The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[MerryMary]

... makes me feel something like I am running toward the finish line with everybody cheering me on !!

WTG KARLI!!!

[Karli]

Biki -- I am not too sure about the bangs in this photo. I think the photo is kinda funny, actually, and I am hoping that my "after" photos will come out much better. But, one thing that I realized is that a bad photo is not the end of me anymore ! That's pretty great . Plus, I don't think it's all that bad anyway.

Thanks for the cheers, Mary !


So, today was fantastic ! Not the high I felt when I put on my skinny jeans in the dressing room for the first time, but something more fulfilling than that. No matter what, I just keep realizing deep within myself that having a nice butt or whatever, is truly not the be-all and end-all for me. There is a lot more to life, but having that other stuff just doesn't hurt, either. It's part of my artistic self... hee hee .

Anyway, I have been just living my life and there have been so many things helping me to realize that I am on the right path and going the right direction.

Today I spent some time clearing out my armour. It's time, I realized. I am also working on my closet. I can't believe the stuff that's in there ! It's just grodi to the max (that's really fun to say). It's all stuff that I kept, thinking that I would like it more when I could fit into it better, but now with a lot of it, first of all it's too big and baggy, but second of all I just know I don't like. So, I am making room for what's to come in my life. And, it's really, really, good .

On an eating note, I have realized that right now, the more structure I have the better. Since I am not able to completely trust myself with the Peanut Butter or the Soy crisps right now, I am not scheduling them as a possible snack for the day. They won't show up on my schedule until I know I can truly trust myself with them again. So, until that time, my snack option is quick soup. And, for the past two days, I have just chosen to go without. And, deciding to delineate what my choice of snack is for a given day, should I feel I need it, has proven to be of a great help for me.

Also, today I realized that I messed up in my planning for my meal day. And, I was leaving the house and actually driving down the street when I felt pretty hungry, looked at my watch, and realized I would miss my supplement time. And, that changed what I was going to have because I had to just drive back home, run into the house, grab something and go, when I had been planning to have soup when I returned. Well, my two fall back rules kicked in :

1. I can replace any meal at any time with a shake or RTD
2. I can change items around if something comes up that i didn't foresee in my scheduling.

So, while my first reaction was a bit of panic since I have been pretty militant about sticking to my schedule, my emergency rules kicked in and I grabbed a bar and felt just fine about it since it fit into my second fall-back rule.

Anyway, cheers to all.

Karli

[Karli]

Well, today is just amazing so far. The weather has been warming up quite a bit more than it had been and the sky is partly clear. But, there is just that great morning light going through the trees and I just can't help but be so thankful today. I am sitting here in a new outfit, new from my closet, one of the ones that could be salvaged. It's fun and I feel very feminine.

Last night after I finished all my supps, hubby came home from a bike ride (yes, he goes night riding in the mountains... argh ) and started cooking himself "dinner" (at 9:30 at night). It smelled SO good and instead of staying in the office and trying to let my pull to the food pass, I went out there and just looked at it. And, then I gave in and finally had my snack for the day, but instead of it being the quicksoup, it was PB. But, I was really good about it and didn't have more than is allowed.

So, I woke up this morning and I am down a half pound below ticker. I'll take it ! TOM is very near and I have two concerts this weekend with a dress rehearsal on Thursday evening. Kind of a lot going on, but I feel okay about it all and I will just keep planning ahead so that my meals are not anything that I need to stress over (how wonderful to have something SO EASY to take with me when I am concertizing !!).

Off for now, but I just felt like posting in .


Cheers,
Karli

[nickieluv]

Karli;

I am so with you! It is a WONDERFUL feeling to clean out the closet and throw away all the hideous crap you used to have to wear because it was all that would fit!! That should be an NSV all it's own.

Good job with the PB - I am staying away, too, after my oops with the cheese - I'm just not going to risk it. But learning to trust yourself to control those tempting substances is part of this road we're on. OK, so you're a few states ahead of me on the road, but I like to think we're on the same interstate!

[SuzyQ66]

Karli - you are doing such a wonderful job - you are almost to goal...that is so great. . And your postings just seem so calm and happy - it's very refreshing. New clothes sounds exciting also. I hope you have a wonderful time at your concerts and by the way - your picture is beautiful and I like the bangs.

[bikipatra]

Today I spent some time clearing out my armour. It's time, I realized. I am also working on my closet. I can't believe the stuff that's in there ! It's just grodi to the max (that's really fun to say). It's all stuff that I kept, thinking that I would like it more when I could fit into it better, but now with a lot of it, first of all it's too big and baggy, but second of all I just know I don't like. So, I am making room for what's to come in my life. And, it's really, really, good .




Karli

I think the (Freudian) slip of armour for armoire is very telling...

[Karli]

oh, ha ha... thanks for the spelling correction .

[bikipatra]

oh, ha ha... thanks for the spelling correction .

I wasn't a joke. You did use that clothing like armour, you had to, and you are paring things down now.

[Karli]

Nickie, you are funny. Actually, I find it quite an honor if you like to think we are on the same highway .

Karli - you are doing such a wonderful job - you are almost to goal...that is so great. . And your postings just seem so calm and happy - it's very refreshing. New clothes sounds exciting also. I hope you have a wonderful time at your concerts and by the way - your picture is beautiful and I like the bangs.

