The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DogMa]

Hey, Mary, just wanted to say hi and thanks for stopping by my journal. I REALLY needed to read something encouraging this morning, after stewing all night about some of the comments made yesterday.

[Out*With*The*Old]

Wanted to give ya a wave ! I was drooling over our scale fairy and it made me think of you....the fairy, not the drooling -

[ChynnaDoll]

Hey Mare ...just coming over to holla'at'cha! Hope everything is just peacy'keen your way, and PLEASE make that sexy fairy come visit me tonight JUST to come visi cuz i'm alright with the weight thing right now...lol! Still praying for you and your family, and especially mom.

Take care girl...ttyl!

Chynna

[DonicaB]

Mary~ Just wanted to stop by and say Hello Congratulations on getting to your goal since I've been away. You have done superb.

Doni

[MerryMary]

Mary~ Just wanted to stop by and say Hello Congratulations on getting to your goal since I've been away. You have done superb.

Thank you, Doni! I've really missed your presence on the board and I'm glad you're back! Don't look back ... look ahead to your goal. YOU CAN DO THIS TOO!

[Diana]

Hiya, Mary. Thank you for the wonderful impact you have on so many lives through this forum. I can't wait til I can join you, et al, in maintenanceland.

[MerryMary]

Hiya, Mary. Thank you for the wonderful impact you have on so many lives through this forum. I can't wait til I can join you, et al, in maintenanceland.

Thank you, Diana! You are doing so well ... Keep up the great work and you too will be a maintainer! Just think "little" ...
<img src="http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c139/Chelsea2816/Weight.jpg" border="0" alt="Weight">

[MerryMary]

After several spring-like days and weather in the 70-80's it's gotten quite chilly today. They say the high will only be about 50. Still, Spring is in the air and we had a wonderful lightening/thunderstorm during the night which should awaken the sleeping trees before too long. I know it kept my two cats awake because they woke me up seeking comfort in their anxiety!

I began to think how anxiety can sometimes bind relationships (in healthy and unhealthy ways) and othertimes exacerbate conflict. We see it in our homes, extended family, schools and our world. Even this forum suffers occasionally from the effects of anxiety. And so, when I opened my email and found a "Daily Reflection" I subscribe to I thought, "How apropos!" I'm posting it in my journal for "safekeeping."

February 12, 2008
Tearing Down To Rebuild
Rethinking Complaining
We all know someone who has elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. In its more evolved form, complaining is simply the ability to see what’s not working, in one’s own life or in the external world, and it can be quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion—finding a solution and applying it. However, many of us don’t get that far, and we find that complaining has become an end in itself. In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if complaining has become a huge part of our identities, it may be time to take a good look at how we are spending our energy.

Complaining is a person’s way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are. In a metaphorical way, when we complain or criticize, we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new. But if all we do is tear down, never bothering to summon the creative energy required to create something new, we are not fulfilling the process. In fact, we are at risk for becoming a stagnant and destructive force in our own lives and in the lives of the people we love. Another issue with complaining is that we sometimes tend to focus on other people, whom we can’t change, as a way of deflecting attention from the one person we can change—ourselves. So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action.

When we find ourselves complaining, the last thing we need to do is get down on ourselves. Instead, we can begin by noticing that we are in the mode of wanting to make some changes. But rather than lashing out at somebody or an organization, we can look for an appropriate place to channel this energy—not our neighbor’s house, but possibly parts of our own. Finally, we can ask ourselves the positive question of what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we want to tear down. When we do this, we channel a negative habit into a creative process, thus using our energy to change the world around us in a positive way.

I hope everyone has a blessed day!

[rodeomom]

February 12, 2008
Tearing Down To Rebuild
Rethinking Complaining
In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if complaining has become a huge part of our identities, it may be time to take a good look at how we are spending our energy.

Complaining is a person’s way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are... So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action.

Finally, we can ask ourselves the positive question of what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we want to tear down. When we do this, we channel a negative habit into a creative process, thus using our energy to change the world around us in a positive way.

I hope everyone has a blessed day!

Thank you Mary!!!What I quoted up there are the words that truly blessed me! I appreiciate you sharing that. Here is to hoping that others will find it as much a blessing as I did.

[MerryMary]

February 12, 2008
Tearing Down To Rebuild
Rethinking Complaining
We all know someone who has elevated the process of complaining to a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the ability to find a problem just about anywhere. In its more evolved form, complaining is simply the ability to see what’s not working, in one’s own life or in the external world, and it can be quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion—finding a solution and applying it. However, many of us don’t get that far, and we find that complaining has become an end in itself. In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if complaining has become a huge part of our identities, it may be time to take a good look at how we are spending our energy.

Complaining is a person’s way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the way things are. In a metaphorical way, when we complain or criticize, we are tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new. But if all we do is tear down, never bothering to summon the creative energy required to create something new, we are not fulfilling the process. In fact, we are at risk for becoming a stagnant and destructive force in our own lives and in the lives of the people we love. Another issue with complaining is that we sometimes tend to focus on other people, whom we can’t change, as a way of deflecting attention from the one person we can change—ourselves. So transforming complaining into something useful is a twofold process that begins with turning our critical eye to look at things we can actually do something about, and then taking positive action.

When we find ourselves complaining, the last thing we need to do is get down on ourselves. Instead, we can begin by noticing that we are in the mode of wanting to make some changes. But rather than lashing out at somebody or an organization, we can look for an appropriate place to channel this energy—not our neighbor’s house, but possibly parts of our own. Finally, we can ask ourselves the positive question of what we would like to create in the place of whatever it is we want to tear down. When we do this, we channel a negative habit into a creative process, thus using our energy to change the world around us in a positive way.

I'm glad you liked it, Brenda! I like preserving reflections like this one in my journal ... and if it helps someone else--even better!

[Serendipity]

Translation: Psychobabble for standing by and watching cruel and nasty behavior just happen instead of standing up for what you know is right? I'm confused....not complaining though. I'd rather be confused than take part or stand by and watch it.

[holberry]

I read alot of metaphors in this passage.
One can not stand by and do nothing when others are being hurt.

[MerryMary]

Translation: Psychobabble for standing by and watching cruel and nasty behavior just happen instead of standing up for what you know is right? I'm confused....not complaining though. I'd rather be confused than take part or stand by and watch it.

Sorry you are confused, Jo ... perhaps that's why you call it "Psychobabble?" Being an integral part of psycho-social services I should be offended by such a dismissive remark ... but I respect your right to think whatever you wish.

[Serendipity]

Being an integral part of psycho-social services

I guess this confuses me even more. How a person in an 'integral part of psycho-social services" can be so cruel to a person who obviously needs help. That's what confuses me. It's not your posts. I get them, believe me.

[MerryMary]

I read alot of metaphors in this passage.
One can not stand by and do nothing when others are being hurt.

I agree.