by KellyC » May 29th, 2007, 10:37 pm
I am not ok.
Physically, I'm healthy again. Mentally, emotionally, I AM ALL OVER THE PLACE.
Just waiting on my order to get here to start MF back up again. I ran out early last week. Doc took me off program for few days, told me it was ok to start back on Monday, but I don't have any meals.. waiting on order atm, dunno when they'll show up. I took too long to order when I was running low and then I didn't anticipate such long shipping time on top of that, so I really screwed up big time.
On top of that, life is full of negativity right now. I don't want to be a whiny child about it.. but keeping it in is killing me.
Our apartment is shit. We have had a leak behind the wall of the bathroom for MONTHS, our balcony is in such disrepair, it breaks the BUILDING CODES, and management is CHEAP - they don't want to fix it. We have filed a complaint against them with the Regie du logement.. I don't know what the equivalent of this organization would be in the States? Anyways, that is taking forever too.. Our lease is up end August, thank goodness, so we're looking for a new place.. we want to leave earlier, but landlord doesn't want to let us out of lease, he's REALLY mad at us because we filed with the Regie... but he is the one who has been ignoring our maintenance requests since OCTOBER.
Jeremy and I are at each others throats all the time it seems.. with the stress over the apartment, Laurent still in hospital (he has opened eyes though, good sign! now they're evaluating the possible brain damage he may have) and the stress that puts on all of us, especially brother in law.. we're looking to buy a car.. we're still in the midst of my immigration process.. and it's exam time.
Jeremy does not do well with change, so moving, plus the added stress of car shopping is almost enough to tip him over the edge. Of course, he takes it out on the nearest person... me.
I'm no better.. I am overly sensitive.. bipolar and off meds for 5 years now, though I'm not sure how much longer that will last.. I do not handle people screaming at me very well AT ALL.
I quit smoking cold turkey 3 years, 1 month, 3 weeks and 3.5 days ago -- I have not ONCE since then wanted a cigarette.. but all of this has me 2 seconds from starting up again, I swear.
Just very frustrated, at so many things.
No, I am definitely NOT OK.