The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[bikipatra]

I'm sorry Nickie, but you don't find it a bit ironic that you hate to journal compared to the length of your posts here? You have so much you need to get out you are about to explode. If she asks her journal, ask why. You have that right. Then do or don'. Therapists aren't gods or bosses. They are there to help. Is something doesn't work for you say so! That is defininitely going to be what I do next time I see my therapist.

[SuzyQ66]

Hi Nickie -
I hope things get better for you and that the counselng helps. At least you are not giving up - you keep trying - that's a good thing.

[nickieluv]

I wasn't on plan today but I did a lot better with my eating. I tried to give away the candy in the house but the darn kids' parents wouldn't let them take it all, just one piece each. I know - as a mom I'd do the same. I finished off what was left and I know that's not good - but it really was so much better than yesterday. I felt calm, and I didn't feel out of control - just like I was making a poor choice. Not sure how to explain the difference because I do know it was still not the best thing to do.

I was on plan for 4 supplements today instead of 3. So it was a step forward. My lesson schedule was all screwy because not all the kids remembered when to come, so I had no breaks because of lessons running off course. Otherwise it would have been 5 supplements on plan. Tomorrow might be the day for full compliance.

And how does it get to be so late so quickly? It's already 10:30 and I stopped watching TV before 9 o'clock. Sheesh.

[bikipatra]

I hope you can stay compliant today Nickie. I wish that for all of us.

[nickieluv]

I feel hopeful today. Not so gloom and doom. I think, even if I am not compliant, I'll have a good day. But I'm aiming for compliance.

Last night I felt lighter and happier just knowing that I had taken some steps to change. It was a nice feeling.

I didn't exercise again today. I'm just getting to bed so late - I need to set an alarm to remind me to go to sleep! Tonight is church choir night so I'll be out until 9-ish. My daughter is spending the night with Grammie tonight so I'll be coming home to an empty house - so perhaps I can go straight to bed. Not that it's her fault I stay up late - just saying, maybe I'll get to bed early for a change and get up and exercise again tomorrow.

[Serendipity]

ATTITUDE

If you say "if I'm not compliant", chances are, you will not be compliant.

[katesmom]

Hi Nickie,
Just stopped by to say hello and offer you encouragement...I have had my struggles recently with the whole comliance thing, saw my therapist yesterday, and feel better...Sometimes it's all about triggers...My
therapist said a trigger could be a time of day, a person, a place, or event...

I know you can do it...I have turned my whole week around because I changed "My attitude" about what I WANT !!!

Here's a hug for ya !

[nickieluv]

ATTITUDE

If you say "if I'm not compliant", chances are, you will not be compliant.

Yes, I mostly said that to cover my a** because I've said practically every day "I'm going to be compliant today!" and so far it hasn't happened. But mostly, my point is that I'm feeling more positive, so even if I fall short of perfection I don't feel that heavy sadness and hopelessness that I've been feeling.

I'm wearing a suit with a lacy cami and heels today so I'm feeling a little daring and out of my comfort zone. But that's probably a good thing - maybe I can stretch myself a little more and be compliant today. That's the plan, as always, and I consider it a good sign that I haven't had any foody thoughts yet today. Other than looking forward to my chocolate mint bar, which I haven't had in months. I hope I still like it.

[nickieluv]

Hi Nickie,
Just stopped by to say hello and offer you encouragement...I have had my struggles recently with the whole comliance thing, saw my therapist yesterday, and feel better...Sometimes it's all about triggers...My
therapist said a trigger could be a time of day, a person, a place, or event...

I know you can do it...I have turned my whole week around because I changed "My attitude" about what I WANT !!!

Here's a hug for ya !

Thanks, Kate. I'm not sure what my trigger might have been for the escalation in bingeing. I'm not thinking much about it, though, because I'm trying to put it behind me - but I guess I should take some time to consider.

