The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Karli]

Just a quick and funny thought for the day that makes me laugh :

'I would be skinny, if it wasn't for all this fat'

[Karli]

Okay, I had my first foodmare... yikes, am I happy that was just a dream !! I was eating greasy potato chips and pizza, and even though I didn't go too overboard with either of them, just the fact that I ate any put me back to the wieght I was two roll calls ago. And as I was waking up, I kept going back and forth mentally as to whether or not that was just a dream... until I finally woke completely up and realized it was only a dream. No thanks on those types of dreams... no thanks indeed. GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY !!!

ICKY pooh on that dream, and I realize that I would loathe the feeling of not being compliant, and therefore woke up feeling doubley committed.

Well, I think it's interesting though. Yesterday I dealt with some things that have been emotional triggers for me, and I recognized a slight shift in the way I started thinking about eating, again. I slipped back into the way I used to think about it... kind of that lusty "how are you going to satisfy my needs ?" type way. I caught myself yesterday and realized the need to think differently... but I wonder if that caused my dream ? Plus I felt like I was cheating yesterday because I had a diet soda and felt full after my L/G and was tempted to skip my 5th supplement (though I didn't). All of these things are worth keeping in check, and it seems one needs to hold the reigns pretty tightly.

Anyway, all in all I am very happy about the progress that's being made. I just feel as though I am in a strange transition phase still. Having to guard myself from those things that are trying emotionally, and therefore feeling a bit disconnected from certain people and things, sometimes feeling a bit lonely, but all the while knowing that it's actually the best thing for me and that I am not sacrificing anything I need by doing this.

Okay, that's enough for now. I have all of these things brewing, but they just won't come out yet.

Ta ta,
Karli

[alohacate]

Good to hear I'm not the only one having foodmares! Thanks for sharing this.

[Karli]

Okay, well, I have been at 217.5 for 3 days straight now !! I am feeling a little antsy, but trying not to stress out about it thereby making it worse .

I am mainly writing in to keep track of the patterns I have been living while in this little plateau. I have not exercised in the least over the last few days. Not even so much as taking my doggy for a walk, and I wonder if that has anything to do with it ? Plus I have been a little more emotional than before, and while I knew I would not maintain my initial weight loss mode, I kinda wanted to lose about 5 lbs each week . Ah well.

*Takes a sip of her delicious iced cappuccino*

So, zero exercise, a little more stress and more emotional triggering. Because of the last two, I have had to really keep my mentality in check, and while I have not cheated, sometimes I feel like I am just because I am eating SOMETHING. That's not good. Plus I had that foodmare, plus I have been tempted to do some munching (make a whole vat of popcorn with butter... hmmmmm) NOT GOING TO HAPPEN !! *she tells herself sternly*

It's like I feel as though I have eaten those bad things just because I have been a little tempted to. I guess I have to remind myself that there is a difference, and not to go ahead and eat it anyway. It's the old mentality playing tricks on me.


Okay, bye bye

Karli

[Karli]

WOOOO HOOOO !!! Okay, I just went and tried on the same "fat shorts" that formerly sent me packin' to Dayna and signing myself up with MF. About 2.5 weeks ago, I could barely pull them up and I most certainly could not zip and button them (did I imagine that ?).

Well, I just tried them on again, and while I most CERTAINLY will NOT wear them in public anytime soon, they slid over my bottom and hips without any need for dancing and I was able to zip and button them . Mind you, I did have some muffin tops going on (am I understanding how to use this term ? ).

Anyway, I guess that's what is called an NSV ? Maybe one of my first ones.

So, I went ahead and tried on another pair of shorts that I didn't have the guts to try on before (haven't touched them in over a couple of years) and those "fit", too. Still wearing my same *** dress when I go in public (sometimes I turn it inside out so it looks like I am wearing something else ), and a pair of elastic shorts when I can't bear the dress... but I am getting there, I think.


Karli

[wildtrk]

Mind you, I did have some muffin tops going on (am I understanding how to use this term ? ).

You are indeed!

