The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Lizabette]

MARY, I so enjoyed the cookie story and your post.
Thanks for sharing...you are indeed Merry MARY!
Say, in case you haven't read it yet, I asked you a couple questions in my journal...

[DonicaB]

The moral of the story-- There are 4 things you cannot recover:
1) The stone … after it’s thrown
2) The word … after it’s said
3) The occasion … after the loss
4) The time … after it’s gone

That is so true, Mary. Thank you for sharing that story.

Your daughters are blessed to have you for a mom. Happy Mother's Day!

Doni

[Serendipity]

Cute story. Sounds like something I would do, lol.

Thanks.

[ChynnaDoll]

Mary wrote:
God is good. and as we say at our church "ALL THE TIME" and he truly IS. You have been WONDERFULLY blessed sweet lady:+)))) That was a very heartwarming and enlightning story Mary..makes one think about things...thank you for sharing it with us. You always add a sincere "blessing" to this forum...chicken soup for the soul!

Chynna!

[ChynnaDoll]

Marrrrrrry...where rrrrrrrrr youuuuu?? Come out and play...i'm miss'n YOU:+))) Hope everything is well with you my friend.

Love,
Chynna

[bikipatra]

You are being quite contrary! We miss you!

[BiggerInTexas]

Hi, Merry! Just stopped by to say Hi!

[MerryMary]

It's been a while since I've added to this journal and since my dinner engagement for this evening was canceled I thought I'd record a few thoughts ...
First of all <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_30_126.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D23%252F23_30_126/image.gif"> for reading the story Mavesse, Holberry, Lizabette, Dona, Serendipity and Chynna and for your affirming comments on it! <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_11_3.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D23%252F23_11_3/image.gif">

Chynna, Biki and Stacey ... Thanks for missing me. Biki, I hope you don't really think I'm contrary!

I receive a Medifast Tip of the Day from the MyMedifast site. The one for May 18 spoke to me and I thought I'd record it here for others to read:

There's No "Bad"

So many of us think of ourselves as “good” or “bad” depending on what we’ve eaten or whether we’ve exercised. Resist making these kinds of moral judgments about your health habits. If you eat an extra Medifast bar or a few bites of pizza due to temptation, you may have set yourself a bit further back from reaching your goals. That is the reality. But you have not lied, you have not stolen, you have not committed infidelity or murder. One misstep on your weight-loss program does not equal the sum of all of your choices and character traits. Keep your pursuit of health in perspective!

And another quote from a book Nancy has referred members to:

Eliminate the phrases that pull you down by changing them to a more positive message ... "I cheated." You can't cheat with food! It's impossible. You can cheat on your taxes or perhaps on your partner, but you can't cheat on your diet. The word cheat refers to something illegal or immoral, and food is neither of these.

Stop using the word "cheat" when you refer to any aspect of your eating plan. Instead, refer to your behavior as a "choice." If you eat a cookie that wasn't on your diet, say, "I chose to eat a cookie today." Maybe you wish you hadn't, but either way, you made a choice about eating it.

In the same way, stop referring to yourself as "good" or "bad" based on what you ate. Since food is not a moral issue, you can't apply behavioral codes to what you do with it. Again, use the word "choice" when you describe your compliance with a food plan. Some days you make great choices, other days you don't do as well. By referring to your actions as a choice, you eliminate the punishing self-message that says you are "bad."

I think both of these are helpful messages because many (most?) obese/overweight people have very poor self-esteem (Notice how much better you feel about yourself now that you have lost weight?). Using negative phrases makes people feel even worse about themselves, even more like failures , whereas using positive phrases empowers them . This is just one way in which we can take back control and gain power over the food we eat!

Usually empowerment comes in stages ... it would be nice if everyone could wake up one day and be perfectly compliant in all areas of their life. But we are human and we are subject to imperfection in that humanity. Taking "baby steps" in attaining control may be the better option for some people. For example ... Someone might move from binge eating off-plan foods to eating too many MF bars in one day. Compliance? No. However there is power in making a healthier choice! Having mastered that, the individual might feel more empowered to make even better choices. To demand that an individual "stick to the rules" or be "100% compliant" may be overwhelming. They might even toss in the proverbial towel--or worse, further damage their self-esteem.

In my training as a chaplain/pastoral minister it has always been important to accept people where they are at and help them grow from that point. But their growth has to be their choice (and at their pace) for it to be life-altering.

As for me, the way I see it, my continued weight-loss success and future maintenance success will stem from my ability to master this power of choice. Making healthy choices will guarantee overall success!

Cheers!

[Lizabette]

Good post, MARY. So happy to hear from you again.
But I miss your avatar!
Are you on maintenance now? You have done so good...

[MerryMary]

Good post, MARY. So happy to hear from you again.
But I miss your avatar!
Are you on maintenance now? You have done so good...

Thank you, Lizabette! I've been busy warding off demons -- as you must know, pastoral work can be both physically and emotionally demanding, however rewarding!

