The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Diana]

Hiya, Beautiful!!

Dayna told me about the trip to the Mac counter (and the bra boutique). She said you looked AMAZING!! I scrolled back to see the pic you posted -- wowwowwowwowwow!!!

Congrats on your studio and launching yourself! Mike and I are so proud of and inspired by you and the incredible growth and changes in your life.

Here's to size 12 and feeling fit and trim!

Love, Di

[Karli]

Thanks for stopping by, Di ! Yeah, I had a really wonderful time with Dayna . Thank you very much for your support .

Well, I don't have *stellar news* but here I am about it anyway. I have not nose-dived or anything, but I have managed to bring myself to a little stall and have been up half a pound for the past couple of days. I have been doing little things like sneaking a bite or two of cheese the other night, and eating a few bites of my husbands meal -- which was *mostly* L/G, but still more than I needed for the day and not quite what I would make for myself.

Last night we went out and I ate some hummous and carrot sticks -- along with the blue cheese on my salad and the "candied" walnuts that came on top. I was tempted to just throw in the towel altogether and eat other things ... but, I couldn't manage to want to do quite that much damage.

But, that "eater girl" in me thinks she is getting away with it, and I can't allow that -- so, I am here to report this and change my ticker. I think I will start a new compliance ticker, too.

I know that the little sneaks have been TOM related and stress related, and that's really all I need to know about it. I just don't need to do that !

So, the hubster and I are heading to the coast for the weekend. This will literally be the first vacation time/true day off I have had since the Xmas holidays. I am really happy about this. We went grocery shopping last night for our food, and we will be camping, but I have stocked myself with L/G's strictly, and I plan to MF for the rest. I *want to want* to stay on program - but, there is this other part of me who thinks "ahhhhh ... finally, some form of vacation -- that means you get a break from *everything* including trying to drop weight and eat right " -- which, obviously, I shouldn't give into. I would just feel like total crap on the other side of it. A real break is to not feel like I have to give into the seeming pull of temptation to eat in a way that is not really serving my higher purpose.

I am planning to do a little clothes shopping at the local boutiques there -- I definitely feel my best for that when I am working the program and feeling slim.

Anyhoo, I will not be here for roll call on Sunday -- but, I will be thinking of you all ! I am going to promise myself right now that whatever happens this weekend, I am going to come back and post about it, and I will roll call on Monday or Tuesday (depending on whichever day we come back).

Cheers !

[bikipatra]

Have a great time, Karli Karl! I'll miss you!

[Tawanda]

Karli, I hope you have a wonderful time and I so understand about the nibbles/bites of off program foods. I look forward to your return next week.

[nickieluv]

Oooh, that nasty 'eater girl' - she gets me all the time. "Look, have some cheese, it's low carb, it won't hurt the plan THAT much." "Have a bigger piece of steak, it's not that bad, go ahead, do it!" I'm doing great at not going back for seconds, so the way I fight her is to put on my plate only what I can eat - and I give the baby a few bites of that, usually, because she asks - so I only get what I'm supposed to.

I know the feeling of 'vacation' eating, too. Why do you think I had so much trouble at the start of summer 'vacation' this year? In time, things will all become clear for us and we will have peace with food. I truly believe that - it's a hard road but that's the ending we have to look forward to. We will learn what food is really for and how we've used it inappropriately to express ourselves and our feelings - and we will not have to ever go back to where we were as long as we are honest and vigilant. And you are being both, here and with yourself.

Have a wonderful weekend - take a few deep breaths for me and relax - when we go away on our vacation in a few months I'll do the same for you, I promise!

[queenielou]

Hope you have a great vacation, Karli! Hopefully you will want to want to be compliant the entire time and have a lovely surprise on the scale when you get back. Enjoy yourself

[Mickeyz]

I know what you mean about the whole vacation thing. I always used it as a throw caution to the wind experience, not that I ever showed any caution in my eating habits at any time, but vacation was even worse! These are the tough habits and behaviors to break, but I know we can do it and still enjoy our vacations and other special occassions. You are so right that you don't have to give in to the temptation and you'll feel so good if you don't. Just get into that mindset and focus on the end goal, not the present desires. It's all about little victories!

