The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[MISSANNE]

Ok, I'm fallling apart but instead of going for the cupcakes in my pantry, I'm coming to you guys.

Vicky, I read your reply:

What's the problem? Are you physically hungry? Or is it more emotional? (You know, missing food; feeling sorry for yourself; scared to go past this point)? There HAS to be something that's stopping you in your tracks here.

Your right even though I don't know what happens. This is the 3RD week in a row I have started MF on a Monday and everytime have given in on Wednesday. No coincidence. I even ask myself why. I made it through 3 days to give in for 1 lousy dinner? Then I say ok, I'll start Monday so eat what I want this weekend cus this is it. Its a vicious cycle, I know.
I need to learn to say no better. Especiallly to my mom. She asks me every day to lunch and almost every night to dinner. She just goes on and on until I say ok. She says "as long as you don't overdue it your ok" But I'm NOT ok, if I was I wouldn't weigh 253lbs. I can't talk to her about MF cus all she does is shake her head and tell me that it wll come back within 6 months. I explain to her about the transition phase,etc...she says its just another fad.
My daughter helps me, she saw me eating crackers w/my chili and asked if I was supposed to eat them. I told her they were MF. Well, somehow she got in conversation with my ex-husband about it and told him I was doing a diet. When I saw him tonight, he goes "another diet? Why don't you just realize your always gonna be fat and get over it?"
He has always been thin and his new wife is a stick. (more like an ugly twig if you ask me).
This isn't right, I do want this more than anything in the world. I feel like I still have a long life left. I will be 29 on April 8th. It's not right that I'm sitting here sobbing because I want to do this and no one in my family will support me. For 11 yrs, since I had my 1st child, all I've heard is "your so pretty, you should lose weight" What is that? Who says stuff like that?
I'm probably not the only one who has heard that, but I think its crap. I'm tired of being the fat funny girl whos pretty with my friends. I know they
love me but I don't want that role. I don't lack confidence. I go out with my friends, dance, drink but every guy I meet likes me as a friend. For once, I'd like to be know for my looks, not just the one w/the personality. I know thats important also but Geez, give me a break.

So, to answer your question Vicki, I don't know why I get to Wednesday and then quit. I feel worse. I ate out breakfast and dinner today and have felt horrible. Not even mentally, but physically. I feel full, tired, bloated just icky. I do know that I am an emotional eater. (like 80-90% of us) I am struggling right now personally, but thats all the more reason I wanted to take this next step and lose weight. I left my family business in August to go on my own. Now I'm ready to leave behind this body and move on.

There was another post about being scared. I feel in some ways, maybe I am. I'm so used to being this way its kind of my comfort. I've pretty much shopped in 1 store for 11 years. Most of you must have felt this way at some time or another.

For 2 weeks I have posted that I'm re starting and committing to MF. And for 2 weeks my stats haven't moved. I'm on here pretty much every day reading everyones progress and get so excited and inspired. I think if you all can do it, then I can too.

So, this is it. I'm not wating till Monday so I can eat good over the weekend. I'm starting in the morning.

Believe it or not, it has been 1 hour since I started writing. I have been writing, crying, writing.

I don't neccessarily need responses from everyone encouraging me. I don't mean that in a negative way at all. I mean, I've been on this site long enough to know how great everyone here is. I know I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way and I don't want you guys thinking I need pity. I just gave myself enough self-pity for a year! We all have a history and a sob story. I just appreciate being able to let this all out. Selfishly, it is more for me than anyone. Otherwise, I would be on my couch eating whatever I found.

I feel a sense of relief now. The negative people can no longer get to me.
I will do this just as you all have.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words over the past 2 weeks. Not just to me, but all the posts I read are great!

dede4wd-For some reason you stick out in my mind throughout the day-Thank you for always posting great thoughts.

Well, YOU ALL DO!!! and I will too,SOON.

thanks Vicky,you probably opened a bigger can of worms than you had hoped for.



My new motto, some of you may know this if you like poetry:

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." -D.H.Lawrence

[MISSANNE]

I think I may have posted in the wrong section. Sorry Unca

[Loribug]

Missanne,

I think I speak for many, we have all been in the dumps and have felt at least some of your pain. You are with friends here. I don't know what I would do without the support of my family.

Also, he is an EX husband for an obvious reason. You already know not to listen to his A**.

Just jump back on the wagon and come along for the ride, If I can do it, you can. If you really want to eat something off the diet just tell yourself, I can have that later and it won't matter. It will always be there. It's not going anywhere, but you are, down the path to weight loss.

