The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[JonnaD]

Karli,

It's great to read your journal and "watch" your progress. Unfortunately, I also have to remind myself that while I read it in one evening, it took months of effort on your part to get so far.

Hope your soreness goes away soon so you can enjoy your workouts.

Jonna

[bikipatra]

Karli,

It's great to read your journal and "watch" your progress. Unfortunately, I also have to remind myself that while I read it in one evening, it took months of effort on your part to get so far.

Hope your soreness goes away soon so you can enjoy your workouts.

Jonna

I agree, I can't wait to see what wild and wooly phase she'll go through next!

[Karli]

Karli,

It's great to read your journal and "watch" your progress. Unfortunately, I also have to remind myself that while I read it in one evening, it took months of effort on your part to get so far.

Hope your soreness goes away soon so you can enjoy your workouts.

Jonna

Thank you very much, Jonna ! Yes, I won't lie, it has indeed been *a lot* of effort on my part; some of that time has been easy, some of it has not been. And, I would like to say that it has been fun the whole way through, but that wouldn't be true either. It's just been life. We all know what that's like, and, why would we expect/want this to be something different from life ? Anyway, no matter how one slices it, at least the effort has been worth it -- every step of the way.

And, Biki, thanks for your kind words . I think we both hope that the good habits, which we are choosing and striving to form for ourselves and in our lives, are more than mere phases .

Well, I was indeed up half a pound this morning, but I added a bit of protein to my L/G's yesterday, so I will cut that out today and see how that treats me. Last night I did not have my extra shake before bed, but I did indeed wake up, once again, needing it.

I am about 40 mins away from my wonderful hike with doggy. The sky is clear and the air is crisp, though the sun is not even quite up from behind the mountain ridges yet. This is prime wild animal time in the mountains, but what's the point of fearing it ?

See ya'll on the other side of it .

Cheers,
Karli

[nickieluv]

Karli, I continue to feel really, really happy for you when I read your posts. You are awakened and awakening to all the things you want your life to be. I feel such peace and joy coming from you lately - not so much struggle. You have earned these feelings (not that we don't all deserve them) and that must make it feel so much better! Knowing that you wake up ready to embrace the day and not just face it, and it's because you took the steps to take control. I think you are living the life many dream of.

[Karli]

Nickie, thank you very much for your post, I can't even explain how much it means to me, but it really speaks right to my core. You know, and I think you do , you really hit the nail on the head and I feel so satisfied to be able to share this feeling in some way, with others.

I do indeed feel 'awakened' and as though I am awakening. This is in conjunction with some recent (in the past month) and specific conversations I have had with "the man upstairs." But, I feel as though I have been given another chance at something really amazing and something that was revealed to me about a decade ago, but that I just wasn't ready for at the time so I actually pushed it away. The essence of it all is in continuing to have the occasion to experience and be affirmed in knowing that God is loving, forgiving, and truly cherishing our own highest self.

Ever since I had a similar awakening about 10 years ago, I feel like amidst my pushing away of what it means to me, I have also been trying to "get it back" (though I think it's never really gone anywhere). That is all I will say about all of that right now, because, afterall, most of it I just need to live each day and in everything that I do and say (which is a pretty tall order ... I mean, that would take eternity, don't you think ? ).

Today while I was hiking (which was completely incredible for me, btw) I was thinking about a lot of these things. I often take time in nature to think about these things, and I feel close to God while I am there. And, I was also thinking about your question to me, from awhile ago, about how these changes have affected my relationship with my husband.

I have been giving that question some honest thought, because I have needed to. Actually, I think it's always a very good idea to "check in" with how one is feeling in their relationships. Anyway, it's tough for me to put into words because I am still just gaining perspective on it. I will say that, for me, this weight-loss journey has truly never been "about" the weight, but about a life-style change (which includes the weight). And, losing the weight has just been part of a bunch of changes I have been striving to make in my life (for years, really). The biggest thing that I notice in having had these changes begin to really take place outwardly, is that I had/have been a lot more honest with myself.

So, that honesty has led to a lot of things, and I suspect it will lead to more than I can even fathom at this point. I am more honest with my husband, and because of this, I feel more intimate with him in the deepest sense of that word. I really feel like I am beginning to share my life with him. And, like I am beginning to share myself with him. I am more willing to share and be open with him in general, I am more patient (though I certainly can work on that more), I am more loving (also always in need of more work). And, I think these qualities are a direct result of feeling more at peace with myself/with life.

As I have been taking these amazing hikes with doggy, my bond even with him is changing. I am not as jealous at his ability to bound over logs and raveens, and make it look effortless. When I run, he runs with me, and somehow I can tell he loves me for it. And, though my husband is obviously much different than my dog, I realized that in some respects, my response in this particular arena will be similar. I have honestly been a little jealous of my husband's fitness. He actually *amazes* me with his bicycling. And, because of that jealousy, I think I have been a lot less patient and understanding than I really want to be, when he decides to go biking instead of spend time with me (which used to happen frequently and we still need to check in with each other on that one).

