The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Thanks Biki and Trace. I say those things to myself - at least I'm trying, I haven't given up - but I worry that when I say them, I'm being too soft.

Today is piano lesson day and tomorrow is Open House, and I'm hoping with the busy-ness of these two days I can avoid the call of the fudge etc. I know I just need to get out of my own head and simply live moment to moment, making the right choice in each minute.

I thought I was over being scared of losing weight - but maybe those butterflies I talked about a few posts ago, when I think of reaching goal, were fear instead of excitement. Or maybe both. I worry that I won't know my own body. That I won't feel like myself. I still have those silly fears that I'm going to feel like I have to act like an idiot because I'm thin - because the people we know are into drinking and partying still, and they are older than I am, and they just haven't settled down - and I guess I think that's what my husband wants and if I'm thin, I won't have any excuse to avoid that kind of scene that just doesn't appeal to me. He's told me he doesn't want that, either - but thin=college to me and it's going to be scary creating a whole new mental picture of myself - reinventing myself as a thin person but not as a kid again. A thin MOM. A thin WIFE. My only positive examples of those roles are fat people. I don't know personally any thin, active moms. OK, I do know one thin, active wife. And she's a dancer so I think it's best I not look to her body and try to emulate it. There lies trouble.

It's been said to me before - stop worrying about what will happen and just allow it to happen. I'll still be me, just thin. And I guess that's scary, too - and why I'm glad I'm getting back into counseling.

[Lizabette]

I hope you have a very good day, today. NICK.

[katieb920]

Thinking about you my friend.
<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_10.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D36%252F36_11_10/image.gif"> LOL

[nickieluv]

Thanks all! I suppose no one will believe this but....

I was compliant today.

I don't mean you won't believe it because you don't think I can do it - I just mean you all must have gotten tired of holding your breath waiting for it!

[katieb920]

Good for you Nickie. I knew you could do it.

[nickieluv]

Thanks, Katie. Love the little bubble gum smiley, too! I only had one piece of gum today and it wasn't the Bubble Yum but it worked.

[Ginabobina1969]

You can do it, Nickie!!

Hugs,
Gina

[queenielou]

Hey Nick,

I felt it all the way in Wisconsin that today was the day for you. I'm glad you made it. The rest will be easy

[bikipatra]

HOORAY!!!

[nickieluv]

Thanks for the smiles this morning, gang!

Today should be pretty easy - tomorrow though could be rough. I usually sail through day 2 only to be confronted with hunger on day 3. But I shall prevail.

I've already lost a bit of that water weight and it's so nice to see the numbers going down again.

I know there's no way in hell I'm making goal by Christmas now - plus I lowered my goal - but I would like to be in the 160s by then and maybe even knocking on the door of the 150s. Hard to imagine losing that much more weight. And then wanting to go even farther after that!

But really, I don't care how much I lose by Christmas as long as I can squeeze into that New Year's outfit.

Can I tell ya - I was actually craving my L&G yesterday. Like I just got sick of eating nasty foods and wanted something healthy. The fact that it wasn't a struggle to eat right yesterday makes me feel good - as if I truly got that bout of noncompliance out of my system and I can move forward again. I'm looking forward to officially claiming that 70# club marker this week or next - I've flirted with it and now I want it! - and then moving towards my own star by Christmas. Imagine it - having lost 100 pounds in a year! It's not as much as I hoped for, but it's nothing at all to be disappointed about!

Well, the world keeps turning and the clock keeps ticking and that means I need to get working now. Feeling good and ready to roll!

[bikipatra]

Imagine it - having lost 100 pounds in a year! It's not as much as I hoped for, but it's nothing at all to be disappointed about!

Well, the world keeps turning and the clock keeps ticking and that means I need to get working now. Feeling good and ready to roll!

I lost 100 pounds in a year from July 06 to July 07. It is definitely is something to be proud of and most of all to feel gratutude for!

[Tawanda]

Nickie good for you on getting yourself back on program!

[Joy]

hi joy here,

It was such a treat having you stop over and leave me with such sweetness and inspiriation! Thank you and I am more optomistic about roll call now on Sunday!

I figure it will take me well into January to make my goal which is about another 33 lbs now. That is 8-10lbs a month and a total of 6-7 months for 60lbs total? I got the time...

[Sojourner]

I don't know what will come up with the counselor tomorrow...

Hiya, Nicks! How'd it go??

((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))

[nickieluv]

Hi Sojo!!!!!

Well, the counselor told me I'm normal. That the feelings I have about counseling itself and about the problems in my life are pretty much what everybody feels. And she gave me a few names to call for marital counseling - because that seems to be the major issue in my life. Our lives, I should say. It's tough when we work different shifts but the names she gave me she thought could see us on Saturday, and would probably take insurance so it might not be a million dollars for therapy. I'm looking forward to that, actually - and dreading it, too, of course. You never know what's going to come out and that can be stressful - but, crazy as it sounds, it would be time we could spend together working on our relationship and that sounds like a heavenly luxury.

As far as MF - yep, today is being tough. I came home and had extra PB with some white icing. BUT instead of ordering something since I 'blew the day' anyway, I'm going to go ahead and have my L&G and the two supplements I'm supposed to have today. There's no need for one bad choice to lead to days upon days of bad choices. Suck it up and move on.

I was up over a pound today and that pissed me off, of course. I was compliant yesterday. I had a late L&G, though, and not much sleep - so I'm going to have some extra water tonight (2 more liters I hope) and get to bed early and see if that fixes things - as much as it can, considering the icing. Of which I threw out the rest, by the way.

I feel good knowing that I made a mistake but I'm not compounding it. Usually I do one wrong thing and then just give up for the day. This is progress!! I KNOW I'm going to show a loss for roll call!

Oh, and exercise - to meet my goal of exercising for 5 of 10 days, I have to exercise tonight and then three more days in a row. To be frank, that's not going to happen. So I won't meet that particular goal. But I will try to exercise at least once in the next 3 days. Then when my next 10-day cycle begins, I'll go for 5 again. The main thing holding me back there is that I'm staying up way too late, and I can barely function let alone work out. I almost bit the heads off of the kids today just because I was so tired, my patience was long gone. That's no one's fault but my own - I need to be disciplined and get myself to bed no later than 10 - and 9:30 is better.

Well, speaking of bed - I could fall asleep sitting here right now. So I'm going to get the baby cleaned up (never give a toddler a popsicle if you can help it - unless you have an unlimited clothing fund), make us dinner, and then try to stay awake until her (and MY) bedtime.