The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[peabodycat]

i'm completely astounded everytime i log onto this forum. the advice, shared experiences, wisdom all help me every day. thank you all so much! i think the line that's going to stay with me this week is "maintenance is one big plateau". (thanks to serendipity!!) WOW! i've often struggled with the idea of how i would handle my life after medifast. i'm frightened that i'll go back to the way i used to eat, and gain. but that line in quotes (along with many other things i've read here) is helping me to change my mindset, which is the whole point of this exercise. a permanent change in my life. putting away the old life, and learning to live a new one.

[Serendipity]

Glad to be of service, peabody.

[MerryMary]

:D
i'm completely astounded everytime i log onto this forum. the advice, shared experiences, wisdom all help me every day. thank you all so much! i think the line that's going to stay with me this week is "maintenance is one big plateau". (thanks to serendipity!!) WOW! i've often struggled with the idea of how i would handle my life after medifast. i'm frightened that i'll go back to the way i used to eat, and gain. but that line in quotes (along with many other things i've read here) is helping me to change my mindset, which is the whole point of this exercise. a permanent change in my life. putting away the old life, and learning to live a new one.

Congrats on the 60# loss Peabody! WTG! Looks like you need to be put in a new club-60# Club

You hit the nail on the head ... if you go back to eating like you did before you WILL gain the weight back (and then some ). There are people on this forum that can vouch for that!

Losing weight is only the 1st step in becoming healthy. In addition, as you so keenly realize, there must be a change in mindset--a lifestyle change. More often than not that means coming to terms with that which caused us to overeat in the first place! Here is a book that Nancy has recommended and I think it bears repeating again:
Life is Hard, Food is Easy by Linda Spangle, RN, MA

There IS a lot of wisdom and experience expressed in this forum. It's so kind of you to affirm that and I'm glad you are benefiting from it!

[MerryMary]

I think it's all relative to the person, Mary, you're right. I'm not saying perfect compliance is not the best route for people - but if you're in control of your off-plan eating that seems better to me than mindlessly eating perfectly compliant food.

I don't understand what you mean Nickie. While you are on program why would planned non-compliance be better than just putting yourself on the program with the idea of following the program as it is written?

I hope Mary doesn't mind me bringing this up in her journal ---but maybe it is a good spot since it seems, from what you both share and do, that both of you feel that following the program is not of primary importance to you.

I don't mean to sound harsh, so my apologies if I'm not wording my thoughts in such a manner as we would be able to if we were talking face to face (I sometimes hate writing out my thoughts because they can be easily misconstrued at a time like this) but I'm just puzzled because I read about off program eating and I read it like it is a source of pride for some that they go off program---pre-planned and then get right back at the program. Why is that better than sticking to the program?

No, Tawanda, I don't mind you raising the question of Nickie in my journal.

[MerryMary]

Today the sun was shinning! <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_203.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D4%252F4_1_203/image.gif"> That's quite usual for Texas in July, but since it has rained<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4_2_1.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D4_2_1/image.gif"> everyday for the past 13 days the sunshine was a blessed surprise!

It's only the beginning of July and the area stores are putting all their summer merchandise on sale! Can you believe it? And school supplies, uniforms and fall clothing is beginning to fill the racks. I've been careful about not purchasing too many clothes since my size is beginning to change quickly. I had picked up some things on sale a couple of weeks ago but I know they won't fit come August! So ... what can a girl do? I went shopping!

It's interesting to shop when your mind has not caught up with your body's progress. In my obesity I never tried things on in the store but now I have to (lest I want to make constant returns!). It's hard for me to believe that last summer my 24W's were snug and today I purchased capris and skorts in a 10P (10 Petite!!!! )! I also purchased a cute (fitted on top) skirt in a 12P and got a great knit top (M) to go with it. Oh, and some belts! I don't know how long it's been since I wore a belt!! It is so nice to purchase cute things that are fashionable and NOT matronly looking. I've even added 3 casual sleeveless knit tops to my wardrobe!

I'm a little concerned about what I'll take on my cruise in the Fall. I know nothing I have now will fit me then but I'm not good at buying in "advance." The smallest I've ever been was a size 8 but that was 30 years ago. I wonder how the sizing structure has changed since then.

Tomorrow I'm having a friend over for lunch--we'll be grilling steaks and veggies. This is the friend who was so impressed with my weight loss that she started MF too! It will be a very tasty L&G. I believe she's lost 30# on MF and an additional 10#on WW--probably in the same time span! So far 3 people have joined the program because of my success and a 4th one is still considering it. It's really a blessing to have been instrumental in their commitment to a healthy life!

Enough for now ...
Peace...

[SuzyQ66]

Hi MerryMary!! Glad to see that things are going well with you. You made my day. I was just thinking about a book that somebody suggested in one of their journals - I thought a couple days ago that I would need to weed through everybody's journal to find the name - and look low and behold - MerryMary to the rescue and she didn't even know it. I am going to look online and get that book. I need to read and discover the triggers of emotional eating and then find solutions. I have been unhappy with the way I have handled my stress lately - but the more I look into this - I am trying to turn this around. Better that I deal with this now than later because then I would gain all the weight back that I worked so hard to rid myself of. I guess it's all part of the learning process. Thanks MerryMary. You are a lifesaver.

[MerryMary]

Hi MerryMary!! Glad to see that things are going well with you. You made my day. I was just thinking about a book that somebody suggested in one of their journals - I thought a couple days ago that I would need to weed through everybody's journal to find the name - and look low and behold - MerryMary to the rescue and she didn't even know it. I am going to look online and get that book. I need to read and discover the triggers of emotional eating and then find solutions. I have been unhappy with the way I have handled my stress lately - but the more I look into this - I am trying to turn this around. Better that I deal with this now than later because then I would gain all the weight back that I worked so hard to rid myself of. I guess it's all part of the learning process. Thanks MerryMary. You are a lifesaver.

