The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DonicaB]

When I first started MF about 10 weeks ago, I was like a solid rock, nothing could move me to cheat. I was able to keep that will for about 7 weeks and then it just seem to have completely left me. For about 3 weeks I have been cheating daily and in big ways. I could give you excuse after excuse, but that is all they would be.......just excuses and pretty lame ones at that.

When I first started I would read the post of some who were struggling just as I am now and they were saying the same thing, "Where did my will power go and how can I get it back?" I wondered then, "What is their problem, just do it." I was judgemental and just couldn't understand why it was soooo hard to just do it and do it right.

Now, here I am asking the same question I was so judgemental of........where did my strong will go? It seems like it all changed when school got out and my routine changed. But, again, just an excuse. Something in me changed and I don't like it and yet it seems I just cannot say NO.

I know that only I can change this. I have to decide what I want and only I can do it.

I haven't been weighing in on Sundays because I know I have been cheating. I guess I also need to change my ticker because let me tell you.............cheating for 3 weeks results in a gain, not a loss.

This is exactly what happens to me every time I try to lose weight. I lose some, start to feel better and then I gain it all back. I'm not even one of those people who lose it all first and then gain it back. I have never made it to goal because I just seem to give up. Why do I do that?

I know none of you can answer why I do this. I know I have to discover that for myself.

I am ashamed and embarrassed to be writing this because I haven't been completely honest with all of you the past few weeks. I was hoping to get a handle on it, but I haven't. I am sorry for any deceptions I have given. I pretend to be strong when inside I am so weak. I just don't understand how I can want something soooooo bad and yet food seems to control me. I'm not sure if I am just completely screwed up emotionally or if I just love food

I want to say, Today is a new day, and I am recommitting to do this, but I am afraid to say that. So I am not going to say it. I will say that I am going to try. I am going to try to make it through the hour and then the next hour and so on. Maybe before I know it, I will be making through entire days again soon.

Thank you all for listening to me ramble and feel sorry for myself.

DonicaB

[fedup]

Donica- hang in there! You've done such an amazing job and don't forget that! After being on for awhile you do crave some variety. Do you use the "extras" we're allowed? I would say for a few days incorporate them into your daily plan. I know only you know what's going on inside or with your life, but just know that we're all here for you. I am a BIG EMOTIONAL EATER, but realizing that I know I have 2 choices... keep being a big emotional eater and eat my way into extreme bad health and poor quality of life, or...... do something now about it. I try to remind myself of "how will something taste for the moment" vs. "am I happy living my life the size and weight I am now????" I think if the answer was yes for any of us we wouldn't be here!

You can do this! I know it's easy to say, but keep as busy as you can, guzzle that water, drink bouillon (even though it's hot summer days that bouillon really helps!) ... and post post post here. Even if you post 20 times a day! that's why we're here! Hang in there girlie!

[kimalexrn]

HEY DONICA, YOU HANG IN THERE. NO ONE LOVES FOOD MORE THAN ME. SO I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE COMMING FROM. DONT TRIP OVER WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY, JUST START OVER. TODAY IS A NEW DAY. I KNOW IM GUILTY OF CHEATING AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. BUT WHAT I FIND IS THE MORE TIME I SPEND RIGHT HERE WITH YOU ALL, THE MORE ENCOURAGED I FEEL, AND THE MORE DETERMINATION I HAVE TO COMPLETE THIS JOURNEY. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I SPEND ALOT OF TIME IN THE DIFFERENT FORUMS. IT REALLY HELPS. MY MF FAMILY IS THE BOOST THAT KEEPS ME GOING. HANG IN THERE, YOUR WILL "WILL" RETURN.


KIM
250/200/170

[suzyq]

Donica - You have come so far since you started! It is so hard to get that momentum back once the "cheating monster" comes to call . But just keep visiting the forum and maintaining that accountability - you can do it!

[Tk]

You can do it Donica - I have faith in you!! I think we all fall off the wagon every now and then. Some times it takes longer to get the wagon rolling again. Sometimes you need to oil those "sweeky" wheels and give that wagon a push. (OK I'm talking in medaphors, sorry)

Anyways, temptation is all around us. It's how we deal with them that matters. My co-worker brought in fudge covered graham crakers. I love those!! Anyway, the first package I didn't touch. Didn't even want to sniff them. I was proud of myself. But, she opened the 2nd package yesterday and low and behold this morning - without even thinking about it - I wolfed down 2 of them. YIKES!!!!!! Where did that come from????? Wasn't even hungry!! OOPPPSSS!! But, I will now drink my water, have the rest of my MF products and my lean and green tonight and forget about beating myself up for eating those 2 cookies. I have a long way to go. I started out needing to lose 100 lbs. I know It won't happen in 6 weeks, but it will happen!! I didn't gain weight overnight and I know I won't lose it overnight. Little steps for me. I've already accomplished so much in the 6 weeks I've been on this program. I am a better person inside today than I was 6 weeks agao!! I actually like myself right now!! I've proven to myself that I can stick with something and not give up!!

