The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Thanks Sue, Queenie, and Biki. I seem to go through these periods from time to time where I get really introspective and question the program and my goals. But I haven't had such a bad month for cheating since January. January, June - I'll be due for another one in November I guess, in time for the holidays - but with luck by then I will either be so far along in my weight loss that I won't want to screw with it so close to goal, or I'll be pregnant and working on having a healthy reasonable diet without being on MF officially (although I'll still probably use the products, especially those RTDs and bars I bet. For the last two months that's all I've ordered anyway....).

Well, it's almost 10 and I have to go to work tomorrow so I'm going to take my last shake and head to bed. I'll be checking back in tomorrow afternoon I believe. Toodles!

[queenielou]

Way to go on another compliant day

[bikipatra]

I love the way you say "Toodles," Nick!

[SuzyQ66]

Hi Nicki - Just stopping in to see how your day is going. My new thing in the a.m. is starting my day with a tropical punch shake then a couple hours later having a mango/cranberry shake. Just started it a couple of days ago - they are so refreshing - I may have to go back and order some more - I only had one box of each.

[bikipatra]

I had a mango cranberry as my mid-morning meal and it was refreshing!

[HappyHomeMaker]

Hi Nikki,
I'm just stopping by to say "hello" and see how you're doing?

Keep on going!!

[nickieluv]

I'm here and compliant. Yesterday was a full day of work, shopping, and rehearsal, so I didn't have much time to get online and write. Today is day 4 - handy that I started being compliant on July 1st, now I'll always know how many days it's been this month!

I did really well with my water yesterday - hit my 135oz goal - and I had a great loss this morning. Much as I get sick of water sometimes, it has held true lately that when I get in that much I lose well. So I'm going to work on meeting that goal every day, even Sundays. There are 31 days in July so I think I could be under 200 by the end of the month, if everything is in alignment and it's meant to be. I can control what goes in my mouth and what I do, the scale is it's own monster as has been proven by many here!

So I am under ticker by 3.1# today, and because I have the day off I keep thinking it's Saturday, and I'd be happy with that much if it were Saturday - but now Queenie has in my head that I should have another huge week of loss. To be honest, I usually lose only what I gained the week after a cheat, so I'm only due for another 4/10 loss to be back at my previous ticker weight. More than that would be a lovely bonus - so I'm just going to do what I can do - head off to get some water!

I also want to say I'm sorry for not typing much elsewhere - I seem to be needing some time to just get myself straight and well-entrenched in compliance. But I'm keeping up with my reading and the goings-on around here. I hope everyone has a spectacular holiday.

[Lizabette]

NICK,
You mean it's not Saturday?
So glad you are doing so goooooooooooood!
Say, I'm really interested in your and DH's rehearsals. I guess I missed it if you posted it somewhere!
Little more info please. It sounds exciting!

[nickieluv]

Lizabette - my husband and I met doing musical theatre in 1996. His show this year was "Clue: The Musical" and it ended last weekend. I'm the music director for "The Sound of Music" and we are performing the last weekend in July. It's funny but in 2004 I got back onstage after a few years off, and I tried and tried to get my husband to do the same show but he refused - he kept telling me he didn't like doing shows anymore. Now of course I knew better but you can't argue successfully with a stubborn man once he's made up his mind to be difficult. Anyway, since then we keep trying to do a show together but have never been able to. In 2005 I was too pregnant to be on stage (due date was right around the performance dates!), in 2006 there was no show due to lack of interest, and this year I had already committed to helping out with my show and my husband wanted to do a different one. So maybe next year.... We keep trying. But next year I might be pregnant again! One thing I know - the next time we're able to do a show together, it won't be my fat that keeps me from the parts I want! It may be someone else is more talented, or has a different 'look' or voice that the director wants - but it won't be because I'm just too fat to pull off the role of ingenue. By then I might just be too old!

