The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[kendra_m]

Thanks ebony.... I'm anxious to weigh tomorrow, after 4 days (i think thats right) of being totally compliant after my couple of bad days. When I weighed earlier in the week, i was the same weight, so hopefully that has changed.

Today is going well so far. My youngest played football this morning and his team won. yeaa! Sitting there watching my son play however, I realized why football games are this big trigger for me. They are so bittersweet right now, cuz my husband loved football just about as much as life itself. This is the first year that Ben has played tackle football... and my husband should be there to see him play, dammit. It just breaks my heart for my kids that they have to live their childhoods without their dad. It's so unfair.
So how that relates to me and food? Stress... underlying angst... which in the past, has always led to emotional eating. Today, I just owned the feelings. Sat there with tears in my eyes for a little bit and fully felt how sad it makes me and how angry it makes me. I didn't need food to protect me from those feelings... I felt them... then they were done... and I moved forward.

It was an "aha" moment, as Oprah would say. I know that if I'm going to not be obese for the rest of my life, I've got to conquer emotional eating and those moments today gave me hope that I can do just that!

[ebony868]

Yaaaahhhh! for the winner!

Good you recognize the triggers. I'm still identifying all of mine too.

Everytime you think of hubby, know that he's there. He really is. He saw your son today and was cheering him on. He's still with you and your family. Everytime you think of him, he's there.

Keep your chin up, buddy.

Ebony

[kendra_m]

Thanks ebony, you're a sweetheart!

I tell ya, I must have to beat things into my head about 42 times before i get it. I had a horrible day yesterday. We had a potluck at work, I had baked choc chip cookies to take (why I don't know)...... I don't want to go all into what I ate, but it wasn't pretty. The bad part was, I actually was pretty aware of my state of mind when i decided to eat at this potluck. I don't know what to call that except for lack of deep commitment. It reminded me of days gone by when my friend and I would go out for a big breakfast after a weight watchers meeting, thinking that we had a whole week to undo the damage. So then I beat myself up for the rest of the day and felt like crap.

Today is a new day. I want this... and I'm just going to have to accept the fact that there is no way to get there except for deep commitment to stay compliant on the program. I DO want this. I want to be a normal weight and I want to be healthy for a long time. Maybe I need to think more about the things I want and why I want it.
I want to be able to hike and bike and play with my kids.
I want to walk up 2 flights of stairs to my office without being winded.
I want to walk without pain in my hips and knees.
I want to shop at Victorias Secret.
I want to feel sexy in my clothes and out of my clothes.
I never want to hear that I have been diagnosed with diabetes.
I want to not be obese on the bmi scale.
I want to buy regular size clothing.
I want to walk into a room and NOT be noticed only because of my weight.
I WANT to be successful, dammit.

I'm gonna keep adding to this list, until the hunger inside of me to succeed at this is greater than the hunger for any food known to man.

My goal now: to be 100% compliant for the next 6 days.
I'm travelling for 3 days for work, I need to know that I can do this. And I can.

[Elke]

If you "know" it can be done...it WILL be done.
Stay strong and believe in you as much as we do

[Elizabeth]

Kendra, we can just take it day by day. Let's do our best today.

[JeepGirl]

You can do it Kendra! Just keep that list in Mind and take it day by day Girl!!

[Serendipity]

....until the hunger inside of me to succeed at this is greater than the hunger for any food known to man.

That was key for me.....ya have to want it more.

[GucciGoo]

Those are great things to remember when you are about to reach for a candy bar or something worse! Keep up the good work!

[kendra_m]

Have been out of town for 3 days and tho being on the road presented a few challenges, I did alright. I had a two meals out that were more calories than optimal, but they weren't horrible choices and all in all, it was much much better than I would have done before. My mindset before was that being away from home was a great reason to indulge in all kinds of treats. This time, I went to Borders instead and bought a couple of books!
I also did lots and lots of walking... my legs are sore today. I spent two of the three days touring/photoing maximum security prisons for the purpose of showing juries what prison life is like. It was fascinating and I really enjoyed it. (kinda strange, i know)

With the help of a friend (thank you thank you Elizabeth!) I feel like I've gotten off the emotional roller coaster (for now anyway)... I'm feeling good and focused.

[kendra_m]

What a difference a few hours can make! Sheesh. Didn't do so well last night, sat with my kids in the basement during a tornado siren and had eaten about 3 handfuls of snack mix before I even realized what I was doing. It was just such an automatic response. Then I had to deal with the carb reaction for the rest of the night. UGH.

Today's a new day, however and I'm back on track. Been totally compliant so far and feeling pretty good. It's so good to be in control.

I also just placed a new order today... and it's too much money and too dang much effort to twitter it all away!!

[Elizabeth]

Kendra, Congrats on 5 lbs this week!! So happy for you!

[DogMa]

I'm a little late chiming in here, but how about adding to that list of reasons ...

I know my kids can't grow up with BOTH their parents, but I want them to have their remaining parent for a long, long time. And I want them to have a mom who's healthy and physically able to do just about anything she wants to.

[kendra_m]

Thanks Elizabeth! Am so happy for your loss too

And thanks Robin.... you stated that awesomely... I'll definitely add it to my list!!

Kendra

[hulagirlfromhawaii]

Hey Kendra!

Wow 5 lbs this week!!!!! That is awsome!! Keep it up girl, you are doing great!

[kendra_m]

Haven't been posting much the past couple of days, but things are going well. The past 2 days have been excellent, plan wise. Maybe that 'this is easy' feeling is gonna kick in afterall??

I found that my list of things I want to be not overweight for really helped me, so I'm gonna keep adding to it.


I want to be able to hike and bike and play with my kids.
I want to walk up 2 flights of stairs to my office without being winded.
I want to walk without pain in my hips and knees.
I want to shop at Victorias Secret.
I want to feel sexy in my clothes and out of my clothes.
I never want to hear that I have been diagnosed with diabetes.
I want to not be obese on the bmi scale.
I want to buy regular size clothing.
I want to walk into a room and NOT be noticed only because of my weight.
I WANT to be successful, dammit.
Robin's well stated addition: I know my kids can't grow up with BOTH their parents, but I want them to have their remaining parent for a long, long time. And I want them to have a mom who's healthy and physically able to do just about anything she wants to.

New ones:

I want to go kayaking. I like being on boats but avoid it cuz I stress about getting on and off, the whole boat tipping thing. (ick to even think about)
Some day I might just have a date and I want to not worry about the person's reaction to my weight.