by KellyC » February 7th, 2008, 10:50 am
Day 31, diet going ok. Sometimes a struggle to get all meals in. No cheating though. Weight loss slowed this week, TOM ended on Sunday.. but I am still retaining water.. taking it easy on the bouillon to see if it's sodium intake or something else.
Busy.. thinking of all y'all though.. I'm trying to get caught up on journals now that I have an hour. Things here are crazy as always, instead of retyping it all here, I just paste part of my email from yesterday to my best friend.
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For me.. I had my doctors appt. for immigration yesterday, I think it went well, but it was very very long, I was there 3 hours. They did everything, general exam, chest xrays to check heart and lungs, blood tests, urine tests.. the doctor said it is possible the government may make me have more tests before they will approve me, because of my weight. Whatever, I'm not worried aobut it really, as long as I get the work permit, I can wait a while for permanent residency. Plus, I know that all the tests will come out ok. I am really surprisingly healthy given my weight. The doctor yesterday was surprised that my blood pressure is very normal.. lol.. For the heart problems, well, I don't know still. I go back to see the doctor at the clinic next week (though I may cancel because I still haven't found a place to get an echocardiogram except at the hospital and that's why he wanted to see me, was to go over the results), and I am supposed to see a Cardiologist on Feb 25, but I may cancel that one too, if I still cant find a place to get the echo. I am feeling so much better.. I really don't want to continue with the meds or go back to the doctor, I am really sick of doctors now, I have been 6 times in the last 3 weeks. The doctors said they may never know what caused it, in something like 33% of cases they never find a cause. Whatever, as long as it doesn't happen again, I really don't care. I think it was just my body telling me that I needed to slow the hell down and rethink some things. Evelyne has this book she's always reading whenever anyone is sick, it describes the sort of subconscious things that cause our physical ailments.. for the heart, it was pretty cliché really, saying that when the heart is arrhythmic, it is because you are uncertain in your life rhythm, pattern and direction. There was alot more, but that was the basics.
Jeremy and I are doing a little better I guess. I know it is just stress that is making us at each others throats lately, but jeez. It's like it's not stopping lately, every time we turn around, one or both of us is getting hit in the face with something! His boss is being such an ass, instead of being happy with Jer's sales record, he gets on his case about the most random stuff. I am working full time + another 10 or so hours a week.. the secretary quit so now je faire le soumissions et commandes pour Benny.. j n'aime pas! mais non, j le déteste!! ca c'est pas interesante.. et trop alésage.. ca c'est pas mon travail! Serge dit que nous ne cherche pas pour une secretaire nouveau jusque'a l'été! Cinq ou six mois de ceci merde! Not anything I can do about it, I am stuck here until I have a work permit.
Did I tell you I enrolled in the patisserie program at the EMSB.. I start next January in the evenings, if my perm. residence goes through in time. Pretty happy about that. Jess and Jean-Claude et Chantale are talking about opening a resto, in Dollard.. JC is exec. chef at that place downtown, but he's not really happy there, the owners apparently are really strict and aren't letting him be very creative. Anyways, Jess and the others want me to propose a dessert menu for them, so that's pretty exciting. If I can make a salary for them what I make here, that would be awesome.. I'm still making another couple hundred or so a month off of specialty cakes and those damn cookies (yes, I hate making them but this boutique orders them every week, I use the money so I can afford the ingredients for the cakes cuz some of the people pay late and whatever).. I'm so excited, the bakery might actually become a reality sooner rather than later!!
We are going to Quebec City for the weekend after Valentine's day. We will leave early early on Saturday morning, and come home sometime on Sunday. We're going to see the ice hotel, and the Carnaval.. and I want to see Montmorency Chutes all frozen over as well. If there is time I hope we will go to the Aquarium also. I am really looking forward to it. I think it will be alot of fun, and I am happy for a whole weekend away from the computers. I bought for Jeremy (and me too, lol) for Valentine's Day, the book of Kama Sutra.. hahaha! Most of those things are impossible to actually do, but I think we'll have fun looking at the book anyways.
Yesterday made the 30th day I am on my diet, no cheating (except a few times I didn't eat all of the meals I'm supposed to). I have lost 22lbs and 10 inches. No one except Monique has noticed.. Serge told me yesterday I was looking good, though I think it was in reference to me looking much less peaked than I have in the past 2 weeks with this heart thing. I am still wearing my old clothes, which are literally falling off of me.. I have to hold on to my jeans lest they fall down when I walk, I look ridiculous! But, I don't have any pants in the next size down, only 2 sizes down. I don't fit in them quite yet.. but another 2 weeks I should (I am trying to be able to fit in them in time to get you from the airport on the 22nd!). I am starting to be able to wear sweaters I bought in smaller sizes as motivation too. I still struggle with food.. I still want so badly sometimes to go downstairs to the dép and buy huge bags of Doritos and tear through them. Every time I start to feel like that though, I just try to force those thoughts out and think about what colors of summer dresses I will buy... I think about trying to get pregnant next year! There's only 2 things really keeping us from trying to have kids now.. my weight and my immigration.. and now that both of those things are being worked on in earnest.. wow.. Rosie.. I am so excited! Instead of getting all depressed about not having babies.. I am proud of my accomplishments so far.. and I really think this is it for me! THIS TIME, I am doing it! I am succeeding! This is actually happening.. I made it happen.. I am awesome!