The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[MerryMary]

I hadn't thought about keeping the Support in Motion stuff in my journal! Great idea, Mary! I love the My Plan section!

Thank you, too, for the inspiration I gather from your posts. I'm really glad you're part of the MMT family and I can't wait to meet you in Orlando (if not sooner)!!

If you and Mike ever travel to the Dallas area let me know--It would be wonderful to meet y'all!

I am looking forward to the TSFL conference in Orlando too! It was too short notice for me this year and with my monthly trips to Chicago I didn't want to be away that much. I simply love Orlando and know we will have an informative, insightful and wonderful time!

[MerryMary]

Hi !
iam up early and wanted to say hello !
I'm a newbie here and hope you have a great day !

Hi Katesmom!
Welcome! It appears you are off to a dynamic beginning!
Keep up the good work ... it adds up quickly and before you know it you won't recognize YOU!

[MerryMary]

I'm approaching the end of the weight-loss phase of this marvelous journey to health. I have more energy then I thought was possible and I feel wonderful. Even the emotional struggles that I encounter with family and work don't seem to have a hold on me --- not a "foody" hold anyway!

I realized something yesterday about self-care and how I've chosen to provide that for myself in the past. Food has very often been a "feel good" choice. I see a lot of pain and suffering at the hospital--and as much as I enjoy the ministry I do the negative effects of witnessing families whose lives are being ripped apart by life threatening illnesses and death are constantly present.

When I finished my shift yesterday I thought I'd do some shopping --- I worked the "deep night" and my emotion-packed day was coming to a close. But it was a new day, a bright and sunny new day, for the clerks and shoppers at the store. That kind of cheered me up. I'm beginning to build a fall wardrobe but I still look at the sales racks filled with summer discounts. I had fun trying things on in the fitting room -- especially when I had to ask the sales associate to find something in a smaller size! While I'm pretty solidly in a size 8 now (not bad for someone who wore a size 24 a year ago!) occasionally I need a 10. But there was one pair of capris in a size 6 that I REALLY liked. I thought, "Mary, who are you kidding! They can't possibly fit--they are only a 6!" But they did! I ended up purchasing several things ... very happy with my selections (and bargains ).

When I got home I realized something. I have a new "feel good" habit--shopping! Now that might not sound like a bad thing and in some ways it isn't since my closet is pretty empty. Still, I am a "less is more" kind of person ... I don't like having "lots of stuff" that clutter my life. I'm certainly happy that I am no longer driven to eat when I need a lift but shopping can't be the answer for me either!

I'll have to think of some other healthy alternatives ... hmmm...

[nickieluv]

Wow. Size 6, 8, 10 - and a new habit to boot! Shopping can be an addiction, too, as you know, so be careful. But as long as your closet is pretty empty and you can afford to shop - have a blast!!!!

[MerryMary]

Wow. Size 6, 8, 10 - and a new habit to boot! Shopping can be an addiction, too, as you know, so be careful. But as long as your closet is pretty empty and you can afford to shop - have a blast!!!!

You are sweet!
Still, although shopping is a healtier alternative than eating, it is not the best solution for me. Like I said, I am a less is more kind of gal.

Any ideas?

[bikipatra]

So Mary when do we get to see your great results in the Studio? I'm really excited to see the changes. You're not camera shy, are you?

[bikipatra]

Wow. Size 6, 8, 10 - and a new habit to boot! Shopping can be an addiction, too, as you know, so be careful. But as long as your closet is pretty empty and you can afford to shop - have a blast!!!!

You are sweet!
Still, although shopping is a healtier alternative than eating, it is not the best solution for me. Like I said, I am a less is more kind of gal.

Any ideas?

It's hard to come up with ideas because through your ministry you are already helping so many people. When I was in Dallas and people celebrated AA anniversaries they would do things like bake cupcakes and take them to Magdalen House, which depends on donations to stay open. That's a free detox for women over in East Dallas.

[nickieluv]

What if you treated yourself to something you've always wanted to do, but never took the time for? Like learning to play an instrument, or acting in a play - sorry, I'm a music person so those are the things I think of. But it would take up a lot of time and having a new skill could be something you use in ministry, too.

[bikipatra]

Those are good ideas, Nickie. I have already decided that I am taking Shakespearean acting classes for my goal present to myself. I acted in middle school and high school and was a finalist in the English Speaking Union's Shakespeare Recitation Contest so I am quite excited to return to something I loved.

[MerryMary]

What if you treated yourself to something you've always wanted to do, but never took the time for? Like learning to play an instrument, or acting in a play - sorry, I'm a music person so those are the things I think of. But it would take up a lot of time and having a new skill could be something you use in ministry, too.

