The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Lizabette]

KARLI girl,
You may not need my approval, but ya got it in spades!
WTG!

[DogMa]

It sounds like you did great. It's SO hard when you're hungry like that. My resolve is much, much weaker if I wait too long to eat. But sometimes it's out of our control, so what can you do?

The one thing I HAVE done is have a bite or two of my emergency bar to help tide me over till I can eat for real. But even that's not always possible.

Good job!!

[Karli]

Well, thanks for all of your encouragement and support, but unfortunately we shouldn't be getting *too* excited over my compliance during my trip. On the heels of that, I had a largish step off program yesterday.

I fell for a craving that I had developed when I was out of town and held onto for two days. I wasn't trying to be disobedient or rebellious as far as I know, I just wanted it. I wasn't trying to justify it, I just ate it. It was good.

Part of me is disappointed and a little sad and mad. But, I refuse to give into those emotions since they seem to keep me in a backslide. Other parts of me are just wanting to get through today on program (doing fine 2 meals in so far ... a ways to go, though).

So, I was up 2 pounds this morning. *moves ticker*

[DogMa]

I'm guessing it was actually related, at least somewhat, to the earlier incident. At least for me, when I'm too hungry like that and don't give in, I may feel somewhat proud of myself but I also feel deprived. Which means I'm more likely to succumb later on.

It sounds like you have it right, though, Karli. There's no point in recriminations. You ate it, you enjoyed it, and now you can move on.

[Mickeyz]

Good for you...no reason to beat yourself up, just get back on track. Start with the end in mind, keep you goal in focus. I think most everyone here has tripped and stubbed their toe at some time

I loved your post in roll call. It really helps me to see other people staying compliant and getting results, or staying compliant and riding out a stall. Or having a little oops and getting back on track. I know if they can do it, so can I. The support is here.

I'm behind you 100%. We can all do this!

[Karli]

Thanks, ladies. Well, I am happy to report that yesterday was a great success on program and I made it through with full compliancy. I am down half a pound today and I will take it *moves ticker* ! I think you are right Robin, I definitely developed the craving as a result of being starvatious on Saturday -- and I did indeed wind up feeling mostly deprived then ... until I finally gave in on Sunday. If I never got that hungry, things may have been different in many ways, with what was happening for me internally. Lesson learned !

Something interesting, after having gone off on Sunday, even though one meal/day here or there may not seem like a big deal in and of itself (and I still don't think that is in itself), it seems to lead to much bigger problems (for me) and that's why it's better to just stay on. I find myself getting confused about what I want, what I think is good for me and what I think is not. My "demons" start acting up a bit and it becomes a fight to get back on -- "Aa, one more day won't be the end of the world. Start again tomorrow" type of thing. I am glad that I knew better regarding those temptations because they are exactly what seem to keep me off for awhile until I eventually fold my tail between my legs in misery and realize I have no other choice but to go back on.

Anyhoo, I need to get through today on program, too, but I am feeling a little more resolve today than I did yesterday, even. So, cheers to all and here's to being expectant for another great day on program !!

Cheers,
Karli

[bikipatra]

Glad you are feeling more resolve today, Karli Karl!

[DogMa]

It sounds like you're making great progress, both with the actual plan and what for me is the far more important part - learning about your triggers and finding ways to deal with them. Here's to another successful day!

[nickieluv]

learning about your triggers and finding ways to deal with them.

Yes - I would have told you my triggers were either nothing or everything, but now that I have to slow down and LISTEN to my mind and body and not shut everything up with food, I'm realizing I'm not as hopeless as I thought.

Karli, I don't think it matters either that you had treat - if it doesn't keep you from reaching your ultimate goal. Being that you know going off leads to more trouble, then you should probably avoid getting too hungry in the future, but I am very impressed that you recognized what was going on, dealt with it, and moved on. It's like maintenance - if you wanted something, you could just have it and compensate in the rest of your day. That's basically what you did. So don't feel bad.

(I know, that was a few days ago and you're totally over it by now - but I've been a bit behind....)

[Karli]

(I know, that was a few days ago and you're totally over it by now - but I've been a bit behind....)

Well, all I have to say is nope, not over it, apparently. See, NOW I am having problems because I just ate a double helping of cheese chips. This is exactly what I am talking about with regard to going off once and then getting confused and lazy and so on ... argh. I suspected it wouldn't be THAT easy.

My only hope this evening as far as not just letting these cheese chips completely fester is going on an epic mountain bike ride this evening with my husband. I have about an hour and a half before we climb about 1500 feet over about 12-14 miles. I will probably burn about 1500 calories. It doesn't make everything alright, but I am hoping it levels the playing fields a bit and gives me a "cleanish" slate as far as my calorie balance for the day goes (I was compliant all day up until the cheese chips -- one of my main triggers).

Well, this is exactly where I have wanted to just disappear in the past. Just for the record, I don't expect people to just tell me that everything is fine and so on ... I mean, I don't feel like it is. I feel like this is a problem that I am not thrilled about having to figure out how to handle.

For me, I don't just get a craving for a moment, or for a half hour or whatever ... I get it for days until I finally give in. That is a problem.

So, I am not mad. I am not exaclty sad. I am just ... needing to do better. No matter what, I am waking up tomorrow and stepping on the scale and I am moving my ticker to wherever it's needing to go.

[Mickeyz]

I'm not going to say every thing is fine, but I will say that I'm impressed that you are being accountable and really taking a serious look at your actions and the thought process behind them.