[Diana]

Mind you, I did have some muffin tops going on (am I understanding how to use this term ? ).

You are indeed!

Spoken by the Muffin Top Master, himself!!

Just poppin' in for a quick hi and virtual hug!! ((((((((((((((((Karli))))))))))))) I'm just SO excited you part of all this, Karli!!!

[Karli]

Thanks for the hug Diana , and thanks for chiming in aloha .


Okay. I had another foodmare, but this one was a mini. I was drinking a regular coffee with real sugar and cream in it, and it wasn't a decided cheat, it was a mindless one (though I never used to drink caffinated coffee before, either). Also, I have read that we are "allowed" coffee and we can even add a little milk or cream, but I know we are not supposed to add the real sugar.

Anyway, once again, I am happy it wasn't real and I KNOW it came from my thoughts yesterday.

The things I have to watch the closest are not these desires to "cheat" but these mindless, habitual mentalities that have wired me into thinking certain ways. So, it's like I just get these impulses to go get food from such and such a place, just because I am out driving around... and then I remember I am not eating that way right now, nor do I want/need to obey such impulses anyway, no matter how I am eating.

I have actually been cooking quite a bit for my husband, and while I am not tempted to "cheat", I have to keep close watch on my impulses that I don't do something without thinking about it, like tasting whatever it is that I am cooking and so on.

So, it's like my biggest fear is that I will just do something in a mindless manner that is not on program, yet is not a purposeful "cheat" either. That I will do it just because I got the impulse and forgot that I am making changes... LOL. Sounds sort of silly, but it's very true.

What I have realized even further is the need to rewire my thinking and mentality. The thing is, I always remember before I act on the impulses, and each time I realize that even if I was not eating a lower calorie diet these days, I genuinely don't wish to be ruled by hungerless impulses anymore. So no matter what diet I am maintaining, that mentality is not something I want to live by anymore.

And that's why I liken MF/TSFL as something like a school. A "place" to learn how to train my mentality, as well as my reactions to my mentality. I feel safe in it, I suspect, because of the structure of the schedule. When I get these impulses I can tell myself that I will be eating in such and such amount of time and that I just ate at such and such amount of time before. I know that I am getting everything that I need from the supplements that I am eating, and I don't have to obey those impulses that try to convince me to just eat for the sake of eating.

I plan to keep a somewhat formal structure to my eating while in transition and in maintenance. This way, I know when I am really hungry and can't seem to make it to the next meal (though this has rarely happened even in the weightloss portion of MF) vs. these impulses convincing me that I'm hungry and that it's time to eat. Don't know if this makes any sense, but there it is for now.

In other news, I got past my three day plateau of 217.5 and lost another pound as of this morning. I did walk doggy yesterday, so perhaps that helped things along. I am trying the full fast today (and maybe tomorrow), 6 supplements instead of 5/1, and no bar.

Tootles,
Karli

[Karli]

Okay, I am about to embark on baking not one, but two chocolate truffle cakes for an event tomorrow evening. I am making everything from scratch... heh. I have been procrastinating this long enough and now, I must face the chocolate and start her up.

Here's to no tastings

[Dayna]

Be strong! You can do it! Our chocolate pudding is WAY better than any ol' stinky truffle cake. Really. I mean it. Really.

[Diana]

oooooh, Karli! You are a much braver woman than I!! I'm DYING to hear how resistant you were to the call of the cacao bean!!

I sometimes play with my medigrub and here's what I came up with for the choco puddin' when I REALLY want something....non-compliant:

Start with the 1/2 c of water, add a pinch of salt, a packet of spelnda and about 1/4 t vanilla (really good vanilla). Whip with a fork or a little whisk, then refridgerate. I think it comes much closer to approximating... something else? (Sometimes, I add almond extract OR just the tiniest drop of peppermint.)

To the bravest woman I know today!! Huzzah!!!

