The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Karli]

Well, these recent evening munchies are hitting me very hard at the moment. I have realized part of what it is anyway. It's the fact that it gets dark and I have been in the house a lot of the day, and my only plans are to be in the house for the rest of the evening. That can get to me sometimes. I am *REALLY* antsy about Sunday's concert and I have all of this energy. I am almost tempted to go for a second run.... maybe I actually will.

I am frustrated because I already ate my L/G, so going out to eat with the hubby is not an option. Going out for drinks, not an option. Going to the movies is a little option, though I am not feeling strong enough to face the popcorn aroma. So, pretty much, here I am. It's very obvious that food is a major form of entertainment, not just for me, but for this society. I am crabby .

And, I already ate my last suppy which means that if I am not in bed by 10:30, I stand a really good chance of getting super hungry again. And, it was another bar, which means that I had 3 bars in total today -- still only 5 suppies, but 3 of those were bars. I did have strenuous exercise and I had a bar before and after as my regular meals, instead of adding another whole suppy. I have heard people say that sometimes they actually add a bar if the exercise has been a lot (as in a second bar on top of the regular day's plan), which it was. I felt okay with the two bars, but I have questions now about this third because it was merely due to the fact that I was craving the chocolate... argh. And three bars is just plain lots of 'em and I want to lock those suckers in the safe.

Anyway, I am trying to keep it at that and not make this evening a major downfall. I may have to tank down the diet sodas (don't worry, not a single calorie, carb, and not even any sodium at all). I also had 3 extra black olives .

Okay... off for now.

[bikipatra]

I need to get some olives! Sorry you are having a hard time Karli but I can relate to your restlessness. I feel like eating then too. Stress I can handle but not having anything to do is the danger zone!

[Karli]

Biki, thank you very much for your support, I truly appreciate it .

Well, weighed in this morning and I am at 169, even, which means I lost half a pound overnight, which is pretty normal and average for me when I am losing consistently (and I adjusted my ticker to match so I can move it tomorrow if I need to after I weigh in for Roll Call ). Yesterday started off really easy and then got progressively really harder , but I definitely consider myself to still be in the game.

Now, what I learned from yesterday is that I need to plan better on several fronts. For one, instead of letting the evening munchies shock and awe me, I need to plan my day out better to deal with what seems to be a trend for now. Tonight will already be different since family is coming to town and we will go out together (need to find a L/G out), and then spend some time together. I won't hit the doldrums the same way.

But also, if I exercise I will have an eating plan, and no matter what, I am at least adding an extra suppy today. My main goal with my eating over the next few days is to keep me out of binge-mode and keep me IN ketosis, so, even if I don't lose weight as fast (and who really knows how my three bars + plus an extra suppy affected my weightloss yesterday ?), I consider myself successful if I don't binge and spiral off-program altogether.

So, since I have been having extra rehearsals and extra nerves, and truly burning extra calories and needing extra water because of it, I am probably going to add a suppy to my day no matter what, in order to fight off the binge-mode. This is what my plan is :

6:30 -- oatmeal
9:30 -- chai latte (bar, if I exercise as hard as I think I will)
12:30 -- bar
2:30 -- soup or shake
4:30 -- shake
7 -- L/G
9/10 -- hot cocoa


Cheers,
Karli

[Karli]

So, I am hanging around a bit lately. I guess I need it to keep myself on track. Not sure I will be heading outside for a run today, it's pretty stormy. Which means that I may not have my extra suppy at all since so far I am doing just fine in this area (it's later that really starts to get me, it seems). That's fine. The way it's set up I don't need to worry about it. Plain and simple.

A lot of what I have been doing with my life lately has been pointing me in the direction of something I learned when I took a rock-climbing class a number of years ago :

"Trust your equipment"

Pretty plain and simple, but it's kinda resonated with me for many things over the years. For example, I need to trust my preparation systems as I prepared my music for this weekend. I need to trust my instrument as I perform. And, I need to trust the plan that I have through MF in dealing with my eating and my weight. When I worry about any of these things, I am only adding extra stress that simply doesn't need to be there.