Ok, I am rambling....sorry. I guess I also needed to get some things off my chest. Thanks for listening and Donica....YOU GO GIRL!!!!

[martha]

Donica----
Please just hang in there.. you can do this!!!!!!!!! I know when temptations come knocking at your door it's hard but you have done so good in the past and I know you can fight this and continue onward in your battle...I too am an EMOTIONAL EATER and this morning I just wanted to say FORGET IT and just give in but I came in here to the forum first and now I feel like I can go on.. My mom(caregiver) is driving me crazy lately; we are trying to leave in 2 days to go on our 1 week a year vacation and she always tries to get sick before we go and today was no different.. having to take her to the Dr today(for nothing) but I am going on my trip this time(we usually get called home or don't go ) But since finding this forum and all my friends here I AM GOING!!!!!!!!! I need a break and after 13-14 years of this I deserve it.. there is a word I think we all forget to remember "DESERVE" for some reason we gain weight or fall off the wagon and then feel like we don't deserve anything good in our lives or why me?or I'm not worth it.. Well I'm here to tell you We do deserve it.. We are worth it..no matter how small it may seem to someone else we deserve it.. the time to do MF--the time to have friends(like all of you) the time to feel good about ourselves as human beings and you my friend or no exception!!! Now that said just stand up and give yourself a BIG hug and let's move on.. Forget about what you have been doing and start to do what you know you can do and that is this PROGRAM.. Don't worry about fibbing to us or anything cause we have all been there and We are all here for you any time day or night.. if it helps just write down what you think is the problems that are causing you to go off program.. maybe looking them in the face will help you to face them and then put them aside so you can do what you need to.. you DESERVE it to yourself to be all you can be.. your friend Martha

[KeleeGrl]

Donica...your not alone! While I read everything on here and it is very inspiring, sometimes I feel like a failure because I'm not as compliant as a lot of the medifasters here. Its mostly BLT's with me, and an occasional bad day....I am also an emotional eater. I have read a lot of your posts and you give such great support and advice and have a lot to offer to the rest of us...now you have to give that to yourself...SELF-talk. Hang in there and hopefully we can help you like you have helped us. So hold your head up high and get right back on the wagon and start shaken!! :

[Nancy]

DonicaB ~

Whew! I am glad that you confessed. That is hard to do but you did it because you are not happy about it. You chose wisely for today, too. There really is no trying to do something – like Yoda says, we either do or we do not.

Beginning something is hard, continuing to do something is also hard.

Doing the right things that lead to a healthier body for 7 - 10 weeks compared to the years that you were not eating properly is a relatively short period of time and it takes a long time to really incorporate good eating routines on a daily basis to develop habits that become automatic.

Many people look at a weight loss program as a short term thing, we must change our outlook and thinking about this – this must be the way we eat for most of the time, not just for three to six months but for most of our life, the rest of our days if we are to reach and retain optimal health.

If we do not; we will be overweight, limit the quality and the length of our lives.

Not everyone is willing to pay the price.

I think we must ask ourselves, “Do we want to settle for something to get us by or choose to do something that really makes a lasting difference?”

I see where you wrote that you began to lose it when school was winding down.

A teacher has a lot to think about and to do at the end of the school year: compilation of grades and report cards, room organization, packing and preparation for summer, returning to home, family vacation plans, garden work, perhaps college classes, etc.

When our schedule changes and our routines vary, it is easy to allow our focus to change and the best intentions to be set aside for the tyranny of the urgent.

IMHO, I feel establishing a written daily and weekly meal plan just like you were required to write a weekly lesson plan for your classroom and then implement it may be what you need to do.

If a teacher fails to plan for the students’ needs, chaos occurs in the classroom; if a teacher fails to teach the things that are required to meet the school district’s and the state’s standards, the children are robbed of an education and a teacher places their livelihood in jeopardy and may even be sued and end up with a fine for failure to teach.

If foodies fail to meet the caloric requirements for their body’s needs – ie. to take in more grub than what their body actually needs, their health is in jeopardy and they may become ill, are more susceptible to catastrophic diseases and illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease, stroke and some cancers and be possibly hospitalized, limiting the quality of their lives and that of their families and friends and die before necessary.

No one can do this for you, no one can sew your lips shut and we cannot send Guido over to your home to put a strong hold on you; only Donica can do this.

When the reason why you choose to eat properly becomes bigger and stronger than the reason why you do not; you will be successful.

What do you want more?

Food and flab or health and fuel?

