by nickieluv » August 4th, 2007, 5:59 am
I was up a little today - 6/10 - but I was not surprised because a) I had my L&G last thing and b) I stayed up until after 2am talking with my husband so only got about 5 hours of sleep. I'm planning major nappage with the baby today. Nowhere to go, nothing to do, a PJ day all the way. I look a fright but who's going to see me? Actually, I imagine I will take a shower and get dressed just because it's been so hot here - it's uncomfortable.
The talk with hubby was - just a talk, really. I don't know if it was nice. We didn't talk about anything important, just things that had been happening in our lives this summer - because really, we have not seen each other in probably 4 or 5 weeks for anything more than 'hello' and 'goodbye.' It's hard to know how to relate to him - because we are really out of touch. It's a project we're working on - we have date night tomorrow, even though we're not going to leave the house - just watch a couple of movies together and the baby will be at Grandma's (maybe - she goes to bed at 7 so that's still plenty of time for date night after. See how reluctant I am to lose time with her? That's the problem with date night...).
I bought some EggBeaters last night and yep - it's a lot of food. So I only could eat like half of it, and I put the rest in a container and maybe will have it for lunch or something. It's kind of nice, actually, knowing that I still have food that I'm allowed to eat - because sometimes I get nervous when I eat my L&G first that I will be hungry later.
I'm pretty shocked that on Monday, it will be my 30th day of compliance. It seemed to go by so quickly! 33 days is my old record. I'm excited to bypass that - triple it - and then keep going as long as I can. I'm sure things would have been easier if I could have been compliant from the beginning - but I do still think I HAD to go through this the way I did, in order to learn about myself and what food is to me - and to work on changing that. As time passes, I feel better about maintenance. I don't think it'll be easy, but I think I can do it. And, maybe even more important, I am working very hard to raise my daughter with a normal relationship with food - whatever that is - but not offering treats all the time, not trying to make her feel better with food - but, you know, her favorite thing is vegetables. She likes broccoli, zucchini, tomatoes (does that have an 'e?'), mushrooms - every vegetable she's tasted she likes. She even likes bell peppers and green beans and I'm sure someday when I can have brussels sprouts in the house, she'll like those, too.
This is not to imply she is not also a chocolate fiend, because she is. Anything chocolate she loves. But those are not things she gets every day, even though at the moment we do have a box of mini-cookie packets - it's been in the house for three weeks and she's had only 2 or 3 of them.
Well, I'm not saying much, am I? Just feeling good about my compliance and a number I'm hoping to be able to post tomorrow for roll call. I have lots more to read here, so I'm going to stop babbling.