I miss my avatar too ... but frankly, it no longer looks like me so I decided to remove it (if only for my sake ). Perhaps I'll replace it one day with something more current but until then what I've posted will have to do! Works for me ... same hair color, features, etc. I've never been able to justify a digital camera so the avatar will have to remain what it is for the time being.

I am still in the weight-loss phase of the program. (Oops! I see where I caused confusion and corrected my previous post!) I've lost over 70# and my original goal was to lose 108# but I may bump that to 118#. I'm still discerning that. Perhaps I need to wait until I reach my original goal weight of 130. I seem to recall you lowered your goal once you got there--is that right? How did you determine what to do?

Of course I'm already hearing things like, "when you turn sideways you disappear," and "you must be very close to your desired weight, right?" I hear many kind comments such as these and while my stomach is flatter than it has been in (far too many) years, I see myself without clothes and I know there is still work to be done!

[bikipatra]

In my training as a chaplain/pastoral minister it has always been important to accept people where they are at and help them grow from that point. But their growth has to be their choice (and at their pace) for it to be life-altering.

Cheers!

I loved this part of what you wrote because I believe God meets us where we are. So many people think they have to be "better" or good enough for God but he meets us and helps from exactly our starting point.

[Lizabette]

Mary wrote: I am still in the weight-loss phase of the program. (Oops! I see where I caused confusion and corrected my previous post!) I've lost over 70# and my original goal was to lose 108# but I may bump that to 118#. I'm still discerning that. Perhaps I need to wait until I reach my original goal weight of 130. I seem to recall you lowered your goal once you got there--is that right? How did you determine what to do?

MARY, You have already lost more than I have. I admire you very much. Congratulations!
Your original goal of 130# sounds good right now. How tall are you? That would make a difference.
Mine was 135#. After I maintained that for several months, I liked the idea of getting down to 130#.
By that time, I pretty well knew what to do and it was not difficult.
That is about where I am now, a tad above.
I feel and look good at this weight...but it is a constant challenge.
Seems like eating the same way, it still wavers, but that could be attributed to a number of things, as you know.
You have a great attitude, and you will get to where you want.

[MerryMary]

In my training as a chaplain/pastoral minister it has always been important to accept people where they are at and help them grow from that point. But their growth has to be their choice (and at their pace) for it to be life-altering.

Cheers!

I loved this part of what you wrote because I believe God meets us where we are. So many people think they have to be "better" or good enough for God but he meets us and helps from exactly our starting point.

It's sometimes baffling to our human senses, but you are soooo right, Biki--God's love is constant and unconditional--we can't earn it, we already have it! If God is for us, who can be against us? ~Romans 8:31b

[MerryMary]

Mary wrote: I seem to recall you lowered your goal once you got there--is that right? How did you determine what to do?

MARY, You have already lost more than I have. I admire you very much. Congratulations!
Your original goal of 130# sounds good right now. How tall are you? That would make a difference.
Mine was 135#. After I maintained that for several months, I liked the idea of getting down to 130#.
By that time, I pretty well knew what to do and it was not difficult.
That is about where I am now, a tad above.
I feel and look good at this weight...but it is a constant challenge.
Seems like eating the same way, it still wavers, but that could be attributed to a number of things, as you know.
You have a great attitude, and you will get to where you want.

Thank you, Lizabette, for the affirmation and the information! Realistically, I've lost more than you have only because I've got more to loose! I'm only 5'2" and a weight of 120# would put me at the mean of the "healthy weight" charts, which is why I'm considering it. Of course age also determines what is considered healthy and I'll be 60 in October.<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_8_138.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D15%252F15_8_138/image.gif"> I think you're right though, it's really all about at what weight you feel best, isn't it?

I have a doctor's appt. this week--a wellness check--so I may discuss it with him then.

[Lizabette]

[quote=Thank you, Lizabette, for the affirmation and the information! Realistically, I've lost more than you have only because I've got more to loose! I'm only 5'2" and a weight of 120# would put me at the mean of the "healthy weight" charts, which is why I'm considering it. Of course age also determines what is considered healthy and I'll be 60 in October.<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_8_138.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D15%252F15_8_138/image.gif"> I think you're right though, it's really all about at what weight you feel best, isn't it?
I have a doctor's appt. this week--a wellness check--so I may discuss it with him then.

MARY, my dear, you are young! compared to my 77. I am almost 5'1" (I've shrunk from 5'2")
Yes, please discuss with the doctor about a good weight for your age.
He should be very pleased about your weight loss and I'll bet your other statistics are good, too.
I am proud of you for 'catching' this before you get older and will have a long time to enjoy your new life as a thinny, healthy girl!
I yoyoed for so many years of my life, never letting myself above 200, before I was scared into another diet.
Im so glad I found Medifast, which worked better for me than any other.
I believe the support from this forum also contributed much to my motivation and success.
So here we are, doing our best to make our last years our very best. WTG!