Anyway - I was not compliant on the 4th after all, but I was low-carb. Not low-calorie, though - did you know how many calories are actually IN peanut butter! I was astounded! I've never had a problem before with PB as a snack, but I grabbed a spoonful to have on Wednesday and made the mistake of bringing the jar because the baby wanted some (I guess I can't call her the baby anymore, can I, if she's almost 2?) and one spoon became 4. Still not the end of the world if I could have rebounded and gotten right back on plan - but my husband had some SF candy in the house so I kept sneaking pieces of that - yes, sneaking, another bad eating behavior. Then I kept waiting for him to go to bed so that I could eat - I didn't want to eat in front of him. I haven't had feelings like that in quite a while - my cheating has been all out in the open and I've been proud of that, because it was a big deal for me to let my husband especially see the quantities of food I can consume. Bringing it out of hiding seemed like the first step to ending the shame, and the behavior. But I was literally annoyed with him for not going to bed so I could sneak food. Not sure what the issue was there, what brought that up again. But like I said, it was all low-carb at least, no ordering in or ice cream.

So yesterday I had to go to Walmart to get batteries for one of my daughter's toys, and I had the idea that I'd get myself some SF candy because if I only allowed myself one piece a day, it would be OK. I looked at every blessed package, and then I looked at the calories - 60 calories for one piece of candy. It seemed like a heck of a lot. And I started to realize that I wouldn't have just one piece, I'm not that strong yet. And that having a piece of candy every day would make me non-compliant all the time (although in the strictest sense I'm very seldom 100% compliant, I allow myself some leeway as it is because I don't measure my condiments or my L&G anymore, I just eyeball it). So I guess take me saying I'm ever compliant with a grain of salt. But I do what works for me and yesterday I was honest with myself that buying candy would not work for me. I even tried last night to find my husband's stash but he hid it - boy is that embarrassing, that your husband feels he has to hide food to keep it safe - and more embarrassing that he's RIGHT. Long story short (too late!) I did not buy the candy and I had all my proper meals and water yesterday.

I was up just a touch after the 4th, and today I'm down the lowest I've ever been so far - 207.3. I wish I could be like Jo and the others who were compliant all the time and sped through their weight-loss. I continue to work on finding the strength and committment inside of me to be more true to the diet. But I have accessed the strength and committment that keeps me coming back here time after time even though I fail so often. It may take me twice as long as anybody else with the same amount of weight to lose - but I will do it. Knowing that is very reassuring, even though I'm taking the undeniably harder path. Maybe I'm a masochist when it comes to this.

[Serendipity]

I was astounded! I've never had a problem before with PB as a snack, but I grabbed a spoonful to have on Wednesday and made the mistake of bringing the jar because the baby wanted some (I guess I can't call her the baby anymore, can I, if she's almost 2?) and one spoon became 4.

This is precisely why I was shocked to see that the Medifast guru's put PB on the list.......waaaayyyyyyy too dangerous for me. I would never have survived the 5&1 with PB on my list........it's just wicked!

I kept sneaking pieces of that - yes, sneaking, another bad eating behavior. Then I kept waiting for him to go to bed so that I could eat - I didn't want to eat in front of him. I haven't had feelings like that in quite a while - my cheating has been all out in the open and I've been proud of that, because it was a big deal for me to let my husband especially see the quantities of food I can consume. Bringing it out of hiding seemed like the first step to ending the shame, and the behavior. But I was literally annoyed with him for not going to bed so I could sneak food.

We are more alike that I care to admit. My history is to be a sneak and it's something I will always struggle with......remember the cookie incident?

I wish I could be like Jo and the others who were compliant all the time and sped through their weight-loss.

Ok, I'm gonna post a little motivation for you, nickie:

I lost 100 pounds in 7 months by staying compliant. Lauren lost it even faster by staying compliant. The way you lose when you are compliant makes me think you could be a real fire cracker! How's about just making that decision and gettin' er done! We're all here to cheer you on.

[queenielou]

7 months? Really, Jo? I guess I read that somewhere but now that I'm almost 3 months in, 7 months seems amazing!

I know that motivation was for Nickie, but it sure worked for me too. 7 months? I'm off to read your journal to see what I might be missing. Only 7 months? That is really outstanding. Come on, Nickie, we can do it!

Thanks, Jo!

