Wow the only thing I can say is I am really depressed. I have gained everything back. I let the summer food take over my body. My feet hurt, my acid reflux is back and is worse, and for a minute there I lost all interest in myself, and my husband. My husband actually brought it up last night. That I have changed, that I do not smile anymore, that I snap at everyone including him and my son. And that I am not the happy person I use to be. We sat and talked for hours last night. A lot of crying on both parts. I explained to him that it was not him that it was me. That I am so embarressed about my weight. That I do not even want him to hold me.
Here is the weird thing, when I lose weight, John gains weight, When I gain weight he loses weight. It is very odd.
I am so confused right now. I honestly keep saying I am going to start tomorrow. Well Today is tomorrow. And I have had my first shake. I am really going to try.
Talking to husband last night really opened my eyes, I am miserable, tired, lazy, fat, disgusted with myself. Right now I do not like myself that much. I can not believe I have gained everything back.
But today I am going to change that.
I am not going to make ridiculous goals. I am going to lose 10 pounds at a time.
Wish me luck.