The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Mike]

Melissa,

Diana and I are very glad that you have found a good program to follow. Looks like you have what is best for you and it seems to work for you. Keep up the great work.

[melissa07]

even though, we are all in this weight loss battle together, i feel kind of alone on this website. when i did medifast, i had a lot of support, now i am doing my own thing, hoping to still get the support and encouragement, and i get the feeling that no one really cares because i am not doing the Mf diet anymore. is this true?

Mike, i would receive check up private messages from you a lot, i hope this hasn't changed your support for me just because i am not doing MF.

after all, you are still a coach to me, with or without MF.

[Lauren]

Morning, Melissa -

I feel obliged to step in here, if for no other reason then to defend both Mike, as well as the other folks on the forum.

This forum is a Medifast Meal Replacement Support Forum. That's the title of the forum, and it's members are people are in some way participating in the Medifast plan. While people may come and go, stray in compliance, or perhaps have life events that periodically take them away from being on MF, the core of their involvement here is indeed MF.

You have found a different plan, for which both Mike and Diana, and other lovely folks here, have all graciously congratulated you in finding. The fact that Mike has continued to follow up in your journal periodically, I think, is a testament to his kindness - as he is not your advisor if you are not participating in the program, nor purchasing the product. It's not fair for you to expect the people here, including your HA, to continue to maintain regular support to you, again, on a forum specifically for MF users, when you have made a public announcement that you will not be using the plan.

Here's the point: we all wish you success, happiness, joy, and fulfillment in life and in your weightloss progress. But, and this is just my opinion, I don't think it's appropriate to expect ongoing support from a forum of people on a different plan.

All my best,

Lauren

[melissa07]

oh that is right, money talks, and when money isn't going into MF, then people don't support me anymore because I have decided to succeed by doing my own thing that fits my lifestyle better. Basically what you just summed up is that I can't expect the support as much anymore because I am not following the MF program. Basically, anyone who did support me only supported me because we had one thing in common, we were all following the MF plan, and that to me sounds selfish. It sounds like some of you only supported me, to make you feel better about yourself, and were only there through MF support. In my opinion, support is support, and don't forget guys losing weight is a hard challenge, and no matter how you achieve it, we are still working for the same goals. I don't think Mike should stop being an advisor because I cannot give him profit, and nor do I think you should speak up for him, because in all honesty, Mike seems like a great man, and I think he would support me with or without MF. If this isn't true, then I will understand that maybe sales, and money was the case, and that is the only reason why HA's do what they do. I know that cannot be possible, and that cannot be true, because that would be selfish, and greedy, but on the other hand that is what you are making it out for me to interpret it that way.
Just don't forget that losing weight is what it comes down to, and the support should be there, whether we follow the same plan or not. I have found other support forums to chat with other people with their goals, that provide more wide range techniques people are using to lose weight instead of focusing only on one diet, like medifast support forums. Don't get me wrong, I am on them all the time, but I wasn't going to be rude and say the hell with you guys, I found another support forum that doesn't base itself only on one weight loss plan. I thought it would be nice to still share my thoughts with you guys, and still share support and advice. I guess some of you feel differently. I get the hint "If you are not doing MF, then don't expect support from us."
we are all on the same level as for correcting our bad habits, lifestyle, confidence, or health...the way we do it shouldn't matter how much support we get from one another.
I have asked several time how everyone was doing on MF, how their days are going, struggles, how holidays went, etc, and not once did anyone respond, so it is not like i am not concerned about you guys and are in this for myself. This is all an act of selfishness.

[Lauren]

Melissa, you have every right to be angry or offended by my comments, but please remember they were just my comments - not Mike's, nor anyone else's here on the forum. It is entirely possible that no one agrees with me, so I would hate to have you resenting the whole group for one person's opinion.

That said, there are indeed other forums that are about weight loss in general, as opposed to one specifically geared towards those on MF. It's not an elitest thing, it's just that this forum was designed specifically by and for MFers. That's all I was saying.

