The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[SuzyQ66]

Mary - what a wonderful NSV. I am so happy for you.

[MerryMary]

I believe I tried to minimalize the comment because I was conscious of two of my closer friends' reactions when compliments about my weight loss are given. Neither of them have a weight problem. One of them usually just changes the subject when she hears a compliment coming my way.
Mary

I wrote the above about a week ago ... and I want to give an update because I think I may have projected something that was not there.

Last night I went to a church meeting and my friend (the one mentioned above who changed the topic) picked me up. When I got into the car she said, "Wow, you are really looking nice! That program is really working for you--isn't that great!!"

At the meeting I was speaking to another woman I know from church who has not seen me in a long time. About 3 minutes into our conversation she said, "Mary, you look so different--what is it? Have you changed your makeup? Have you gotten skin treatments?" I'm so glad she didn't suggest I got a face lift!

Both these conversations made me realize something. Obviously as we lose weight we feel begin to feel good, not only physically but our self-esteem also gets a recharge. Why not? We are doing something really beneficial for ourselves! But when others look at us they may not notice the details of our change. Perhaps when we were at our top weight they never really saw us as negatively as we saw ourselves! Refecting this way has helped me to realize people are generally nice and sometimes we make more of their comments (or lack of comments) than we should!

End of self-preaching ...

Mary

[holberry]

Mary, I like what you wrote about recharging your self esteme! Your right, we do read, or I read more into peoples' comments than needed.
got to remember that!
Have a great day Mary.
HB

[DonicaB]

Perhaps when we were at our top weight they never really saw us as negatively as we saw ourselves!

Mary~ I think there is definitly some truth to this statement. I mean when I think about my friends who are obese/overweight, I don't think of them in a negative manner at all. I rarely even think about them as being overweight, because I look at them for who they are on the inside not on the outside. That doesn't mean that I don't notice their weight or that I'm not concerned about them. It just means that I don't see them in a negative way. They are my friends and I love them for who they are.

Maybe we need to learn to lighten up on ourselves and others. What we hear is not always what was said. I need to remember that too.

Donica

[Tawanda]

I've been mulling this statement over, since reading it, also and find a lot of truth in it.

Thank you Mary for thinking to share it in your journal.

[MerryMary]

Mary, I like what you wrote about recharging your self esteme! Your right, we do read, or I read more into peoples' comments than needed. got to remember that!
HB

I've been mulling this statement over, since reading it, also and find a lot of truth in it.
Thank you Mary for thinking to share it in your journal.

No prob, Tawanda.

Thank you both for the affirmation!

[MerryMary]

Perhaps when we were at our top weight they never really saw us as negatively as we saw ourselves!

Mary~ I think there is definitly some truth to this statement. I mean when I think about my friends who are obese/overweight, I don't think of them in a negative manner at all. I rarely even think about them as being overweight, because I look at them for who they are on the inside not on the outside. That doesn't mean that I don't notice their weight or that I'm not concerned about them. It just means that I don't see them in a negative way. They are my friends and I love them for who they are.

Maybe we need to learn to lighten up on ourselves and others. What we hear is not always what was said. I need to remember that too.

I like how you've elaborated on what I initially said, Donica. Like you, I try to see the good in people--what I value about them is the essence of who they are and not how they look. I imagine that when our reclaimed self-worth (our inner joy) bubbles to the surface it leaves people wondering ... What is different? Some will simply ask, others may remain silent. Frankly, I prefer silence to a backhanded compliment! It is certainly more honest!

Mary

[MerryMary]

LOL! I was doing a little laundry--I'll be doing that more frequently since my transition clothes are few in number--and I realized something. I used to dry my clothing (especially cottons) on medium heat so they wouldn't shrink. Today I washed and dried on HOT hoping a little shrinkage would occur!! It sure feels wonderful!

[nickieluv]

That's pretty cute, actually. I should have thought to try that before I gave away so many things!

[MerryMary]

That's pretty cute, actually. I should have thought to try that before I gave away so many things!

Yeah ... wouldn't it be neat if a hot shower would do the same for us! LOL

[DonicaB]

Yeah ... wouldn't it be neat if a hot shower would do the same for us! LOL

Mary~ wouldn't that be great!!!! However, I should already be skinny if that worked because I like hot showers.

Donica

[KeleeGrl]

Is that why my DH takes such hot showers!??? ...that's how men lose so fast!

[MerryMary]

Yesterday I spent several hours finalizing my pre-employment requirements for my PRN position as a Chaplain in a children's hospital. I did my residency there last year and was delighted (and honored) to be invited back. As part of the requirements I had to have a check-up at employee health. Interestingly enough I had the same nurse who I had last year. The first thing she said was, "I see we have a smaller version of Mary now! That's wonderful!" It's always nice to receive a NSV like that but there was even more ... When she got around to taking my blood pressure I stated how I was interested to see if my weight loss affected it. I've never had a high-blood pressure problem and my last employee check-up it was 128/82. When she took it her eyes lit up and she said, "110/60! My, my girl, that is fantastic!! Keep up the good work!"

As I said, it's nice to get the NSVs about appearance. But I am not on MF for that or for what anyone thinks about my weight loss. I am on MF for a healthier body/life and my healthier blood pressure was one the best NSVs since I've been able to eliminate the need for one of my arthritis meds!!

[bikipatra]

WOW! What fantastic news!

[Pashta]

That is great to hear!