Donica, we want for you to reach a state of health - to be healthy in your body, in your mind and in your spirit. Let’s get it together, write out your daily food plan, set the bell system like they do in school to indicate the end of the class period and stick to it as if your life depends upon it, because it does!

We have confidence in you, we KNOW you can do it. Get your packets together, Girl and let’s DO it!

[Sasa]

Donica, can I ever relate to what you're saying. Food has always been my primary source of pleasure and comfort. When things are going well in my life I celebrate with my favorite foods. When things are going badly, I comfort myself with ... you guessed it. The key for me, the key to long term health (and ultimately happiness) lies in facing the truth. And the truth is, no matter how orgasmic the food treat may be, it really isn't worth the cost. I think the trick is to recognize and acknowledge that cost, to THINK about it and consider the benefit. How long will the pleasure of that food item last, anyhow? How long does it take to snarf down that whatever it is? 5 or 10 minutes? For THAT you've derailed your plans, disappointed yourself, and (even worse) lost hard won progress.

Hang in there and stay close to this forum! It's a lifesaver for me!

Sasa
Goal: 125
Current: 195
Total Loss So Far: 100

[want2Bthin]

Donica-

I am sorry that you have been having a hard time. You can & will do this. You are a strong woman! I am not going to add more- everyone has already covered what I would say.

But here is a big hug from me to you!

Angelia

[ljm498]

Donica, please don't beat yourself up over this. I've done the same exact thing on just about ever diet I've been on too. It's a form of self sabotage and we all have our different reasons. I think what you really need to do is just concentrate on the next three days of staying compliant. No cheats or anything and you'll see that you CAN do it. Once you make it through those initial three days again your blood sugar etc. will be evened out and you may not crave any cheats. I know a lot of it is emotional too. It IS so hard sometimes. I think if you really get back into the program full steam and see the results that you have seen so far, you will get your strong will back.

You can do it Donica, we know you can! You can get past this and back into the groove.

Good luck! We're all pulling for you!

[LilMsTexas]

Donica,
I have been reading and reading the posts on this topic for you and I have gone back and forth and back and forth as to what I want to say and how I want to say it. I am struggling with whether or not to be "sappy supportive" or "forcefully friendly"

What I FEEL is that you need someone to say GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR and STOP THIS INSANITY!! We have all of course done this crap over and over and over again. It's like saying that we've "done it before" makes it ok in some way or evern horribly expected

I don't want you to fail....and I don't want this to be a story you tell years from now about how "I was so close and doing so well and just gave up and gave in AGAIN!" I want the story of your medifast journey to be "OH MAN YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME BEFORE MEDIFAST AND LOOK AT ME NOW!! I'M A WINNER AND I SUCCEEDED AND I DID IT FINALLY...FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE!" THIS is what I want for you...this is what you want for YOURSELF!

So...with all the love in my heart, and all the hugs from my arms...stop this crap and start over and make yourself commit to 1 straight week of absolutely no cheating and then see how you feel and take it from there!

You won't give up now will you??? You won't do this again will you???
I THINK NOT!!

Love and hugs,
Christi

[Nancy]

ljm ~
re:

It IS so hard sometimes.

I think it is HARD all the time.

Every dang day, makin' the right choices that lead to the pathway to optimal health.

We can get good at doing hard things though, can't we?

[LeeannNH]

donica

you have gotten alot of wonderful feed back so far and i too want to share a thought with you. i truly believe every one of us is only one bite away from cheating. i think losing weight is the hardest thing we will ever do because we gained weight for many reasons: emotional, hunger, boredom, and compulsion. those reasons live in that extra weight. you shouldnt think of yourself as judgemental, you should think of yourself as strong. you are facing those emotions now and by coming here you are slowly releasing those things that keep the weight on.

my therapist is helping me with my weight loss. i have tried to lose weight for years, only to gain it back. i have had alot of trauma in my life and used food as a coping mechanism. losing weight is scary for me. it is sad for me. it is shameful for me. i know that at any given moment the food could step in and take over.

please allow yourself to have some pride in the fact that you are here and are trying again. no one is perfect and you should not hold yourself to that standard.

you are an awesome girl! i have read your posts many times on here. turn some of your positive energy toward yourself and get shakin!

im sorry i rambled. i just wanted to throw in my 5 million cents!

leeann

[suzyq]

[quote] i truly believe every one of us is only one bite away from cheating.



Wow Leeann, you hit the nail on the head! It is so easy to try a little of this or that - I am so guilty of that one! Then it becomes easier to have a little more, and a little more.....

The feedback on this thread has been awesome. Each one of us has a reason we eat, a reason we've failed, a reason we can't do it. But if we want to succeed, we just have to keep moving forward - one step and one decision and one shake at a time!

We can do it!!!![/code]