Just think how being healthy and a healthy weight is going to feel, buy yourself an incentive outfit and hang it in your kitchen. Put a picture of your ex with a smirk on his face on your refrigerator, that should help.

TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU WILL GET PAST WEDNESDAY.

[Loribug]

I read something that might help you:

Go to Studio, look on page 4, 18th post down from Nancy tittled:
"Struggling with it all? Had a pause in your MF plan?"

She cuts no slack!

[Arklahoma]

Missanne,

I know this is a true struggle for you and I know that you are not looking for trite words at this point; however, if you could just make it through the first week things WILL completely be better. I have experienced almost everything that you posted and I can truly say that, right now, I feel the best that I've ever felt in my life. I feel so "in control" that I can't even put it into words. If you want to chat in real-time then I'm available. If you want my private email address then I'll give it to you. If you want to chat on the phone then I'll call you or you can call me. Just tell me what I can do to help?

We are in this struggle, together!

[falisamarie]

MissAnne--I had tears in my eyes as I read through your post. First off I want to talk about your ex--ugg--what a jerk! I have one of those same skinny as a rail exhusbands in my past as well! I will tell you that my ex is actually part of my motivation--I can't wait for him to see me thinner than I ever was when I was with him.

Now on to your mom. I am sure that she means well but you are an adult and need to stand up for yourself. It is ok to say no to her lunch and dinner invitations. The only thing I would suggest as far as her saying the weight will be back within 6 months is to give her the address to this website and let her see for herself that Nancy has lost a ton of weight AND maintained that loss for over 3 years! If she still does not get it just ask her to respect your decision and if she can't do that then tell her that the subject of your choice of weight loss plans is off limits for discussion when you two talk.

Finally you say that you get to Wednesday and then you slip. I am glad to hear that you have decided this time to get right back on program and not wait till Monday. I did some figuring and if you ate just 1800 calories a day Thurs thru Sun that is a total of 7200cal where if you get right back to Medifast Thurs you would have at the most 4000cal Thurs thru Sun which is a difference of 3200cal you save by getting right back on program and that is a lot. I know you have read that the first 3 days are the toughest and I know that if you can get through Wednesday you would most likely feel a real difference come Thursday.

Next time you feel that you are about to slip I want you to get on here and read and post do whatever you need to in order to get through that time of temptation.

I know you did not ask for responses but you should know by reading that we all care way to much to keep our big mouths shut! I mean now that we are not stuffing our mouths as much we have to find something to use them for.

You will do this and we will all walk with you guiding you and helping you to success!

Lisa

[MISSANNE]

Lisa, I hope you didn't take it offensively when I said no replys necessary. I appreciate every one more than you know. I simply meant that, yes, I know the majority of us on here have been through the same crap and I don't feel I have it any worse than anyone else. This forum is my personal journal.

Thank you all for the support. I only typed with you all but I feel closer to you than some of my friends because you know more of my intimate thoughts and feelings.

Thank you again...I'm drinking a shake this morning! By Monday, I'm sure I'll have weight loss to report. No quitting Sunday!!!

[DogMa]

Wow. I really feel for you, too, and I know how hard it can be when your family isn't very supportive. I live alone now, and far from most of my family - didn't realize that could be such a GOOD thing. I still remember my dad offering to pay for Weight Watchers when I was in college. And then showing up with brownies because "you're doing so well, you deserve a treat."

Anyway ... I'm with everyone else. You can do this, and we're here to help you!! You're doing great by getting right back on the program instead of waiting till Monday. There's nothing magical about Mondays and maybe there even IS something about Wednesdays for you ...

Is there any way to stay away from people like your mom for a few days?Tell her you're busy, duck her phone calls, things like that? If not, I'd say go out with her and have your lean and green then. Heck, don't even tell her it's Medifast. Have some chicken or fish or whatever and veggies, and tell her you're trying to eat healthier. (Or heck, tell her you don't want to go out to eat for a few days because your stomach is upset. Do what you need to do.)

My only other suggestion would be if you DO feel yourself about to crash again after a couple of days, and coming here for support doesn't help ... cheat by eating extra fat, NOT extra carbs. Eat a big Atkins meal, if you have to, and get right back on track. That way you'll stay in ketosis and still be on your way to reducing the hunger and cravings, and have a better chance of making it through that crucial first week.

You're GOING to do this.