One pattern I have noticed about myself is that everytime I get within 10 pounds of what my said goal weight is, I go off program. I just freak out and go through this big "thing." This seems to be the case each time I pass into a lower decade of numbers, too. And the lower it gets, the harder it seems to not give into this whole thing. I guess I will just brace myself a bit for what's coming.

It's just so strange how moving my goal weight to 155 makes a difference for me mentally. There have been a number of times now where I feel this strange anxiety festering about my weight and being in the 60's, and then I hear this other voice say : "well, your goal weight is 155 now so it's okay" and then I feel my whole body relax. What's the frikin' deal ? I wasn't even aware of this "situation" so clearly before. Geez. I just start pushing up against some big wall, and it seems literally very strange to me that there are people who just get to their goal without this resistence toward the end.

But, see, everything in my life is like that . I have a difficult time finishing things without meeting some big resistence in the process. Getting my degree, for example, was a pretty major thing for me. I think there is a major sense of fear involved, mixed with some kind of thought that I don't deserve whatever it is that I am reaching for. I know I am not alone in this as I have a couple of friends and acquaintances that only have to finish a project and they would graduate, but they don't. I am sure there is something somebody could psycho analyze about it.

But who cares, right ? I am trying not to worry about it and just push forward. Sometimes just pushing forward is best, I guess. And, along those lines, I am going to call somebody and book a piano concert for July. This is going to be a MAJOR step for me and if I actually do book this concert, I will know there has been some big time progress in my life.

So, my MF day as it is actually shaping up :

6:30 -- oatmeal
9:30 -- shake
12:30 -- s'mores bar
3:30 -- RTD
6:00 -- L/G
9:00 -- Hot cocoa

[Karli]

Feeling pretty great right now. Today was... well, easy. I didn't have anything extra. I wasn't frought with munchies, and I ate out with the best choices I could have made.

We went Mexican, and there was a moment when I realized that no matter what I ordered, it was most likely going to have more of something in it than I wanted. So, for a moment I just thought about ordering anything on the menu. But, then I realized that I really didn't want to do that, I wanted to do the best I could. So, I ended up with a fajita salad with double the meat (I always need to order double the meat because they don't put enough on and have no idea what 7 oz of chicken actually looks like). The chicken had some seasoning on it that I know will have had extra sodium and who knows what else, and I am quite sure the veggies had extra oil. But, for some reason I think I will still see a loss tomorrow, I am sure I did not go out of ketosis, and I really made the absolute best decision that I felt I could. I didn't have any chips, I didn't eat the shell to my salad, I didn't have any dressing... overall, it was good.

So anyway, interested in what the scale reads tomorrow morning. I won't hang my life on it, but I am interested. I am ready to lose more weight now.

MF plan for tomorrow (most likely will include an extra suppy since it's game-day) :

7 -- oatmeal
9:30 -- Shake
12:30 -- RTD, BAR or L/G
2:30 -- Bar or RTD
4:00 -- Bar or RTD (mid-concert, hee hee)
6:00 -- L/G or soup
9 -- hot cocoa


Cheers,
Karli

[Taangrl21]

Hey there girlie...glad to hear you are feeling great...its so good to have your thoughts back on the board...hope the rest of the weekend goes good for ya...catch ya later.

[Tawanda]

Karli, I am enjoying reading your journal. You share some very thoughtful and thought provoking things that I feel I need to read. The two times I've lost a 'good amount' of weight in the last 6 years, both stopped at the same number and then I began eating frantically again for some reason. I don't know why I haven't allowed myself to go lower, but it is either a really odd coincidence or I need to adjust my thinking before I hit that number again.

[Karli]

Top of the mornin' to ya' . Thanks for stopping by, Debra and Tawanda . I appreciate the thoughts and support and it's certainly nice to know we aren't all alone in our eating and weightloss travels, eh ?


Well, I am up half a pound from yesterday morning, weighing in at 169.5. Who knows why for sure, but I will blame it on the fajita salad. It's okay though, I know I am not out of ketosis and that's what really matters to me right now. Gotta do the thing today and I don't expect a bunch of weightloss overnight tonight, either, but I will gladly take compliance and maintenance as my successes for the day.

