The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

I'm glad it was easy for you, Katie. It's not been easy for me at all but I'm starting day 2 and I'm committed!

When people ask, I still say I'm doing MF. No one really approves I think - they all think it's too severe or something - but my doctor is OK with it and it works. Of course, I'm not exercising at all so I can't say I'm eating less and exercising more.

I think sometimes people don't know how to handle success, or watching others have success. They may well be jealous of you but that just means they are not ready to take care of themselves, and they wish they were. Kind of nice having someone wish they were you instead of the other way around, right?

Congratulations on being compliant and keep going - I want to see halfway pictures!!!

[bikipatra]

It's really odd that people mention others being "jealous" on this board so often. I was never jealous of anyone who weighed less. Are these feelings you have had? I was just wondering why people think of other women like that. All the women in my life have expressed happiness that I finally did something about my weight and am healthier. I don't think that projecting feelings of jealousy on others helps anyone.

[nickieluv]

Speaking personally, I think it makes me feel a little better when I'm uncomfortable with someone's reaction to label them 'jealous' and dismiss them. It's a way of not internalizing everything and thinking you personally are to blame for someone's attitude. It could be that person just had something else on their mind but you don't know that - so calling it jealousy enables me to move on.

And yes, I was always jealous of thinner women. When you are plagued with very low self-esteem and think you're worthless - well, for me anyway, I felt every woman more attractive than me was a threat in terms of my marriage. And thinner equalled more attractive - I didn't take into account personality or anything else. I couldn't imagine why my husband was with me in the first place, so it wasn't too difficult to think he would leave me in an instant if someone else wanted him.

Now I know my husband better, I trust him more, and I feel so much better about myself that I can see my good qualities. I know what he loves about me and I know that even the thinnest, most beautiful woman is NOT going to be me, and therefore is not going to be who he wants.

I think we're all growing at the same time we are shrinking - learning about ourselves. I don't get jealous of thinner women anymore - I do still wish I looked like them, but that's not the same thing to me. I know now that I am trying to be my own best self, and not copy someone else.

So, Biki, it seems like you've always been pretty confident in yourself - but I haven't, and maybe Katie hasn't. And while not every woman is labeled jealous, some truly are - that does happen. When you have low self-esteem and don't really want to do the work necessary to lose weight, then someone who does lose weight is someone to be jealous of - and rather than feel good about her progress, you get snippy and secretly wait for the day she gains it all back. I have felt this way in the past about women that I don't know very well. My family has been supportive and my true friends are supportive, but I'm telling from being on the other side of the fence that not everyone is happy when you are happy. Jealousy is a fact of life.

Sorry to hijack, Katie - I'd be interested in your perspective, though.

[katieb920]

Wow I really had to think about this for awhile.

Absolutely I am jealous of Thinner women always have and always will be. But I have never wished anyone to gain weight. I have never told anyone when they are trying to lose weight that Oh you are too skinny that you do not need to lose weight. When I was losing weight right before I got married I was at my smallest 139. Everyone kept telling me that I needed to stop losing that I looked sick. When I told them my weight they thought that I was lying. The people that were saying this were people that I was pretty close to, and they have seen me everyday. Not once did a person that I just met tell me that I was losing to much, They were like good for you keep doing it.

I am a positive person, I loved myself when I was heavy and I love myself now, And I am doing this for myself. I will always feel I am the heaviest in the group, and always want to be as skinny as my petite sister. My whole thing is why cant I be jealous. I have never been jealous about anything except my weight. So I think that is A OKAY in my book.

Katie

[nickieluv]

But I have never wished anyone to gain weight.

No, I didn't mean I wished they would gain weight. I just very cynically thought I knew that's what would happen. Sadly, I've never known anyone to lose weight and keep it off. I know it's happened, but I met those people after they were already thin. So in my immediate experience, it doesn't happen.

I have never told anyone when they are trying to lose weight that Oh you are too skinny that you do not need to lose weight.

I have thought this about people sometimes - but since coming here and reading from the people who have been through that, I'm careful to never say it anymore. I figure if someone is losing weight they have a good reason, and they know what their goals are. Now if someone really did look sick I might skirt the issue a little and try to be sure they were feeling OK - but you'd have to be skin and bones, really, and I've never seen anyone that small except on some talk show. Someone here said (maybe several someones) that people are so used to overweight people, that they don't really know what a healthy weight is. So when you lose to a normal BMI and are probably the smallest person in your social circle, people think that's too thin.

In general I don't think it's a good thing to be jealous - it hurts you more than the other person. But I've had those feelings, I understand them, and I believe that other people have those feelings, too. So I'd say - don't feel bad if you're feeling jealous, but try to think it out and reason what the other person has that you want - then figure out how you can get it, instead of hating them for having it. Within reason - no stealing.

I hope you had another compliant day, Katie. How much longer is your vacation? Enjoy it, however long you have - enjoy your kids and their hugs!

[katieb920]

Thanks Nickie, You are a true friend. I do agree with everything you said. But I still think it is okay to be like wow I wish I could be that skinny. Yes I do wish wow, why cant I eat a Mcdonalds extra Value meal (supersized). I know God created us differently but hey you always wonder what if. I have never been mad that my sister was skinnier then me. She use to prance around in the 2 piece bikini while I needed to wear the 1 piece. I think it is just a way of life.

