The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Mike]

Do. Or do not. There is no 'try.'

Wise words from Master Yoda

Thanks for that post Nickie, it really sheds light on where some things come from.

I too am impressed by Jo (100 lbs in 7 months), Nancy (135 lbs in 7 months), TonyR (160 lbs in 10 months), bdg (190 lbs in 12 months)... all of these flks did the program as it was written and stuck with it. We all can do it, really. I know how hard it is, and have not done as I should, but I am sticking to it.

Lets keep it going.

[Tawanda]

Dear Nickie........you had me laughing at that last line. I didn't expect it and didn't see it coming at all. You have a great sense of humor that pops out unexpectedly. Ever play any comedy roles? I bet you could keep the straight face and get through the scene before the audience knew what hit them.

Nope, I don't want to bonk you on the head....I just wish you the very best that your life can be and wish that you didn't have so many struggles with the food (heck, I wish I didn't struggle with food, too.....so if anyone has a magic wand....be waving it at her AND my way).

How funny that you mentioned ice cream cone........I was outside feeding the animals for the night and all of a sudden, out in the pasture, tiptoeing through horse apples (horse pooh) I thought "this is a perfect night for an ice cream cone". Now I don't know where that thought came from and I gave you the visual on where I was at the moment (and that I was picking my way gingerly through a mine field of dried s....stuff) just so you'd know I wasn't doing anything remotely that would conjure up the image of ice cream cones......... Must be something in the air....

Best wishes to you.

[nickieluv]

Thanks all. I'm doing well today. Planning on compliance for the rest of the day - I think I need to slow down and just take it one moment at a time.

Instead of my 2nd supplement today I had pepperoni. Not lean, obviously. But when time for my 3rd supplement rolled around, believe me, I searched all over the house for something off-plan to eat and realized I just wanted to be compliant - but I keep not letting myself. Fear of failure? Fear of success? Despite what I say I want?

So I had a shake - and for #4, I had a bar (I had been out but my order came today - the lemon yogurt ones aren't bad, and they were on sale big-time so you can't beat the price either). It was too early really to eat, but I've been hitting the water today and I'm sure I can make it to dinner without feeling the need to have something more.

I'm fighting myself here. I have been for a while, and I've known it - thinking too much, eating off plan when it's not really what I want and it makes me feel badly. I do have confidence that I will make it to goal but not because of my cheating. I just mean that I recognize in myself a desire to break through this wall I've encountered and allow myself again to succeed. I don't see myself giving up this time - not for good. I've sort of given up for a month or more now, halfway given up, but I won't let myself just disappear from the boards and call where I am 'good enough.'

Oh, I have a goal dress - a 14 that I got at the store on clearance for $6. My eBay searches didn't yield anything but on a random trip to the store I saw this dress in an 'I almost fit in it' size and it's one I've been looking at for a long time - but it's a lot like two other dresses I have so I couldn't justify buying it. But, it was on sale, and by the time it fits me my other two will probably be too big so it all works out. It's a 14 that's loose in the skirt and fitted in the bodice which is just what I need with my hip-pyness. I'm thinking another 20 pounds should do it. So I'd like to be able to wear it before the summer is over. Because I might be wrong about the 20#, not because I think I can lose 20 pounds in 6 weeks - never fear.

Well, I'm hoping tomorrow is a good weigh-in. I saw another lowest number ever on the scale this morning with a new third digit - if I can get more numbers going down like that, just for a little while as I try to entrench myself better in compliance, that would be a big help to me mentally. Just wishing, not demanding.

[nickieluv]

Confession (oh man, not ANOTHER one) - when I saw that really low number yesterday after eating ice cream - well, I don't even have to tell you what I thought. I had one part of me saying 'wow, you can eat ice cream and lose weight!' and another part (voice of Lauren) saying 'changes don't show up overnight, bodies don't work that way.' So I was up about 3 pounds today from yesterday after doing more damage last night. My experiment was eating carbs but drinking lots and lots of water and that would flush 'em all out before they could deposit. Ha. Such nonsense but that is the extent of my carb love affair I guess, that I'm willing to try anything to get away with eating them. Cookies last night. And almost 200oz of water. Didn't work, I'm sure you're all shocked!