I'm glad the post was so timely for you ... I noticed that Amazon has a new copy that was previously owned for about $6 and it's been rated with 5 stars. A deal! I just ordered It's Not about Food: Change Your Mind; Change Your Life; End Your Obsession with Food and Weight by Carol Emery Normandi and Laurelee Roark. I'll let you know if it's any good.

My daughter just sent me an email about The 90/10 Principle. I thought it was good. I'll copy it and post it here. It's interesting.

[MerryMary]

The 90/10 principle
Author: Stephen Covey

What is this principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will
be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can
control how you react.

Let's use an example.

Imagine, you are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business
shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react.

Here is how people react typically:
Ø You curse.
Ø You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
Ø She breaks down in tears.
Ø After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.
Ø A short verbal battle follows.
Ø You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Ø Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school.
Ø She misses the bus.
Ø Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
Ø You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Ø Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
Ø After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school.
Ø Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
Ø After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.
Ø Your day has started terrible.
Ø As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
Ø You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Ø Coffee splashes over you.
Ø Your daughter is about to cry.
Ø You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need to bemore careful next time".
Ø Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.
Ø After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
Ø She turns and waves.
Ø You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
Ø Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why? Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.
The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

o If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass.

o You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

o How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Ø Do you lose your temper?
Ø Pound on the steering wheel?
Ø Do you curse?
Ø Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Ø Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and
do not worry about it.

o You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

o The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It CAN change your life!!!

[SuzyQ66]

Touche'. Wonderful article. One we should all remember.

After I posted that post to your journal - I went straight to Amazon and ordered the book. I almost bought the one you said you just ordered but I thought I would start with the one first.

Thanks MerryMary for reminding me about the book and for posting the 10/90 rule.

[holberry]

Oh, Mary, I'm so glad I popped into your journal.
That is such a sterling way to approach life, thanks for sharing.

Also thanks for driving by my journal. What color is your mustang,did you say red??
My car is navy and Im in love with it, yep, it's true.

And let's not forget a big hearty congrats on the petite 10's . WOWO
have a pleasant evening.
hol

[queenielou]

Mary,

The 90/10 message was right on time for me. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I react to different things and now I know that I need to stop just thinking about it and start reacting differently. Thanks for posting it

Also, I think it's wonderful that your friends have been inspired to start MF because of you. You're really leading by example, as you often do in the messages you write on the board. Congrats on the small sizes

[MerryMary]

After I posted that post to your journal - I went straight to Amazon and ordered the book. I almost bought the one you said you just ordered but I thought I would start with the one first.

Thanks MerryMary for reminding me about the book and for posting the 10/90 rule.

Glad you ordered the book and I will certainly let you know about the other one. Who knows, I may begin referring 2 books!! Perhaps I should ask for a commission, eh?

I've been helping my daughter work through her anxiety--she has a very stressful job. So when she emailed the 90/10 Principle to me I knew that progress was being made! I told her how much I liked it and she replied (and I don't think she would mind my sharing this),
"The only part I would add to it is to trust that the 10% happens for a reason and just to go with the flow. I believe there are always elements working in the background we are unaware of. It is always easy to get upset when you are running late or a plane arrives at an unexpected time, but I always trust that it happens for a reason. Things are playing out just as they should, and not to let my concept of "time" and "schedule" hinder my emotions. I don't know the bigger plan."
I am sooooo proud of her!!

[MerryMary]

Oh, Mary, I'm so glad I popped into your journal.
That is such a sterling way to approach life, thanks for sharing.

Also thanks for driving by my journal. What color is your mustang,did you say red??
My car is navy and Im in love with it, yep, it's true.

And let's not forget a big hearty congrats on the petite 10's . WOWO
have a pleasant evening.
hol

Yeah, I like that approach to life ... so much of life is how we react to the persons/places/things around us!

While I drove by your journal in a red car, LOL I really drive a white Mustang. Do you drive a Mustang too? I like navy ... not sure what my next car will be, but navy is on the list

I can't wait for your crossover to ONDERLAND!!! I am so excited for you!

[MerryMary]

Mary,

The 90/10 message was right on time for me. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I react to different things and now I know that I need to stop just thinking about it and start reacting differently. Thanks for posting it

Also, I think it's wonderful that your friends have been inspired to start MF because of you. You're really leading by example, as you often do in the messages you write on the board. Congrats on the small sizes

It never ceases to amaze me how we often read or hear things at just the right time ... I don't believe it is coincidence!

Thank you for your kind words too! You are so sweet! Keep shakin' girlfriend--you are doing great!!

[HappyHomeMaker]

Hi Mary,
I loved your 90/10 post!! It reminds me of the scripture:
Matthew 6:27
"Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?"
I love that scripture, It always comes to my mind when I'm worrying.

I've found your post is definately needed and as usual there is someone working in the background making sure HIS wisdom is proclaimed!

That reminds me of a story:
I was standing in line at a local Walmart, and lets just say the line was long and wasn't moving.
The woman in front of me started talking to me and was complaining about how long the line was...without even thinking...I turned and said, "Yea, but thank God you and I have the money for these full carts to fill our homes with food." I said it without even realizing and I felt silly after saying it...she just looked at me....got very quite...I smiled, trying to mask my embarassment...she said, "Oh you are very right."...the conversation took a turn for the better after that.

Lesson learned: You can be used by God to change people, hearts and attitudes. Funny thing...It was my attitude that changed after that!!

I love your wisom and encouragment!!

Have you read the book "Mindless Eating"?