Anyway, it truly wasn't meant to be an attack on you, I was just replying to your comments about feeling isolated here.

I truly wish you success, as I said before, whether here or elsewhere, there was nothing malicious or unkind intended by my words.

Lauren

[Out*With*The*Old]

Melissa:

I hope this provides some insight as to why I personally can't help you in your journey...

I will speak only for myself - - I wish you luck in whatever plan you follow. I did visit your journal on occasion, however, I found it difficult to read it due to all of the non MF allowed foods mentioned. I realize you’re not following the MF plan. I, however, am following the MF plan and I come to this forum for support in my MF journey and to support others in their MF journey. Seeing you mention foods that I would love to have but have put on the back burner for now make my plan harder. And, while I support folks on the forum as much as I can I will admit, I am here for ME. Not for anyone else. If I can support and encourage others on their MF journey, the way others have supported me, then I am happy too - - and that too helps me stay on plan so perhaps that support is also a bit about me.

I don’t post on Weight Watchers, South Beach, Atkins or any other diet boards because I can’t offer support on those plans. They didn’t work for me. To be honest, the plan you’re following wouldn’t and didn’t work for me. So I wish you all the best, really I do, but I can’t add value, advice or even commiserate with your plan because I’m not following it. If I was to offer thoughts I would say to get back on MediFast. You’ve posted that you’ve struggled and felt like you’ve failed and you quit, etc etc. I’d like to see you overcome these things and reach your healthy goals. I KNOW MediFast will work for you because its working for me and for soooo many people. Honestly, I’ve seen more people reach goal on this forum than on any other plan or forum. To me, that says this is the right plan for me and this is a plan that will work for soooo many people.

Best of luck to you. It is unfortunate that you don’t feel supported on this forum. I do have to wonder if it is because other people can’t relate to where you are right now. I’m happy that you have found other forums that offer you what you need in the way of support - - support is important to your long term success.

Best of luck to you!

[Tawanda]

Lauren wrote what I was thinking. This site is a Medifast support and information site. It is owned and paid for by people who are health advisors for Medifast. It is a great site for the customers of Medifast. I have been puzzled why someone not following the Medifast plan would wish to talk about their other diet endeavors on this site.

I am thrilled for you that you have found a way to take the pounds off that you wish to lose. But I, personally, felt that this site is for Medifast only support and it was difficult for me to get past the feeling that you were being rude in expecting a forum of strangers to support you when you were not following the plan that is paying for this site.

I'm not the most eloquent and I did not want to say anything hurtful to you.....so I did not post. But I also will not sit by while you berate us for not supporting you sufficiently when it is you who are out of line.......in my opinion.

Best of luck to you in whatever direction to chose to go with your weight loss.

[melissa07]

It just seems to be kind of weird when I was doing MF the support was there, and now I would be lucky if I even get a comment. Some of you wrote long replies to me whether it was through PM or journal and now I can't get more than 2 sentences out of you. If I am not welcomed here because I am not doing the MF plan, then why hasn't anyone told me? I had to ask the question to get the truth, and I feel I should have been told this instead of getting a response once I brought it to my attention. If this is a place where people only accept Mf'ers than this should have been said to me a long time ago when I stopped using the plan. you can't run away from the foods that I mention because it is part of every day life. You are faced with challenges every day and you can't expect to run away from them. They are there, and they are there for you to conquer and stay strong. I feel as if many of you do not want me here because my support is different, because I am eating healthy normal every day foods and you guys have to stick to the MF plan out of choice. I feel as if some of you are trying to avoid me only because I may bring on certain weaknesses and challenges by posting what I eat. This is why it is my journal, because some of you said it would be fine if I posted what I ate if that helped me. One of you even said if that is what helps you, then I will also help you to the best of my knowledge. I have made food a friend of mine, and many of you still hide away from food thinking it is your enemy. Don't let one person who isn't following MF offend you. I know I have to live for the rest of my life with the way I am, or I can change that. I know I don't want to be on any more diets, and live a less stressful life not worrying about whether or not I will succeed on a diet. If i am not doing a diet, than I cannot fail anything. If you would open your viewpoint a little bit, and be more understanding and realize that losing weight is what it is, and it doesn't matter what you are doing to achieve this, than I guess some of you would be more understanding. you don't have to seclude yourself from someone who isn't on your plan. Seeing other people's viewpoints are sometimes good, and can benefit us all. Who knows, maybe when someone reaches maintenance you can take tips on how I am doing it because I am eating all kinds of food. you will eventually hit maintenance and eventually will be faced with all the food challenges all over again. you simply cannot avoid it, and I wish you would look at me as if I were on maintenance or at least give me the credit to do what i am doing completely on my own. no one wants to see that because I am simply not a Mf'er, and that is fine.

