The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Karli, I feel for you. There are obviously some big things that your eating was keeping hidden from you, and now they are coming out. Even if they were not the things that led you to eat years ago, something did. When I first started MF, I was in complete denial about being an emotional eater. Then I started to realize that I practically ONLY ate when I was avoiding some feeling or other - never for true physical hunger.

It's not comfortable to work through this but most likely very necessary. I wish you luck finding a counselor (it's not always easy to find 'the one,' or even 'good enough,' but I trust that you will be led where you need to go).

Always thinking of you.

[Mickeyz]

The trap I don't want to get into is in thinking that I have to get these other things solved before I can hope to consistently eat right. I think the main point is that I need to learn to cope in healthier ways with whatever stresses I may be feeling. But, if those stresses are so much a part of my daily life (which they are) that I don't even realize they are there sometimes (I can just get "used" to some things, it seems), and dealing with them just disguises itself as a mere food craving, it's easy to not be aware of needing to deal with a problem in another way, if you know what I mean.

Karli, I know exactly what you mean. While I was reading this I was just saying "yes" to myself. You put in to words much of what I struggle with. Sometimes it feels like if only this or that weren't happening in my life it would be easier to lose weight. If it wasn't this or that, it would be something else and to cover our emotions with food sure hasn't worked out in the past. And as an emotional eater I don't need stressful emotions to eat, happy emotions cause me to eat too! The really big thing here is that you are recognizing all this and you are ready to deal with it. Hooray for you!

And thanks for stopping by my journal, your feedback is appreciated.

[DogMa]

I'm not even going to address the emotional issues, since you seem to have that covered. But I WILL say ... how often do you go on bike rides like that?? You canNOT expect to burn 1500 calories (or even 1000 or whatever) through exercise and eat less than 1000 calories a day. Forget your emotional eating, your BODY will be screaming for fuel.

Have you spoken to the nurse or nutritionist? Maybe part of the issue is you just need more calories than you're getting.

[Karli]

Hi, Wonderful ladies . Thanks for stopping by ! Yeah, Nickie, I will find the right counselor and thanks for your wonderful support, and, Mickey, your words seem to be speaking straight to me right now -- thanks very much .

Robin, yeah, don't worry. There was a time when I was exercising like that everyday and that's when I jumped off program in March -- but, part of the reason I feel I have been needing MF again is because my life has now become fairly sedate once again (lots of being at home teaching and practicing). So, that ride was not a regular occurance and was on an evening after a slip that included cheese chips (calories) -- so, it was okay. PLUS, I didn't even do as much as we had originally intended. If I was doing that regularly, I wouldn't be trying to be on program.

I loved my exercise when I got it, but I had to come to the realization that I couldn't maintain the level of exercise I was doing as well as my practicing (which is one of my first priorities at the moment). So, I will eat low-cal -- it's a great option .

Well, yesterday was not perfect (I ate extra chicken), but it was a pretty good day and I got through it with even stronger resolve about what I am trying to accomplish and wanting to do that today. Those little temptations can be SO SNEAKY and if you are not paying FULL attention, before you know it, one bite off program is down the hatch and it's tempting to keep going and chuck the whole day (which is devistating).

Anyway, that didn't happen and I weighed in this morning at 173, down a pound from yesterday morning (and it was a screwy morning, so I am pretty happy about it). It is *so much* better for me to stick with the plan the way it works for me than to alter that -- save the bar for afternoon, save the L/G for evening. When I do it that way, it almost seems easy .

Okay. But, I need to get through today. And, I WILL !!! If you all can do it/have done it, so can I . But really, I feel like whatever the day holds for me ... super daper du hunger ... whatever, I want to stick it out. And, this weekend is going to be just me and the dogs (we have two at the moment) so I don't need to fret about going anywhere or being around anybody ... yadda yadda. I want to be *really* good on program today -- and there is no reason I can't be !

Last night when I started eating extra chicken, at first I thought aa... what's the harm. But then I remembered what it was a sign of and realized that the harm is that it's not just about the chicken, but about the reasons I felt the need to do that. So, I stopped. Today, I won't even ever start that .