Overall, I'm feeling great ! What day is this ? I don't know, but it's been several now and I feel better for sure. Good to be back in the medizone. I will admit, I have some anxiety over where I am at weight-wise. For some reason I am nervous that my weightloss will slow to a halt and that I will agonize over these last 10-15 pounds. And, I feel kind of guilty saying that, too, since I think I have been pretty blessed in my results overall.

I will just say that I feel calm and ready for the week. It's been awhile since I felt like I could stare a whole week of eating in the face and feel pretty confident about what my route is going to be. It's still one day and one moment at a time, but, it will be that way no matter what I do. So, I might as well move forward with my goal here.

Cheers to all,
Karli

[nickieluv]

Karli;

I have been continuing to read your journal, but lately I haven't felt like I knew just what to say. Can I be really honest? Part of me thinks being almost to goal will be so great that I can't imagine having a hard time with it. But not only am I not even close, I am not you. So, I think if you have to tell yourself your goal is 155, or 120 even, in order to feel OK about getting where you need to be, that's a good idea.

I will be thinking of you today, and sending you strength and peace. Good luck and try to have a good time. Enjoy it.

[DonicaB]

It's still one day and one moment at a time, but, it will be that way no matter what I do. So, I might as well move forward with my goal here.

Karli~ It truly is one day and one moment at a time. My downfall is getting past 2 months on plan. I have done MF twice in the past, but only for 2 months. The beginning of March will be my 2 months this time. I am nervous about it, but keep telling myself......it's coming no matter what I do........so.......I have a choice to make...........stay on plan.......or quit once again at 2 months. I don't want to quit and I don't know why I always do at that time.

I don't really know what I am trying to say, except I think I understand some of what you are feeling. I'm glad you want to move forward and I will be right here moving forward with you.

DonicaB

[Taangrl21]

Just a question...is the 155 a goal you are chosing for yourself or is it a number based upon you height/frame type of thing?

[Karli]

Just a question...is the 155 a goal you are chosing for yourself or is it a number based upon you height/frame type of thing?

Both .


Thanks for stopping by, Nickie, Donica and Debra. Yeah, for some reason it just takes me some shifting and a step back to realize that I am at such and such a place regarding my relationship between present weight and goal, and that I am okay with it and ready to move forward. Silliest thing is that when I lost 5 pounds in one week a little while back, sending me from mid-way into the 70's to the 60's, it freaked me out. I am weird that way, I guess.

Donica, I get what you mean and I think you are going to succeed this time !! And, I will be here (along with others) to see you do it, too !!

Well, the concert went pretty well yesterday. I am generally happy about it and wanting more, even. There are plans in the works but I will save that for a later date.

I added an extra bar yesterday mid-concert, and I have dropped a pound overnight, weighing in at 168.5 this morning. Feeling tired but great ! And, looking forward to a great, normal 5/1 day.


7 -- oatmeal
10 -- Shake or RTD
1 -- L/G, bar, or RTD
4 -- Soup
6 -- Soup, eggs or L/G
9 -- hot cocoa

[nickieluv]

I am so glad your performance went well! I know I've said I wish I could be where you are professionally and giving concerts, but reading your journal reminds me of how much work and stress and fear that entails and I know I couldn't handle it right now! Baby steps for me in that arena, too, I guess.

I hope above all that you are happy today and every day. Oh, and I remember linking to one of your vocals online - can you do that for some other performances? Especially piano solos - I love to hear them and I would love to get a feel for your technique and style. I would love someday to do a 2-piano 4-hands concert but it's so hard to find someone who's up for that. Have you ever done something like that?

Well, this got pretty off the MF track. Have a great, normal 5-1 day!

[bikipatra]

Well, this got pretty off the MF track.

What a relief. Hopefully we all have lives beyond 5-1 and water, although it doesn't seem like it some days for me!

[jlaman79]

I agree Biki!

Karli, I haven't had much time to read and keep up with everyone but it sounds like you are doing well. Glad to see it.