Like earlier I said I loved myself now and I loved myself at 250. I just new at that time I needed to change my life. Who knows Maybe 130 will be to thin for me but I have to see for myself.

I am off this week and then I have to go back to work on tuesday Then it starts my busy season which last until next MAY....... But with me being that busy I will be able to stay compliant. Time flies by. Hope school goes well your first day. Matthew is not looking forward to school. He thinks school is stupid and that they need to change the rules. He is all BOY....... He say's the girls are always hanging around him and his friends. And that they should not even be in the same class

Well off to read some more journals.

Katie

[Mickeyz]

Hi Katie,

I haven't stopped by to see you in a while but I was thinking of you today.

Sounds like you are doing pretty good at getting back on track. Good for you! I had a couple days last week that I got off and I am surprised at the affect it had on my weight overall. But I agree, no need to be unkind to ourselves, just get back on track. I personally try not to use the word "cheat" since it is such a negative word representing something far worse than eating off plan. I think we need to feed our subconscious more positive images. Just my opinion. I love that you are already such a positive upbeat person.

I started thinking about the whole jealousy thing and I have had negative emotions towards women that are thinner or more successful but I never considered what it was until now. I think I may use the word "envy". Plus, I thought they were looking down at me, which probably wasn't true at all.

Sounds like you are enjoying your vacation. I haven't been working for 2 years and there is never time to get bored. I did wonder if I would though.

[bikipatra]

I started thinking about the whole jealousy thing and I have had negative emotions towards women that are thinner or more successful but I never considered what it was until now. I think I may use the word "envy". Plus, I thought they were looking down at me, which probably wasn't true at all.

I didn't want to mention it before at risk of sounding too nerdy, but the correct term for what people have been describing is ENVY. Envy is wanting something someone else has while jealousy is fear of losing something you have or want.

[nickieluv]

Wow, I never knew they were different! It makes sense - I would be envious of someone's thin-ness and want it for myself, but jealous that she might take away my husband. Right? Is that how it works? Man, you learn something new every day. I feel compelled to go check a dictionary and see what other words I've been using incorrectly - I hate it when that happens, I feel ignorant.

Katie - your son is too funny. He must be a handsome little devil to have those girls hanging around. You know the girls get to that point faster than boys - but someday he'll be glad they're there. Someday soon I bet.

Your busy season lasts until May, huh? Well, that'll take you right into maintenance I bet! Here's to being firmly entrenched in our goals next summer - of all kinds, not just weight-loss. We can do it!

[bikipatra]

Wow, I never knew they were different! It makes sense - I would be envious of someone's thin-ness and want it for myself, but jealous that she might take away my husband. Right? Is that how it works? Man, you learn something new every day. I feel compelled to go check a dictionary and see what other words I've been using incorrectly - I hate it when that happens, I feel ignorant.

!

Very good, Nickie! And no you are not ignorant. Those words are used incorrectly all the time in movies, television and books. I just hate it when a word is misused so often that they go ahead and change the dictionary definition to match or make it acceptable. My favorite is nauseous and nauseated. Originally they did not mean the same thing. Nauseous meant causing nausea. So if a person said "I am nauseous" it would mean that they were causing nausea to others not that they were nauseated.

[katieb920]

Wow,
Thanks Mickey and Biki you are so right. I am envious. Never thought about it that way. It has just been so long that I have been using that word that I really never thought about it that way.

Well off to another day doing nothing. I think my son and I are just going to go to the pool and hang out. He has a football scrimage tonight. He is beating himself up about it. See Matthew and His good friend Jimmy were both front tackles(I guess thats what they are) protect the quarterback. But his friend Jimmy could not make weight for the first game so they moved him up to the 5th and 6th grade level. Matthew is 5 feet tall and in 4th grade. He is one of the youngest kids in the fourth grade and one of the biggest. (probably takes after moi ).

Nickie it is so weird I do not want him to grow up and go out with girls. My son is very shy (well not to me and my husband or his best friend) He gets that after his father. I am a very out going person, I will go up to anyone and say Hi. I would still be waiting for my engagement ring if I did not ask John to Marry ME.

But anyways have a great day everyone. I am enclosing a picture of my baby. This was taken at the philadelphia eagles carnival.

Oh biki guess what 4.4# I get to post my before and 1/2 way pictures.

[queenielou]

He looks just like his mom! That's a good thing He has beautiful eyes, too.

Hope you enjoy your day by the pool. And Nickie is right, by the time your busy season is over, you won't even remember what it was like to be heavy. Woohooo!

[Tawanda]

He is a handsome guy Katie and he is very lucky to have a mom who is focused on making sure he and she are healthy, active and stay at a healthy weight for the rest of their lives.

I'm sad to see how many obese and unhealthy young children there are today. When I was young, back in the dark ages, kids weren't over weight very often.....now, it seems like our lives have changed, it isn't as safe for kids to go outside, ride bikes for hours or play away from their own tiny yards.....thus, more television watching and lots more junk foods to eat. I love seeing parents who are determined to have their kids grow up being healthy & fit.

[Mickeyz]

Just stopping by to see how you are doing. Haven't heard from you for a few days. Hope your weekend was good!

[queenielou]

Hey Katie,

I'm sure you're busy since you headed back to work. Just stopping by to say hi! Hope all is well