But, when I think about the summertime and what that brings, my husband is not going to be at work everyday for 10 weeks. And, he loves to use that time athletically, of course. And, in my truest nature, so would I. So, I envision he and I doing more physical activities together, like bigger hikes and backpacking trips, even some bicycle rides together, without me getting frustrated, angry, and being generally completely horrible to be around ... LOL. I guess I feel like this world that I used to feel left out of in his life, will suddenly be open in a whole different way, and that this will lead to more bonding experiences for us. And, I can find the courage in myself to embrace this bonding with him, instead of fear it (I have had pretty major issues with closeness).

Also, I just know that he is truly proud of the work I have done to get where I am at. And, he is genuinely happy for me. It's been wonderful, really, to be able to share this time with him -- even the ups and downs. And, he has known for years how I really want to live my life, and I think it's very satisfying for him to see me really getting there and beginning to do it.

Overall, I just feel closer with him, and I feel a desire to continue to grow closer to him. I will have more to share as time goes on, but that's the best I can describe it for now. Thanks for asking !


Cheers,
Karli

[ChynnaDoll]

Oh my gosh Karli, i am soooo "happy" for you that you have such VIM, VIGOR, and VITALITY"!! and looking at life in the beautiful way that you do with such "ENTHUSIAM"...you are truly an "inspiration" to me especially, knowing that if i work hard like you have, with maybe some roadblocks along the way, my journey with this portion of my life will have been well worth it...can't wait till i get there:+)

What is your little dogs name? I am a dog lover..i have 3 myself..two little 5 pound Chihuahua's (Chyna & Precious) and a Maltese named (Rossi)...he had a little cousin "Martinni" who recently passed away from pnuemonia:+(....she was a Bichon frese'...i named both of them from the wine Martinni & Rossi...lol! Ok enough now!

Love,
Chynna

[SuzyQ66]

Karli - you do sound so at peace. Your post is very calming. It's great to know that you are rediscovering things with your hubby and even with God. Both relationships are worth the time and effort we put into them. I don't know where you live...but when you talk about the sun coming up over the mountains - it sounds so serene. I bet the hiking you do is breath taking.

[Karli]

Thanks, Chynna and Sue ! My doggy's name is "Mauka" which means, "Mountains" or "Direction of the Mountains" in Hawaiian (where hubby grew up) -- maybe if hula passes this direction she can verify that. Yeah, I will admit that we live in a truly serene area, and we chose this place because of how much we love it here. It's a very artisitic communtiy, and the mountains are everywhere. My bike loop (when I am doing it) starts at my garage door and I end up in the mountains within minutes, and hubby does anything he wants to, of course , in that arena. It's his play ground, so to speak.

So, today is going to be my biggest athletic day yet. Hubby, Doggy and I did my usual favorite hike this morning, and I was quicker, went further, and pushed harder at it than ever. My husband was a bit surprised, I believe. He said that he has never seen me do what I did today, and it's true, he hasn't. Though, he ain't seen nothin' yet . But now, after I have taught my Saturday piano class, I am heading to the gym to get in my weightlifting that I have been planning to end the week with.

I am really looking forward to a day off tomorrow, and being on the regular 5/1 with maybe an extra shake since my motors are really running. It seems I can't make it through the night without an RTD at my bedside ... not sure what to do about that because it's becoming routine now. But, my engines have been running and running, and that is adding to it all. I have just been waking in the middle of the night with a train running through me... LOL. I am just AWAKE . I am hoping that this next week will stabilize my system a bit and my sleeping will return to normal, and that I won't keep needing a shake and water in the middle of the night. The scale hasn't been moving much, but I am not too concerned about that right now. All I care about is my exercise and properly fueling it -- and right now it's really working for me .

I am hoping that after my body gets a little more used to its new routine and stabilizes, that the weight will start going down again.

Anyway, cheers !

Karli

[nickieluv]

After reading your last couple of posts, Karli, I just wanted to take some time to reflect on them and not just type a hasty, trite reply.

I just continue to feel the world opening up for you. Perhaps it is only that now, you feel free to be more open to all of God's gifts, so they and their values are more clear to you.

You said you have had trouble with closeness, which makes your strides with your marriage an inspiration to me. A lot of people talk about intimacy and really only scratch the surface of what it means. Honesty is so very important to me, and yet I have hidden huge pieces of myself from my husband. I hope to feel part of what you have, that as the weight comes off, those walls will come down. I thought they were gone - but in the last month or so, they have slammed right up between us again. I think I may be experiencing some jealousy of my own, since my husband started his own weight loss program. It's like it's become a competition, and one I can never win, since he has so much less to lose. Ironic, since I really thought I wanted him to do something to lose weight and get healthy. He has myriad health issues. But it seems like now I am afraid he is only changing because he wants to leave me. Ridiculous, I know. But there it is.

Once again my post about you has become a post about me. Funny how you seem to bring things up in me that I don't really think about - or avoid thinking about.