[Karli]

Okay.... well, the cake situation turned into quite an ordeal. First of all, I ran out of regular sugar, and used brown instead of the rest of the white I was supposed to put into the mix. ARGHHHHHH.... then, I ran out of batter and decided to make a triple decker instead of two double deckers. But, it was getting late, so I tried to frost the cake that I had already, but the cakes weren't all the way cool yet and kept melting the truffle frosting and almost sliding off the layer beneath it. But, I got it to balance and refrigerated it overnight (so they glued together), then I just got done frosting it this morning.

I made it through without a single lick or taste. Not even that hard, and I kept a close eye on my impulses, so as not to do something mindlessly. I only got one of those the whole time, and it was a weaker one than I had been having.

The only thing bothering me about it at this point is the fact that I have no idea what the consistency is going to be like, though I am thinking the cakes are pretty dense. Also, I have no idea what the cake tastes like since I had to substitute brown sugar into the mix.... and I will never know what it tastes like since I won't be eating the blasted cake at all. I am just nervous the cake is going to bomb. . But, at least I won't bomb my eating habits, I guess .

Anyway, I think I have to make something else, too. ARGHHHH.... Thanks for your support you two.


Karli

[Karli]

Well, got these goodies all ready to go without a single taste or lick or anything !! . I am *amazed* at how many times the thought crossed my mind (still just old habits) to lick the spoon or my finger or whatever... partly because there is this part of me that hates seeing water or a paper towel just wash the goodies down the drain from off the appartus, but also just to take it for a test ride. Even if all I ever did was lick and taste, it would add up, I have realized.

I somewhat randomly saw some kind of entertainment blurb on Jessica Simpson... the newish blonde beauty that is hitting the celeb scene pretty hard. They were talking about her sleak body and her manage (?) was talking about her diet... he said : "it's basically a don't eat crap diet" ... LOL. I liked that. And I don't know why, but that helped me somehow.

I guess I have thought for most of my life that I was different in that I couldn't just eat whatever I want, whenever I wanted, and as much as I wanted, without gaining weight. I guess that for some reason I thought everybody else didn't have to watch what they ate. After hearing the stuff about Jessica Simpson, something just clicked for me. I thought... 'well, if even Jessica Simpson needs to work at, I guess I can work at it too'.

Well, I have about an hour before I am supposed to be showing up for this event (with my heavy desserts). I am not so sure what I am going to do about eating. Yesterday I did the full fast, and I want to today as well... but that means I may have to just sit there and eat a supplement while all of these other people eat this catered meal. As far as the food part goes, I don't care in the slightest that I am not eating what they are. I just feel like it may be a little strange if I have to sit at a table with these people and basically have nothing on my plate. Stranger things have happened at sea, I guess. Suggestions are appreciated (I may even post a new topic).

Anywho, I will check in later, most likely.


Karli

[Janae]

Karli-

It will be harder at this event if you are trying to stick to the 6-0 and not do a lean & greeen.

If it is buffet...I will tell you that one time when I did not want to eat what was offered in the buffet line(was definitely not L & G!!!)...I asked my husband what he wanted from the buffet and told him to let me get a few of the things on my plate. I did it as we went through the line together. Then, when we sat down to eat, I had a bar in my lap and I was discreetly breaking off tiny pieces and chewing them...while holding my fork, playing just a bit with the food and drinking alot of water. At some point...I slipped him the food. I thought later...we shoulD have just exchanged plates. When it came time to get the dessert from a separate table...my husband told me what he wanted and i went and got it.

It worked because there was enough of the "illusion" that I was eating...noone seemed to notice or discover our ploy!!

It would be a bit harder at a more formal, sit-down affair!

I wish you well!

Janae

[Karli]

Thanks, Janae. I was thinking about doing something like that... have a dish in front of me... move my fork around it... so on and so forth. I may do something like that if I need, and if I can get a L/G there and have to resort to that, of course that would make things simpler.

I just went and did a little bit of praying... hee hee. I know that what I am doing eating-wise is the right thing for me to be doing... so it doesn't have to be a problem. Maybe instead of feeling anxiety about it all, I will look at this as some kind of adventure... I am some kind of secret agent or something ... LOL.

Well, okay, I am going now. Bye bye and thanks a bundle.


Karli