The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[explorthis]

Saturday evening I went on an excursion to a friend’s house. To better your understanding, a Poker game. NO TEQUILA! There were about 18 Men, passing wind, comparing notes, lying about everything, shaking bellies, having a “men” time. The Poker game had an entry fee, which included the game and…. food/drink/alcohol. There was beer on tap – flowing like water. A 920 foot sandwich that would put Jared to shame, and many, many sweet items.

Where do we decide when enough is enough? I have lost a substantial amount of weight. I have been thinner for about 80 days. It took me about 115 days to lose 110 pounds. Today marks day 196. I have successfully, with no real effort kept the weight off, and am maintaining a total loss of 113 pounds.

I knew I would be having at least some beer (hey I am a guy, how can I resist) I had a piece of the sandwich, not too large, about the equivalent of a 6” from Jared’s favorite place, I had a few other items, nothing to even get in a huff about. My problem is guilt. I know the amount I consumed at this “gathering of the bellies” did not affect my loss one iota. Nor did it add any weight. No one was watching me. With exception of the friend that I went with no one knew me, so it was a “diet quiet time” for me. I am wondering now, when the guilt will subside. Is it guilt? When will it become second nature for me to not have ill feelings when I put something in my mouth? I know what I am eating. I know verbatim everything that goes into my mouth, almost to the calorie, and fat gram. I wonder if I will ever not be afraid of eating. Will I be on a life long diet? I have said before that this is OK. Remember it has only been about 80 days of maintenance, so I am still relatively new to this side of the fence. Each item, not of salad content I wonder about. I know basically how much I can eat, and maintain my weight. I read over and over and over that the loss for most people is a short lived achievement. I have vowed, as most losers have, that I will never gain it back. This fear of gaining lives in me every minute of every day. There is still not 15 minutes that pass by, where I don’t think about weight or loss of weight. I don’t mind this, as it DOES keep me on the path.

Every time I go on an excursion, or outing its “weight loss talk”

ALL of you need to prepare for this. You become the center of the discussion, it never gets old. Since no one knew me, there was no diet talk.

I took a small personal account of the men there. Out of 18 men (make it 17 since I am not counting myself) only 2 of these men did not have a weight problem. Only 2! I looked at the belly laughers there, and it is astonishing to sit on the other side of the fence for the first time in my life. I carefully watched the real overweight men. When you play poker, there is a lot of "down" time, sitting, waiting for the next deal. I know I was in this boat before. The fatter the guy, the more trips to the trough. The thinner, the less trips. I watched the 2-3 regular weight guys (all in secret of course) and an interesting thing occurred to me, the thinner the man, the more contentious he was about eating, methodically. The fatter, the guy, the faster he shoveled it in, and the more trips he made to the trough.


I can tell you this, I am glad to have found Medifast; it does not get old being thin.

Thoughts…

-Mike

[Starloser63]

Mike,

Thanks that is something to think about. I am still well on the other side of the fence, but your right we need to get our minds prepared for this and geared up for it. I for one want to make sure I am aware of everything that goes into my mouth. When I finally get to goal I want to be able to keep it off.

I think your in a place I can't comment on, I can't wait to be there. But your insightful posts gives me stuff to think about. We will all be there some day and can only hope to have that same problem, I think.

Thank you for your post! Hope this makes sense.

Hugs,
Susan

[Jeanette]

My problem is guilt. I know the amount I consumed at this “gathering of the bellies” did not affect my loss one iota. Nor did it add any weight. No one was watching me. With exception of the friend that I went with no one knew me, so it was a “diet quiet time” for me. I am wondering now, when the guilt will subside. Is it guilt? When will it become second nature for me to not have ill feelings when I put something in my mouth? I know what I am eating. I know verbatim everything that goes into my mouth, almost to the calorie, and fat gram. I wonder if I will ever not be afraid of eating. Will I be on a life long diet? I have said before that this is OK.....I have vowed, as most losers have, that I will never gain it back. This fear of gaining lives in me every minute of every day. There is still not 15 minutes that pass by, where I don’t think about weight or loss of weight. I don’t mind this, as it DOES keep me on the path.

Mike, we have discussed this before. I think the guilt factor is what will help keep you on track, at least for now. I believe that eventually, the lifestyle you are living will become second nature, just like going to McDonald's every day was second nature. You are still adjusting to this brand new body.

Every time I go on an excursion, or outing its “weight loss talk”

ALL of you need to prepare for this. You become the center of the discussion, it never gets old. Since no one knew me, there was no diet talk.

Yup--I experience this. I spread the Medifast gospel several times a day, because I am always running into people that knew me when I was at my heaviest. Knowing that people are watching me helps keep me on the straight and narrow. I don't want to be someone who loses all this weight, only to gain it back and have people say "What a pity" behind my back.


[quoteI can tell you this, I am glad to have found Medifast; it does not get old being thin.

Thoughts…

-Mike[/quote]

I can't wait to find out, Mike! Thanks for the great thought provoking post.

[Landylue]

Mike, what you are experiencing is exactly what everyone in my Optifast group went through 10 years ago. We all came off the fast with a heightened awareness of exactly what we put in our mouths. And I think it was that very awareness that kept the weight off of most of us for so many years. In fact, one lady hasn't so much as gained more than 3 lbs before she is on it like a duck on a junebug. She keeps daily food logs, and has ever since the fast.

You are also naturally more aware of what other people are eating, as you were at your poker party, even to what they have in their shopping carts at the grocery store. It isn't done in a spirit of sitting in judgment, but rather with the thought that you used to eat food like that, too, and it made you miserable.

