by KellyC » April 25th, 2007, 4:09 pm
I am embarrassed to death about what I have become. But I think that if I don't put it all out there, I will just continue to bury it inside, and I will never make the changes for myself that are necessary. So, here we go.
Start: Monday, April 23, 2007.
Weight: 406.3lbs (holy cow)
Height: 6 feet, 2.5 inches
Measurements:
64.75 inch bust
62.5 inch waist
69 inch hips
35.5 inch upper thigh
24.5 inch calf
21 inch upper arm
Goal 1: 300
Goal 2: 200
Goal 3: 173 (and/or size 6-8 ).
Day 1: was hard as hell. Headaches, was super hungry and REALLY cranky. Drank 64oz water (maybe a little more) and 5 MF meals, had cottage cheese and salad for L&G.
Day 2: A little easier. Headache still, not so hungry, much less cranky. Drank 96oz water, had 5 MF meals, cottage cheese, tomatoes and cucumbers for L&G.
Day 3 (Today): I feel amazing. Chai Latte for breakfast, bar for next meal, chix soup, and 32oz water so far. I kept thinking if I could just get to Thursday, past that 3 day mark everyone kept talking about, I would be OK. Turns out, it didn't even take that long, as I feel great today. Small headache still, but I think that might be from no caffiene.
I can't believe I let myself get to 400lbs and pants size 30/32. I am embarrassed beyond belief. My cycles have been screwed up for years, I kept telling myself it was "stress". Stress might have been a small factor, but I'm sure it's the double body weight that really caused it.
I am an emotional eater. It began when I was a child, I would sneak handfuls of chips and crackers and cheese.. hiding in my room to eat.. it always made me feel better. As I got older, those handfuls turned into BAGS.
I have wanted babies since I was a kid. I was that child who carried around a babydoll, fed it, changed it and pushed it in a little stroller every day. When I grew out of the babydoll age, around 9 years old, my baby brother was born. So I had a real life babydoll to care for. I think I changed more diapers than my mom and dad did! When I was 12, I started babysitting, and that has continued to now. My 1st nephew was born August, 2006, so that has kept my baby cravings to a minimum.
But, as much as I want babies, I cannot have one now. For alot of reasons, financial (hubby has 1 more year university), my weight is screwing up my menses so badly that I don't think I am ovulating at all, and even if I could conceive, there is no way that I could physically care for a baby 24 hours a day!
So there it is, my main reason for wanting to FINALLY lose all this weight.
I think, after over 10 years of gaining weight, I have come to terms with the things that used to make me overeat, so I am ready to make the changes necessary to feel like ME again.