[HappyHomeMaker]

That motivation worked for me too...I don't think everyone is compliant...I'm not...that's my problem!!

Oh sheeesh I wanted to encourage you Nicki and now i'm not helping...forgive me. I'm going on over to my journal to whine.

[nickieluv]

Wow. I thought, Jo, that you lost your weight in more like a year. That is just even more amazing - 7 months - wow.

I did have really good losses in my compliant streaks. Would it be so hard to stay compliant from now until goal? No - there's the rub. It wouldn't be that hard. I just don't DO it. I let things sway me that shouldn't, I don't keep my goal in sight, I have a pretty short-sighted view.

So far summer is rough and it doesn't need to be. This should be a piece of cake - cheery weather, busy days and nights, fun with the baby, all things that should keep me away from all but compliant foods.

There I go copping out again. I don't need THINGS to keep me from eating, I just need to be serious and take control and care more about myself and not so much about my tastebuds and 'fullness factor' issues. I keep thinking I'll do it when I'm ready and it'll be easy - but I should know by now that only time makes it easier. I have to make it through a week, two weeks, two months, and maybe then it won't be such a daily struggle.

Oh yeah, you could probably guess, another bad day today. On the plus side, we went out for ice cream and I refused to buy any - but then I ate most of the baby's cone because it was too huge for her. Yeah, I know - get serious and you can be at goal! I think I should add a signature line here:

Do. Or do not. There is no 'try.'

Oddly enough, in most things my refusal to see a middle ground is a problem - with MF, that middle ground is really slowing me down. I think I need some of my B/W thinking back for this. Not the kind that says if I blow it I should just quit - but the kind that keeps me from justifying the first little bite that leads me to blow it in the first place. No more 'just this one taste' moments.

I'm still blown away by that 7 months thing. Amazing. I have a little more than 60 pounds to go to get to my initial goal. Man if I will only just do it!!!

OK, I'm going to really get my s*** together on this issue. No more cheats, no more nibbles, no more licks of ice cream cones. I know how to do this. I am stronger than my past habits. I am wasting time and there's no good reason for it.

Plus, it's like a public service for me to be compliant - an act of charity to all you folks who wish you could reach through the computer screen and bonk me on the head.

[Serendipity]

Just to clarify: It was 100 lbs. in 7 months, but it took 13 1/2 months to lose 146......kinda slowed down towards the end.

Hey, I'm all for public service, hehe.

[Lizabette]

Hey, NICK girl, JO seems to have given you the little push you needed.
I started this post to you this morning and didn't have time to finish, so I saved it on WORD to bring it up tonight.
I can see she has done a great job of motivating you.
I'll no doubt change it some now, but let's see it again...

NICK,
I got myself a drink of water and a cup of coffee when I saw your post. Thanks for filling me in on your theatrical activities of you and your DH.
Very interesting and I would think fulfilling your dreams. I'd love to be a fly on the wall as you perform.
As a teen, I had daydreams of becoming an actress. Sigh.
You really seem to be working out your plan in your own way that suits you.
But, it just seems to me that you are making it extra hard on yourself to reach your goal by allowing yourself 'cheats' or 'sneaks' as you call it.
Really, it's not cheating as much as it is making a decision to work it that way.
You have the confidence to believe that you can still reach your goal this way...so who am I to say.
But boy, girl, that's going at it the hard way...at least it looks that way to me.
Yeah, Peanut Butter is one of my favorite foods. I actually try to use it for my L & G, like at lunch. (2 TBS) or if I use it for a snack 1 TBS on a bar.
I really do have to control my urge to keep from eating the whole jar, but I do enjoy getting to eat it.

Okay. It's now again...What a huge accomplishment that JO was able to lose 100# in 7 months. And LAUREN, too! WOW! WOW! WOW!
Not to discourage anybody, but it took me about that long to lose my 60+ pounds.
Me and my slow metabolism, and that was with full compliance with the modified Senior plan.
But I made it, and have been maintaining under goal, going into my 11th month. Almost a year!
Boy, will I have my own private celebration, then!
NICK, I am so encouraged that you are going to make it, too. WTG!