[lifelovinaries]

Melissa, it was one person's opinion regarding the posting of your foods bothering her. Please don't make it seem as though this is a forum full of people trying to lose weight that can't stand to hear other foods mentioned. I don't even think that is what the poster was saying. For example, hearing of the foods you consume did not bother me but i'm sure it affected many others differently, those struggling to stay on plan and those who find it easy. IMHO, the support provided here was not as great for you because it is for like minded people. I too, would visit your journal because to me it is interesting to read other people's journeys, however, if i want to read about someone's general struggle with weightloss, i can go to a site like sparkpeople, extrapounds, or the like. If i want to read about diet specific weightloss, i visit diet specific sites. You really cannot expect super support for your weightloss plan when the members here can't identify with it. If you were a cat breeder and joined a dog breeding forum, how much support would you expect to get? Probably very little. If you tried to tell the dog breeders about your struggles with cats, they could empathize with you because you are an animal breeder. BUT they would also let you know that they can't really offer the support you need because they have chosen to breed dogs and concentrate on that and support others that also breed dogs. I know this example may sound stupid but it is accurate. I don't believe that any of this is money based. This forum as a whole cares about the well being of it's members. Sometimes we have constant contact with our HA, sometimes not. After they lend support to starters, sometimes they must move on to another starter (or restarter) if they feel that the 1st starter has the plan down. They check back in occasionally but a lot of contact is thru the forum. I think that if Mike and Diana discontinued contacting you, it's because they still have many people OP to continue to support. If you had stayed around the forum long enuff on MF you would have seen that many of us tend to be brutally honest while others tend to deliver a softer blow. Many times, different emotions are read into typed words that weren't there when they were being typed. Either way, here, sometimes the skin has to be thick n tuff! Sorry that you have not found the support that you needed here. It is not that we are trying to ostrasize you, it's just unfortunate that we are not able to offer you support for your program nor are you able to offer us support for ours. It would be virtually impossible for you to offer suggestions for our plateaus that would not involve going off plan. How are you able to offer suggestions on fitting in certain meals, fiber issues (that's me!), or a question of what's the best thing to add to the cream of broccoli soup to make it edible. Others here receive answers and support from experienced MFers as well as those starting out that may have something to add based on their experience so far. Your experience with the program stops at "it's not for you". We do have some on the forum who are not on program. I know of one that used the program to lose almost 100lbs and is able to offer many suggestions based on her experiences. She knows that even tho she has chosen a different path, she has a lot to add to someone's struggles because she has had her own with MF and fully identifies. She does not hide the fact that she is not on program. But she has recently used the program to drop a couple of pounds. Speaking of programs, just look at it like this, THIS forum being a bunch of Microsoft Windows Vista users and you own a MAC. We are all on either desktops or laptops but the people here cant support your MAC system fully because the operating system is completely different. Sorry...but we all do wish you the best in your weightloss journey because at the end of the day, it is a struggle for all of us, no matter what plan we choose. Best of luck on WHATEVER plan you choose.