Enjoy your trip and your time away!

[nickieluv]

Hey, are you back yet? Was it fabulous and relaxing? Missed you!!

[Karli]

Yeah, I am back. The trip itself was *wonderful* and SO needed. It was needed for me personally, but also for my husband's and my relationship. I started the trip feeling like I had no idea who I was, and that I was going to need to find myself again before we found "us" again and during our first walk on the beach I just felt like I had no idea who he was.

But, we had some *really* important talks about some stuff I have been in debate about telling him for years now ... and, it came out and really wasn't much of a big deal at all -- we just moved on together. Well, that was all so good we are actually going back this weekend, too.

Eating-wise, though, not good AT ALL. Not only has the "eater girl" come out in me, but the eater MONSTER just took over. I really am not sure what in the world took me over, but it was almost as though I have had no control at all. And, I am starting my day today on program, but that has not stuck since last Thursday so I don't have a lot of confidence at the moment. 24 hours into the trip I had made my stomach so rich that I actually woke up in the middle of Saturday night and threw up without even meaning to -- I had just made myself sick with food . That hasn't happened since I was like ... well, 9 or something.

So, I am admittedly hiding. And I thought I might get away with it, but then you asked how everything was and is and I realized that I can't hide forever . And, I have been petrified to step on the scale. Between the last several days and TOM on its way, I feel like I must be a raging 200 pounds again... I know that's not true, but that's how I feel. I feel like it will do more damage to step on the scale than I can handle at the moment. And, I KNOW I can't keep doing what's been happening over the last several days...

I was thinking about it. I can either get myself together now, or wait until I actually start feeling physically uncomfortable (too big for my clothes) again. It's almost as though that would be my reason to stop walking this stupid road and as though my internal discomfort is not enough to make a change.

Well, of course I am not giving up. And, I felt like I was doing really, really well before this trip. And, I think I can do well on this next trip, whereas I could feel something 'going down' before that last one. I think I need to just chalk these days up to having been *really* in need of a break and getting into some kind of rebellious emotional eating mode (this was definitely more along the rebellious lines than is normal), and move on. Get my act together. Stop living in this silly puddle (as Tawanda put it).

[nickieluv]

You know, emotional things happen. Tawanda also said that even thin people make bad choices sometimes - and it sounds like with so much going on, you needed the comfort of food. We all say it shouldn't be that way, but come on, it IS that way so why deny it? But what we can do is turn to food less and less, find other ways and things to help us.

You are a fighter and a winner, my dear, and I will see you at the finish line!

[Serendipity]

Karli Karl, I feel ya on the rebellion. I have bouts of it. The latest one was yesterday when there was leftover cake from my bridge club on Monday. I was standing in my kitchen, knife in hand, cake all ready to be my breakfast! Then suddenly a little voice said "jo, you WILL have these urges. You don't HAVE to react to them". Instead of following that urge, I decided to follow the urge I had to pitch the cake in the trash. jo - 1, cake - 0!!!!!

[Tawanda]

Jo, I just wrote that down so I could read it often -- read it until it is stuck in my mind. Urges to eat 'junk' or 'over indulge' are going to happen. I always will have the choice of whether to give in to the urges.

thank you (glad you won and the cake lost ).

[Mickeyz]

Karli,
Stuff happens. It is all a growing and learning process. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Focus on what is happening now and what you want for tomorrow. I'm pulling for you!

[Lasi]

We are all here for each other. You will find your groove again. Just keep on keeping on. It will fall into place.

[holberry]

Hi Karli,
Youre not hiding , you are here, that's good right?
I too think Tawanda's analogy of the puddle is so right on. Who wants to stay in a yucky puddle. Id rather be walking on the beach ,feeling skinny.

Youre going to do it!
H