Thanks Biki and DeDe
.
Well, I am feeling just great today. It's a little gloomy outside, and I don't just feel high about life, but I feel really energetic, strong, pretty rested, and all that !
So, yesterday was okay for me MF-wise. I almost got myself into trouble with some stress eating right before the concert, but thankfully that didn't turn into something outrageous and unstoppable (though hubby was very helpful and we ended up needing to lock the stuff in his gun safe, and I don't know the combination, thank GOD
).
I was doing fine up until 5pm when I had my Caramel Nut bar an hour earlier than I was supposed to. And, that was not for any good reason at all, I just wanted it badly. And, it was definitely acting as a trigger for me yesterday (argh... I need to keep being much smarter about those things ! I think the bars and soy crisps are going to stay in the safe for awhile).
So, after the bar I decided to have some soy crisps -- that is not technically a cheat since I hadn't had a snack for the day yet, though I guess that particular combination is not recommended (though it hasn't caused me too much trouble as far as weight loss in the past). Well, then I decided that since I had already done something that wasn't recommended and felt guilty about it (guilt is a trigger for me, too, btw), maybe I ought to have some PB while I am at it, so I did. And, I ate 2 T's
.
Well, I was right on the verge of doing more harm, though I knew from past experience that I might still be okay with what I had already done and that with the concert that evening, I may even still lose by this morning. I was peering into my MF cupboard, contemplating another bar, when my hubby walked in -- after I had already told him not to let me eat anymore because I knew it was just stress eating -- and he immediately got out two plastic grocery bags, told me to load all my trigger-food in there, say goodbye to them for awhile, and that they were heading into the safe
. And, into the safe they went. Which deflated my binge-mode. But, instead of being at peace with it, I was angry, I guess, because before I left for the concert I was mad at hubby and started a stupid tussle with him. argh.
Anyway, the show came and went, and actually it went really, really, well
and I found myself kind of wishing that hubby and I could go get a treat at a resturante (that is not just
my tradition, but a performer's tradition -- I guess it's time to change tradition
) instead of going straight home and spending that evening like everyday during the week is for me -- at home. Well, even though I debated for a little bit over going home versus going out, my decision was not really that hard. I knew what I needed to do and so we walked into the house where my life just went back to normal again
, but, I was satisfied with it. I did have a hot cocoa to end the evening, which was an extra suppy on top of my snacking, but, I actually needed it as I was hungry after the concert and knew I wouldn't sleep if I didn't have it (plus it was pretty close to 3 hours since my last one anyway).
Well, I was down nearly a pound this morning. So, I feel grateful that my little episode yesterday stayed more or less contained and that I didn't completely ruin what I had been working on this week with a few moments of stupidity and weakness (that's all it takes, ladies and gentlemen... a few measly moments
).
So, this morning I woke up with my little calendar, weighed in and wrote down my weight, ate my oatmeal just like the calendar said I would, drank my coffee, I am drinking my water, and got here on the forum. This is my life, and, though sometimes I have to wrestle with the "beast" a bit, everyday I stick with my life that I have now, the "beast" loses its grip on me and the wrestle loses is potency. Or, so it seems for now.
Cheers,
Karli