You are truly an inspriation, Nickie! I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano (I played the accordion when I was a child, it was cheaper than a piano). And another thing I could do that would be helpful in ministry would be to brush up on my Spanish!

Thanks!

[queenielou]

Both of those - piano and Spanish lessons - sound like great ideas to reward yourself, Mary. I would love to learn to play the piano someday, too. I'm a bit ashamed because I took Spanish for 4 years and still can't speak it. My goals when I came to Wisconsin were to actually learn Spanish and learn how to swim - in addition to getting my PhD - before I leave. Swim lessons start September 9!

Oh, and a belated congrats on the small clothes sizes

[MerryMary]

Both of those - piano and Spanish lessons - sound like great ideas to reward yourself, Mary. I would love to learn to play the piano someday, too. I'm a bit ashamed because I took Spanish for 4 years and still can't speak it. My goals when I came to Wisconsin were to actually learn Spanish and learn how to swim - in addition to getting my PhD - before I leave. Swim lessons start September 9!

Oh, and a belated congrats on the small clothes sizes

Thanks Queenie!

Yeah, I like the idea of brushing up on my Spanish too. The Hispanic population is large (and growing) in my area. I usually have to use an interpreter at the hospital. It makes ministry less personal, I think. Don't feel bad about your Spanish studies and your inability to speak the language. I've studied 3 years in HS and 2 in college (and went to Mexico for an immersion class for 6 weeks) and still struggle! But never have I really WANTED so much to be bilingual as I do now. Timing can mean everthing.

Good luck on the swimming lessons! It's such great exercise.

[MerryMary]

There seemed to be some interest when, in Biki's journal, I mentioned the old saying "Depression is anger turned inward." Since eating disorders are closely related to depression and suppressed anger I thought I'd post this article in my journal for future reference. Interesting ...

Anger turned inward is depression
By Marla Cilley
When you finally have reached the absolute bottom and you think there is no place to go, there are always two more places.
You can give up entirely and be planted six feet under or you can scream out for help and start pulling yourself up.

You have a choice. The difference is you have to get mad and scream and not give up.

Anger is not a bad emotion. As women, we have been taught to just take it and not explode. Exploding with anger is rage, and rage is not OK, but giving yourself permission to be upset and angry is a good thing as is telling the person you are angry at about it. When you keep it in it is like poison. So what do we do to ourselves? We turn anger into sad, and we feel sorry for ourselves for being mistreated. Then what? The anger goes to sad and then to depression. We eat to make the hurt go away or sleep to avoid.

It is all our perfectionism again sandwiched with that procrastination that paralyzes us into depression. I can see you all shaking your heads at me. "How can perfectionism be the foundation to my feeling bad?" Well, here is how it all fits together.

When something goes wrong in our lives and we can't fix it; what do we do. We can't fix it to make it right again or we can't change the other person; we want everything back the way it was. Do you see the perfectionism rearing its ugly head? We do everything in our power to control the issues. And make it all better. Only to be shot down time and time again. So if we can't do it right, what do we do? We were taught to do nothing. I wish that was all we would do, but we turn it inward to abuse ourselves.

When we are unable to fix things we begin to feel guilty because of our inability to make things right or perfect. We then start to beat ourselves up. It is bad enough when we have been abused by others but now we are abusing ourselves.

This is why anger is good. It is focused toward someone else and not yourself. Now, it is not good to be angry all the time, because you are in fight-or-flight mode, and when you really need to scream out for help you will not be able to. Adrenaline is an amazing body chemical. It is a power surge that supplies the energy right when you need it. This is how a mother can lift a car off of a child. I have said it many times: "Too much of a good thing can be bad for you." Try eating a whole chocolate cake.

I have a good supply of adrenaline now. At one time I was totally depleted of my resources. I used them all up by always being upset and walking on eggshells. The adrenaline kept me from feeling what was happening inside my own body. It was a drug.

Anger can free you if used sparingly. Focus justified anger toward what is making you angry, not at yourself. Do what you need to do to take care of the situation. Don't turn it inward to punish yourself when you can't fix it. You are not responsible for anyone but you. Let go of the guilt, pain and stress. Be good to yourself by getting angry at the right person. Then let it go and get on with your life. You have a job to do. And if you stick around, the breeze will come your way and you will set out on your journey.

So what anger have you been turning inward?

[Mickeyz]

Thanks so much for posting the "Anger Turned Inward" article. Much to learned there!

[MerryMary]

Thanks so much for posting the "Anger Turned Inward" article. Much to learned there!

You're welcome Mickey. Google pulled up a lot of articles on that same topic if you care to read more ... I first heard the phrase when I was doing my clinical training. It was eye-opening!