You said you were compliant all day. Did you space your meals too far apart or did something else happen to make you hungry or do you think there has been some emotional trigger? Why not just dump the chips down the garbage and then not bring them in the house again? No reason to have temptation around until you feel you can overcome it.

Tomorrow is another day (as Scarlet said ) Don't let the scale be the judge of your actions. Just get back on track, feel good about taking a look at things and be proud for being accountable. You will do better, you're just on a little roller coaster right now.

[bikipatra]

quote="Karli.

For me, I don't just get a craving for a moment, or for a half hour or whatever ... I get it for days until I finally give in. That is a problem.
.[/quote]
I'm the same way with the cravings. I read on here a couple of times that cravings last 15 minutes. I guess we are especially gifted, because I can have one for weeks. I don't always give in, but it's there. They usually go away but after some white knuckling it for a while. This sounds pathetic but sometimes I will just got to bed early so I won't eat something. Or I won't feel safe until the store is closed. My husband has been great in removing my old cheats of bread and cereal from the house. He just doesn't eat them anymore. When he wants bread, he makes homemade whole wheat crepes but just enough for one meal. But when I want to give into a craving badly enough I will take a substitute. One started with Ritz crackers dipped in pancake syrup. Don't you know I felt in control after that one. Sorry to have made this post mostly about me but I was just trying to say I relate and have felt that desperation.

[katieb920]

Hey Karli,
I know exactly what you are going through. Also did it. A few times. The one good thing that I have learned is just do not bring it in the house. My son is going to be 9 in 2 weeks. And you know what he does not even miss it, Yeah when he goes to his friends house he will snack, but at least he is not doing it at home. Can I tell you how hard it was to go shopping last week. I felt like I needed to go through every aisle. But remembering what everyone says just walk the outside lining of the store. And I did. Did not buy any JUNK.
Hope you had a great hike.
Katie

[Lasi]

There is a lot of great advice here for you. I am still very new at this, but I just wanted to say that everyone of us learns as we go along.

Hang in there.

[Karli]

Hi, ladies. Thanks for stopping in and lending a "hand". I have been doing a little thinking. Mickey, when you asked about emotional triggers, at first I thought "oh, no. Everything is just fine." So, no there weren't exactly triggers, but I realized there is something going on. At first when I thought about it, I thought "well, there is this thing ... but I don't think it's related " -- but, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is related (OF COURSE IT IS, KARLI !!).

There are two main things that are kind of constantly going on in my guts, so to speak. One has to do with my marriage, the other has to do with my career path. They are both pretty big things. And, when I think about this last year and the struggles with eating that I have had, it's been the same couple of things at the core of my emotional state, that seem to seek solace in food. Maybe sometimes we just get cravings, but I don't think that's what this is.

The reason I don't think this is just a craving is because I don't really believe I would be willing to sacrifice all my hard work for a flavor in and of itself. There is something else going on there.

The trap I don't want to get into is in thinking that I have to get these other things solved before I can hope to consistently eat right. I think the main point is that I need to learn to cope in healthier ways with whatever stresses I may be feeling. But, if those stresses are so much a part of my daily life (which they are) that I don't even realize they are there sometimes (I can just get "used" to some things, it seems), and dealing with them just disguises itself as a mere food craving, it's easy to not be aware of needing to deal with a problem in another way, if you know what I mean.

So, I think I need to realize that if I am venturing into a mental land in which I am feeling weak about my eating choices, even if I don't have an *unusual* pressing issue or know exactly what's going on with me emotionally, I can pretty much bet that *something* is and that I need to divert my efforts of coping and dealing (especially since eating doesn't actually solve a thing and is therefore not really coping with the problems). And, maybe I ought to stop running from these things that are actually consistently pressing for me -- but that I have been afraid to face and come to grips with.

I think I will seek some counseling.

Another thing is that I imagined some of the forumers in my head saying to me "You just don't want to be thin badly enough" -- I had a moment of trouble with this. For somebody who has watched myself be willing to put the rest of my life in danger in order to be skinny, it's a fine line to walk. However, when all is said and done, it's exactly true. If I wanted to be at my goal weight more than I wanted to eat cheese chips to cope with emotional problems, I wouldn't let the cheese chips stop me. So, yes, I want to be thin -- there is a lot to that for me -- but, just to soothe my inner sage who is constantly watching for eating disordered thoughts, I don't want to be thin enough to sabotage the rest of my life. I think I can trust myself.

In other news, I have not been working the program in the way I know works best for me. I have been eating both my bar and my L/G early, even when I don't have to. That has been happening mainly out of the same kind of emotional eating, actually. So, I will work the program today in the way I know works best for me. Also, I am having hubby lock up the chips (one of the only junkies around anymore -- I don't even let myself order my favorite MF bar (caramel nut) because I know I just can't be trusted).

So, weighed in at 174 this morning and I have changed my ticker to reflect it. I will say that I feel as though I am getting *somewhere* with all of this, considering the fact that I am actually still weighing myself and being accountable to myself even when things don't go down in an ideal way -- vs. hiding from the scale, hiding from the forum and hiding from myself.

Which, btw, I think I see the difference between "hiding away" and "alone time" -- when I am hiding away, I am actually even hiding from myself (and that's not exactly the kind of alone time that's going to be healthy for me).

I did indeed go on a bike ride last night -- not as big as we were originally planning, but still it was good to get out.

This is a LONG post . Thanks for reading .


Cheers !
Karli