[melissa07]

Erica,
Your post makes a lot of sense, and it clearer now than how others tried to explain it. i also made the food comment about not being able to read my posts regarding the person who spoke about it in her thread, it was not directed for everyone. maybe i used the word support too much in my case. the one thing i noticed was that people were much more talkative and friendly when i was doing mf. even if i wasn't talking about mf, i was still talking to them about every day things. this forum is also based on building friendships. i wasn't really on here for support because i didn't expect anyone to understand what i was going through nor did i expect them to be able to give me advice on something they aren't even following. i did however expect the friendliness and normal conversation to continue even if i wasn't following mf. that to me, has diminished. the support i was looking for would be the support anyone would need in order to lose weight. it is not only based on my diet plan, or the mf diet. the support is a wide range of things like how i am feeling, or common struggles that every dieter goes through, no matter what program they are using. i liked coming on here because i like to talk to people, vent about every day things, and basic conversation like that. i am not asking what i should be eating, or if my choices were healthy, or if i ate too much, because obviously MF cannot help me with a lifestyle that is not part of an Mfer's lifestyle. my journal is here for the obvious reason, to write in a journal, and what else are journals for? there are far more things in my life than only dieting, or MF, or weight problems. there are things that i like to talk to, but i find it hard when i feel that i am being avoided and i honestly feel the real reason to that is only because i am not following MF.
that is what i mean by not getting the support, i basically over used the word support and meant it more as, where did the friendliness and personal relationships go?? just because i am not following mf doesn't mean i should not be able to make friends with other people. there are common interests and hobbies and other people in school like me or just simple things that i can relate to with other people. unfortunately i havent found that with many people on here, but as soon as i said i was done using MF, the personal feeling got even worse, now it seems like i am talking to myself, and the only thing that draws people to read my journals is when i start a heated conversation. where were you guys when i posted my normal daily journal threads??
i am a very talkative easy person to get along with, but you can't shut me down just because i follow a different plan. that is a little racial, no? that is as if i cannot mingle with you because you believe in a different religion, or you are a different color....that is the MAIN reason i posted my thoughts, because that was the vibe i was getting from many of you, after i stopped using mf

[Out*With*The*Old]

Melissa:

One final thought from me on this topic….

While looking through your posts I noticed that the large majority of your posts are in your own journal. I personally feel that with forums, as in life, you get out of them what you put into them. Other people on this forum, for example, post in their own journals and visit other peoples journals to post/encourage/catch up/say hello. In addition, the majority of regular posters post more than just in their own journal. This is how people get to know you and how you get to know them. It’s just a thought, something to think about. Perhaps your not being a Medifaster is only part of what’s going on. I don’t know – just thought I would share an additional thought. As I stated before, I stopped posting in your journal because I can’t identify with your struggles nor you mine. Part of the support I am looking for is from like-minded people. MediFast isn’t for everyone, as you’ve learned, so I appreciate the MediFast specific support here.

Good luck with your journey. Please don’t feel the need to respond to my post. I am not looking to debate the issue, I only wanted to offer an additional thought.

Good night.

[Mike]

Wow,
I'm gone for a day and the whole world goes awry....

Melissa,
Please hear this from our hearts... we are your health coaches for life.... while you are not doing the MF program, you are eating healthier than before and that's what its all about for you. We support you and I will do my best with what I know (although it is applied through my training and use of the TSFL program) to help you where I can.
As for PM's... I usually only PM people when I feel that there is an issue that should not be publicly dealt with. Since this issue seems to be out there for everyone, I will respond here.
Early on in your journal you discussed not doing MF as it is set up and so I brought things up with you that dealt with that.
My use of this forum is as it is set up, to support people doing the Medifast or TSFL program. You have done this program in the past, and therefore have a vested interest here. Please do not feel that since you are no longer using Medifast as the program that you have no right to be here. There are people who post on this forum who aren't using the Medifast program any longer, and that is perfectly fine.
However, as others mentioned, most of the support given on this site is for people following the MF program.

