The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[katieb920]

01/17/07
So I really was not going to write a journal. But then I was reading everyone else's Journals and they were so inspirational. So here goes my story.

If I get real sappy I am sorry. It is actually 9 years ago today that my mom passed away. I am realizing I am actually alot like her. In a good way and a bad way. When I was 10 years old we moved from Maryland to New Jersey. My father did not make alot of Money when we lived in Maryland. But when he got transferred to Jersey he got a great Raise. So that meant there was more money for Junk. 6 months after we moved up to Jersey my mother was rushed to the hospital. (she was turning yellow) I really did not know what was going on. She was an alcoholic. (Being 10 I did not know what that meant) She was in the hospital for 3 months. During those 3 months my grandmother came and lived with us not fun at all very german and very strict. After the 3 months I was so excited to have my mother back. Only to find out that she was not coming back yet. You see she had to goto rehab for 6 months. So for a total of 9 months I did not see my mother. I was angry so angry. I ended up hating her. So when she came back I could not stand her. We were not friends.

Fast Forward 8 years later (19) I grew up and realized what had really happened with my mother. We became best friends. But at that point I was already heavy. And it also did not help when you goto a cooking school (Culinary Institute of America.) I love to cook I was a chef in a hotel a private chef for very wealthy people and a chef in restaurants. Can you tell I love food.

Fast Forward 7 years (25) I got married to my wonderful husband John (who is also a chef) (He is so supported of this diet.) 3 months after I got married I got pregnant. We were so excited. I was 6 weeks pregnant when my mother passed away. (Massive heart attack.) I gained so much weight because of her passing.

Present. I have really been thinking about my 35th birthday which is coming up in 6 months. I do not want to be my mother. She did not eat healthy she drank way to much coffee. And everything that went into her mouth was either fried food or junk food. I told myself that i can be like my mother in spirit. But not physical. I want to be a good role model for my 8 year old son Matthew. I want to be able to run with him, to throw the ball. Go hiking. I will do this for me and my family.

I have been on this awesome diet for 2 weeks and I have already lost 14.6#. I know it is going to be hard. But I am going to finish this.

Thanks for reading.

Katie

[QT2Lose45]

thanks for sharing, katie.... i hope that journaling will help you through this journey we are all taking together, all for our own separate reasons...

The most important thing now is that you recognize what's happened and why, and you are doing something wonderful to fix it.... I'm sure your mother would be proud of you!! We are all here for you, so feel free to 'use' us!!!

[Sojourner]

...so feel free to 'use' us!!!

Uhhhh........did QT just pimp us all out?

Welcome to journaling, Katie! I'm sure you'll find it very helpful. Thanks for sharing your story (your grandma scared me! LOL). You're doing a great job so far, 14.6 lbs. is awesome! Keep up the good work, girl.

[DonicaB]

Katie~ I fully understand the pain of losing your mother. I lost my mother in Dec. 1994, but it feels like yesterday. I miss her so much. I believe a great deal of my weight issues are steeped in the loss of my mother.

I would like to recommend a wonderful book that helped me deal with the emptiness that women feel when they lose their mother. It is written by Hope Edleman and the name of the book is Motherless Daughters. Reading that book helped me to heal in many ways. I really encourage you to read it.

DonicaB

[dede4wd]

Thanks for posting! I find it helpful not only to write in mine, but to read others and know what they're going through and where they're coming from.

It's nice to "meet you" and I'll be one of the "us" you can use for support if you need me!

DeDe

[katieb920]

So I would like to thank each and everyone on this message board. If it was not for you guys I do not know if I could go through this. The thing is everyone on this board is going through the same thing I am going through.

So anyways went into work yesterday and everyone was going out to eat. They asked me if I wanted to go. I said I could not. They asked me why and I told them the reason. They were like you can go. It would be okay. I tried to explain to them that I do not have the will power just Yet. Is that wrong of me. I do not know but I feel I made the right choice.

As of today being on this wonderful diet I am down 14.6# I have been on this program Since January 2nd and it has been great. Have I had cravings absolutely. But I would like to be thinner for my 35th birthday.

[Sojourner]

...I feel I made the right choice.