*kisses*

[Karli]

Okay, something I feel the need to just fess up to (I don't think I have really been willing to fess up to it before -- stupid pride) Eating is fun. I have often used it as a sheer source of entertainment, similar to how somebody would go out for drinks -- I would go out (or stay in ) for eats -- you know, just for fun !

I realized that today. It's not even out of boredom (or at least I didn't think so, but maybe it is), it's just out of wanting to do that thing for fun. I will tell you what is NOT fun, though (and you already know this, but I am just reminding myself) -- being fat and feeling full and lethargic. It's taken me awhile to realize that eating just for fun (out of balance) = things that are completely not fun at all later on.

Yes, I suppose I can still enjoy what I eat ... I mean, I do even now whether it's my L/G or my MF grubba bubba -- but, that's not the REASON I eat it. At least, I am realizing that I need to grow in that not being (one of) the motivation(s) for eating.

tootles.

[nickieluv]

Well, hang on here. I think it can and should be 'one of' the reasons for eating, but just not 'THE' reason to eat. Food tastes good. That's OK. Junk food tastes good. They do that on purpose, so people will buy it and they can make money. While we can learn to appreciate other tastes and enjoy them, like fresh fruit, yogurt, a good cut of meat - that doesn't mean that occasionally wanting ice cream just because it tastes good is wrong. The problem we got into is like you said, eating for entertainment. We need to find new hobbies that we can engage in most of the time. But you better believe that if I see a fabulous dessert when I'm eating out (which will admittedly be much more seldom in my maintenance lifestyle than it was pre-MF), I'm going to have some. I may split it with my husband rather than eat three of them myself, leave some on the plate, but I'm going to enjoy every bite that I choose to take.

If we don't enjoy and SAVOR our food, that's when we fall into the trap of eating more and more just to have some comfort in our mouths - just to keep us busy so we don't have to think about other things too much. If we really took the time to truly enjoy the food, and not just enjoy stuffing it in our mouths (the repetition, the mindlessness), we would probably find we do not actually have a problem with overeating at all - or that the problem was much different from just being 'triggered' by food. In fact, the trigger is probably really some memory associated with that food or texture or color or smell, not the food itself.

I don't think God would give us wonderful foods just to tease us with them. We need to be responsible with them, but they are there for us to enjoy.

Sorry if I missed the mark on this one.

[bikipatra]

God made sex and food fun. It's all about survival. He knew we were full enough of self-will that we wouldn't do them just because we were supposed to so he added a little liveliness to it.

[Karli]

Well, I for one am really still figuring that all out. I just know that I am leaning more on the side of wanting to stop trying to defend the person in me who just wants to justify eating for the sake of eating ! I know that eating serves a purpose, I know it tastes good and can be enjoyed, I just know the difference between eating just for the sake of entertainment, vs eating because I need a meal and enjoying the food which makes up my meal. At least somewhere in me I know that difference .

I have somewhat grumbily awoken at good ol' 3am this morning. I did weigh in, just because I didn't feel right not -- 173, same as yesterday -- but, I know from experience that if I had slept another 4 hours it probably would have been down another pound or so. It's okay though.

Yesterday was a very good day program-wise ... it was *easy* actually !! Which, day 2's typically are not for me. I am feeling some little questionable munchy pangs in me, even this morning. I am going out with a friend today and we are going out for lunch and then to a movie. I just want to remind myself that if the thoughts pass me to step off program, even for a bite, I know what it is a sign of ! It's not about the food -- I KNOW it's an emotional state ! I don't have to give in to that. *just tightening my resolve* -- I really would like to get this bluddy weight off !!

Interestingly, I also had a very successful teaching day yesterday. So much so, that it scared me ... LOL. I think any pangs of off program eating are arising from an anxiety I seem to experience while having some success in a field that means nearly everything to me.

Well, cheers ladies ! Thanks for stopping by .

[bikipatra]

I have somewhat grumbily awoken at good ol' 3am this morning. I did weigh in, just because I didn't feel right not -- 173, same as yesterday -- but, I know from experience that if I had slept another 4 hours it probably would have been down another pound or so. It's okay though.

