That's the best way I can think of to sum up my first ten days on Medifast. There are so many surprising experiences already packed into this journey I find myself on
First, I thought I was all alone. I'm used to sharing all my weight struggles with a wonderful group of women at Weight Watchers, but with a net gain of ten pounds over two years
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But then I found the journals in this forum...and they're incredible. What an amazingly wise, kind-hearted bunch of people you have gathered here! Sometimes I feel a little creepy, reading such intimate thoughts from people who don't know me, but I also noticed that many share their issues with food and their weight, in part at least, to help others like me
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Second, I never imagined I would stick with Medifast this long...Ten days in and I've already lost eight pounds
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For this reason, I fully expected I would be done with the program by now, and annoyed with myself for spending so much money on food I can't bear to eat. But here I am, hanging in
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In fact, I have only had one day when my tummy was rolling, and I questioned my own judgement for beginning this program in the first palce. I was tearful and afraid that I wouldn't be able to keep going. I think I know what I did wrong, though. I had spent hours online searching out Medifast recipes. I tried a few that were pretty awful through the course of the day, and basically, it's that unhealthy obsession with food that got me into this mess in the first place.
But I made it through. My cravings have subsided. And right now, I feel like I can hang in for a good long while yet. The beauty of Medifast is the chance to not think about food. It's like a holiday for my mind!
One point I'm really struggling with, though, is I can't seem to visualize myself thin. You know how all the motivational speakers say you have to envision yourself in the future you wish for, down to the littlest details...well I can't. I have packed around what basically amounts to a fifth grader worth of extra weight (I teach school
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Even now, when I keep seeing new numbers on the scale, I wonder if it is just a fluke; if it will be back again tomorrow. I get scared that I have already reached my limit, and I worry that from here on, my body won't be letting any more fat go.
Of course, I can work on this. Looking at journals and before and after pictures will help the idea sink in, and I plan to set aside time each day where I try to paint a picture in my mind's eye of me thin and healthy...Imagine that!
Soooooooo....I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams, everyone.