So I am finishing my 3rd day of a re-start X 20... I have a pattern of making it to day 2 and then telling myself ..."oh what's one more day." Only "one more day" has turned into several months and 30 more lbs added to my body... So it's time to start being accountable.....
I started Medifast about this time last year. I was amazed that I lost 30lbs in the first month. It was the 1st time I actually believed I could shed my fat suit. I still feel that way. I know that Medifast is going to be my vehicle for success...but I also know that the answer lies in ending this cycle of emotional eating. I lost 60 lbs last year and then gained and lost and gained and lost 30 lbs over and over again throughout the year. What a humiliating and sad experience. However I have learned more about myself..I can feel the triggers now.. usually stress..which lead me to the fridge.. I've always heard about the triggers.. but now I can actually feel and be aware when it's happening..so that's progress. Now I need to learn to stop myself when it's happening.
I have several reasons for making it to goal.. The most important reason is because I have a 4 almost 5 year old daughter who I am scared to death will carry on this nightmere into her own life... I have to prevent that by being a stronger woman, stopping this cycle, and becoming a better rolemodel for her. I will never forgive myself if I pass this on to her.
I will also be turning 30 in October. I am looking forward to my 30's..I know a lot of people mourn when they say goodbye to their 20's.. I am going to PARTY when I say goodbye..lol I feel like 30 is a new chapter in my life.. and I want to close the fat, miserable, addicted to food, hermit chapter of my life forever. Of course I need to start this new chapter healthy, strong, and in charge of my life. Soooo..it's time to get busy...get committed...and dig the true me out of all of this ugliness.
I started last year at 260. I started this year at 230. Today I am down to 223. My goal is 140....So here we go..