I feel different today, though, in a good way. Could it have been something as simple as PMS? I still don't have a lot of experience with that, with how long it lasts. I just finished my cycle yesterday. That seems too simplistic an answer, though. I'll keep thinking.

[Serendipity]

Hey nickster, I issued a challenge with you in mind. Go check out the weight room.

[Mike]

Nickie,

I am sorry that you are struggling... I do too, everyday. Obesity is a disease. Its also an addiction and we struggle with it everyday of our lives. Some don't have this problem, they just simply eat too much too often, but its not something that rules their thoughts.
For people like us, it does.... food is constantly on our minds and we have to make the focused decisions to not fall to the temptations. We have to continually remind ourselves that what we want in the long run is more important than the candy, the goldfish, the pizza, or whatever else the temptation is right now.

Hang in there, and I hope speaking with the counselor helps. We are all with you and behind you. Call on the support you have (and I mean literally call if you need to).

Hope you have a great day today.

[nickieluv]

Thanks, Mike. I have felt better the last two days. I'm still eating the wrong foods but I've been doing it on purpose - if you know what I mean. I'm in control of my bad decisions now. I know that I technically always was in control, but it certainly didn't feel that way.

I've decided (and I was going to keep this to myself but that honesty bug hit me) that for a little bit - meaning however long it takes before I feel ready to move to a next step - that I'm going to eat just packets. But if I want something to eat, I'm going to have an extra packet. That might mean I eat 7 or 8 meals a day, and none of them will be a L&G. I know that's not the right way to do the program, but as a first step I know it is a better choice than what I've been doing.

As I feel stronger I will try to drop down to just 6 packets a day. And from there I will gauge when I feel ready to add in a L&G - which I may not do on any regular schedule. Although I was thinking about going the extra packet route during the week, and then having a L&G on the weekends when my husband is around and we eat together.

I want to make a change but it feels bad whenever I say 'I'll be compliant today.' It feels like a lie. This is something I believe I can do. And maybe I'll only need a day or two before I feel ready to get back to 5/1 - and I know in the meantime my carbs might be too high - but I just can't believe that having extra packets is going to be worse for me than having 3 supplements a day and then eating a horrible dinner/dessert.

So, that's what I'm doing. I know a lot of people won't agree with it, and I'm not saying this is how a newbie should do the program - but I need an intermediate step and I feel this is something I can commit to right now.

On a totally unrelated front - Biki, are you reading? Yesterday I wore the pants suit with lacy black/purple cami and heels - I got several compliments even though I felt a little weird - exposed somehow, even though I was fully covered. So today we have a performance to do for the kids, and I had to wear bright colors - so I am wearing a hot pink t-shirt with jeans and my camo flats. I'm hoping because it's a solid color that it's OK? I wish I had some zebra flats - I saw those on a student teacher the other day and they were so cute! If this is totally looking horrible in your mind, don't tell me until after 3:30. Then I'll be home and won't have to worry all day that I'm not matching!

[bikipatra]

Your style choices sound great!

[Lizabette]

NICK,
I'm wishing for you a good day today!

[aquarianskye]

I don't want to jump in and cause problems. I just want you to know that I have PMS related food issues. I've said it before that I have three weeks a month on plan no probs. For one week a month I'd eat dirt if it had salt on it. I'm making simple of it here, yes, but I want you to know that it could very well be TOM related. So, yes, it could be that simple.

I know I don't know you. I've only read the last five pages of your journal. I don't know you as well as the others on the board do. Bring it up to your counselor when you go.

I also think that with the food thing--you have to do what works for you. No one is made the same. I think that during this process of losing weight we all have to learn to listen to our bodies. And your right--what's one or two more supplements for the day instead of say, a bag of chips, in my case.

Look back every now and then to see how far you've come. I think that without even knowing it you're helping others through the process also. Your journaling has helped me. You've helped me analyze things more closely. Thank you for that.

Skye