Anyway - I revamped my goal graph today, and instead of focusing on a specific goal I have it set up more like this Fitday thing I think - I'm tracking my actual weight and projecting each week based on my average loss, so as the average changes my projection changes - and when I have a gain, the projection changes as well so that I'm not looking at having to lose 10 pounds to 'catch up.' And I'm going to ask my husband to hide the scale and I'll only weigh in on Sundays for roll call - because all I've been using that scale for lately is as a way to justify cheating when I see a good loss. So if Sunday is a bubble day I'll just have to live with it, and learn that my good habits are more important than a number. Because it occurred to me today that if my scale read 145, and I looked the way I do now with all this flab, I'd still quit the diet because the number was right. So I need to change my focus entirely.

So I'm going to start today by being compliant - we are going to a picnic and I'm going to ask the hostess if she can save out one chicken breast for me and not put any marinade or anything on it. I should have asked sooner because the picnic is today - but if she's already marinated it in something I can just do what Tawanda did yesterday and eat my L&G at home and just have water, and maybe save my bar to have during dinner. Or I can just bring water and a bar and if the meat turns out to be marinated in something I can't define, I'll decline courteously. That way I won't feel so self-conscious - if I knew the hostess better I'd not hesitate but after writing that I would ask, I felt uncomfortable about it. Everyone in attendance knows I'm dieting anyway so it's not like I have quite the same urge for secrecy.

Well, I've been on longer than I meant to - as usual - I've got a good start on my water already today and I am looking forward to taking control and refocusing. I feel strong at the moment and I simply must remember that food is not the center of my universe. I can just as good a time eating MF stew as eating Doritos. A better time, actually, because there's not guilt or regret with the stew. Do you know how many nights I lay in bed and wish I'd done things differently that day, even though I professed to be fine with my choices? I'm sick of that feeling.

OK - off to church in a new dress, feeling pretty slim today despite everything - in control!

[DogMa]

Nickie, how about just bringing along a chicken breast and maybe even some veggies or salad or whatever (I find that the "green" is lacking at a lot of barbecues). If the hostess knows you're dieting and you explain that you were concerned about the marinade, I'm sure she'll understand.

[nickieluv]

That's a good idea if I had any such things in the house at the moment. Right now my lean choices consist of tuna steaks and beef steaks (which aren't very lean because my husband likes all the fat, so I don't eat them if I can help it because I try to cut it off but I always get some in my mouth - yuck!). MF changed the guidelines to say you could have your lean separately from your green, as long as you got them both in, so if there isn't any green but the meat is OK, I'll just have veggies when I get home. I am saving my bar, though, to take with me just in case.

And I'm quite late for my second supplement right now so I'm going to go eat. I feel good about the changes I'm going to make in my weigh-ins and trying to shift my focus from numbers to feelings. Can't go too far in that direction, either, though, or I'll eat pizza every day I'm feeling terrific. Yes, I will - that's how I operate. It's a long row to hoe trying to revamp years of screwy eating.

[HappyHomeMaker]

HI Nicki,
I've been where you are and it seems we are our own worse nightmare!! I hope you're able to break through!!

One thing that helped me is to think , " I don't need that food....It's not the most important thing"....I have a friend who doesn't like to eat...(Ex ballet dancer)...Sometimes I tell myself that ..."I don't like to eat"...ok i'm lying, but it could eventually kick in. kwim?

[MerryMary]

I think the most important thing is to "know your limitations" (didn't Clint Eastwood say that in a movie a while back? ) ... if certain foods trigger uncontrollable eating then we are just fooling ourselves. Self-sabotage is very real and resolving WHY we do that is important for long-term lifestyle change!

Hope you do well at the picnic, Nickie!

