The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[AlexisClaire]

Please don't make fun of my crappy poem. I was up late and felt like I needed to get some things off my chest, so I started writing, and now I figure I might as well share it. After all, who else could relate better?



How easy would it be
to quit smoking
if you couldn't quit.
If to survive you had to have one,
or two, just those,
every day
no more but no less.

It's hard.
and nobody knows like you know
except everyone who's just like you.

We know.

We see each other,
we see us,
we judge each other,
and ourselves,
just like everyone else judges us.
We're lazy,
no control,
no will-power.
It's self esteem,
it's mostly mental,
it's fear or it's despair.
but nobody knows like we know.

When I look like them
will I think that way?!
That thought scares me.
It makes me sad to think
maybe that lage woman would judge me,
thinking I couldn't possibly understand
because I'm thin,
always been thin,
never had to deal with her reality.
Will I want to tell her I understand?
It makes me sad to think
fat jokes are still going to hurt
even when they're not directed at me,
maybe worse than they do now.
What if I'm thin and I still don't think I'm pretty?
What if I'm thin and I'm still afraid
to do the things I avoid now?

What will I blame it on then?

I suppose I won't know,
not 'till I get there.
The grass is greener
and all that...
I'm making a change,
--I'm so sick of bein' fat--
and I'll get there,
one shake at a time.

[Mrsshrinkinglady]

Alexis,
I thought your poem was beautiful and truly heartfelt!
Never feel badly about expressing your inner feelings here on the forum.
It is a place for all of us to let go of the deep seated feelings we have about our addictions, whatever form they take.
Support and encouragement are here for all those that want and need it.
I thought you expressed yourself very well.
Shrink aka Mary

[martha]

ALEXIS--- I think your poem is beautiful also.. it really hits home with me.. having lost over 100 # before and still seeing myself as not pretty or small is a horrible feeling.. when i look back at those pictures and hear everyone say I was too skinny & I just never saw it .. even when i looked in the mirror--I still saw fat!!! does that make sense?.. of course I would take anything to be THAT fat again I ask myself over and over WHY?? HOW?? WHAT HAPPENED?? still to this day I look for answers that I now know will never matter.. this forum has helped me to look beyond all of that and to accept me for me and not who I was or wasn't.. Thanks to all of you on this forum for that Martha

[doglover]

Alexis - that was beautiful. I have felt so many of those same thoughts. My single male friends some times will talk about other women in front of me and say things like she's too fat, or hefty, and it really bothers me too. And I am always fearful that I will be judgemental of others. But you are right - fear should not stop us from doing what we know we need to do. Thank you for sharing your inner thoughts - it was a very touching poem.
Donna