Thanks so much, Lizabette and Tawanda !!
.
Okay. I put the skinny jeans to the test and went ahead and wore them out into public yesterday. Did I already say that they make me feel like an entirely different person ? It's really strange, but it's oh so true. I went to the Hall yesterday to watch a student-presentation on some Opera scenes and I wore my new jeans, my new hoop earings, one of my new pairs of shoes, and a scarfy thing as an accessory. I felt ... well, really different.
So, since I went to school there and a lot of people know me, in my own mind and for myself I had to pretend like I was a traveller from out of town, visiting to check out what goes on musically at this school (I pretended I was somebody *very* important ... hee hee
) in order to give my new self the confidence and room to exist. It was really pretty fun
, but it also pushed me a bit to feel like I could "present" myself with an entirely new look to the world. I went yesterday evening to sneak a bit of a concert that my husband was playing in and my voice teacher was performing in, and again, presented my skinny jeans to the world (with different shoes... hee hee). And, btw, the skinny jeans are already getting a bit big
. I think it's a success.
One thing along these lines, though. People treat me differently. I mean, sometimes they just stop what they are saying when I walk by them and they just look at me...
. And, this is the kind of thing I have sometimes been unsure about whether I am willing and ready to handle... I am going to have to become willing to be
harsh, I think, about protecting my marriage (maybe I need a bigger diamond
). I am going to have to be willing to be somewhat of a spectacle which I have already had to get used to my whole life being so tall with flaming red hair (it's a little less flaming in the past few years), and, I am going to have to be grateful for it because it will only help my performing career if I can get this kind of attention from people and therefore sell more tickets when it comes time for me to give my solo recitals
(giving self a pep-talk).
Anyway, this is a whole new life I am venturing on now... I guess I hope I am comfortable enough, strong enough, and enjoy it enough to
keep it. There were good reasons I hid myself behind my fat
.
The scale was really low this morning, and the funny thing is that it didn't start off too low until I decided to take my long underwear off and weighin in the buck, like the good ol' days. And then, it was down a pound and a half from where it had been ... LOL. I guess it was worth the removeal of the unders.
I can see my new life now, just around the corner ... and, I will get there. Thanks for all of your support, prayers, and best wishes
.
Cheers,
Karli