[SuzyQ66]

Hi Nicki - hope you had fun at your picnic. It has not been a fun week for me. Compliance - what is that? I got sick so many times this week from nerves which led me to eat off program - you would think that I would just drink shakes - but no I want to create more havoc in my life. But you know what? I don't feel good eating just whatever - today I just felt sick to my stomach. I knew I was starting back on program tomorrow and you know what - I am actually looking forward to it. When and if the stress starts all over - which we know life happens - I will stick to the shakes and just skip my L&G. Easier on my tummy. So Nick - wanna be compliant again? 7 days?? You really helped me the last time....and I am tired of farting around - whatta you say??

[holberry]

go Nicki, so Suz. GO

[queenielou]

Can I play? I haven't eaten any off plan foods but I think I've been eating too much on plan food (lean). I want to be a stickler for the rules this week. I already logged today's food on FitDay. My calories were lower than I expected (I think I wrote about this in my journal, it all sounds familiar) so I skipped the workout and I'm sticking by the rules.

Hope you have an easier time keeping food down this week, Sue. I know you'll meet the 7 day challenge and probably exceed it.

[MerryMary]

Go Nickie, Sue and Queenie! :cheerleader:

[nickieluv]

All are welcome in any kind of compliance challenge! I'm on day 2 myself - my personal best is 33 days of compliance. I'm going to try to double or even triple that! Actually, 100 days is a nice round number - lets go for 100 days!

I was good at the picnic - and there was some temptation in the form of Brie which I NEVER ever buy but LOVE - good news was they had put some kind of jam or something on it, and I like mine plain with some good old salty Triscuits. So I was able to resist pretty easily.

The veggies were completely lacking, but I was glad I hadn't brought my own because it was pretty crowded and I just think it would have been a big hassle. They brought the chicken out to cook and it wasn't marinated - but then they brushed BBQ sauce over it. I figure by the time it cooked it wasn't that much and I don't measure my condiments anyway (I know you're supposed to - I just don't use them that often so when I do, I don't bother about it) so I just had the chicken. I was also behind on my meals so I had a shake with the chicken. Later when we got home I had my veggies and another shake and I was all set for the day. I've been getting in more water than usual for the past few days and I've also had one diet soda a couple of days - the water is filling me up and actually when I've been cheating, I've been uncomfortably full because of the water so I'm not eating as much. I think I see a maintenance secret in the making for me here.

So my husband agreed to try to weigh-in only once a week with me - he's a bit of a scale addict, too, although he doesn't let it tie in to his eating - he's just curious. He also weighs whenever wearing whatever, so of course I tell him that's not very scientific. Well, we didn't move the scale so I've already weighed in twice this morning - pre and post-shower. VERY nice number. So maybe I can just live in that number this week and stay off the scale until Sunday now. It was a number that fit how I was feeling today. I told myself that no matter what it said I knew I was staying compliant today so it was OK to check.

Well, I am staying compliant today. My husband has now got baby fever like crazy. No matter what I weigh we're going to plan for October to loosen the restrictions and go for it - but my projection says I'll be in the low 180s by then and that's about twenty pounds more than I wanted to be. 80 pounds less than with the first baby, though! After all the questions I've asked, I'll stay right on MF until I know for sure I'm pregnant, and then try to do a modified transition (if I haven't reached goal and started it already - you never know how long it will take). You don't need that many extra calories early in pregnancy anyway, and I'll still have plenty of body fat to live off of. I have an OB/GYN appointment this month so I'm going to take the QSG with me and go over my plan with the doctor to make sure it's safe.

It's exciting to feel like I'm moving forward again. Three months doesn't seem like long at all, and it's a little challenge to see if I can crush my old compliance record and my old loss record and manage to lose 40 pounds in that amount of time. I've lost 14# before in 33 days of compliance. Day 2 - let the fun begin!

[SuzyQ66]

Okay Nicki - I am up for the 100 day challenge. Let's go for it.

Day 2 for you - Day 1 for me. Hey Queenie - you in on the 100 days???

[katieb920]

Count me in. I am in in for the long haul.