, Nick -

Just saw you wrote in Robin's journal that no one replied to your weight-lifting post, but I did days ago...it's been there. Did you not see it, or do I not count? :-)

Welcome back!

Lauren

[nickieluv]

Thanks for the laugh, Robin.

I just had a banana shake (momentum). I actually like starting a little late because then I can eat every two hours between now and bedtime. That helps me keep going the first few days. Although tomorrow I'll have to start earlier since I'll get up early to exercise. Do you guys think that if I just had water with an infuser, it would be OK to exercise, go back to bed, and not have my first supplement until I got up with the girls? Although that's silly because the infuser would keep me from getting back to sleep. So never mind.

I don't feel all revved up about being on plan. I just feel calm about it. Maybe that's best for me. It doesn't have to be a great happy adventure. I just have to do it. The weight will come off and the excitement may come later. For now, just do it.

I love my girls more than anything or anyone else in the world. I want to be there for them in every way. If I am taken from them, I don't want it to be my fault. I want to have more children. And be there for them as well.

Maybe now that my husband has lost the weight, I can talk him into a fourth after the third. He has only 17 pounds to go before he starts to transition, I think. Maybe 22 - I don't remember what he's shooting for. I am very proud of him, and I'd like him to be proud of me. Plus I need to start taking off weight so I can enjoy a little without being so self-conscious. How the man can be attracted to this body I don't know, he's obviously mentally ill or something. But he's so patient with my lack of interest, I'd like to make it up to him.

Sorry for the TMI. The facts of life are a fact of life, though.