Don't worry that you spend so much time concerned with what you are eating. The time to worry is when you stop being concerned. May that never, ever, ever happen to you.

You're our hero and inspiration, Mike.

Landylue

[pinkgeek]

Mike,

I'm so new to Medifast (5 days), so I hope I'm not out of my league by giving you advice...not really advice so much as responses based on your thoughts. Your posts have continued to be both insightful and amusing, and I thank you for that. With that said, here goes! I think as others mentioned, it may not be guilt so much as a heightened sense of awareness, or maybe anxiety and worry that "omigod, I might get fat again." But, keep this in mind: You mentioned that the thinner men seemed to be more "conscientious" about their trips to the trough than the fat guys who MINDLESSLY shoveled it in. I think maintaining success may involve a level of confidence and conscientiousness. You are confident that I and the others here will do well with Medifast and succeed if we stick to the plan. We are confident that you will be able to maintain. That is a healthy level of confidence...confidence sans arrogance. Having lost weight before, I can tell you that what you are feeling now and what happened to me (process of I'll never be fat again and oh jeezus, I'm fat again) are two different things. I think you can be ever mindful of what you are putting in your mouth, but the key is not to become overconfident/arrogant...."Check me out...I can eat what I want, when I want, and in the quantity I want because I'm invincible now and I already lost weight, therefore, I will never be fat again." There is a reason it is called maintenance, right? You have to figure out what it takes to stay in the good shape that you fought so hard to achieve. Look at it like housework (ugh!). I would love to be able to clean the kitchen once and have it be done. That's not how it works. If you clean up your disastrous kitchen and think..oh it's clean, it's done, you will have to overhaul it again in a few months (depending on how much of a slob you are). But if you clean it really well, and clean as you go, that's all you have to do to "keep it in check". Just be mindful of the bad habits you had before and don't get arrogant about the weight. I think for me, I was SOOOO arrogant before and also, I felt so good after I lost weight I think I totally forgot what having the weight on was like. Before I knew it, it was back. And I probably didn't address the issues of how I got that way: stress eating, boredom eating, eating to dope me up to the point I would fall asleep and not deal with the real issues? Who knows? I think maintaining the weight is going to be a life long effort, but not a battle. Just remember, "all things in moderation," don't let the THIN EGO take control of you. Be mindful, not guilty. Hope this helps as much as your posts help me and everyone else!

~Angela

[explorthis]

Amusing, me? Thanks for the well thought out reply.

New or old to Medifast, you obviously know what it is like to lose weight, and gain it back, as most of us do. It is not so much guilt, but in fact a definite new “awareness” that I have.

I am not sure I agree, but could be wrong: “confidence sans arrogance??” I am arrogant, I have always been. I am not arrogant because I have lost weight, I am arrogant in general. I posses a controlled amount of arrogance I am good at deciding when and when not to use this to my advantage, and sometimes my disadvantage. Hey, I am a Man, you should understand us!!

I like you lost weight once before. Somewhere I posted, more than once I lost (in my mid 20’s) about 75# on Optifast. Owning up to the “young adult” phase, I was cocky, and overly uncontrollably arrogant. Weight? I lost it, it’s gone, it’s not coming back. Wow this was easy. Clothes, girls, and party’s I was on cloud 9. Well, you know what happened. It all came back, and another probably 40# to boot. The difference now, the REAL difference is a little more age, a lot more sense, and actually being able to see myself from a different perspective (an older guy’s). I will NEVER – repeat NEVER become too confident with my loss. I know now, the weight loss will be a lifelong battle. I know it can creep back at the drop of a hat.

Take it from one that lives in a house made of all glass; I shall never throw a stone. I know what it feels like on the receiving end of the comments. I do have a new found, new earned amount of EGO. This is mine, and I deserve it. Heck, I lost 113 pounds; tell me I don’t deserve it. I will never let this go too far. I know again, what you and everyone else on this board are feeling. I know the pain of receiving the blunt end of the fat stick.

On the moderation track forever!

-Mike

[pinkgeek]

Okay, Mike, point taken. Continue to be arrogant...it is working for you And you deserve every ounce of ego you have, I'm sure. I guess my point was don't forget where you came from. I'm very happy that you have lost so much weight and my thoughts will be with you as you maintain. Happy Trails!

~Angela

[HD]

Hey, I am a Man, you should understand us!!

The difference now, the REAL difference is a little more age, a lot more sense, and actually being able to see myself from a different perspective (an older guy’s).
I do have a new found, new earned amount of EGO. This is mine, and I deserve it. Heck, I lost 113 pounds; tell me I don’t deserve it.

I will never let this go too far. I know again, what you and everyone else on this board are feeling. I know the pain of receiving the blunt end of the fat stick.

On the moderation track forever!

-Mike

I won't always claim to understand men but since I'm an avid reader of your posts I have to admit that Yes You do deserve a bit of an ego I know that as a loser myself that I have noticed a trend of ego's getting a touch larger than normal. I say go for it! I myself can't wait until my Husband gets home and gets a look at his new wife. By no means am I down to my goal yet but I know that the day will come that I can say I'm there! Do I want to do a little dance when no one is looking? Heck Yeah!
I also know that without all the friends I have gained on this forum that there were days that each of you have helped me through the day.
I know that you Mike have been on the receiving end of pain, I can tell by your constant posts that you look for warning flags going up and run to the rescue!
I know without a doubt that once we all reach our goal (and we will) that we will all get to carry that ego proudly and without guilt.
You may have a man's ego Mike, but have you ever been around a female loser's ego? Watch out Mike .....here we come
Have fun Ego Man, Ego woman is right behind you