.

Totally true. Especially if you are drinking all your water. From my own experience is is usually 1.5-2 pounds from 3 to 7.

[Karli]

Yeah, I am two suppies in so far (first at 4am, 2nd at my usual "first" at 7am), nearly 64 oz of water plus about 12 oz of coffee in me -- but I slept another hour and a half and dropped a pound -- which you better bet your bottoms that I am counting as my weight for the day (and I bet it would've been lower under normal circumstances ).

So, 172 for my day's weighin -- not where I want to be, but better than 173 -- Yippeee !

[nickieluv]

Well, I for one am really still figuring that all out. I just know that I am leaning more on the side of wanting to stop trying to defend the person in me who just wants to justify eating for the sake of eating ! I know that eating serves a purpose, I know it tastes good and can be enjoyed, I just know the difference between eating just for the sake of entertainment, vs eating because I need a meal and enjoying the food which makes up my meal. At least somewhere in me I know that difference .

OK - I just wanted to be sure you weren't foregoing all pleasure. I don't think we should plan our days around what we're going to eat next - I just mean, if we happen to be going somewhere that we don't usually go, food can be part of the experience, and that's OK. Like if you went to another country or something.

I'm glad you're doing well today!!

[bikipatra]

OK - I just wanted to be sure you weren't foregoing all pleasure. I don't think we should plan our days around what we're going to eat next - I just mean, if we happen to be going somewhere that we don't usually go, food can be part of the experience, and that's OK. Like if you went to another country or something.

I'm glad you're doing well today!!

Nickie as human beings, on a daily basis, food is part of our experience. There is no reason it shouldn't be enjoyed. When I have my L&G or a cappuccino I enjoy it. I don't eat anything I don't enjoy. Hence, I no longer order chili, eggs etc. I order what I like. I guess I am lucky I like Medifast shakes and drinks.

[Karli]

Well, I for one am really still figuring that all out. I just know that I am leaning more on the side of wanting to stop trying to defend the person in me who just wants to justify eating for the sake of eating ! I know that eating serves a purpose, I know it tastes good and can be enjoyed, I just know the difference between eating just for the sake of entertainment, vs eating because I need a meal and enjoying the food which makes up my meal. At least somewhere in me I know that difference .

OK - I just wanted to be sure you weren't foregoing all pleasure. I don't think we should plan our days around what we're going to eat next - I just mean, if we happen to be going somewhere that we don't usually go, food can be part of the experience, and that's OK. Like if you went to another country or something.

I'm glad you're doing well today!!

Yeah, I think you are right. It's just, there is this thing in me that is tired of constantly defending "my right to eat, damn it !!" -- you know ? It's like there is still this mechanism that is just unwilling to give the fight up -- "well, when I hit maintenance I will eat whatever I want, damn it (who's going to stop me ?), I will just learn how to eat it in proportion" -- that type of thing. Ironically, I think that learning how to actually eat things we love in proportion only happens when the whole defending one's right to eat whatever we want whenever we want yields to something greater -- at least, after several months of having been in quasi-maintenance land (and having both successes and failures) I am convinced this is true for me.

If I went to another country, the food would be part of the experience, but, whereas it may have been the highlight before -- even if I pipe-dreamed it would be in proportion , I just don't care very much about that right now. But, don't worry, hee hee, I am sure I will swing back the other way, too . I'm not writing any laws here . I just get glimpses here and glimpses there ... here a glimpse there a glimpse, everywhere a glimpse glimpse. I know enough to know I will have to be very vigilant. I am just enjoying the idea of it not having such a seeming hold on me.

[nickieluv]

Ironically, I think that learning how to actually eat things we love in proportion only happens when the whole defending one's right to eat whatever we want whenever we want yields to something greater

Yes, yes, yes!! I have had a hard time accepting that I can't eat whatever I want until what I want changes first. Only THEN will I have complete freedom with food.

[Serendipity]

I can't eat whatever I want until what I want changes first.

Very profound, nickie. Great point!