Biki, thanks for thinking of me, and thank you DeDe and Nickie, too. I have missed you and my other friends here. Well, I have been on some kind of adventure for a week or more (when did I last post in my journal ? Aa, who cares.). I realize that I need the accountability of coming here each day (if/when I can).
I have been doing okay, not great, as far as the program goes. I don't really know what my problem is other than me making things harder on myself than they need to be. I realize that. I just don't know why I do that, but I am going to try not to think too much about it because...
I only have about 8(ish) pounds to go, and I would really like to do this. We are talking what, a month ? What's my freaking problem ? I have had a little Alex on my shoulder lately, whipping my attitude into shape... hee hee.
So, I have been able to nip the purging in the bud now, which is *good.* But, now I need to be back on and *STAY* on until I am done. Right now it's been on for a couple and a half days, off for an evening. Yadda yadda. That gets old, let me tell you. And, I had a few wakeup calls, too. One evening I was eating badly and thinking I would just go excercise it all off the next morning. I imagined what I would feel doing that, too, and I realized how silly I was being. If I just stayed compliant for a few days, whatever weight I would have gained by eating off program would be gone. Which is easier ? If I stay on program, I will lose the weight and reach my goal. Where's the mystery ? I think that's the beauty as well as the mental danger for me with this program. I have never had results this fast with anything besides starvation type methods.
Anyway, tomorrow is a new day, and I will be back here for awhile. I have realized that whatever deprivation I may feel by killing my bad eating habits, I myself will actually live through it and be all the better for it. Sometimes I wonder what my motivation is for wanting to lose 8ish more pounds... well, because I want to. I think that's around my fittest self weight, and I want to get there, darnit !!
So, I think I need to set some kind of athletic goal for myself because fitting into clothes and having a flatt
er stomach is just not what it used to be for me. I want to be athletic, that's the crux of it for me.
I know some mountains I would like to climb, and my ultimate goal will not be reachable by this summer because I need to have more training time, but I think I will make some goals that will help me get there. And, btw, Nickie, I have not forgotten about posting some organization suggestions... I have just been thinking... hee hee.
But, okay. Cheers to tomorrow
.
Karli