Sue, I really appreciate your post. I hadn't really thought about the fact that I am a lot more calm and happy lately. I mean, I knew it but I just didn't think about it as much. I guess it makes sense that my posts would reflect that.

After reading what you wrote, I was thinking about what Lizabette said to me a little over a week ago when she reminded me to be at peace with what I was trying to accomplish. And, I think it's a good way to describe it.

Thanks for your encouragement and support, Sue, I appreciate it.

And, I have to say, whomever may be holding me in your prayers, I really appreciate it because I can really feel it .


Cheers,
Karli

[Lauren]

Karli, you look beautiful and serene in your picture! Mazel tov!

Lauren

[nickieluv]

oh, ha ha... thanks for the spelling correction .

I wasn't a joke. You did use that clothing like armour, you had to, and you are paring things down now.

I get what Biki is saying here. When I first read your post I had to think for a minute about what you meant before I came up with armoire. Especially given things you have posted here in your journal, Karli, I think your clothing was another line of defense against the world, and the way your appearance can draw unwanted attention. Now you are using your strength to deal with that, instead of erecting walls to keep you safe - which have the added effect of keeping you prisoner.

On a random note - I've read at the bottom of every post of yours that you are six feeet tall - but it wasn't until two or three days ago when you posted about being tall with flaming red hair that I actually visualized your height. Maybe you should consider modeling for an athletics company!

[Sojourner]

I wasn't a joke.

I think the (Freudian) slip of I for It is very telling...

[Karli]

oh, ha ha... thanks for the spelling correction .

I wasn't a joke. You did use that clothing like armour, you had to, and you are paring things down now.

I get what Biki is saying here. When I first read your post I had to think for a minute about what you meant before I came up with armoire. Especially given things you have posted here in your journal, Karli, I think your clothing was another line of defense against the world, and the way your appearance can draw unwanted attention. Now you are using your strength to deal with that, instead of erecting walls to keep you safe - which have the added effect of keeping you prisoner.

Yes, this is very true. You and Biki are right, as I think this is part of what she was referring to as well. The first time I went out into the world in my new jeans, I actually felt like I was naked or doing something wrong because my shape was apparent and not hidden. Well, I have a ways to go with this all. There is a lot mixed into it, but I know that wishing to be myself is not wrong, that much I do know. So, I will stand in what I know is right, in order to work it out.

On a random note - I've read at the bottom of every post of yours that you are six feeet tall - but it wasn't until two or three days ago when you posted about being tall with flaming red hair that I actually visualized your height. Maybe you should consider modeling for an athletics company!

Actually, I really like the idea of this. When I get back into shape maybe this would be an option, who knows ? But then again, maybe the idea of it and the reality of it would be two very different things, and the reality of it a lot less desireable than the idea of it. That is often the case .

Lauren and Sojo, thanks for stopping by !


Now, on my MF front. I have to say, I am really, really proud of myself for how I did yesterday. I had a situation where I had to leave the house right away and was not going to have time to fix my L/G -- or so I thought -- because of it, so I took my bar with me and ate it while I was out. Well, I ended up getting home in time to make my L/G afterall and that was going to be the only time I was going to be able to have it yesterday, so I panicked because I felt like I really needed it to keep myself on track. So, I made that then, too. Which meant that I ate my L/G and bar within half an hour of each other, actually, and messed up my meal plan for the day.

Well, I knew I could add a supplement, but I really didn't want to do that if I didn't have to and I seemed to be facing a binge temptation, thinking I had already screwed things up so I might as well keep going. But, then I did the math and realized that I could stretch my next two meals out to 4 hours between them each, and that I wouldn't have to add anything. And, what was seeming like a disaster eating day for me, suddenly became normal as far as intake quantity, and even no snack !

It's was just such an interesting shift in thought that took place. At first I was tempted to chuck everything I had been working because I messed that one thing up, but then I realized I really had some choices and beyond that, I started to realize that I didn't want to mess up what I had been doing if I could help it. I realized that I could control what happened with my eating for the rest of the day and that I wasn't just at the whim of some outside force or pull.

So, I did indeed finish off the day with the restrain that I wanted. That is such a BOOST ! I guess I love my schedule and my MF, and myself . Because I was so good yesterday I got two little stickers next to the day in my calendar instead of just the usual one .

Cheers to All,
Karli

[nickieluv]

I love the thought of you having little smiley-face stickers all over a calendar. (They may not be smilies, but that's what I picture. ) It makes my big red numbers seem a little lackluster. Maybe I will do numbers AND stickers. Why should you have all the fun?

I really understand what you're saying about your plan yesterday. It is such a shift to realize that having things not go as you originally planned does not mean everything is a loss. For me I think this is a control issue - or rather, that I hate feeling OUT of control. I can relate that to other things, too - like just because I planned to pay bills but didn't have time, that doesn't mean I wasted a whole day. Or just because I wanted to get through a lesson plan but the class was late, that doesn't mean they got nothing out of what class time we did have.

It's more adjustment of that all-or-nothing thought process. Or right-or-wrong. There are a lot of gray areas, a lot of room for compromises. Just because something isn't MY way doesn't mean it's the wrong way. Thanks for bringing this back into my mind. And congratulations on making your day go well yesterday.

[KeleeGrl]

Karli, good for you! You are definitely an inspiration and I refer back to your journals often....thanks for the great insights!