I hope you had a good day of rest today. I am very glad that you are discovering your body and pushing your limits, and finding a way to indulge yourself in working out. Like Sue I can also imagine beautiful sunrises in the mountains - a majestic backdrop for enjoying God's creation each day. You inspire me to become more in touch with the gifts I have been given, and take pleasure in the simple act of living to see each day arrive. I am actually heading upstairs now to bed, and to wake up my husband and share some of this with him. Hopefully he'll be receptive - I probably should wait for a better time - but this is all full within me now and I feel I have to get it out. You are making me feel that I don't want to wait anymore, for anything - that I must grab each moment and make the most of it before it's gone.

Thank you - I appreciate what you've shared and what's it's stirred in me.

[Karli]

Hi, Nickie. You know, I never mind you coming here and talking about whatever moves you, especially if you are moved by something I have written here; that's part of the blessing of realizations and being able to share them with others, they bless us individually, but they are also capable of reaching other receptive minds . I am interested in how things went with your hubby .

Well, I just got back from my workout morning, and oh what a workout morning it has been . I will admit, I am feeling it , but it's a great feeling, really. Having yesterday off from exercizing and being on the regular 5/1 plan (w/PB snack) for a day was pretty nice. I really enjoyed it. And, there was no doubt in my mind about whether I was really going to hit my workouts again starting this morning. But, morning came and I did feel groggy. I heard that same little voice in my head that has sometimes derailed my routine in the past (pre-MF), but it was easily dismissed as I knew it was just a laziness speaking, and nothing else.

And, of course, I am SO glad that I went . I went to the gym first, this morning, to get in my small cardio (though it was about a 200 calorie cardio ) and then weights. On Saturday, I upped my weights because I just had to, then I had the day off from all exercise yesterday, which apparently was just what my body needed to take what I had done all last week, accept it, and then exponentially increase my abilities. So, this morning I upped my weights again and I was pushing it, for sure. There is just no holding back for me now and I can't "take it easy" just so I can balance MF properly. I am just going to go full blow into this, because that is what my entire being is yelling at me about ! So, with a few upped weight-amounts, I am suddenly finding myself pretty close to full strength in a number of lifts, within a week of starting back, from where I left off before MF'ing. That's surprising to some extent.

It was pretty fun as I was lifting because I am really starting to see some muscle-definition peeking out in my legs. I am starting to feel like an athlete again.

Well, then I went home, scooped up doggy, grabbed another bar, and we headed up into the mountains for our hike. I was definitely a bit slower and more tired than when it is the first or only thing that I do for the day, but it felt good none-the-less and I know that I am growing in my stamina and agility by adding it for today. Plus, doggy may not get to come out and play for the next couple of days, so I felt like it was good for him, too.

I have been sometimes feeling like it's silly that I am trying to fuel my workouts with MF, and I am beginning to wonder if I am not already where I have been wanting to get to ? I will give it another week and see how things progress. But, more than anything else, my workouts are the main priority because I don't think I can possibly go without them anymore. I just can't.

So, I am off to the shower, feeling a little low on energy and deciding that I will keep my eating schedule as I had been last week, after wondering if I ought to alter it with having less, if possible. But, I think I need all the calories and carbs that eating schedule was giving me.

Cheers !
Karli

[bikipatra]

Karli, we are going to start calling you the "bionic woman" !

[SuzyQ66]

Way to go Karli!! Keep up the good work. Just reading your latest post made me tired. I just got back from a walk with the dog and am so far just happy getting in my 10,000 steps per day on my pedometer (recommended number of steps). Congrats!!

[Tawanda]

Karli, the joy you feel in moving and exercising is very apparent in your posts. Your energy is impressive and your joy is contagious!

[Karli]

Thanks for your support, ladies ! Hee hee... Biki, Bionic woman . Well, I went to good ole' Wal Mart and got myself hords of workout clothes. I got a number of pants for weightlifting, and a few for strictly running. During my best times I am going to be working out 6 times a week, and there is no way I am going to be doing laudary that often ... hee hee. I got three tank tops, three "sports bras" (though these are generally a very sorry excuse for any kind of bra, let alone a bra that experiences higher impact ), and three T-shirts. I gave hubby a fashion show, too, and he loved it all.

We also talked about something pretty exciting... we may be getting me a road bike for my b-day. That will be really cool and I will be able to have something to focus my athletics on. There are "Century" rides that take place all over the place around here, and my goal this summer is to be able to do a "metric century" (60 miles). There is a metric century ride happening this summer that has about 4,000 feet elevation gain , which I have done hiking but not on a bike. The most I have done on a bike was about 2,000 ... heh. But, I wasn't as light then and I wasn't even as strong. So, we'll see.

Anyway, hubby is *really* excited about the idea of me getting a bike, and I have to say that I am pretty excited about it also. We have a couple of friends that my hubby rides with, and then we all have dinner together after they are done. But, I would really like to be able to join them for the whole thing (and beat them ) .

Well, I am just kind of going into observation mode of my new life... it's interesting.


Cheers,
Karli

[Nancy]

Karli ~

How cool...you'll be ridin' across that goal line in Wally World style...

It sounds like you bought a century of sports clothing!

You look so cute and I am very happy for you - your hard work is paying off! Isn't it interesting to discover all the new things you can do now that you are healthy and more fit?

Have fun enjoying your thinny new life!