Then you did. It's as simple as that.
Besides, it sounds as though you graciously declined the invitation, so what's to worry? Your priority here is YOU!

[DonicaB]

I absolutely agree with Sojo. You made the right choice for YOU. You know better than anyone else what you are ready for and what you're not. I think that being able to say "NO" shows a great deal of determination on your part.

Congrats on the 14#. That is awesome. You're going to look fantastic for your 35th birthday.

DonicaB

[katieb920]

Wow so it has been 10 days since I have written in my Journal. I am so busy that Sometimes I forget I have a journal. I really want to write in it everyday, but by the end of the day I am so tired. I am going to try to write in it a little bit more.

So today I hit the 20# club Actually I hit today 21.6 you have to count that..........

Today was really hard for me though. I had to make a delivery for one of my chefs and I walked in and the only smell I could smell was the wonderful smell of Roasted Garlic. I was drooling. I just could not take it. I ran in dropped off the venison and ran. I said sorry chef i have to go the smell is driving me crazy. I thought my sense of smell was good after I quit smoking. Well try it after 28 days of hardly any food. But otherwise. I did really good. I think I am only going to weigh in every 2 weeks. I think it would be better for me.

Well I will try to write in it more

Katie

[katieb920]

So I have not weighed myself in the past week and a half. (((TOM)))) go away. But I have to say I went and sat on the couch today to put my shoes on and it was the first time in a year that I did not hurt bending over to put my shoes on usually it was so hard for me to breathe.. I was able to bend the whole way. I was so happy.

Katie

[katieb920]

Have not written in my journal in awhile.

Today I almost cheated I was in the car and I drove to my Favorite drive through coffee shop. I was on my cell phone with my friend. I told her to hold on I need to place my order. I finished placing my order. Paid for my coffee and left. My friend said Katie are your still on your diet. I said yes why. She said that I Just orderd my iced coffee with 2 chocolate frosted donuts with sprinkles. I need to get out of this habit. I am 1# away from the 30# mark. I have been having alot of cravings lately. I wish they would just go away.

[Lizabette]

Today I almost cheated ... I am 1# away from the 30# mark. I have been having alot of cravings lately. I wish they would just go away.

KATIE GIRL!
Congratulations for not cheating today!
Congratulations for choosing M/F while being a chef!
You're doing fantastic with almost 30# pounds gone under your belt!
Congratulations for sharing your heart with us...it is not easy, but it is inspirational.
And did I tell you, I love your avatar!
WTG!

[bikipatra]

Have not written in my journal in awhile.

Today I almost cheated I was in the car and I drove to my Favorite drive through coffee shop. I was on my cell phone with my friend. I told her to hold on I need to place my order. I finished placing my order. Paid for my coffee and left. My friend said Katie are your still on your diet. I said yes why. She said that I Just orderd my iced coffee with 2 chocolate frosted donuts with sprinkles. I need to get out of this habit. I am 1# away from the 30# mark. I have been having alot of cravings lately. I wish they would just go away.

I am so envious at the speed at which you are joining these clubs. Not that I would wish a donut on anyone, but....you are still doing so great!!!

[katieb920]

Lizabette, Thank you so much for the kind words. It is very hard being around food all of the time. But it is even harder Being fat. I feel since I have started Medifast I am completing something in my life ( for myself and nobody else.) It has been very hard for me to cook for my husband and son. I am so used to tasting everything I cook. (thank goodness for spearamint gum) But what I have been doing is Making a bunch of meals and freezing them. It is only enough for the two of them.

Biki, You know how I feel I love reading your post. Sometimes I say I wish I could say what I feel But it is very hard for me. Reading everyone else's post I have been able to loosen up a Little and write what I feel. Everyone has been so supportive and I really appreciate it.

I did not eat the donuts. I gave them to my son and his friend as a treat. I just can not wait until the bad habits leave me.

Katie

[bikipatra]

I did not eat the donuts. I gave them to my son and his friend as a treat. I just can not wait until the bad habits leave me.

Katie

It takes a while. I still look at the beer case when I visit the corner store....I knew you wouldn't eat the donuts!