[bzlife1967]

Missanne, hunny pie. You are ME 5 yrs ago!! My middle name is Anne! I am sooo pissed at your ex husband right now I could just really kick his a$$!!! What a piece of sh*& he is! He sounds just like my ex. He has probably said things like that to you the whole time you were married, beat you down to raise himself up! I know mine did and the first time I stood up for myself and got in his face the look on his face was priceless. I will no longer take any of his "stuff"! I always let it go, tried to keep the peace, walk on eggshells, tell the boys, your dads gonna be home pick up your shoes. Everything to make sure he didn't have anything to yell about. The best revenge is to Suceed!! and prove him WRONG.... and then ... rub it in his face of course!! ok that could just be me!! You are strong, you have the strength, you just have to dig deep and find it. I don't know how old your kids are or how many you have. I would sit them down and talk to them, tell them you need there help to be strong... so FYI there won't be any cupcakes in the house. They can make their own dinner for a few nights, or even a week it aint gonna kill any kid to make a sandwich. Or heck have your mom take em to dinner!! Is your mom heavy?? My guess is she is and she doesn't want to loose her eating buddy. Ask your kids to enlist in some sort of activity with you every night... play catch, go for a walk, play checkers whatever it takes to get in the right mind frame! I am going to PM you my phone #. You can call me anytime!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! YOU NEED TO DO THIS!! YOUR WORTH IT!!!

[MISSANNE]

Thanks Loribug...I read that post and I think it's true. I may be making some excuses instead of just doing it. But no more...I'm becoming a loser.

[FluffyNoMore]

I thinki it is wonderful that you feel comfortable enough with all of us to share you feelings with us. That is a tough thing to do even in this type of setting.

You wrote so many things that I have felt myself and said to myself, but by you saying it also validates that I am not alone in this. I have a very supportive husband and mother, but other than than that I get negative. My bestfriend of over 20 yrs said to me that she could no longer go out with me anymore because she didn't want to be the fat one. That was 2 weeks into medifast. I was absolutely devastated that our 20+ friendship, was just boiled down to my weight. I still love her, but I can't get that comment out of my mind. I don't want people to be my friend because I make them look thinner. I'm tired of being the funny fat girl...the one no one's threatened by.

My dad also told me that I have a LONG ways to go...so don't go getting my hopes up that I'm close...I struggle EVERY day. I'm faced with temptation EVERY day. I have 3 kids at home who eat a ton of carbs...ie goldfish, cereal, cheese and crackers. LOL! But because I've lost weight, I'm terrified of cheating..of going back to where I was.

Once you start losing, it'll be so much easier mentally, believe me. You won't want to cheat because the fear of undoing what you've done is real. I talk to myself all day long...thankfully I'm alone most days. LOL! But I do...it keeps me on track...and keeps me focused. You can do this... I know you can. Get through your first 4 days and I'm telling you EVERYTHING will change.

We're all here for you....we're all fighting this battle right along side of you.

[MISSANNE]

bzlife 1967....
Thank you sooo much! You are right, my mom does want an eating partner. She is not married and has no life. It's hard on me. She lost 70-80lbs about 3 years ago then had liposuction and a tummy tuck. She has slowly gained some of her weight back over the past year or so. I spoke w/my aunt last night who thinks that my mom doesn't want me to get thin because then the attention will be taken from her. I believe her. You gotta know my mom, I try to not talk to her alot other than about my kids. I don't know any mom who wouldn't want their daughter to be successfull but she was the same way when I quit our family business. She said I would fail on my own. I know its because she wants the control over me and I have took that away. Anyways, I will do whatever it takes to stay on this plan until I reach my goal.

Where in AZ are you? I'm in Az too

[MISSANNE]

fluffynomore.......I'm so sorry to hear about your friendship. That's horrible. I hopefully will not have that problem because all my friends are thin. However, my best friend since 5th grade recently said to me " I can't pictue you thin....will you still be the same person? We like you the way you are." Yeah, because I'm comfort for them! As long as I'm heavy, they feel better about themselves. Twisted? yes! But that caddy girls for you.

[bzlife1967]

Michelle, Girl we gotta talk!! R u sure your not my twin??

Im in Cottonwood, but go to phx area quite often to take the kid to their dads. Where are you?

[MISSANNE]

bzlife1967-I'm in Gilbert. In case your not sure where that is...it's next to Mesa, Chandler,etc.About 30 mn from Scottsdale.