So, you will always be able to count on us to hear you and possibly to give you hints on certain issues here. When it comes to this forum my focus is definitely towards how the MF program is working for people. For you specifically, my focus is going to be different.

You have read the views of a number of people here, and they all specified that it was their own opinions. These people are truly wonderful people who are all in different stages of their own program. Please take their opinions as their opinions. None of those opinions should be looked at as any groups opinions, or any other individuals opinions, or my own.

We hope that you have a great day tomorrow, and keep up the good work.

[bikipatra]

Melissa-
I have only posted in your journal twice but would be happy to give you as much support and attention as I can. There have been times when I too have felt ignored over certain issues and wondered why other people got all the posts and I was posting to myself. There is nothing wrong with that. Posing to yourself. It is your journal and sometimes it is just good to get things down and out of your head. I am not on MF any longer due to a choice I had to make concerning my physical and mental health. I am glad that happened after I had lost over 90 pounds on MF. Right now I am in a battle with my scale to maintain my goal weight for 5 days in a row so that I can say I did what I set out to do. I am on WW Core program and it is basically just healthy eating. I know that you are trying to do the same thing so I can relate. I did want to make one comment in reference to one of your earlier posts. You said it was all about the money. I really think you did this board and HA's a disservice when you said it was all about the money. I only had a HA for a few weeks and then decided to just order on my own through the Medifast site because it was easier since I live so close to Maryland to place my own order and get it the next day. Yet I was not asked to leave or shunned and Nancy has never been anything but supportive of me. I just wanted to let you know that but could understand why you might have seen it that way. Now you know. I will make it a point to read all your journal entries and feel free to PM me.

[Mike]

Hi Melissa,

Hope all is well with you. Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing.

[melissa07]

hey everyone, sorry i haven't had a chance to get on here in a while. there were many things that i didn't agree with and other things that i did agree with so i figured the best way to avoid any more conflict was to lay low for a little bit. plus i have been busy with other things and figured i can give myself a break with computers.i started a discussion board on a website about healthy eating and balanced meals and i offered people to join me to make a discussion board so we can discuss what we eat every day and how we are doing with our preferred way of losing weight and just every day conversation. it started out small but now we have about 13 women who decided to join me and everyone else on our journey. every day we are getting new people asking to join the thread, so i am happy to say i have actually accomplished my own little support area on that particular website lol. this past week has been horrible with food and TOM didn't make it any better. i did gain 3lbs but lost 2 of it after getting back on track. still 188-190 and no extreme loss yet. i also stopped exercising once finals came closer, and simply because i was lazy. winter got me cold, and my house is freezing because my mom is weird like that, and the thought of getting into work out clothes makes me even more cold lol. my boyfriend made a bet with me that he could lose 10lbs by jan 15th so i will probably start working out again just to tag along with him because he has never been on a diet in his life lol. he is not that big either, about 205lbs, and 5'10. he could lose about 30lbs but he hides it well, makes me so jeolous lol. so how are you guys doing?? my presentation for medifast went well for me, but on the other hand the class was a bunch of non diet believers so they thought i was insane for attempting a diet that only allowed me 1,000 calories. they were really hard to get across to as well, but we all agreed that no dieting was better than following a diet. then again, they aren't over weight like me, so of course they wouldn't think dieting is the best way to go. i may agree, but sometimes when your over weight you try everything and anything hoping that something will work with you. i learned that it isn't the diet, but it is the person. every individual is different, and one diet will not work for everyone, so you have to find what works well with you, and i learned that medifast wasn't working with me, it just drove me crazy, so at least i made that clear to the class because i know it works, and that was the point i was getting across as well. anyway my puppy is coming in tomorrow, so we will have our hands full. hope everyone is doin well, and give me a holler if anyone wants to let me know how they are doing.


melissa